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MY PAINS (COMPLETE STORY) PT 1 - 121 BY MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE




PART 1
MY PAINS

Four years of my marriage.....
I was in my room with my four years old son Johnson. Johnson hadn't slept , he kept jumping all around
the room playing. He asked me to buy him something i can't remember. Johnson is a boy, if you don't
reply him he won't let you rest, so I told him I didn't have money because I wasn't ready for his talks.
Johnson, ran to where I kept some money took part of it and said "mommy is this not money." I took it
from him, put it back and carried him on the bed to sleep. Not up to five minutes harm robbers broke
into the house. They came into my room where me and my son where. I was told to keep quite. I was
very sacred. They took most of my expensive jewelries , my husband expensive wrist watches and the
money that was in the room. It was as if they knew where we kept most of the expensive things in the
room, because they went straight to those places without asking question. Their faces were covered,
they were three . All this was happening around 1:10am, on a sunday.I kept mute as i was told to do so
lying on the floor. I saw Johnson running out of the room, son! son!! son!!! I shouted even though I was
told to keep mute, but he didn't answer me. In a twinkling of an eye I didn't see Johnson, before I could
shout 'son' the fourth time, on of them came rubbed something on my arm and shot me on that spot, i
passed on there.
My blood brother, who was in the house at that time but in a different room, was the one who took me
to the hospital.
I went into coma for three days.



PART 2
MY PAINS
©PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE
The world of coma was a different world, as I found myself in a land full of green tress. "It was a green
pasture indeed."
I kept on walking, then I found a swing and i sat on it. I heard beautiful voices singing , could this be
heaven? I thought. I was so immersed with all I was seeing until I later realized myself. I remembered
Johnson. Where is my son? I shouted. I kept running, I must have been running for twenty minutes
when I heard a male voice.
"Hello dear, where are you running to? This is a place of peace, who is pursuing you?
"I want to see my son" I said. The male voice laughed.
I started to cry.
"I want to leave here", I kept on saying. The male voice said "don't cry young lady be calm you will love
here." "I can never love here" I said, "I want to go and see my son" I cried out. The male voice said if you
leave here it's weather you go to heaven or you return back to your body. Where is my body? I asked.
The male voice said look left and down. Lo and behold I saw my body in the pool of my blood, supported
with life machine, I saw my parents, siblings, loved ones, church members, at my side praying for me.
I screamed, "mommy!"The male voice laughed and said "they can't hear you, you only can hear and see
them". Please take me back, i said. But he laughed and said "I can't, am happy you are here I won't be
lonely" . I turned around to see if he had come out from where he was hiding or talking from but he
didn't. "Hey man, come out from where you are so i can see you" I said. The male voice replied saying
"No, I love to be where I'm, I have been here for the past 7 months now". I was shocked. Is this how I
will be here for a long time? I sat down, crying. The male voice said " you don't need to cry. You can go
to see anyone you wish to but you will still return here."
I want to see my husband and son. Where is the way out?
The male voice laughed and said, "just think about where you want to be and you will appear there."
Hmmmmm, i said.
I thought of my son, Johnson. Lo and behold I appeared to where he was. He was sitting quietly on a
sofa chair with a man, sipping his favorite soft drink . He looked so calm. I thought Johnson was going to
shout "mommy" on seeing me but he didn't, then I realized I couldn't be seen . son! son!! son!!! I kept
shouting but he didn't hear me.



PART 3
MY PAINS
© DUROJAIYE PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO
The next day, I was in my house. I walked into my room I saw my own blood on the floor. I took a
picture of me, my husband and my son placed on the wardrobe. I sat on my bed crying. "Will I still see
you Johnson? where are you? ". I cried out bitterly. Then, I heard two voices, male and female. The noise
was coming from another room -Mariam's room(A relative of my husband). I walked into the room, i
saw Maraim and our gateman having sex. I was surprised. I cried the more. "Could Maraim be
responsible for all that's happening"? I asked myself. I left the room still crying. I heard someone
knocking the gate, the person must have been knocking for long, before Musa the gateman heard and
came out "who dey there?, you won break my oga gate?, why you dey knock like that, na your house
you dey?" He opened the gate angrily. It was my father in-law. Musa went on his kneels begging-"oga I
take God beg you no vex, oga abeg, I dey lie down for ground for you"- My father in-law didn't reply. He
just went back into his car. Musa opened the gate for him to drive in. His driver drove the car in and
parked at the garage in the house. At this time, I saw Maraim walking out, she was shocked on seeing
him, but he didn't notice it."Daddy mi ekasan",she said. "Ba wo ni"? He replied. "mo wa ok, daddy",she
said. He was heading in, when she said, "ah daddy anuty mi oti travel o ". "Really! where did she travel
to?" he asked. " o losi ehnn....... She tried speaking english. "She go her parent house with her son" she
said. "oh mi o m. Why is her number not reachable too?" He asked.
"Ha Aunty mi she los her phone before she travel, she tell me when she buy new one she go call me."
She said.
"Why is your number not going through also?" he asked her. "Battery phone mi o ti baje." I could see my
father in-law relieved of tension, as he counted some amount of money and gave it to Maraim. She
collected it happily. "Oshey sir, modupe sir",she said dancing.
"I know she is fine, thanks to Allah", he said. He entered his car and the driver drove off. I cried bitterly, I
wished I could tell my husband all that happened at that moment. What Maraim did shocked me. She is
someone i was so nice to.
I kept crying. Then i saw Musa grabbed Maraim at the back and they went in.
I went back. I heard the male voice again.
"Where did you go to?" I didn't give an answer. "I am not going to answer you until I see you." I said. I
looked far away, I saw a tree , the leaves were falling. "Wondering why it is?" The male voice asked.
People are praying for you to wake up and once all the leaves have fallen, you will return back to your
body. I kept mute surprised.
After a long while, the male voice said sadly, "Look at that tree over there it is still full of leaves." Only
few people are praying for me to wake up. Many do not know I'm in coma." I felt pity for him. "Sorry for
that", I said .
I appeared in front of my body in the hospital crying. I wanted to enter my body but I couldn't. Lo and
behold, when I lifted up my head, i saw Maraim. What was she doing here? I asked myself. How did she
know I am in this hospital? I asked myself. Although she knew about the incident but she did not come
out of her room on that day. Maraim was trying to switch off the life support machine. Once that Is off, I will not be able to return to my body. Don't do that please!!!!!!! I kept on saying-crying. But she was still
looking for where to switch it off. Please Maraim don't please!!!! I was crying bitterly. Don't end my life
completely Maraim please, what have I done to deserve all this from you?. My tears were flowing like a
stream of water.


PART 4
MY PAINS
©DUROJAIYE PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO
My tears were more than water already, dripping from my eyes. May be if I knew I won't have married a
Muslim, may be all this won't be happening now. I said. Was this a punishment for me? I asked myself
crying. Am not dead. I will wake up one day I know, I said . Don't end my life Maraim. At this time she
was about to switch it off.
I accepted my fate.
Then I heard some people coming in. Maraim stopped and and sat down on the chair beside me
pretending to be praying for me.
My parents, siblings and other church members walked in, it was time for another prayer session for me.
Maraim greeted my mom. They first saw during my wedding. I kept looking around as Maraim left, and
they started praying. I could see my mom and sister crying. I left .Then, I heard the male voice again.
"Welcome." He said. I didn't reply to his greetings.
I sat down on the green grasses calmly looking all around, wondering when I will get back to the world.
Everywhere was so calm, i looked up, the sky looked so beautiful.
I saw a woman walking on a river, I also saw a boy of my son's age or older than, just walking around.
My mind flashed back to my son, Johnson.
I must have stayed on that spot I was sitting for hours, when I heard a loud voice say, "Daughter go back
to your body." I felt a force pulling be back. I was going, when the male voice who had always been
hiding talking to me came out. "Don't leave only me", he said. Thats all I could remember.
I coughed, my eyes were opened I first saw my mom. I could see the Joy on her face as she held me tight
to herself, thanking God I was awake.
Where is my son? Where is my husband? She didn't answer me.
Even though she didn't voice it out, I could see the look on her face saying, "so u still want to go back to
that family after all that happened to you?" I didn't care I love my husband and my son.
For the past 4 Years, my mom was still against my marriage, she never came to visit me even when i
gave birth to my son Johnson. I was so depressed, only my sister and brother came, she never for once
visited my home.
That's to tell you how my mom never loved the fact I am married to a Muslim family.
Let me tell you how it all started, before I continue from where I stopped.
I met my husband Ibrahim, when I was still in the university. I was a church goer and love Christ so
much. I never for once thought of getting married to a Muslim. I wanted to to marry a man who is a
Christian and has the fear of God in him. My dream was to raise a godly home and godly children in
Christ.
Then as fate will have it, Ibrahim came my way one day, offered to ride me to school, we exchanged
contacts in his car.
We started seeing each other, going out, I was already falling in love with him already when he asked
me to be his girlfriend and I accepted happily. He was in his final year in the university, I was in my
second year.
When I finally graduated, he proposed to me and I accepted happily. He had been wanting to know my
mom and dad since but I never introduced him to them, because I was scared, I knew my mom
especially won't want me to marry a Muslim at all. Although I had met his parent like up to four times,
they believed I was a Muslim, as that was the lie Ibrahim told his parent so they could love me. Those
times I visited his parent I was always on the hijab, which he bought for me the first day I was to go see
his parent.His parent loved me so much , especially his dad.
I had to put up courage to introduce him to my own parent after he proposed to me.
We were both in the car, he was driving to come see my parent after like 3 hours or so we arrived at my
parent's house. We both came down, walking in to my parent house. A lot of things were running
through my mind at that moment.
First person who we saw was my mom. She turned back to look at him. He greeted her well she replied
to his greeting well also.
My mom knew he is my husband to be, as I had informed her a day before we came that I will be
introducing my husband to be to her. She was so happy seeing him.
"You are welcom. Have your seat", she said.
We both sat down on the same chair in the living room.
I saw my mom was okay by him, as he is a very well to do man.

First three questions my mom asked was his name, his religion and his state. My mom had always
warned me many times when I was still younger never to marry a man who wasn't a Christian. Her face
changed when he told her he is a Muslim. what's my mom going to do now, I asked myself, as I feared.


PART 5
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

What's my mom going to do now. I asked my self, as I feared.
"Boy, leave my house! I can't let you marry my own daughter, the darkness can not comprehend the
light, my daughter i of the light, she is a Christian." I was so shocked at my mom statement. My mom
always referred to anyone she could give birth to as a "girl" or "boy." I was dumbfounded, in all my life I
had never seen my mom spoken that way to anyone. That's to tell you how much she didn't want us to
be together.
Ibrahim was kind of a proud person, he didn't have pride though he hated insult or embarrassment. And
whenever he was angry it took time for him to forgive and forget. I remembered times when I was still
in the university then if he picked offence at anything I did he won't call or chat me for days sometimes
even more than two weeks.
Don't be angry, don't be angry I said to him, but he kept on walking away from my parent house. Please,
please........I didn't even know what to say as I was crying. He entered into his car. "Leave so I won't hit
you." He said. And before I could say a word he drove off with a high speed. God save him don't let him
have an accident. I said in my mind. I stood crying, recalling what my mom always told me then. "Don't
you dare go into any relationship with any man if he is not a Christan, and even though he is, make sure
he is a worker in the
church. God will direct you to the right man. I know what I'm saying you may not understand now."
My father wasn't a devoted christian when he and my mom met. When they got married he started to
go to church every Sundays and evening services also. My dad stopped going to church when I was
fifteen years old I think, yes. My mom faced a lot in her marriage, she didn't want the same for her
daughters.
I decided to go in. I heard my dad questioning my mom why she sent the young man away. I didn't
bother listening to the rest of their conversation but from the few things I over heard them saying my
dad wasn't really against me getting married to Ibrahim.
Later that night I still could not stop crying, my pillow was soaked in tears like water was poured on it I
kept on blowing my nose on my bed sheet.
I came online on WhatsApp, I messaged Ibrahim he was online. I waited for like five minutes before I
checked my WhatsApp but no reply. Ibrahim will never reply my message when he was angry. I decided
to call him, I called up to fifteen times but he kept on hanging up. He deleted the picture on his DP, it
was a pic of me and Ibrahim, we snapped the picture together he in the university on our first date. He
was reminding me of times we had together then two nights ago before he came to my patent house,
that was why he used the picture as his DP. Was he going to post another lady's pic as his DP ? I thought
to myself. I also deleted my picture on my DP, I uploaded a pictures which said ```"when love comes you
love, but when love leaves you hate the love "``` . I uploaded many sad pictures on Facebook.
Many people who saw my status were asking me what's wrong but I didn't reply any.
I decided to sleep at 11:53pm, but I couldn't sleep. I was heart sick, i was love sick. I hated the pains of
being heart broken. I was first heart broken when i just graduated from secondary school. I was
processing admission into the Federal University of Agriculture Abeokuta to study microbiology, my
dream course. My dad chose the university for me the day I brought my jamb form home for him to fill it
for me, being it my first time I didn't really know what to fill in it. My mom was the one who took me to
where I registered for my jamb, because my dad wasn't really in support of me sitting for jamb that
same year I graduated from secondary school.
To my dad surprise I made my first jamb my parent were so happy. Later on my waec result was out I
made it also, my parents were so happy . I joined the aspirant group chat on Facebook. I met this
particular guy online, we were both aspiring for the same university . He added me and I accepted. He
asked me if I had the past questions for post jamb, I sent the ones I had to him. He introduced himself
to me as Juan.
As time went on we kept on chatting. I always replied to his messages late due to a lot of guys I do chat
with online both the ones I knew and the ones I didn't. Let me say like 80% of them asked me to be their
girlfriend but I kept rejecting them. I wasn't the type who loves easily.
Things started to become different between me and Juan as I noticed I started liking him. To cut the long
story short we started dating. He was so caring, loving, nice, romantic, lively good at giving
advice ,responsible, sensible, a church goer and quite wise too. I noticed all that online.
Tell me who will see that kind of guy and won't love him? I loved him, I made it known to all, mostly
other guys that I had someone. There were times when some will tell me "stay away from him he is a
player" I felt they said it out of jealousy because I refused to date them. I would forward all the chats to
him he will tell me " don't worry they will be the one to attend our wedding."
I was so much in love with him. Juan made me trust and love him so much and I did love him. We had a
lot of fights during the relationship due to trust issues I didn't know why but I didn't trust him fully. Juan
Page 12 of 495
told me of how he spent months in the hospital when his ex girlfriend broke his heart. I felt pity when
he told me all what he passed through.
"I know how it feels to be heart broken I can never break your heart. I love you." He said that after he
narrated all to me. That made the trust increase more as I felt since he had felt what to be heart broken
is, he would not break my heart . But I still had some doubt about him. Anytime we had
misunderstanding then he will always tell me "don't talk when you angry, talk later when your anger has
gone off, don't always assume things when you weren't there to know if it happened or not, always be
patient in life." He always said then.
We dated for 3months online.
We kept on chatting a day before our post jamb how it will be seeing each other the first time.
The next day was our post jamb the first time for us to see.
I was so excited.


PART 6
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE
I was so excited.
I got to Federal university of Agriculture, with my dad. I was so happy and amazed about how big the
university was. It was my first time in the university I couldn't stop smiling. I met some of my online
friends. I also made some new friends also.
I called Juan's number he told me he will arrive by 4pm. My battery was low then, before the time he
said he would arrive my phone had gone off. I felt so sad.
At around 5pm my dad came to where I was and we headed to his friend house, to spend the night
there in Abeokuta.
The generator was turned on lately. I plugged my charger to socket to charge my phone, later, I
switched it on. I came online to chat with Juan but he wasn't online. He called me at 11pm, i explained
to him, he said no problem, we will meet the next day. I was happy.
The next morning at 6am, me and my dad were at the school gate. I called him he picked up, I told
where I was. He said he will come there in some few minutes. I kept on waiting and calling. Later he
called me back and said he was sorry he wouldn't be able to come out because it was too early, that we
would meet after our exams. I felt sad. My exam was to hold by 7am, as I was about walking in a security
man told me phones were not allowed in. I walked to my dad and gave my phone to him. I boarded a
cab to go in.

After my exams I kept wondering how I would meet him. My phone wasn't with me. I sat down outside
Yakub hall if I could still recall the name of the hall,I was waiting for him watching everyone that passed
by if I would see him.
After hours I lost hope, I decided to leave. I went to the garage and boarded a cab to the school gate.
When I came down from the school gate, i felt so sad. This day won't pass without me seeing him, I will
go back in. I said to myself.
I heard aspirants saying they didn't let them go in again once they came out and they were done with
exams. But I took up courage to still make a move.
I was about entering the school shuttle bus to go in , when a man stopped me and said "show your exam
pass" I did. My exam pass showed I had done my exams already in the morning. "What are you still
going to do in school? Students who have done their exams are not allowed to go in again." He said. I
smiled and said, Sir I just feel like still going round the school. He smiled back and agreed I should go in. I
was filled with joy. When I got in I kept wandering around the examination centres if I would see him, i
was tired.
At that time some securities asked me what I was still doing in school when I was done with my exams.
One of them told me to enter the shuttle bus. I did. And after some minutes the driver drove off. We got
to the school gate. A lot of parent were waiting. I was still in the bus when I saw my dad and i shouted
daddy! daddy!! daddy!!! he turned and saw him. "Success my daughter, how was your exam?." Fine dad
I said. I took my phone from him. We were already on our way home already. I saw 6 missed calls from
Juan, I called him back. He answered. " where are you? I tried my best searching for you today I said. To
cut the story short I explained all I went through to him. Tears were dripping from my eyes but I tried to
clean it up quickly so my dad won't notice it. He said ok and hanged up.
The next morning I received a message from him saying .."I'm so sorry I made up my mind if I didn't see
you I will end everything between us, I have a girlfriend but we stopped dating when I met you online,
she loves me so much but i love you more than i love her. But there is noting I can do now I just have to
go for her, I know this will hurt you but I'm sorry try and understand." That message he sent hit me so
hard in my chest that day. I was never expecting such from him.
My eyes were filled with tears after reading the message that made me heartbroken and depressed for
four months before I could get over it I went through pains during those times.
I was feeling those pains again, when Ibrahim wasn't replying my texts or answering my calls.

I flashed back to when me and Ibrahim first met, times we had together and the day he proposed to me.
I also flashed back to the time he fed me when I was a sick a day.
So all those memories will be a waste I cried. As I thought to myself.
At this time, it was 2:32am I picked up my phone to see if he had replied my message, his last seen was
2:31am he hadn't replied my messages. I felt hurt the more as I laid down my head on my bed to rest.


PART 7
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRYO DUROJAIYE
I felt hurt the more as I laid down my head on my bed to rest.
Page 16 of 495
It was 8:53am, in the morning break fast was ready. My mom prepared my favourite meal rice, turkey
with salad. I knew she did that just to make me happy. My kid sister came knocking on my door. "Wake
up big sister mommy prepared your favorite food." She said. Am not ready to eat, I'm not hungry. I said.
She must have been surprised at my reply she kept mute for a while and later said, "I want to see you,
come out!" Leave me alone ha! I shouted at her. I knew she felt bad the way I replied her, I felt bad for
shouting at her also. But I just wanted to be alone.
I came out of my room at 11:30am. I didn't bother checking my phone, I knew he won't reply me when
he was angry. I saw my mom sitting in the veranda, I went straight to her with tears in my eyes and said.
You don't ever care how I feel, all you care about is how you feel. I was still crying breathing in and out
heavily. "My daughter, i'm your mother and I want what is the best for you, I don't want you to suffer in
marriage the way I did. Marriage is a life time something, not like boyfriend and girlfriend you can just
break up and leave, you can't marry a Muslim my daughter." She said.
Mom he is good, caring, loving , understanding, giving, honest which some Christian guys can't even be
like him, it's not about one being a christian it's about one knowing God. I said. "Does he know Christ?"
she asked. My siblings were watching me and my mom. I was still talking, she got angry and said "shut
up." Before I could say anything again she slapped me on my face. "Since you know better than your
mother go ahead and marry him, you are free, only your father will sit for the marriage, because I won't
be there." She said and walked away to her room.
My dad was in his room listening he didn't like to interfere anytime my mom was angry talking to any
of us. The pains were just too much. As I was crying, i walked away too.
Later that day my sister came to my room, petting me not to cry. I just kept saying okay, as I was still
crying. She ran to mom's room. I heard my mom shouted. "That is her business if she doesn't eat, let
her keep on crying." I am sure my sister told her I haven't eaten and I was still crying.
Later my bro came in and said... "you too sef why do you want to marry a muslim"
I shouted at him to get out, he did.
An hour later my dad came in standing in front of my door, after some few minutes of standing seeing
me crying he said. "Don't cry okay, don't cry it is well." He said and left.
My dad is a gentle easy going man.

Ibrahim, was really the hard type to beg when he was angry. it's been two months now I had sent over
an hundred messages to him, when I checked my call logs I had called him over an hundred times also.
The pains were just too much to bear in my heart and body. I was depressed. If you had been in my
position before you will understand what I meant. If I could give all I had to have happiness back I would
have done that. Then i remembered the saying..... "happiness is one of the most vulnerable things in life
money can't buy."
I cried out so loudly. My parents and siblings came to my room, they saw noting was wrong with me I
was only crying. My mom looked at me and left, then my dad and my bro also. My kid sister came to sit
near to be on my bed petting me.
Three days later, i still kept on messaging him. Then I decided he had given up on me, no need to keep
on disturbing myself over spilled milk .
I deactivated my Facebook account, Instagram account and I deleted his numbers also. I managed to
walk down the street to go get a new sim card in less than 30minutes, I was done with the registration
of my new sim. I got home and sat on my bed. It's time to start a new life again I said to myself, as I put
on a sad smile, i removed my two sims broke it, and inserted the new sim I got.
Later in the evening i went to the kitchen to prepare dinner for myself. They were all surprised to see
me in the kitchen especially my mom for the past two months I had not entered the kitchen I just been
managing to eat what was prepared. Food had no taste in my mouth. I had grown so slim. My mom
came in to the kitchen she assisted me with what I was preparing but we didn't say a word to each
other.
After i had eaten dinner I went to the veranda to sit down, I was still in serious pains my heart still felt
like it was just broken yesterday, I could feel my health wasn't in the right state I needed to go for a
check up.

I saw Ibrahim coming, I was shocked and dumbfounded I started crying again. I saw him with my favorite
expensive soft drink and something wrapped with a gift wrapper on his other hand. We kept looking at
each others eyes. My parent and siblings were in the living room watching TV. Our love song we do
listen to always, even when in his car started to play, it was playing from the TV channel they were
watching in the living room. The song made me had many flashbacks of the times we spent together. He
took a step and walked closer to me, he hugged me saying.. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm sorry. He held my
hands softly looking at the engagement ring still on my finger. "I'm very sorry , you know I will never let
you go, baby please, accept me back." I started crying. He stood holding my hands waiting for my reply.


PART 8
MY PAINS
© DUROJAIYE PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO
He stood holding my hands waiting for my reply.
I opened my eye looking around. Oh gosh it was all a dream.
Why?, I asked myself crying.
I felt like going back to my dream.
I rushed to my room, i tried forcing myself to to sleep may be I would dream of him again but sleep
wasn't coming. I sat down on my bed crying, I flashed back to all the good times we had and my dream
also even though it was just a dream i wished it didn't end. I'm not a person who is good at explaining
my emotions, i write them down as songs. I got up I took a pen and a book from my wardrobe. Since no
one understands the way I feel I will just write it as a song. Then i started to write.
```Baby I get devotion for you o
Na only you full my dairy ..
I dey demand for your love o
Why you won depart bring demarcation ...
Baby don't go, don't go please stay, e ma lo ooo```
I couldn't continue as my hands were shaking terribly. I managed to rest my head on my bed to sleep.
It was 10:05am on a saturday morning, when my bro came to wake me up that some people were
waiting for me in the living room.
Who are they? I asked.
But he had left already. I brushed my mouth quickly and washed my face, I dried my face with a towel
and changed my cloth before I came out of my room.
My head was aching me badly. Oh no I said to myself, there sitting there was my pastor and his wife and
other of my choir member. I was in the choir department in my church. I greeted them all, they replied.
Page 20 of 495
"Is there anything wrong? We haven't been seeing you in church for a long time. Are you tired of serving
the Lord? You used to be part of the vibrant youths for Christ, but now you don't even attend church
services. Is there anything wrong you are not telling us, share it with us"
No sir, just that my business had really been giving me a tuff time sir, i get home very late this days Sir, I
still love God.
"And is that why you also left the church group chat?" Oh I remembered I must have left the group chat
when I changed my sim.
"And you also refused picking your calls later on your number wasn't reachable." I'm so sorry sir I said,
work really takes a lot of my time, I hardly have time for my phone, so I just had to switch it off anytime
I'm at work so I could concentrate, I said.
I could see the look on my mom's face wanting to tell them the truth but she didn't may be she felt pity
for me or something.
My pastor and his wife talked to me. Later we all held hands together and they prayed and they left. I
had to lie to them, I asked God for mercy. Although i had a business I imported shoes, wears,
wristwatches, to be sold but ever since the day he left I had not been okay to go check my boutique. My
brother was the one in charge, helping me and I had others working under me me also.
Later in the afternoon I heard a knock on the door. My mom got up to answer. Lo and behold he was the
one. I stood up, I looked quietly at my mom's face she didn't say a word. He greeted my mom but she
didn't reply to his greeting. We kept looking at each other as he was coming closer, I woke up.
No!!! I screamed when I woke up , no this dream won't end. Why is all this happening I cried out. The
pains were too much to bear. I had flash backs of the good times we had together in the university.
There was a day he came to my house at around 10pm, I left my room door open to get something in my
friend's room, when I entered my room the light was off. But I didn't off the light I thought to myself. As
I was about going to the switch to switch the light on, a hand grabbed me and held my mouth, i couldn't
shout. I was so scared i started crying. The person was tall and and big I could feel it because he held me
tightly to himself.
"You must do as I say" the voice said, I nodded in agreement. The person said I must not talk and he
tied my eyes with an hanky. Then suddenly I felt my room brightened up a bit, my eyes were untied. To
my surprise I saw a very big cake on my table , on the cake was written " happy birthday to my darling "
the cake was big and well decorated beside the cake were two of my favourite drinks and a gift also
which was wrapped. I turned around I was shocked to see Ibrahim, I didn't know what I say, I jumped on
him and hugged him tightly.

"I'm sorry for the way I surprised you baby" he said.
I was just smiling.
" I'm sorry I didn't wish you happy birthday earlier today I had been so busy. You know I always love you
baby." Thank you so much sweetheart I said happily. I locked my room door so no one would pop in. I
later thought of the cake only me and him couldn't eat all. I called other of my friends upstairs and down
stairs, they all came to my room to have a share of the cake.
"You have a good boyfriend, treat him well" someone whispered in my ear before leaving my room.
After they have all left, I thanked him so much. He then asked me to open the gifts he got for me lo and
behold it was an expensive neck lace , earring and a very nice perfume also. Thank you so much
sweetheart this must have cost you a lot the cake, the gift, the drinks. " "Everything for you darling you
are worth more than that."he said.
I hugged him we both started kissing, after some minutes he put off my clothes we both had oral sex
that night like we always did.
We spent the night together in my house. Early the next day he left, he had works to be done. I waved
him good bye as he drove off that day. I was in my third year in the university then.
The good memories were just too much to be gone. I laid on my bed crying.
The next morning, I woke up at 10am. I heard my friend's voice Joyce greeting my parent in the living
room. Joyce was my only closest friend. She just came back, she had been out of the county for a while.
The pains were just too much I was feeling unease, I wasn't feeling well at all, I wasn't myself at all.
I opened my eyes to find myself in the hospital. Joyce was seated by my side.


PART 9
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE
I opened my eyes to find myself in the hospital. Joyce was seated by my side.
What happened to me, I asked her, surprised?
She told me she came to my house, after she greeted my parent, she asked of me and they told her I
was in my room. When she got to my room she called my name, tapped me but I didn't respond. She
said i was unconscious, so she and parents rushed me to the hospital.
Where is my mom and dad? I asked.
"They just left few minutes ago they will be back soon" she said.
I saw someone coming in front of me it was Ibrahim. I didn't feel like seeing him, upon all he rejected my
calls refused to reply my messages. What does he want now I asked myself. A part of me wanted to get
closer to him because I still loved him, another part of me did not.
" I'm sorry dear. When all this happened I called him. I guess I should leave now so you both can talk",
Joyce said. Ibrahim sat on the chair close to my bed, i turned my face to the other side. He came to the
other side of the bed. He held my hands and he placed his other hand on my forehead.
"How you feeling?" he asked. I didn't answer him. We kept on looking at each other for a while. Later he
started to kiss me. I didn't react back. At that time I just wished everything will be fine with us. Just then
I saw my mom coming in with two policemen. I was shocked.
"You are under arrest young man for for not staying away from her daughter since she warned you."
One of the policemen said. Policemen could be so stupid sometimes, am sure she had given them
money for this, I thought to myself. I was crying again, the pains were just too much to bear.
Ibrahim quietly took out his phone from his pocket, called a DPO spoke to him and gave his phone to
one of the policemen. I didn't know what the DPO told the policeman, he apologized to him and they
left.
My mom was surprised too I saw the look on her face.
"Stay away from my daughter i won't allow you marry my daughter" my mom said.

Pains filled my heart so much with that statement she made.
Two days later I was discharged my parent drove me home.
5months later since all that happened.
I was sitting on my bed when I remembered of a guy who asked me out then when I was in my first year
in the university, hiss name was Abel. He was more than a church goer, he attended church programs
like the world would end tomorrow, he was the pastor of a student campus fellowship,
he kept on pleading me to date him one day I reluctantly said yes to him. After like 3weeks I said I
wasn't interested due to the fact I only liked him as a friend and he never had time he was always busy
with church activities too much, we hardly talked on phone or chatted. He felt so bad the day I said I
wasn't interested to him. He was on his kneels begging me but I had made my decision.
"I know you will come back to me one day" he said on that day. I felt pity for him but I didn't love him.
He already had a ministry of his own I saw that as I was scrolling through my Instagram account. It was
my Instagram account I opened 7months ago when I got a new sim. I didn't waste time I started
following him. In less than 5minutes I received a notification, he was following me back. I guess he
recognized I was the one from my DP. I saw many videos of him preaching, healing the sick, delivering
people, I was so surprised and impressed. I also saw many pictures of him and a particular lady. May be
he was married I felt bad a bit. Ibrahim must have finally moved on too I said. I wanted to cry but I held
back my tears, but i couldn't hold back my pains.
A week after Joyce came to my house we talked about guys, relationship , sex and all. I also told her
about Abel. She asked about Ibrahim. I was angry but I didn't show it.
"The will of God will be done" I told her.
"He still loves you " she said.
I loved him too. "So you don't love him anymore?" She asked. I...I...I.... I still do tears started to drop
from my eyes.
"I'm sorry" she said. It's okay Joyce I understand you .

I introduced Joyce to Ibrahim two years ago when we were still dating.
Later in the evening I came to the living room to watch TV with my family. My phone rang. I left the
living room to my room to answer the call. "Hi this is Abel" he said.
Ohhhhh I was surprised he called. I gave my number to him 2days ago when we were chatting on
Instagram.
Him: So, it's been long, how you doing?
Me: yeahhh, I'm doing well and yourself?
Him: I'm very good, i thank God.
Me: I can see that.
Him:how?
Me: your pics and videos on Instagram na.
Him: laughing.
Me: yeah.
Him: So where are you now ?
Me: I'm home and you?
Him: I'm at church now, a program is to start by 9pm, I just decided to call you before it begins.
Me: Awww, thank you.
Him: Thank God. It's really nice hearing from you again.
Me: Awwww, yeah.
Him: My greetings to your husband. Good bye now, take care.
Me: I'm.....
Before i could complete my statement he had hanged up. I tried calling him back but he had switched
off, it was 8:40pm, I guessed he was preparing for the program already.
The next day I went to Joyce house.



PART 10
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS DUROJAIYE MOTUNRAYO
The next day I went to Joyce's house in the evening.
I told her about me and Abel's discussion on the phone and how we had been chatting.
"Don't tell me you falling for Abel" she said.
Dear me and Abel are not dating ok, I said laughing, I guess he is married.

"So you just going to forget Ibrahim?" She asked.
Yes Joyce since that is what you have been wanting to hear. We talked for an hour.
Let's go out for dinner baby I feeling hungry.
"Food lover," she said jokingly.
We laughed over it, she entered my car and I drove off to an eatery.
Order baby I will pay, I said.
As we were eating, we were talking about a movie, when she suddenly changed the topic.
"Why have you been refusing to give me your new number," she asked.
I had been refusing to give her my new number because she might give Ibrahim and I didn't want
anything in contact with him. That evening I was just excited so I typed my number on her phone. I took
my phone followed her on Instagram. Check your Instagram am the one who just followed you dear, In
no minutes she followed back.
"Why don't you just follow Ibrahim on Instagram" she asked.
For what Joyce, look don't make me angry i am trying to stay away from him and you want the two of us
to be contact?
"No dear, he won't know you the one since you have a new Instagram account with a different name all
you have to do is to delete your only pic on Instagram." Sounds funny , why should I do all that? I asked.
"To know if he has actually moved on, or he still wants you. You can become so close to him online, after
a while you both when you both are good friends you can start asking him about his love life if he is in a
relationship, engaged or whatever" she said.
I wanted to ask her how was it my business, because I believed Ibrahim had moved on. But I
remembered Juan's statement. "Don't always assume." I didn't say yes or no to her if I will do it or not,
but from the expression on my face she knew I will do as she had said. She smiled at me, I pretended not
to notice. We were done eating and talking. I bought some ice creams, and we headed to where my car
was packed. As I was driving I turned on the music in the car. After some few minutes she changed it to
the love song me and Ibrahim do listen to then.
Oh gosh, are you crazy! I yelled at her, Joyce what's all this. She just smiled.
Later we got to her house she came down, I bade her goodbye and I drove back home.

I got home at 8pm, I had a shower. I plugged my phone to charge fully. I went to the living room to
watch a movie with my family. At 10:09pm when the movie ended I went back to my room. I unplugged
my phone it was fully charged.
Something came to mind saying, if you truly love Ibrahim then fight for him, love is worth fighting for.
Gosh, not again. I said to myself as I deleted my only picture on Instagram .I was about to type Ibrahim's
username on Instagram to follow him up, when Abel's message popped
in front of my screen.
Him: Good evening.
Me: Good evening Sir.
Him: stop the Sir, ok.
Me: lol, why ok good evening Pastor Abel.
Him: funny you, so how u doing?
Me: I am doing well you?
Him: I'm good all thanks to God. I'm free today.
Me: wow nice so we can chat longer today.
Him: lol no go and sleep so your husband won't think one man out there is wanting his wife.
Me: lolllll I'm not married.
Him: you kidding me right.
Me: No, I'm not married.
Him: seriously? But you are in a relationship? Or engaged.?
Me: no I'm not in any
Him: just stop this I'm serious
Me: I'm very serious.
Him: hmmm ok
Me: yeah.
Him: can we meet tomorrow at KFC.
Me: sure, what time
Him: I will call you tomorrow
Me: lol no o am not coming o i was just joking i don't want another man's wife to think I have something
to do with her husband.
Him: hahahahaha .lol
Me: what's so funny???????
Him: what makes you think I'm married.
Me: I have seen many pictures of you and your wife on Instagram
Him: lollllll who?
Me: a lady not too dark , she's slim and average in height I think.
Him: lol check the pictures well she is Mrs Femi Lola she supports my ministry
Me: wow!!! That's really nice.
Him: yeah so I'm not married or in any relationship.
Me: lol ok ooo
Him: ok good night dear when we see tomorrow we will talk things out.
Me: lol good night.
Him: Sweet dreams.
The next day in the morning I ate break fast at 9am, I took my bath, dressed up, and applied some light
make up. I slept off while waiting for Abel's call.
My phone rang and woke me up, i was happy Abel called at last but as I picked up my phone it was a
private number. Gosh, an unknown number but only my family, Joyce and Abel have my new number,
and none of them will use a private number to call me, i thought to myself.
I picked up the call.


PART 11
©  PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

I picked up the call.
Me: Hello.
Caller: Hey, how u doing.
Me: I doing well thanks. May I know who is on the line?
Caller: No!
Me: Hmmm. Why please.
Caller: yeah.
Me: Why?
Caller: Don't question me, all I want you to know is that don't you dare go out with anyone today.
Before, I could say a word the person had hanged up.
How did this person know I'm going out today, or does Abel have a girlfriend and she knew we had a date today and she decided to threaten me with a masculine voice. I thought to myself. Although the voice kind of sounded familiar. 
I sat down thinking, or could it be Ibrahim, I thought to myself. Oh no defiantly not, why did my mind even go to him, I asked myself, he has moved and he does not even have my number.
I was a bit scared as I laid down on my bed racking my brain who the person could be. 

Later that night, Abel called me and apologized for not calling me earlier in the day. He said he couldn't make it up because he was so busy during the day which he never planned for. 
"Can we meet tomorrow, please?" He asked.
 Alright, no problem I replied. "How is mom and dad?" 
They are fine thanks, what about yours? "They are good, have told them so much about you, they can't wait to see you especially my mom" he said. Awwwwwwww, I replied.
"Yes dear, good night now dear, love you" he said. Good night honey, I replied.
After he hanged up, I messaged Joyce, to tell her everything.

The next day, Abel called me at 12:06pm. 
"Hello dear, how u doing today? hope you ready? am on my way, can't wait to see you", he said.
 Awwwww, me too, I will be on my way dear, drive safely, I said. 
"Of course dear I will, bye now", he said and hanged up.
I got up immediately, I was ready already, I walked to where I packed my car, entered and drove off.
When I got there he was just arriving also. We both packed and came down. 
First you, I said smiling.
 "(laughing) No sweetheart, I did."  No, you were already on your way when you called me, I was still at home then, so I first you, I said laughing. "Alright if you say so", he said laughing. 
We both hugged each other tightly and headed in.
He asked me what I wanted. Anything very light, I said. 
"Very light", he repeated laughing . 
What's funny? I asked him. "Noting", he replied smiling. He made the order. Two plates of fried rice and turkey, with salad was placed on our table with two soft drinks also. I never said I wanted to eat dear, I ate an hour before you called. "(Smiling), that was an hour ago, you must eat again, remember you told this is your favorite meal, the first day I asked you when we were still in the university", he said.
 Oh, wow! don't tell me you still remember Abel, I was just in my first year then and you still remember, wow wow. I said. 
"Of course, I still do dear." He said. As we were talking and eating, two guys walked in to the table beside us, they sat down and ordered for drinks, I didn't bother taking note of the type of drink they ordered for. Their faces looked familiar to me.
"What's wrong sweetheart do you know them?" Abel asked.
 No I dear. 
"So why are you staring at them?" He asked. 
"Stop it jhor." I said laughing. "Ok dear."
"It's really great seeing you again, it's really great we are back together again." He said smiling, looking directly into my eyes. I just smiled back. He kept sterring at me as we were eating. Abel, I said laughing. 
"Yes miss, how may I help you?" He asked smiling. Why you staring at me like that? I asked smiling. "Noting, you are so beautiful you know that." Thanks, I said smiling. We talked about different things.

"I want you to know something, please do not feel bad about it" Abel said. I looked at myself to see may be something was wrong with me, may be i wasn't well dressed. What is that? I asked.
He  held my hands. Thank God I had removed the engagement ring on my finger two weeks before me and Abel chatted, i still had it on my finger just to scare guys away so they won't disturb me as I wasn't ready for any guy yet.

"We have known each other and I really don't think we should waste anymore months or years, I don't know how you will feel." He said and went on his kneels opened a small box and asked...
"will you marry me?"
 I was shocked I wasn't expecting that at all. All eyes were focused on us. I felt like I couldn't stand well. 
"Say yes, accept him." Many people who were looking at us were saying. A woman walked up to me and said "Dear, say yes to him, he was the one who prayed for me two years ago when I was about dying on the hospital bed if not of this young man I won't be here today, I would have been dead two years back. Am sure he can't remember me but I still do", the woman said and walked away. I flashed back to when Ibrahim proposed to me and tears began to drop from my eyes, I'm sure people thought I was shedding tears  because he proposed to me. "Please." Abel said.
 I was still looking at him.
 "I have bought this ring since waiting for the special person I will put on her finger, and you are the one", he said. 
At this time everyone was silent but their eyes were still on us. "Will you please marry me?" He asked again.
 Yesss... I will. I answered him slowly. He placed the ring on my finger and got up. We hugged each other at that time people were clapping still looking at us. Some who knew him came to congratulate him. "Congratulation Pastor,  can't wait to be at your wedding, and by the way she's is very beautiful."  one of them said. He turned to me and said "Sister, you so beautiful, you are so lucky to be with Pastor Abel." He said. I just smiled back.
"Thank you, so much for accepting me sweetheart, I love you so much", he said. I just smiled back. At least my dream of raising a godly home and godly children in Christ will come to my pass, may be God didn't want me to marry Ibrahim I thought to myself, as I also remembered Abel's statement then. "I know you will come back one day." That word really came true I said to myself. 

I would want you to meet my parents this week, my mom has been disturbing me she wants to see you,  since I told her about you, she saw your picture on my phone." Awwwww really? I asked blushing. "Yes sweetheart, so baby, when will it be okay for you to come this week?" He asked. Hmmmm, today is tuesday, I will let you know later dear. I said smiling.

We talked about a lot of things

As we came out  heading to the park I noticed a car parked, it looked like Ibrahim's car. My mind flashed back to Ibrahim. I couldn't see if someone was in the car or not because the car had tinted glass just like Ibrahim's own also. I was feeling the pains again as I flashed back to him. "Sweetheart, are you sure you are okay?" Abel asked.
 Yes dear I'm. I managed to reply him.
 "I don't think you are", he said. 
"Oh gosh I'm fine, am just feeling very tired I need to rest.
"If you say so dear", he said. We talked for a while, hugged and kissed each other on the lips before leaving. I entered my car and drove off. Flash back of Ibrahim came coming to my mind. Gosh, why did I see that car I asked myself, as tears were dripping from my eyes.

Later, in the night  Abel called, we talked like for an hour on the phone.


PART 12
MY PAINS
©  PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

Later, in the night he called me we talked for an hour on the phone.

The next day I told my mom everything that happened. She was so anxious to seeing him, especially due to the fact he was a pastor. 
"You see my daughter, I told you, you will find the right man." She said happily.

 Everything had been going on well. I started to attend his church, I left the church I was attending. When I see Abel stand to preach I felt so happy, i would imagine me being his wife. I would be called Pastor Mrs. Every Sunday we always went for lunch after church service before going home. 

On a sunday, after the service was over, we both went to his parents house.

His mom was so happy on seeing me,she welcomed me happily and so did his dad. They asked me a lot of questions and I  answered all.

His mom was cooking I decided to assist her. 
"No o don't worry my daughter I will do it myself go and rest ehn you look tired." She said smiling. Don't worry ma I can still assist you, i said. 
She came closer to me held my hands to the living room. 
"Sit down and rest my daughter. She said. 
Ok ma, i said laughing.

In less than two hours the food was prepared and served. We all ate on the dinning table, happily.

In the evening I went home, took a shower and headed to my mom's room.
"So tell me, how did it go?" She asked me smiling.
Mom it went well, his mom and dad were so happy on seeing me. I told her everything, she was happy.
"So when will he be coming?" My mom asked. Anytime soon mom. I said.

A week later he came to my parent house to cut the long story short they accept him. I was happy too.

Joyce came to visit me. 
"What's up baby? You look so good and happy gist me na", she said after we had greeted. 
Abel proposed to me, i said happily showing her my finger. 
"And you accepted him?" She asked. 
Of course dear I did and the most happiest  thing is that both his parents and mine agreed in we getting married to each other. 
"And you really love him?" She asked.
 I like him very well and I think am beginning to love him, and I will love him more as time goes on, i said. "So you want to marry who you don't love, I don't think you know what you are doing."
 Joyce I like him very much okay, If you were to be the one will you marry who you love or who loves you? I asked her.
 I guess that question struck her hard, she kept mute for some minutes. I focused on my phone before she broke the silence. "What if Ibrahim comes back, what if he still wants you?" She asked. 
Look! Joyce! Don't bring that up ok! He has someone else now, i said. 
"You love him very well I know, he loves you more, what makes you think he has got someone else?" She asked. 
What are you telling me Joyce! I called him then over an hundred times he never picked up nor reply my messages, i went through pains so don't bring that up again please. I said. 
"What if he was going through pains too, that's why he didn't answer your calls then and he didn't also reply your messages?" She asked.
 I also went through pains Joyce, yet I still called and messaged him. "You know men are different from we ladies." 
  Whatever, I said. "Just try the logic I told you about, he loves you beyond your imagination." 
You talk say wetin?? I said laughing out loudly. I'm not interested anymore. But deep down in my heart I still felt love for him but I had to move on. Please change the topic, I said. "Ok oo".
So Joyce, when will you have someone serious ehnn, I asked her. "(Laughing) soon o I'm still confused on who to accept."
Before she left we both held hands together, I prayed for her, for God to direct her to the right person to choose.

Later in the night. I checked Abel's last seen he hadn't been online since morning. 
He was always busy at work and with church activities. I  wondered how I will cope with him,I said to myself as I called him but he wasn't picking up. I later remembered a service was going on in his church, i wanted to attend but I was just tired.
 
I was feeling bored, going through Instagram, when I saw Ibrahim on Instagram, I deleted my only picture on Instagram and uploaded my cousin's picture. Then I followed him the time was at 8:50pm. At 10:13pm i received a notification he was following me.
"I know you will follow back when you see that lady's picture on my dp, lover of girls, I said to myself and hissed.
I messaged him.


PART 13
MY PAINS
©  PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

I messaged him.

 He replied and we started chatting. I sent him my number also and we started chatting on WhatsApp.

It's had been up to a week we had been chatting. 
 
We were chatting one evening....
 ```He:So are u single or in a relationship?
Me: No,I'm single.
Him: really?
He: yes
Him: wow why?
Me:noting I just feel like.
Him: lol ok oo
Me: Yeah
He: A beautiful lady like u is single that's quite amazing. Don't tell me no guy is asking you out?
Me: lol , there are am not just interested.
He: Why?
Me: Noting.
He: you can't tell me noting, there must be a reason.
Me: I just want to be alone, I told  my ex bf to give me space he got angry and broke up with me.
Him: So bad of him sorry for that dear he doesn't deserve u.
Me: lol yh.
Him: yes dear.
Me: So what about you don't you have a gf.
Him: no 
``` 
Why won't you deny you don't have a gf when you already falling for the lady on dp, I said in my mind.

 ```Me: why?
Him: just feel like not having.
Me: why!
Him: hmmm, there was a lady I wanted to marry before.
Me: so why didn't you?
Him: lol she's a Christian I'm a Muslim so her mom was against me marrying her.
Me: wow so u left her? Just like that.
Him: humm, I didn't really love her as such. Now have met you I feel so much love for you,  I have never loved anyone the way I feel for u.``` 

I was crying at that moment.

 ```Me: hmmmm it's ok
Him: yes baby!
Me: yh 
Him: can we meet tomorrow
Me: why and where.
Him: I'm missing you I feel like seeing you,   we have been chatting for a week or over now, I don't understand plssss I love you it may seem weird  to you but I do. Let's meet pls
Me: hmmmm

He told me where we were to meet.

Him: yes
 baby pls you know there?
Me: yes i  will try
Him: don't try baby u must
Me: ok
Him: that's good baby. I love you
Me: goodnight now I'm feeling sleepy.
Him: please baby let me call you today pick up today please I want to hear your voice.
Me: no.. we will see tomorrow.
Him: why?
Me: noting.
Him: ok can we just do a video chat.
Me: no
Him: Ok I will do as you say.
Me: better goodnight
Him: goodnight baby dream of me I will send you where we should meet tomorrow and the time also I will be waiting for you there I can't wait to see you baby.
Me:ok

```So Ibrahim never loved me. I i asked myself, crying as I laid down on my bed.

Forty five minutes later, Abel called me.

 ```Abel: hello my sweetheart.
Me: hello love
Abel: sorry I missed your call the service just ended 30 minutes ago. How are you  sweetheart
Me: I'm fine dear and you
Him: are u sure? Your voice sounds someone how, are you crying!
Me: no dear not at all I'm just tired that's why
Abel: tell me the truth what's wrong dear
Me: noting dear ,u sef ehnn am fine
Abel: ok sweetheart, how is mom and dad?
Me: fine and yours
Abel: they are good.
Me: alright 
Abel: ok goodnight my love am still at church I have to get going now 
Me: aright good night love.

```The next day I went to Joyce's house to tell her everything Ibrahim said.
I was crying.
"Don't cry dear", she said. 
I wished I never messaged him. I'm not going to meet him, I said. "Hmmmm I understand dear but still try and go at least to make him know that you know the truth now about him", she said. Will you shut up! I yelled at her crying.
 She stayed back a bit and later came closer to me and wiped my tears with an hanky. 

After so much persuasion from Joyce, I picked up courage to go see him. Joyce was happy.
 I checked my WhatsApp he  sent the venue of where we  were to meet again and  the time. I replied him. He was online he replied back. I entered my car and headed there.


PART 14
MY PAINS
©  PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

I entered my car and headed there.

 There were two gates to enter the place I drove to the one closer to me, because the gates were still a bit far from each other, the place was very big. On getting to the gate a  security man opened the gate, I drove in and parked. I brought out my phone and messaged him, that I was there already. 
"What are you on, baby?" He asked.
Am on a red top and a black jean. I replied. 
"Ok baby have seen you now, just wait there?" He said.
 Alright, I replied, waiting for him to come.
 I lifted up my head I saw him coming, my heart was beating very fast on seeing him. I couldn't stand seeing him. The pains came back again. Oh no, Joyce u caused all this, why did I even agree to come, I asked  myself. Before, he got to where I was, I entered my car and drove out. 
 I had not driven up to ten minutes when I saw another car coming in front of me. Jesus! What's this? Who the hell is driving like this. The car was in front of mine. I got down from my car, i was ready to shout on the person. First a guy came down from the car, I waited for the one on the driver's sit to come down. Lo and behold it was Ibrahim. He must have used the second exist.
Oh no, not again. I said to myself. He came closer to me, he wasn't even surprised. He walked closer to me.
 "Baby, have really missed you so much, please don't go away this time," he said.
 Get away from me! Do I look like the lady you want to meet today? I asked him.
 "Baby, i am sorry please, I knew you were the one. You played pranks on me and I decided to play along too, please. I was surprised. How did you know? I asked. "Baby I will let you know later please" he said. I couldn't hold back my tears as they were just pouring heavily from my eyes. "Have missed you so much darling.
He lifted me up and hugged me tightly to himself. " Darling, I know I have wronged you also but it wasn't my fault, I was going through pains also, I just needed time to think straight. I got drunk many times out there because of what happened, since your mom sent me away that I can never marry you. I called you later more than a thousands of times, but your line wasn't reachable again." He was on his kneels at this time.
"Baby I'm so sorry, please just forget all that happened, please."
 Get out of me! I said. 
I wanted to walk away but he got up and held my hands. 
"Am not going to let you go this time around, am ready to fight through for you. You the one I want in my life and no other lady." 
 For the very first time in my life I saw tears filled up in his eyes. He was a very strong guy who I couldn't imagine could cry one day. At this time the love song we do listen to was started  playing from his car, after a song finished playing. I started flashing back. I felt the pains harder more in my heart. At this time tears were dripping from his eyes. With the tears in his eyes and the song I couldn't say no to him, I hugged him, and he hugged me back tightly to himself for minutes. After a while he spoke. "Baby, let's go to my house, we have created enough scene here. 
 What about my car?. I asked pointing to my car. 
"My friend will drive it to our house." He called his friend, he came, he took my car key spoke to his friend and  gave him the key. He held my hand to his car, he opened the door and I entered. I looked  around, he had bought a   new car.
 "Baby" he said. Yeah, I replied. He held my hands. 
"I love you." He took a tissue paper from his car  wiped my tears, and kissed me on the lips. 
"I missed you so much."
 I missed you too. I didn't know when I said that. "You are part of the reason where I'm today, I can't let you go."
 I  smiled. He started the car to drive off. His friend had driven off immediately with my car. "Baby I actually bought this car for you." I was surprised.
 "Yeah, I wanted to use it to come say I was sorry to you later, but I kept on calling your number it never went through, I didn't want to come to your parents house, I didn't want to cause your mom any problem. I went through hell but that's a story for another time."
 I was crying again as I remembered how my mom had treated him. "Yeah, you don't have to cry, I don't feel okay at all when I see cry, you are part of me", he said, as he wiped my tears away again.
 
When we got to his house, his gate man opened his gate and he drove in. He locked the gate quickly and ran after the car. "What is it?"He asked the gateman. 
"Noting oga o just find me something as your boy na," the gateman said. He took his wallet and gave him three thousand naira. 
"Am just in a better mood today, don't know when you will stop asking for money, upon the salary I still give to you monthly." "Ha oga thank you very much, almighty Allah go bless you die, he go give you better woman when u go marry oga", the gateman said. I  opened the door and came down from the car. The gate man was amazed on seeing me. 
"Oga abeg no vex o na ur wife be this?" 
"Yes, she is my wife." 
"Ha oga first time o, at last she fine fine oo. Madam I dey greet you o."
 I waved at him smiling. Why did you change your gate man? that's not the one I knew before. "Story for another day, baby." He said.
 
We walked in. He gave me his keys to open the door myself and I did. He had changed his furniture and everywhere was repainted. It was more beautiful than ever.
"You like it?" He asked.
 Yes, it's really nice. 
"Well a very good friend of mine got married 3months ago he had noting in his living room, when i went to pay them a visit, so I decided to give him the furniture, and I ordered for new ones, they persuaded me to also repaint the living room to fit in with the new furniture."  

He held my hands and we walked up to his room. I saw a picture of me and him in a glass frame placed beside his bed. We took that picture a year ago.
 "So baby what would you love to eat? Let me tell my maid to prepare it for you." 
 Noting now I'm not hungry now. "Well you the wife of this house, you can always go in to the kitchen to cook."
I smiled. 
Your place has really changed, I will be back I want to see everywhere again." I said. 
"Ok baby, don't waste time."
 I was about entering the kitchen when I heard a female's voice.
 "Who you be, wetin u dey do here?"
 I was shocked, I turned back. 
"You no fit talk, see as you dey look me for face you no even fear." Hey! I said.
 "How you take enter this house with the security when dey for gate you b witch o." She said. 
"Thief o, thief o, thief o, oga come o."
Ibrahim came down the stairs to the living room. 
"What's going on?" He asked, looking confused.
"Oga  I no know where she for come from o I just see her dey won enter kitchen na he I shout thief o."
 I was just looking at the drama she was creating, she must be good at acting, I said to myself. 
"Hey! Kate!" he yelled at her.
 She was shocked. 
"What kind of names did you just call her! She is my wife and not a thief ok! I'm sick and tired of the way you behave most times! What the hell is wrong with you Kate!  he yelled at her angrily.
  She went on her kneels begging.
"Haaaaaa oga abeg I use Allah take beg you, I use my life beg you abeg no vex I no know say na your wife be that no wonder since  I dey this house I never see any woman come this house that na why I surprise when I see her.  Oga I for don reason am say you done marry because I dey always wonder say why man when fine and get plenty money like you no go get many fine girls around am, I no know say u done marry say na your wife be that." " "Kate get out of here now! he yelled at her angrily the more. She turned to me. "Madam abeg no vex , abeg, abeg you get good husband o since you no dey he no carry any girl come this house o  madam abeg if you sack me I go just die madam you look like Igbo..biko biko I use chineke beg you." 
I started laughing at that point.  Just go, go go, I said. She got up smiling. 
"Madam oga thank you o", she said, walking away.
 Gosh, I said laughing. Where did you get her from? What about your other maid I knew? 
 "My mummy sent her away the day she came, she was dressing half nude that day. And my mom brought that crazy human being here. I'm sorry for that baby."
 No need, very crazy indeed I said laughing.

We went back to his room.
As we were talking, he kept on saying ..
"I love you baby" looking directly into my eyes.
Lo and behold, he noticed Abel engagement ring on my finger.


PART 15
MY PAINS

Lo and behold, he noticed Abel's engagement ring on my finger.

It was different from the one he used to propose to me. Abel's ring was expensive, but Ibrahim's ring was more expensive. 

"Who gave you that!?" He asked, with seriousness, looking at my finger.
What? I asked pretending not to know what he was asking about.
"That ring on your finger."
 Oh really..hmmmm.. I was thinking of what to say. 
It's just a ring, I bought it.
"Wow, you bought it, let me have it!" He said, about to remove the ring on my finger, I withdrew my hand, and shifted back.
What will I tell Abel, if he takes the ring, he knows well it's an engagement ring, I thought to myself. 
"Give it to me now!" He yelled at me. 
At this time, the anger in him was so much I felt like ohe was going to raise his hands on me. He is tall and a bit huge. 
"I never expected this from you at all, just months we were both away, you are already engaged to another guy." Tears started to roll down my eyes when he made that statement. I didn't know what to say.
"I never neared another lady all the time you were away, there were many who came after me, I can't count the numbers of times I called your number later on, that it wasn't going through. I went through hell those times because of you. I can't start explaining all I went through now, all because of you!" He yelled at me, at this time tears had covered my whole face.
"We made a promise we were going to fight through, even if both parents were against our religion, I never had issue with you being a Christian even many times you turned down dates we were to go for, all because you had to attend church programs almost all times, saying you are a worker. Who knows if you haven't been with him since we had been  together, of course you have, because no guy will propose to you immediately, you two must have been in a relationship for a long time. You cheated on me! And you call yourself a Christian." 
I was still crying, I didn't know what to say. 
I...I..I..am so sorry, please forgive me, it's not the way you see it, I said crying.
He didn't answer me, he just sat down on the bed and covered his uface with his hands. I sat down on the floor, my back relaxed on the wall, I was crying and confused. My parent had accepted Abel and his parent had accepted me already, I thought to myself.

After a while, my phone rang,  It was on his bed. We both turned to look at my phone.
 It showed "Mine" on the screen was calling. "Mine" was what I used to save Abel's number.
Ibrahim got up, looking at me.

PART 16
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

Ibrahim got up, looking at me.

"He is the one, he said. 
I was shaking. "Go ahead and answer him, i can see now." 
I fearfully picked up the call. "Where are you now?" Abel asked. 
I kept mute I didn't know what to say as Ibrahim was there. 
"So this is what you have been doing, you have been playing on my feelings, you disappointed me! I really don't know what to say, you have broken my heart. I never expected such from you. My heart is broken right now.
We are done!" He yelled angrily and hanged up before I could say a word. 
I was confused and crying, I didn't understand what was going on. What have I done to Abel? I asked to myself. 
I felt the pains again. I came online on WhatsApp to check if he sent any message to me because I couldn't understand why he said all that. I saw messages from him, I clicked on it. I saw different pictures of me and Ibrahim when we were still dating, and a picture of me and Ibrahim when we just got into his living room, we were so close in the picture and his lips were on mine. I read his message saying...
" _This is a picture of where  you are today, you can't deny it, that was the same hairdo I saw you with two days ago when you just fixed your hair. So you had been cheating on me. I thank God I now know the truth."_ Who could have done this, who could have sent the pictures to him? I asked my myself, as I was so surprised.
 I was about to reply him when I noticed he had blocked me already. My hands were shaking terribly, I tried to call him, but my phone fell of my hands and the screen got smashed. 
 Haaaaaaaaaa! No! no! no! Who did this???? I screamed out as tears rolled down my face.
"What is wrong with you?" Ibrahim asked, confused.
At that moment the pains in me was excess. 
"Are you okay? What's wrong? What happened?" He asked again.
I couldn't explain how I felt at that moment. I removed the ring on my finger and throw it in his room, angrily. He was just watching me, looking very surprised.
So you set me up, so you set me up. I said to him, crying.  
"I don't understand what you are talking about." 
At that time my head was filled with so much pains, I felt so much pains in my chest, like it was going to divide into two.

I didn't know what happened to me I woke up and found myself on the hospital bed. Ibrahim sat beside me. 

"What happened to me? I asked him. 
"Baby, you fainted and I had to rush you to the hospital. What is wrong? Talk to me, what is happening?" 
I didn't say a word. I kept mute.
He got food for me to eat, he sat down and fed me and I ate. As he was feeding me my mind flashed back to the time I was in the university I was sick on that day, he got food for me when coming and fed me on that day. 
He kept questioning me about what happened, but I didn't answer him.

"I'm happy you are fine now baby, I want to get something I will be back okay", he said and kissed me on my lips.

The next day I was discharged. I entered his car, and he drove off to his house. When we got to in, I felt so weak to climb the stairs to go up to his room. I guess he noticed that. He carried me, we got to his room and he laid me on his bed. He sat bedside me. 
"Do you want anything?" He asked me, but I didn't answer him.


PART 17
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

"Do you want anything?" He asked me, but I didn't answer him.
 
Oh Lord, why is all this happening? What have I done to deserve all this?  I never hurt anyone. Why do I get hurt? I don't just understand this life. Who could have sent Abel the pictures? Who is doing all this to me? No.. It can't be Ibrahim, he doesn't know Abel at all. I saw the surprise and confused sincere look on his face, when I told him he was the one who set  me up, so he couldn't be the one, no!  Kazeem my husband's cousin was around when I came in with Ibrahim, but he couldn't be the one at all, who sent those pictures to him, i thought to myself.
Where will I start from? What if Ibrahim doesn't want me anymore after all this. What will I tell my mom? I asked myself, crying so bitterly. The pains were just too much.
 
My phone started ringing, it was my mom. I cleaned my face and cleared my throat, so she wouldn't notice I was crying, before, I could say "hello" she she spoke. "So you have still be going out with that Ibrahim! Have heard everything..." Before she could complete her statement I hanged up. I managed to type to her, that I was in my house, so she won't be worried of me. I wasn't ready to discuss any issue with her. I had a house of mine, but I hardly live in my house, because I always felt lonely living alone. So most times I still stayed with my family. 

I need a new phone. I said to myself, as I looked at my phone screen that got smashed.

Just then Ibrahim came in. 
"Are you sure you are ok? Why you still crying?" He asked. 
I didn't answer him. 
He walked to his wardrobe and brought out a pink nylon, something was in it but I didn't bother to look.
"Have it baby, it's yours", he said handing over a new phone to me. I bought it for you yesterday, when i left the hospital."  It was a new Samsung phone, the latest samsung phone at that time. This must have cost him a lot. I said in my mind. 
"Your phone screen got broken yesterday, and I felt you needed a new one, have it."  I just kept on looking  at him.
He removed my sim from my phone, inserted it into the new phone and plugged it to charge, and left. I managed to get up to call Abel, I called him twice he didn't answer, the third time I tried calling, he had blacklisted my number. Tears rolled down my face again.

I went back to lay on the bed. Where do I start from now? I love Ibrahim but my mom will never, never let me marry him. Why did I fall in love with a Muslim? why? why? why? I think it's time I fight for love, I have to fight, he loves me too. I said to myself, crying.

Later Ibrahim came in. He fed me, and gave me my drugs. My conscience wasn't at rest.

Two hours later, I had regained strength a bit. I went to the living room, he was sitting, concentrating on his phone.
"How you feeling now?" He asked. I'm fine, I answered. 
"I can see that." 

We kept mute for a while, looking at me before he broke the silence. "What is wrong?" He asked.
 I want to tell you something. 
He looked at me seriously. 
"Go ahead", he said.
I told him I had not been cheating on him, I told him how me  Abel met. I also told him he called to tell me it was over. I didn't tell him about the pictures that was sent to Abel.
I'm sorry, am sorry, I said crying.

He kept mute for a while. I kept on weeping. He walked up to me and hugged me.

In some few hours, we were so happy again.

Later in the night, we were in his room. He had me tightly to himself, telling me how much he loved me. 

Later we started kissing, his hand went to my boos, he put off my top. 
He later removed my trouser and all I was on. To cut off that, I thought it was just the kind of normal oral sex we had always been having. Because, back then when he  knew I was still a virgin, he promised not to have sex with me, till when my mind was made up for it.
But that night was different, we both had sex. I couldn't tell if I was enjoying it or not, I was feeling pains also. At a time I felt so weak. Stop, stop, please, I said, but he didn't.

When I woke up in the morning, my mind flashed back to what happened last night. I felt so ashamed of myself. My dream of keeping myself till my wedding night didn't come true, the dream of raising a godly home in Christ, never seemed like it was coming true. I sat on his bed crying. He woke up, and asked me what was wrong.
 Don't you touch me! I yelled at him. 
"What did I do?"  He got up coming closer to me, I raised up my hand and slapped him hard.
I took my car key on his table and left. I was driving home, when I later realized my mom would me very mad on seeing me, I reversed and drove to my house. Those who saw me greeted me. "Wow, long time o." I managed to reply them smiling. When I got in, I looked around my sitting room and walked into my bedroom. I saw a picture of me and him on my bed. It was the same picture I saw in his room. I wanted to take the picture and destroy it, but something stopped me. I sat on my bed crying. He kept calling me, I switched off my phone.

A week and two days later, I started feeling  sick. My mind flashed back to what happened. Could, it be I am pregnant? I asked myself in fear with my two hands on my stomach, crying. Oh no! I can't have a child out of marriage, what will my parent say? What if he later leaves me if I'm pregnant? I asked myself crying. I decided to go for a check up. I took my car key and headed to my car. 
I'm ready to commit abortion immediately if I discover I'm pregnant. I said in my mind, crying.

I got to the hospital, a test was carried on me, i waited patiently.
The doctor came with the reports. I was ready for an abortion immediately if I were to be pregnant. I kept looking at the doctor as he was about to sit down, to tell me what was wrong with me.  I was shaking already.


PART 18
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

I was shaking.

 Joy filled my heart so much, when the doctor said I had malaria. He gave me some drugs and I left happily.
 "Oh, thank you Jesus, I said as I drove back home.

For days my phone was off, I only put it on when I wanted to text my mom, so she will know I'm fine and she won't be bothered. I talked to my siblings and dad sometimes on the phone. After all that I switch off my phone so Ibrahim won't be able to reach me. I was missing my family but I couldn't go home. I wasn't ready to face my mom, concerning Abel and Ibrahim issues.

Few weeks later, I found myself at Ibrahim's house again. I had missed him so much. 
" Madam, welcome o! Oga your wife done come back ooo!", the gateman shouted.
 "Madam welcome o, oga done miss you like mad ehnnn, ha, his maid said. This crazy maid again, I said in my mind, laughing out.
Ibrahim, came out of his house. We kept looking at each other for about twenty minutes. Tears were already dripping from my eyes.
I'm sorry, I said.
"It's ok." 
 We both went in.

 "Promise me you won't leave me again."
 I promise from my heart no matter what happens, I won't leave you, I said drying.
He hugged me tightly. We were back again.

Later in the evening, I was about leaving.

  "Don't tell me you are about leaving?" He asked. 
I'm dear, it's getting late, I didn't plan on staying till the next day." 
 "I don't care o, you are not going o."
 Ibrahim, hates when I don't listen to him, and I wasn't ready to annoy him, so I agreed on staying. 
"In fact you will be staying with me okay, we will go and pack your things tomorrow, ok." 
 Ok ooo, i said, laughing.

 Some of my things in my house and in my parent's house also. Just like I divided them.

The next day, he drove to my house. We both parked my things in his car. When we were done we left Immediately.

When we got home, I started feeling somehow. It started  getting worse.
 "Baby, are you ok?" He asked. Yes dear, the doctor said I had malaria, few weeks ago when I went to the hospital, I guess the malaria is back again, because I didn't use all my drugs,  I stopped it half way when I felt better. I said. 
"I think, you should go for a check up again baby." 
 No sweetheart, I will be fine. 
"You sure baby?" He asked.
 Yes dear, I replied smiling.
"I love so much, baby." 
I love you more, I said laughing. "See her mouth", he said jokingly. Like yours na,y I replied jokingly.
We both laughed over it.

The next morning, I was still feeling the same way.

"Baby, I think we should go see my family doctor."  
No dear, not your family doctor. 
"Ok, let's go to the hospital near us here, I don't like the way you are at all."
 I'm not going anywhere okay, I will be fine.
"Get up, we are going now weather you like it or not", he said, pulling me up.
Leave me! Leave me, I shouted at him, but he carried me into his car, locked the door and drove to the hospital.
 
He introduced me to the doctor as his wife. The doctor asked me how I was feeling, I explained how I was feeling to him. A test was carried out, we waited patiently for the result.
"Congratulation Sir, your wife is one month pregnant", the doctor said. 
I was shocked, the doctor noticed it I couldn't hide it, I started crying.
"Wow! Great", Ibrahim said.
"Yeah, but madam why did you get shocked and why are you crying?" The doctor asked me, looking concerned.
Oh, doctor noting, I replied him. "You can't say noting ma'am, there is something, may I know the reason?" The doctor asked me.
 Ibrahim was just looking at me, the doctor was focused on me, seriously, he was very curious to know. 
Well, actually doctor, since i and my husband got married for two years now, we had been trusting God for a baby, so I was shocked to know I'm pregnant. They are just tears of joy doctor." I lied just to cover up, whipping my tears with my hand.
"Oh wow! That's great! God is good. I'm happy for both of you.  So you need to start coming for antenatal." The doctor said. 
He gave me some drugs.
We both left smiling. I faked my smile, I didn't know about Ibrahim.

We were on our way home. " Wow, (laughing)hahahahaha! So I will soon become a father", Ibrahim said happily with pride.
And you are happy, Ibrahim? I asked. "Hahahaha(laughing) of course baby."
 Please, watch well there is a car coming in front. He turned his face from me, looking at the front.
You so excited, do you know we are not married? I asked him. 
"Fuck that baby, who cares?" 

At this time I was crying, I never wanted a child before marriage. What will I tell my parents especially my mom who was really against him. 
He looked at my face smiling. " You don't need to cry baby", he said wiping my tears with his hands.
And you think I'm going to keep this baby? I asked  him. 
"Hahahaha (laughing) you must be joking baby."
 I'm not okay! Who knows if this was actually your plan, for me to get pregnant?" I asked him crying.
 He didn't answer, he kept on driving.
Ibrahim, I am not keeping this baby, you just came back to ruin my life! I yelled at him crying.
 I'm going for an abortion.
"Keep shut ok! You know you can't try such."
 And who says I can't? it's my body and not yours.
"(laughing) hahahahah, you know abortion is against the law?" He asked.
 And so! I replied him angrily.
 "I'm lawyer baby, if you try it I will sue to court and I mean it, and i will win the case you know that."

I knew he wasn't joking with the way he said it with all seriousness.


PART 19
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

I knew he wasn't joking, with the way he said it with all seriousness.

When got home, after about two hours, I told him I would be leaving the next day. 
"You are not going anywhere", he said.
 I didn't say a word.

The next day, he left for an official work, he was called by one of his clients, as he told me.

I left his house, to go search for a good hospital that will help me for an abortion. I went to different good hospitals, but they kept saying they can't do such, abortion is against the law. One of the hospitals I went to, the doctor was preaching to me not to commit an abortion, I got up and walked out angrily.

I still kept on driving and I saw another hospital, I drove in and parked. I walked in, and I saw the word "Abortion" written on top of the wall just above the door to enter. I entered, I saw a woman seated, i greeted the woman, and told her what I came for. She spoke to me, advising me first but I wasn't listening to her. She told me to think about what I was about to do well before coming the next day. That was their procedure.

 Oh gosh! no! I just want this done now!, I said. "I'm sorry ma, but you have to come the next day, have this form to fill it's one thousand five hundred, the woman said. 
I opened my bag brought out the money and gave it to her. I filled the form for an abortion. I left angrily, I wanted to still go in search for another hospital, but I was too tired. I decided to go home, but there was no need Ibrahim will still come to my house to look for me and I didn't want to go to my parent's house. So I drove back to his house.
As I was driving, my mind kept telling me, "Abortion is a sin, thou shall not commit murder. It kept on disturbing me. I almost ran mad, as I wasn't myself hearing those words. 

When I got to his house, I walked up to his room and sat on his bed crying. I wished I never followed him back that day. what if i die during the abortion? I asked myself, thinking.
Many things were running through my mind. 
 Oh, Lord help me! I'm sorry. I said, crying.

In the evening he was back. I pretend to be happy, so he won't know my mind was still made up for an abortion.  Welcome sweetheart, how did everything go? I asked smiling. 
He was surprised my mood had changed. 
"It went well baby, how is my baby doing?" He asked. Thank God it went well, baby is good. 
He kissed me on my cheek.

 I prepared dinner. 
Dear, dinner is ready, I said from the kitchen.
 "Wow, that's nice, serve it now baby, I want to eat." 
Go and take your bath jhoor, I said jokingly. We laughed and he left to his room, to do so.

After dinner, we were in the sitting room watching, "MTV BASE" that was his favorite channel and mine too, so we had no problem fighting over the remote to change a TV  channel.
He sat down, i rested my head on his lap, he was touching my hair.
"I'm happy your mood has changed, baby." 
 Yeah, I said laughing. 
Have decided to keep the baby. "Wow, our baby not the baby." Whatever, I said. "I'm so happy you changed your mind baby, that's why I love you", he said kissing me. 
Only if he knew my plan, I will commit an abortion and leave your house tomorrow, I said in my mind, as I smiled.

"My gateman, told me you went out today, where did you go to.
Oh no, I said in my mind. 
Yes dear, I went to search for a good hospital, I will be going for antenatal. I didn't want any near hospital, I said to him. 
"Oh wow, so which hospital did you find, and what's the name?" He asked.  I told him the name and the place. 
"Hmmm, ok",he said, with is eyes fixed on me. Why the hmm don't you believe me? Why are you looking at me, like that? I asked him.
 "Noting, how am i looking at you? Of course, I trust you baby", he said smiling.

We talked about a lot of things, before we went to bed.

It was 5:06am in the next day in the morning. Ibrahim,was awake. 

Where are you going to, why are you up this early? I asked him. "Sorry baby, I forgot to tell you, I have something very, very  important to do this morning."
I'm sure it involves a big amount of money, I said smiling. 
He just laughed. Mr lawyer, i said jokingly. "Lawyer's wife, he replied.
 We both laughed.

Dear, I'm feeling somehow I want to go for a check up today. 
"What's wrong with you? are you ok? He asked. 
It's noting  serious dear, just want to go for a check up. 
"What time will you be leaving? Should I call my driver, to drive you there?" 
No dear, no need, I will drive, I will be leaving around one or two, I said. "Ok baby take care of yourself well, don't let anything happen to my baby, he said and kissed me on my cheek.
 His last statement hit me hard. 
By 6:02am he had left already. I went back to sleep.

I woke up at 9:15am. I had my bath and ate. By 1:15pm, I left the house to the hospital. When I got to the hospital, I packed my car, and headed in. 
"Abortion is a sin, thou shall not commit murder." My mind kept on reminding me. Fear filled me. No, no, no I can't keep this baby, I can't have a child when I'm not married. What will my church members say, sometimes I preached about immortality in church. What will my parent say, especially my mom if she gets to know I'm pregnant, for Ibrahim, I said in my mind crying.
 "Don't let anything happen to my baby." I recalled his statement, and it hit me so hard again.
 I decided to turn back. 
No, no, no, I said and turned back. I cleaned my face and walked in.

 Good morning, ma, I said. 
"Good morning", have your seat. How may I help you?" She asked.

 She was the one I saw yesterday, well I didn't get surprised, she sees a lot of faces every day.

 I'm the one who came for an abortion, yesterday ma. "Did you fill the form?" She asked.
 Yes, I did. 
"Ok, what's your name? She asked and I told her my name.
 She searched some files and brought out the form I filled. She kept on looking at the form I filled.
 Please, be fast let me leave here jare. After today, I will leave his house, to somewhere else, may be stay in an hotel before I find another house, so he won't know my whereabout. I Will just message him on WhatsApp and tell him I'm sorry I did an abortion, I  didn't want to have a child before marriage, I said in my mind, as I kept on looking at the woman, who was seriously concentrating on the form I filled.

The woman
 spoke. 

"I'm very sorry, we can't do this abortion for you." Why? I asked angrily. 
"A letter from court came to us this morning, with your name on it saying if we go ahead with the act of abortion, our hospital will be sued to court for an illegal act. Abortion is against the law, you know? We just try to help here,
 She said. 
Wow! No! I yelled out crying. 
"I'm so sorry, we can't let such happen."

 I walked out crying, I knew it was Ibrahim, but who would have done that.

 Did he see me, did anyone see me and tell him? I asked myself crying.

I entered my car, and drove out of the hospital, when I heard someone call my name.
I wined down my glass to see who it was clearly.
 Lo and behold....

PART 20
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

Lo and behold.

 it was Ibrahim. 
Oh my God! I screamed in my mind. 
I was about to speed off to leave, when another car drove to my front. 
Oh, no! I screamed. 
I got down from my car. Ibrahim, walked up to me, and forced my car key from my hand. He went to the person who drove in front of me, they talked  for like two minutes, and the person drove.

 "Get in, I will drive", Ibrahim said. 
I stood still looking at him, tears were dripping from my eyes. He pulled me inside my car, and closed the door. He entered and drove off. 

I was sweating, even with the AC that was on in the car. 
"(Laughing) hahahahah, why you sweating baby? And how was your day at the hospital? hope you feeling okay now?"  He asked.
 I didn't say a word.

When we got home, we both sat down in the living room, we kept mute for a while before I spoke.

Ibrahim, what the hell did you do! I screamed loudly at him in anger, I was shaking and crying. 
"What did I do?" He asked.
 You know what you did ok! I said. "I do a lot of things everyday, baby, so what  exactly did I do?" He asked. 
Stop the pretence ok!!! I yelled at him. 
"If you can't tell me what I did, then stop shouting at me."  What did you send to the hospital? I asked. "(Laughing) hahahahaha, what latter did you send to the hospital", he repeated what I said laughing.
"Am a lawyer, baby." 
 And so! I said crying. 
 He stood up. "You thought you were smarter, hahaha, my friend Jide, saw you at the hospital, he told me everything. He was the one I spoke to, at the hospital before he left."

 Oh no, Jide was his friend I met two years ago.

"You lied to me, you lied about everything. I know you to be smart, but you can't be smarter than I'm. I won't say a word to you, he said and left to his room.
I sat down crying. Oh Lord! I never imagined my life to be this way, the pains are too much for me to bear.

For three days, we didn't speak to each other, he just kept on watching me.

___________

"Will you stop crying all the time, I don't love to see you cry baby, consider our baby too. I know things are not working out as we imagined it to be, but please remember we promised each other then, we were going to fight through even if both parents were against our religion.
My mind flashed back to the day we made that promise, I was still in the university then, in my 200 level.

 "Baby please forgive me, I can't let you abort my first unborn child. Please baby, he said on his kneels, wiping my tears with his hands. 
"I understand how you feel all the time, you don't just consider how I feel at all, that's why you react like that most times. Baby please, don't leave me and don't abort our unborn child. You  have added so much positive influence in me right from the day I met you. I love you. We will scale through baby, I know, just like the way you always tell me  "the impossible is possible" baby don't give up now. I know you to be very strong, let's just endure this. Please." 
I was still crying. He stood up, hugged me and wiped my tears. 

"Let's go out and have dinner. I agreed and we both left. He drove to a very far nice eatery. We had dinner there.

The next day, I was sitting in the living room, he walked up to me.
" Baby, I have something to tell you." 
 Go ahead. I said. "I told my parent you are pregnant." You did what..?? I asked him. 
Oh no what was his mom going to do since she didn't like the fact I was a Christian, although I pretended to be a muslim, she later got to know the truth  later, she hated the fact I was a Christian.

 Oh no! what will happen now? I asked myself in fear.


PART 21
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

I asked myself in fear.
 
"And she wants you to come stay with her for the time being", he said. 
I'm not going anywhere. I said.
"Please baby, she will be here tomorrow."
 What! I yelled out. 
"Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier", he said looking at me.
I was confused on what to say.
"Yeah, she wants to have  her grandchild around her, remember am her only son."

She wanted a grandchildren around her, because Ibrahim's elder sister lived over seas, and she visits Nigeria once  in a year. Have met her twice. Her husband’s mom does not allow her to take her grandchildren to Nigeria, saying Nigeria is a bad country. She only came with her children once to Nigeria, I guess that's why she was happy to accept me, so she could have a grand child she could see most times. She loved kids,  I thought in my mind.

The next day, Ibrahim's mom came. I greeted her, she hugged me happily. 

I prepared food, and the three of us.
 "Wow, you are really a good cook, omo to da", his mom said, smiling.
 Thank you ma, I said smiling also.
"Yeah, she's a good cook mom, I knew that the first day I came to her house she cooked for me, when we were still in the university", Ibrahim said smiling. 
His mom laughed. 
I flashed back to the first day he came to my house when we were still in the university.

Why are you looking at me like that? I asked him. "Remembering, how you looked then in the university, you looked far younger then, but now you are getting old", he said jokingly. 
If I'm old, then what are you? Am not old I'm still in my 20s ok, I said jokingly. 
We all laughed over it.

His mom slept over in his house till the next day.

In the morning, we had break fast. We were ready to leave. My things were being packed in his mom's car.

 Her driver was in the car already, his mom sat in front, me and Ibrahim sat at the back. 
As we kept going, I was very calm I didn't say a word.  I didn't know what to do anymore. A lot of things were running through my mind. 
When I came back to myself, after being deep in my thoughts I sighed, Ibrahim asked me what was wrong.
 I'm fine, I said faintly. 
His mom turned back and notice I was feeling cold. "Kiloshele", she asked. 
She instructed the driver to put off the AC, and whine  down the glass, the driver did as he was told. 
"Why didn't you talk that you are feeling cold?" She asked.
 I'm sorry ma, I replied. 
She turned to her front. Ibrahim, kept on looking at me, I'm sure he didn't like the way I was behaving. I kept looking out the window as we were going, a lot of things were running through my mind. The pregnancy had caged me down. I wished I could just use my hands to remove it from my stomach, I would have been so happy again. Tears kept dripping from my eyes, but I whipped it off immediately so they won't notice.

When we got to his house, I was welcomed by his dad.

Food was served, we all ate happily. Although, I was pretending to be happy.

At night we were to sleep in his room in his parent's house.
Please, we can't sleep in the same room, go and sleep in another room, I said to him. He didn't say a word, he just left. I knew he was angry but I didn't care.

The next day in the afternoon, around 3:15pm, his mom called both of us. His dad wasn't at home.
I came first, then he came and sat beside me. I looked at him angrily. Why didn't he sit else where? I asked myself angrily. 
He knew I was angry he just looked at me and turned his face.
"Dear, I'm happy things are now working fine between you and my son. Mummy's pet, I said in my mind looking at him angrily, but I didn't show it.
His mom loved his so much ehnn. 
"And I think you should let your parents know also, as you know your parents have to be in agreement for both of you marriage soon", his mom said. Marriage, oh Lord, I said in my mind.
She kept on talking but I wasn't listening, my mind was far away. How will I tell my mom? I asked myself as I cried in my mind.

"It's almost time for prayer, let's start leaving", his mom said. 
I  still sat down, Ibrahim and his mom got up. "Dear, what's wrong? Are you not going with us?" His mom asked. 
I looked at her surprised,  I  also looked at Ibrahim surprised, as he wasn't saying anything. She saw the surprise look on my face. "But you agreed with my son before coming, that you will convert to a Muslim", his mom said. 
I looked at Ibrahim surprised. Oh no this can't be. I am sure Ibrahim didn't tell that, because he knew I would have refused to come. 
 "So why are you surprised?" His mom asked. 
I pretended like Ibrahim had told me. 
No ma, not that, i was just surprised it's time already. 
"Ok my dear, let's go now", she threw an hijab at me."  
We were heading to the car to go to the mosque. 
No, no Lord Jesus I can't go to the mosque. I can't forsake you Jesus! I said in mind crying.
"Why are you still waiting?" His mom asked. 
I raised up my face, to look at her.


PART 22
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

I raised up face, to look at her.

In order not to create another problem, I decided to go. I looked at the hijab, she just bought it, because it looked new and neat. 

Me and Ibrahim both looked at each other.
Oh! No oh Lord! I love you Jesus. I said in my mind as I entered the car.
 Tears were dripping from my eyes, i whipped of my tears immediately, so they won't notice I was crying. The pains were just too much.

We finally got the mosque and came down from the car.
Seeing the mosque, it was very big I felt like turning back. 
"Things are beginning to work well, don't destroy things now", Ibrahim whispered in my ear.
 After all was done, we were heading to the entrance, to enter the mosque, fear filled me. I saw they all pulled off their foot wears, but I couldn't pull mine, as a Christian we are not to pull our foot wears before entering any place, any place such was done we saw such as being diabolic. 

"You have to pull off your sandal", his mom said pointing at my sandal. 
I couldn't disobey her, i pulled it off slowly. I was about putting my leg in, I took it back, i did that like up to three times.  I held my two hands to myself looking all around in fear. 
Oh Lord I'm sorry forgive me, I prayed in my mind almost crying. I wished I could just run away. His mom looked at my face angrily. I walked in. 
Oh no, what are they doing? What do I even know they are saying, I asked my self in fear.

I managed to do as they did. Some looked at me strangely, especially the children some didn't even concentrate well they kept on looking at me as I was acting weird. I acted weird truly, as I didn't know all what they were doing at all.

After it was over I came out. I pulled off the hijab immediately and folded it so it will look smaller, I held it in my hand so no one would even notice it  was an hijab.

 Lo and behold, I saw sister Adejoke.  I noticed when I was still attending church services, for  months I didn't see sister Adejoke. Sister Adejoke was the sisters' coordinator. I didn't bother asking about her when I didn't see her, as I had a lot going through at that time. 

Sister Adejoke! I called her.
 She looked back surprised, she walked up to me and hugged me. She was on a longer hijab. What are you doing here?  I asked her, surprised.
 "Have converted into a muslim, since I got married to a Muslim and in order not to have problems with my husband and his family, I decided to convert o", she said. 
Wow! I said in surprise. 
"After all it's still the same God we are serving o", she said. 
Oh no, so Sister Adejoke, has forsaken Christ. I said in my mind. We both exchanged contacts, her husband was calling her so she left immediately,
she didn't even bother asking me, why I was there also. 
 Thank God she didn't, I said in my mind.

Ibrahim, and his mom were waiting for me already. 

"Who was that?" Ibrahim asked. Who? I asked, i pretended not to know. 
"Who you just spoke to." 
A friend, i said, as I wasn't ready to talk to him. "Where did you know her from?" He asked. 
I looked at his face angrily, I didn't answer him.

When we got home, his mom went in, me and Ibrahim stood in the veranda. 
So that was your mom plan and you never told me, Ibrahim, i said crying. 
He didn't say a word, he kept on looking at me. Are you not the one I'm talking to! I yelled at him angrily, crying.
 He still didn't say a word. I will get out of here, and no one would know, I said to him and walked away angrily.

In the night. His mom knocked my door, I ran to the bathroom washed my face with water and dried my face quickly with a towel, so she won't notice I had been crying. I opened the door and she came in and handed over  a Quran to me. Oh no Lord Jesus, I said in my mind. My hands were shaking as I collected the Quran from her, it was my first time touching a Quran. She spoke to me and left, I locked my door. I opened the Quran, I didn't even know anything that was in it. 
Lord I'm sorry, forgive me, I said. I throw the Quran angrily in the room, I took my Bible from my bag and
sat down on the floor, crying. 

I slept very late as I had a lot running through my mind.

The next morning, I woke up very late at 10:45am i prayed,I asked God for forgiveness so much, crying.

After praying I got up to open my curtains like I always did when I woke up.
Lo and behold, when I looked down from my window, I saw some security guards guarding the place, they were mobile policemen. I was so surprised. What could be happening? I asked my self. Without brushing my teeth, I ran down the stairs to the living room, to know what was going on.


PART 23
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

I ran down the stairs to the living room, to know what was going on.

 I saw Ibrahim, seated comfortably in the living room watching TV. I looked at him, with a questioned  face. He got up and walked closer to me.
"You can't run away without anyone knowing now, can you? He asked me. Oh no! He set those security guards so I wouldn't be able to run away, I said in my mind, I was so surprised. I wished I never told him my plan, tears rolled down my eyes.

"I can't let you abort my first child. You don't just know what you are doing anymore, I never meant to do all this, we are in this and we have to fight through. You have always been the encouraging me, I know you to be strong, but I don't know why you are not again, this days, i think it's my time for me to encourage you now."

 He placed his hands on my shoulder saying...
"We will scale through this, soon all will be very fine remember you always tell me to be patient in life and this is the time you and i have to be, baby." I removed his hands off my shoulders angrily.
 He tried whipping my tears away, but I pushed his hand away. He looked at me for a while and walked away to his room.
I sat down on the chair, crying bitterly. His mom and dad weren't around at that moment.

After a while of crying I walked up to his room. 

So you have kidnapped me now or what? Ibrahim! I shouted at him angrily, crying.
 He didn't say a word he just dropped down his phone. 
Are you not the one I'm talking to! I shouted at him again. 
But still he didn't say a word he was still calm.
There was no need for me to keep on shouting, as I knew he wouldn't say a word. The pains were just too much for me.
I walked back to my room.
 I remembered, I had a friend who also had a friend that was a DPO,
 I took my phone and messaged her. 
Thank God she is online, I said to myself.
We chatted for a while and I asked her for the DPO number. She asked me what was wrong, I  lied to her someone stole some goods at my boutique, he was caught by someone and I wanted to take the case legally. She told me, she and the DPO haven't been in good terms for up to a year, because she refused to date him. She sent me his number and warned me not to tell him I got his number from her. They don't ask people how they get their number na, they are meant to be called for emergency I told her. Before, she replied I went off immediately, i saved the number and dialed it. It rang and he picked up.
I told him i was not allowed to leave the house I had been kidnapped, by a young man named Ibrahim. He asked me some questions I answered then he  asked if I knew the address  of the place. I told him, and he assured me that his men will be there soon.

I stood watching outside from the window waiting for them. 
Ibrahim will see my action today, I said in my mind angrily.

After about two hours I saw them. Oh gosh, Nigeria police, after waiting for two hours, at last I will be free so I can't terminate this pregnancy that had caged me, I said In my mind.

They spoke to the    security  guards and showed them their ID card, so they were allowed  in. At this time the gate man ran to Ibrahim's room to tell him some policemen asked of him. 
"Let them come in I am here!" He told the gate man. As the gate man was leaving I heard Ibrahim say...."I am sure I didn't do anything that is illegal."

That had always been Ibrahim he never feared, he is always bold. I remembered back then in the university he always told me If he sees me with another guy, he will deal with the guy. At a time I was thinking he was a cultist, due to the way he spoke and he never feared. He drove even late at night then at school. But as time went on, I was very sure he didn't belong to any cult group. That is just the typical him.

Today I will be free from Ibrahim, I said in mind a bit happy.

The gateman directed them to his room. I stood closely to hear all.

"Good afternoon Sir, we are from the CID department." One of them said showing him his ID card. 
The other one stood in the living room looking all around like he had been to the house before.

"How may I help you?" Ibrahim asked.

Ibrahim, all will be over today and I will gain my freedom, i said in my mind, i was happy my plan was working.

"We were told you kidnapped a young lady here in this house.....


PART 24
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

"We were told you kidnapped a young lady in this house", the man said to Ibrahim.

"Wow, kidnap case, wow, wow, wow, I'm very sure you didn't investigate well before coming down here. What evidence do you have to proof I kidnapped a young lady in my house?" He asked him. 
Their voices were loud enough to be heard in the room I was. 

They came to the room I was.
Ibrahim, opened the door.

I will be out of this today, i said in my mind quite happy.

 "As you can see the door wasn't locked before we entered. Ibrahim said, telling the policeman.
"That's who called you", Ibrahim said pointing at me.
"Does she look like someone who is kidnapped? And before you came in, you saw security men out there, so how did I kidnap her?  Can we go back to my room?" He asked the policeman, who was just nodding his head.

They left the room I was,
I followed them, to see what he was to do next. I knew  Ibrahim to be very smart.

They walked to his room. Ibrahim took a picture of me and him and showed the policeman.
 "Here is a picture of me and my wife, so tell me how I kidnapped her? He asked the policeman, who stood still.
So I didn't kidnapped anyone, make sure you investigate well next time",Ibrahim said.

He walked down the stairs, the  policeman followed him.

Oh, no what are they doing? I asked myself confused.

The other policeman, who was looking all over the living room, spoke.

"Alaji, house lele na." (This is Alaji house na) He said, looking at the other policeman.

"Ta lo je Alaji?" (Who is Alaji?) He asked him.

"Yes, this his is picture", he said pointing at a picture of Ibrahim's dad.
 It was an art work picture of his dad, hanged up in the living room.

He whispered something in the other police man ear.

"You must be Alaji son, and you are a lawyer.?" He asked Ibrahim.
He nodded his head, in affirmative, looking at them.

"Mo sor fu ehn na." (I told you na) He said to the other policeman.

Oh, no what's going on? what's all this drama? I asked myself, confused.

"Mo mor man dada." ( I know the man well) He said.

He whispered something to the other police man again, and they both nodded their heads.
 
"We are so sorry sir", the policemen said to Ibrahim.

Sorry for what!!? I asked. I'm kidnapped here, am not free to go out! Don't you get! And all you could say is "sorry" to who won't let me have my freedom!  I shouted at  the policemen angrily, I was crying.

"Sorry madam, you are not kidnapped",  this is a family issue, we can't come in" the policeman who knew Ibrahim's dad said.
"Yes",  the other policeman who questioned  Ibrahim earlier, said.

And so! I yelled at the policemen, crying.

One of them turned to Ibrahim.
"We are sorry Sir. We are sorry for not investigating well before coming sir."

I was confused. I didn't know what to say again. I stood crying. My tears were so hot.
Why did I get pregnant? Oh Lord why is all this happening? I asked myself, crying, as I walked to the veranda.

The policeman, who knew  Ibrahim's dad walked out, after some minutes.

"You no even happy, say you dey rich man house, u dey lie say dem kidnap you." The policeman said to me.

I looked at him crying.
 Nigeria policemen will never change, I said in my mind.

"I know Alaji well na, na my big daddy be that. How the man or he son go kidnap you? No be outside you dey now. How dey con kidnap you." The policeman said.

I just kept on looking at him.

 Ibrahim and the other policeman walked out.
They were all heading out to the gate, as they were about to reach the gate, someone horned a car. Which meant a car was at the gate.

The gateman rushed out to see who it was and he opened the gate immediately. 
I saw Ibrahim's dad car driving in. The driver, drove in and parked at the garage.
His mom came down from the car first, looking confused.

"Kiloshele?" Ibrahim's dad asked looking at the two policemen confused.

"Ha daddy, ekansun Sir." ( Ha, daddy good afternoon sir) big daddy! The policeman who knew Ibrahim's said, hailing him.

"Ba wo ni, kiloshele?" (How are you? What is happening?) He asked the policeman looking confused.

"Kosi o (noting o) Ha noting daddy. Everything is okay." He replied.

Ibrahim gave a look to his dad, telling him he will tell him everything later. 

They walked far  to talk for a while. I didn't hear what they talked about, but of course they really knew each other. 

They came walking back, when they were done talking.

The other policeman just stood still, looking around the house.

"Daddy na ,daddy anything for your son."
He put his hand in his pocket, brought out his wallet,  counted some money and gave him. 
He thanked him, and they both left.

As they were coming in, I ran up the stairs to my room crying.


PART 25
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

As they were coming in, I ran up the stairs to my room crying.

I was so confused, I didn't even know what to do anymore. I was regretting why I ever came to see him on that day. May be if I had known, I would have listened to my mom. I sat on my bed crying bitterly with regrets. I wished I could just destroy the pregnancy myself. Life wasn't going as the way I planned and imagined my life to be. No one, could understand my pains at that time. 

I managed to stretch my hand, to take my phone, I switched it on to call my mom, may be she might be of help to my situation.
She picked up immediately, 
I was shut of words.

"Hello, hello, are you crying, she asked. 
I....I....am, I said. 
"You are what? Talk to me", she said.
I didn't know what my mom was going to say, I had disappointed her, but it wasn't my wish. I picked up courage to tell her.
I'm pregnant, I said crying.
"Since when? for who?"she asked.
Ibr..ibrah...IbrahimI managed to say in fear.
" That cross is yours o! I don't have any hands in it, since that's what you want  to go for, go for it o! And ......" 
She shouted at me on the phone angrily. Before she could complete her statements I hanged up immediately and switched my phoneoff. What she said  caused more pains to me.

I sat down on my bed still crying, when the door opened, I raised up my head to see who it was.
Ibrahim, walked in looking at me angrily.
You call yourself a lawyer and you bribed those policemen, I said to him crying. He still kept on looking at me and later left.

I wished all was a dream, I wished I could change all that was happening.

Later that evening, his parents called me,
I answered and met them in the living room. I was expecting them to pour out their anger on me, but they didn't. They talked to me.
My mind was far away, I wasn't listening to them at all. All I wanted was to get out of the  whole situation.

At night, I laid down on my bed still crying I placed my Bible beside me.
My door opened, Ibrahim's mom walked in, I cleaned my tears immediately. It was dark so she switched on the light looking at me. I didn't say a word I just bowed my face. She walked closely to my bedside took my Bible and quietly left.
I broke down the more again, crying as she left the room.
Religion was really a big issue indeed, only if I had known.
My mom wasn't of any help, I was changed into being a Muslim, I had no freedom to commit abortion as I wanted, I refused eating that night.

I tried severely to go out but the mobile policemen at the gate never allowed me.

One afternoon I figured out a plan. I thought of committing abortion with drugs. Their maid was about leaving to go get foodstuffs at the market, when I approached. 

Good afternoon, I greeted her.
She was surprised I greeted her, I had never spoken to her since I had being in their house.
"Madam, good afternoon o", she replied.
Please I want you to get something for me when coming back please, I said.
"Madam, that one no be problem na, hanhan madam just give me money I go buy am when I dey come, she said.
Ok, I don't have cash on me now I will do a transfer to your bank account, give me your bank details, I said to her.
"Madam, I no get bank o, I no dey use bank o", she said.
I had no cash on me at that moment. I had to figure out what to do quickly.
Ok wait, I said to her.
 I thought of what to do, I walked up to Ibrahim's room, I saw him arranging some files.
A thought flashed to my mind,...
 "what if she refuses to get the drugs for you? Then I will have to bribe her with money and I'm sure with that she will go, I said in my mind.

Will you just tell those securities at the gate to let me go out, I need money and I want to use the P.O.S., I said to him.
"What do you want to get? He asked me.
" I want your maid to get me something at the market, and I need to give her money, I said.
"What do you want her to get for you?" He asked me.
Please, I'm not ready for your questions, will you give me or not? I asked him.
"How much do you need?" He asked me.
Just 5k, I said.
He opened his wallet counted out 5k and gave it to me.
I will transfer your money to you today, I said.
"I don't need it", he said.
I walked away. she was still waiting for me.

I'm sorry for delaying you, I said to her.
"Ha madam, no problem o, wentin u want make I buy for you?" She asked.
I looked around to be sure no one was watching especially Ibrahim, he is very smart, I walked closer to her and told her. I  got to know the drug as I had few friends  who used it then, when I was in the university.
"Ha madam, na abortion drug be that na", she said.
Please, don't shout it, I said to her.
"Madam, I know say na u won use am o I no fit buy am o, if dem hear say I buy am for you oga and madam go sack me o, I no won be bad person o madam" she said. 
I had to persuade her, i told her i wasn't going to tell anyone,  I gave her the 5k, before she reluctantly agreed to get it for me.

When she was back, she knocked at my room door, I told her to come in. 
She gave me the drug. I promised her again that I wasn't going to led anyone know.
"Madam, abeg o", she said and left.

I had a bottle of water beside me.
I was about to take it when something kept telling me..
 "Thou must not commit abortion, what if you die during this process?" It kept on ringing in my mind. The fear of me dying scared me so much, I put the drug down. I broke down again crying. I came out of my room, I was Ibrahim going  to his parents room. I sat in the living room for about 30mintues before I left to my room, I wondered what Ibrahim  was s doing in his parents room as  they weren't around.

After about 30mintues I took up courage to take the drug. I walked to where I hid the drugs. I hid it in my box where I kept my clothes, I didn't arrange my clothes in the wardrobe in their house, as I kept searching for it, Ibrahim walked in. I put all my clothes back in my box immediately.

"What did you ask her to get for you?" He asked.
Something, I said.
"Can I see it?" He asked me.
No, you can't, I said.
He sat down on the bed quietly. I sat on the floor looking at him, wondering what was keeping him waiting.

After a while he spoke.
"You are very smart, you know", he said.
I was confused. I kept on looking at him.
How? I asked him.
"You asked her to get you an abortion drug, right?" He asked me.
I was shocked, how did he get to know.
"There is a CCTV in this house, and I knew you were up to something, so I went to my parent's room to watch all you were doing", he said.
I couldn't believe it.
"You call yourself a Christian, you know abortion is a sin and yet you still want to commit such act." "I'm not going to allow you kill my first child" he said ....as he walked up to where my box was, searched it well he saw the drug and took it.
I begged him not to tell anyone, for the sake of the maid...I forced her to get it, i told him. He just looked at me and left.
Am sure he still went ahead to the maid to talk to her. I broke down again, crying.

After a while I accepted my fate. For peace to  reign I fully accepted being a Muslim. I had become much of a mosque goer. 
Sometimes, I cried deeply when I realize I had forsaken Christ.

Things started going well, even though it was not as I wanted. I took up courage to be strong.

Almost two months later, I walked up to Ibrahim's room. He was in his bathroom having his bath. Anytime he goes out and come in he will always have his bath, that had been him ever since I knew him in the university.

I saw an envelop on his bed. 
What could be in it? I asked myself in my mind. 
Well, I'm sure he will tell me once he is out, he never hid things form me ever since we knew. He only hid things from me when things weren't going well between us.
I still felt like checking what was in the envelope. I took it and opened it. What I saw shocked me deeply. 
Lo and behold it was a.........

PART 26
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

Lo and behold, 
it was a weeding invitation card of Joyce and Abel. Joyce weds Abel, I saw a picture of both of them on the invitation card. 
Oh no! Joyce, betrayed me, I was shocked, I passed on there.

I opened my eyes, I was soaked in water, I must have fainted.
Their eyes were on me.
"What happened? Ibrahim asked.
I didn't say a word, I just kept on looking at them. His mom was talking but I didn't listen to her, she asked me what happened, if I was ok, I just kept on telling her I was fine, I didn't know what happened to me.
His mom, his dad were thanking God I was awake. She assisted me to my room, I changed my clothes. 

Later she left, when Ibrahim came in.
"What happened to you?" He asked me.
I don't know, I'm fine, I replied.
"Are you sure?" He asked me.
Of course, you have noting to worry about.
He kept on looking at me, am sure he knew that I was lying to him, from his look.
"You are sure you are okay? " He asked me.
I just nodded my head.

He placed his hand on my face.
"Talk to me, please", he said.
I took his hands off my face.
I said I'm fine, I didn't know what happened.
"Hmmmm, have known you for a long time, so talk to me", he said.
I said noting! I'm fine!, I yelled at him.

He later left.

I felt the pains much more again, Joyce betrayed me. She deceived me to go see Ibrahim on that day, and she went ahead to get married to Abel. I'm sure she must be the one who sent those pictures to Ibrahim, i said in my mind crying.

Joyce ripped me of my joy, I was the one who was supposed to be getting married to Abel, because of Joyce all this happened.
I regretted the first day we both met.
She betrayed me. The pains were just too much for me to bear. My body and soul was hurt. 
Joyce, you will never find happiness in your marriage, I cursed her that night. I still kept on crying.

As time went on, I still couldn't get over the pains. I cried all day.
I kept on looking at the invitation card almost everyday, crying.

I was holding the invitation card, crying a day, when Ibrahim walked in.

"Ohhh so this what makes you cry?" He asked me.
I whipped my tears with my hands.
"So because your friend, Joyce is getting married next week, you are crying?" He asked me.
Only if he knows that is Abel, I said in my mind, looking at him.
"I saw her, when I closed from office I stopped to get something, she saw me first and greeted me. She asked of you, saying she had been trying to call, but your line is always switched off, and the few times you came online you didn't reply her messages. I told her you were fine, she also said she wanted to see you. I told her you are with me. She handed her wedding invitation card to me, saying we must be there", he said.
I didn't say a word.
He came closer to me.
"C'mon baby, I know how you feel, I know things didn't work out as planned, but soon everything will be fine, please be happy", he said.
I kept quite.
He held me to himself.
"We are going for her wedding next week", he said.
I am not going anywhere, I said to him.
"We must", he said.
We are Muslims ok. Her wedding is to take place in the church, we can't go, I tried to discourage him.
"Yes, we are not going there for a church service, after the wedding we will both leave, he said.
It was hard most times to change Ibrahim's mind.
I didn't say a word.
"Let's go out and have dinner, he said kissing me.

We both left.

 A day to Joyce's weeding, Ibrahim took me out to fix my hair, and get gifts for her weeding. 
I still couldn't believe, Joyce was getting married to Abel, I wondered how on earth they both met. 
Joyce betrayed me.

The next day was their weeding.
Ibrahim, forced me to get dressed. We both entered the car and he drove off.
As he was driving, he kept on starring at me.
Why are you starring at me like that, I asked him.
"It's been a long time I saw you this way, you look more beautiful, this the girl I knew from the beginning, he said smiling.
"Leave me jare, I said smiling.
We both laughed.

My mind later flashed to Abel and Joyce, I felt like crying but i held back my tears.

As we entered the church,  I felt the pains more when I saw both of them seated in the front. I felt like turning back.
"Are you okay", Ibrahim asked.
I just nodded my head.
Only if Ibrahim knew, that is Abel, I said in my mind.

Just then as we were both seated, someone came  and told us to come sit at the front, he said.... Joyce saw us and told him to tell us to come to the front seats.
I wanted to stay behind but Ibrahim held my hand, in order not to create a scene I followed him.
Joyce, saw both of us and smiled at us, I gave her a devilish look and hissed.

"Is there anyone who won't want this two to be joined as husband and wife today? Get up and talk now or forever remain silent", the pastor said.

I wish someone will just stand up, I said quietly, frowning at both of them.
Ibrahim heard me.
"What did you say?" He asked, surprised at what I said.
I didn't say anything, I replied.
He looked at me for a while and later turned his face.

"Do you take this woman as your wife to be", the pastor asked Abel.
At that moment I was really focusing on Abel and our eyes both met. No two ways, he saw me, I was sure of that.
We maintained eye contact for a while, before he took his eyes away from me.

"Do you take this woman here as your wife to be?" The pastor asked Abel again.
Abel kept mute.
I could notice Joyce's smile was almost fading away.
Abel sighed, i heard it, because someone held a microphone, close to his mouth.
Our eyes both met each other again.

"Do you take this woman here as your wife to be?" The pastor asked the third time.
Abel turned to look at Joyce.


PART 27
MY PAINS
© PRINCESSS  MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

Abel turned to look at Joyce.

"Yes I do", he said calmly.
He turned to look at me again. Joyce was asked too, she happily accepted him.
At that moment I wasn't feeling okay at all, I was almost shedding tears the pains were just too much to see my best friend getting married to who I was  engaged to before. She betrayed me. I felt like destroying the marriage but I couldn't.
Let's go, I said to Ibrahim.
"Why? It's not over yet, what about the gifts we got?" 
I'm not okay, lets leave, I said.
"You just only being jealous", Ibrahim said, looking at me angrily.
Take me home now I'm not feeling okay, if anything happens to your baby, just know you caused it.
"Ok ma let's leave", he said.
He stood up immediately as we left, some people were looking at us.

I came online on Instagram later that evening, I went through Abel's page on Instagram I saw different pictures  of he, Joyce, his parents, family and friends. I saw different of their wedding pictures, they were happily married. I couldn't hold back my tears, I felt so much pains.

I just had to accept things the way it happened to become stronger.

Almost a month later.  His parents both discussed with us and I told them I will inform my parents also, it was about our wedding plans.

 Preparation for our wedding was on.
I loved Ibrahim so much with my heart,  just that I was sad things didn't go well as planned, and what hurt me most was that my mom wasn't in support.
 

 I couldn't even call my mom or go see her to tell her, I knew she would have sent me back if I approached her house. I sent a text message her to telling her about our wedding and where it will be taking place, I forwarded the same message to my dad. I didn't invite any of my friends, or any family member, it wasn't my joy our wedding would be done in a Muslim way.

A week to our wedding, his family members were all around, his sister from abroad too came. That was my first  time of seeing her. I was in the room when Ibrahim came in with his elder sister and introduced me to her.
 We both hugged each other, we talked, she was very happy on seeing me.
His cousin kazeem was also around.
Kazeem walked up to me admiring me.
"You look more beautiful", kazeem said.
I just laughed, we talked for a while.

That night Ibrahim came to my room.
"I told you everything was going to work out well", he said holding my hand.
I just smiled, only If he knew deep down in me that I wasn't happy, I never imagined my wedding being done in a Muslim way. Every since I was younger, I always imagined my self on a white wedding gown sitting close to a man on white suit, in a church. My imaginations and plans never came true.
He hugged me and we both kissed.

The wedding took place, a lot of money was really spent. His parents friends from abroad  were there that day.
We received a lot of expensive gifts. There was a lot of different kind of dishes, fruit drinks,  expensive wines, alcoholic drinks, for Ibrahim's friends mostly. I met a lot of his friends that day. It was really a big weeding.

My parents and siblings were there.
During the wedding, I could see my mom's face she wasn't happy at all, there was just no way she couldn't be present during her daughter's wedding, I'm sure that's why she came. She didn't invite any of her friends or our family members, she only came with her close sister.
 Anytime I looked at her face I felt like crying, I didn't make my mom happy but I just had to hold back my tears.
When the wedding was over before I could go see my parents and siblings I heard they had all left, I'm sure my mom was the one who would have said they should all  leave immediately. I held back my tears not to cry. Wedding day was supposed to be a day of joy, but to me it wasn't, it was the saddest day ever. I had just managed to smile in most of the wedding pictures we snapped. A lot of people both the ones we knew and the ones we didn't came to take pictures with us.
I heard a young lady say....
"I wish my wedding to be this way", only if she knew I wasn't happy, I said in my mind.

We both entered his car, a driver was in front to drive us to his house.
We were both starring at each other, he kept on smiling.
As the driver kept driving, I notice he was driving to a different place entirely, as that was not the way to Ibrahim's house.

 Where is he driving to? I asked Ibrahim confused.
He just smiled.
This not the way to your house, I said.
Are you scared? He asked.
 I looked at me.
  He laughed out, loudly.
Stop it, I don't like your laughter, it's scary, I said looking at him, confused.

PART 28
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

Stop it, I don't like your laughter, it's scary, I said.

"Just relax", he said.

I did as he said.

We got to the front of a house, a gateman opened the gate and the driver drove in.
The house was so beautiful and mighty. 
What are we doing here? Who lives here, I asked ibrahim, confused.
"You and me", he said smiling.
I don't get you.
"This is our new house".
I looked around surprised.
Are you serious, I asked him.
He smiled, nodding his head.
"Do you like it", he asked me.
Of course I do, I replied happily, hugging him.

That was how we became happy again.

I converted into a Christian, as we had both agreed in the university then that religion won't be a barrier to us, Ibrahim was the first to say that and I agreed. "We are in the twenty first century and I think religion shouldn't be forced on anyone" that was what he told me then. And he also made me know from the beginning that he wasn't going to convert to a Christian.
Although, I still kept on talking to him to change he would tell me.... "Your pastor is there collecting your tithes and offerings, look at the church you are going very big, yet there are poor people there, the poor ones still pay tithes and offering which they use to get money and yet the poor ones are still poor." The day he told me that I was dumbfounded, I didn't even know what to say.
Sometimes, when we were together and I had to leave for church he would get a bit angry, but he won't stop me from going.

Few months after we got married, Johnson was born.

I want to tell you something, I said facing Ibrahim.
"What's that", he asked smiling.
I love you and I'm very happy you didn't allow me abort this child we have here, I said with tears rolling from my eyes. It was so much joy for me to behold Jonson.
" it's okay baby", he said whipping my tears.
"I told you everything will get better."
Yeah you did, we both hugged each other.

His mom was the one who came to help me during that period, and I had to pretend to be a Muslim again during those times she was around.

During his name ceremony, I informed my mom before the day. But she never came, only my siblings and my dad came. I felt so hurt she didn't come but there was noting I could do. Ibrahim's family and friends were all present on that day also.
I knew there was no way I could give my baby a Christian name on that day.
Ibrahim's mom named him a Muslim name "Ahmed." 
 I wanted to name him "Emmanuel." I loved the name so much but I had to give him the English "Johnson",  it was supposed to be " "John" but since I won't be able to name him that Christian name, I changed it to "Johnson." I'm sure you understand.
The ceremony went well, the next day people that slept over left. 

Let me cut my long story short.

Johnson and I always went to church together, Ibrahim wasn't against it, and I was happy.
I do leave for Church before 7am on sundays, I was a worker. On one sunday I decided to delay a bit and talk to Ibrahim to follow us to church that sunday, I kept on waiting for him, If he would change his mind.
"Is like you don't want to go to church today", he said.
I looked at him for a while and left.

When Johnson was two years, I talked to Ibrahim about registering him in a school I liked. My plan was to register him in a particular school where children were trained in the way of Christ, it was a bit far from our house, a church member of mine her daughter attended that school, she knew a lot about the Bible, she would recite long Bible verses, her mom had told me it was the school she was going that helped her more in those aspect.
Ibrahim, agreed. He turned to Johnson...
"Ahmed, you will soon start going to school", he said.
"Yes", Johnson answered laughing.
Johnson at the age of two he was smart, a fast talker, very inquisitive, and taller then any two years old child. People found it hard to believe he was two years. I guessed  because his dad was tall too.

Monday was the first day schools, just resumed for a new academic session.

We all had breakfast in the morning.
After breakfast, I told him I was leaving.
"To where", he asked.
I told you about the plan na, registering Johnson in a school, I said.
"Ohh so I don't need to be involved abi", he asked.
I didn't want Ibrahim to come along, was scared he might not want Johnson in that kind of school.
"So I won't know the school you want to register my son", he said.
No naaa, I didn't want to stress you, you can come along, I said.
" Better o", he said.

We both entered the car and left.

No, this not the way to the school, turn to your left, I told Ibrahim as he was driving.
He still kept on driving.
Are you not hearing me, that's not the way, I said again.
"I know baby", he said.
I kept mute and allowed him to continue driving.
 

PART 29
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

I kept mute and allowed him to continue driving.

We arrived at a very big school I admired the school building, as we entered the school, Io and behold i saw  it was a Muslim school. I looked at Ibrahim angrily but he didn't say a word. As we kept on going I noticed the school had a very big mosque.
Oh Lord Jesus, I said in my mind, I was so angry. 
"Mommy, I like this school", Johnson said jumping up happily.
I smiled and stood still.
"Who are you waiting for?" Ibrahim asked.
I looked at him angrily, I didn't want to create any scene so I walked up to him.

A woman was passing by, Ibrahim greeted her, he told her he came to register his son in the school, the woman directed him to an office.

As we entered the office, we saw a young lady seated she was on a long hijab, typing on her laptop. She greeted us we  both replied. I saw pictures of things written in Arabic, I saw a picture of woman she was dressed in a Muslim way, she was the owner of the school as it was written on the picture. I couldn't Imagine my son being in a Muslim school, I almost cried out. 
After she and Ibrahim were done discussing, the young lady turned to Johnson.
"What's your name boy", she asked smiling.
"My name is Johnson", he answered her immediately.
"Smart, are you Christians?" She asked.
"No, Muslims, Ibrahim replied her.
We both looked at each other.
"So what's his Muslim name."
"Ahmed",Ibrahim replied.
"How old are you? She asked Johnson.
" I'm two years old", Johnson replied her.
"Wow, what a very smart boy, but he looks taller than a child of two", she said looking at me.
I nodded my head and smiled.
"Just like is dad," Ibrahim said.
We all laughed.
She took us around the school, Ibrahim paid for all bills that day and told her Johnson would be resuming the next day, he made arrangement for the school bus, he wrote down our house address, she assured him the school bus will be at our gate as early as 7am the next day, to pick Johnson.

After we left he drove to a place where kids stuff were sold.

We entered the place.
"Get him what he needs for school, Ibrahim said looking at me.
I got Johnson a new school bag, a new  lunch kit, school shoe, socks, and other things.

After we were done, he drove to an eatery we had lunch before heading home.

It's time for me to pour out my anger, I said in my mind as we were approaching our gate.

When we got in, Miriam was in the living room watching TV, she got up to greet us. Johnson, quickly grabbed his new school bag from me. I gave his lunch kit to Miriam to wash it, she took it and went straight to the kitchen.

Johnson was jumping around with his new school bag.
Son, come and have your bath, I said, he ran up to me.

After I was done bathing him, I dressed him up, he was feeling sleepy already I laid him on his bed and he slept. I left his room, walking down the stairs to the living room.

"So you deceived me! Right!, I yelled at Ibrahim angrily.
He turned to look at me.
"I'm sure it  was an agreement between you and your mom to send Johnson to a Muslim school, I said angrily.
"I know well you love arguments, that's why I do keep quite most of the times when you start, he said looking at me.
"Ooh really, did you tell me that was your plan at first!!" I yelled at him again angrily the more.
"Enough please! Ahmed has been going to church with you since he was born did I complain or say anything?" He yelled at me angrily too.
"Ohhhh, I see," I said.
"Good, you can see now, or is he not the same child you wanted to abort back then and here you are shouting. Please let me be, I also have my own right, I'm the man but you always want to control me like you are. He is my son let me be", Ibrahim  said angrily and walked away.

Ohh wow, now you walking away from me, I said but he didn't answer.

I sat down angrily, almost in tears. Am not bringing up a godly home in Christ, I said in my mind, tears were dripping from my eyes. There was noting I could do to change the situation.

The next day, Ibrahim woke Johnson as early as 6am and prepared him for school. Miriam prepared break fast that morning.
At 6:45am, they were outside the gate waiting for the school bus to arrive. 
I need to see my son go to school on his first day, I said in my mind as I walked up to the gate to meet them.

When I got to the gate, I stood for a while looking at Ibrahim before I spoke to Johnson.

Take care of yourself son, listen well at school, I want you to be the best of all. I love you ok, I said to him.
"I love you too mommy", Johnson replied happily.
You will be given a pencil and books to write on at school ok, I said to him.
He nodded his head. 
Johnson was so happy on his first day to school he didn't cry like most children did on their first day.

"Mommy, why are you looking at daddy like that" Johnson asked me when he noticed the look on my face.
Noting, I replied him checking his lunch kit to see what was in it.

"It's fried egg and bread with yogurt drink", that's what Aunty Miriam put in it", Johnson said.
That's still ok, by 1pm you would have closed, at least you ate breakfast, I said to him as
I closed the lunch kit and gave it back to him to hold it.
The school bus arrived, Ibrahim whispered something in Johnson's ear, hugged him and walked up to the driver to talk to him.
 I hugged Johnson also and kissed him. Johnson bade us Goodbye, till the school bus drove out of sight.

 I hissed at Ibrahim, as I walked in.

Johnson was doing well academically. He always took first  position. I was always happy especially when I will be called during the school end of section party to come take a picture with him as being the first position in his class.

Most of the times, Johnson would be saying sometimes in Arabic I didn't understand. The first day I heard that from him I shut him up and Ibrahim warned me not to shut him up when he is saying such again. When Ibrahim wasn't there I will shut him up immediately saying... Johnson remember you are a Christian.

One Saturday morning, I was holding some files in my hand, as I was about to pick my phone that was ringing the files fell of my hands. 
I answered the call it was my pastor, he called me to remind me of the program that was to hold on that day. 
Ok Sir, I will be at church at 3pm, I replied him.
Ibrahim, looked at me when he heard me say "church".
"Okay, God bless you" he said and hanged up.
Johnson picked up the files, arranged it well and gave it to me.
That's my boy, give mommy a high five, i said. He did and we both laughed.
You are so smart and handsome, I said to Johnson smiling.
"Just like his dad", Ibrahim said laughing.
I looked at him, who told this one he is smart and handsome, I said jokingly.
"You are jealous he didn't take after you, I'm happy he didn't, Ibrahim said jokingly also laughing.
So I'm dull,and I'm not fine"I asked him jokingly.
"Never, my wife is the most beautiful, and I hope we still have a daughter as beautiful as her", he said smiling.
Of course, we will have a daughter, why did you say so? I asked him wondering why he used the word " hope".."I hope we still have a daughter....."
"Have been wanting to let you know since", he said calmly.
Know what? I asked him.
"Well back then an Alfa told my parent I was destined to only have one child and the child will be a boy, one day also a celestial prophet approached my mom and told her the same thing", he said and sighed.
I was very surprised.
"That was the more reason my parents and I weren't In support of you going for an abortion then, that's why I  took it seriously with you then, and also because my parents wanted a grandchild around them because  my elder sister  is in aboard, her husband and her husband's family do not allow her to bring her children every year she visit's Nigeria.I am sorry for not letting you know then, he said.
"So just Johnson we are going to have as our only child I said almost in tears, and you never told me till today, I said.
"I'm sorry", he said and sighed.
Well I believe noting is impossible for God to do, I believe God can still things, i said.
" I hope so too", he said petting me.

It's 2:30pm, I have to leave for church now, I said to Ibrahim, Johnson is sleeping now I won't take him along, I don't want to disturb him.
"Church, every time, I can't even have time with you again." he said angrily. 
I will soon be back, dear I said.
"You can go" he said still angry.
Don't be angry na.
"Have heard you go", Ibrahim said.
Thanks, I said as I got up to leave.

Ibrahim hardly went to mosque, may be once in two months he will just go to pray, but still he kept on telling me he can never change from being a Muslim.

When I got home I was surprised to see my mother in-law.
I greeted her, she replied.
"Where are you coming from? I have been here since 4pm, and this is 7:35pm, she said looking straight into my eyes.
My Bible was in my hand, my hair was covered, I couldn't lie to her.
 

PART 30
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

My Bible was in my hand, my hair was covered, I couldn't lie to her.

"From church", I answered her.
She looked at me and sighed. I thought she was going to do more than that. I saw the look on her face like she didn't care, all she cared about was her son and grandson. She and Ibrahim kept on talking as I walked to my room.

 Have been through a lot of pains I can't let this bother me, I said in my mind as I sat on my bed, opened my Bible to read and pray.

Ibrahim's mom spent a week In our house, she made an arrangement with an Alfa to come take Johnson every evening for Arabic lesson.
Ibrahim, told me that was her plan the day she came.

The first day he came to take Johnson, he cried refusing, but she petted him, I felt so bad but there was noting I could do, Ibrahim was also in support, saying Johnson had been following me to church, it was time for him to practice his own religion.

I stayed in my room  crying that day, Oh Lord I'm sorry I wasn't able to bring up a godly home, have mercy on me it was all my fault, I said crying bitterly.

In less than four months, Johnson had loved going for the Arabic  lesson "ilekewu" or so they called it. Johnson made Ibrahim to start to go to mosque regularly, Johnson refused ever following me to church.

I was about going to church one evening, the rain was falling, Johnson was just getting better he had been sick so the Alfa stopped  coming to take him along.
Miriam had not return home and Ibrahim was still at work.

"Son, let's go to church" I said hoping he would follow me as he won't want to stay home alone.
"I'm not going to church. Have told you many times, I am a muslim", he said.
Will you shut up! You are a Christian okay! I yelled at him.
"No! Because daddy is not at home you are forcing me to go to church now. I'm not going, he said.
I was very angry, I went closer to him and placed my hands on his shoulder.
"Johnson, why don't you want to go to church again, why did you just suddenly hate going to church with me? I asked him almost in tears.
"Mommy, why can't you be a muslim too so you, me and my daddy we will all be going to the mosque together, my friends Maleek, Quadri, Sekinat, their mommies comes to the mosque. Even in my school my friends, their mommies and their daddies are all muslims", he said.
I sighed as tears dripped down my eyes and I whipped it off quickly, I didn't know what to say again.
So you alone you will be at home?, i asked him still hoping he would change his mind.
"Yes", he said.

I became angry the more.

"Johnson, you will go with me weather you like it or not! I yelled at him angrily than ever.
He looked at me surprised.
"I'm not going to church", he cried out.
I raised up my hand and slapped him hard on his face, that I heard the sound of the slap in my ear like it resounded. After I slapped him I realized myself, Jonson laid down on the floor crying out loudly in pains.
I regretted why I slapped him as I watched him crying in serious pains.
"I …i...i... wi...ll te...ll my da...ddy, you slapped me, he  said.
I looked at his face I saw the marks of my hand on his face, I walked to the veranda and sat down crying.

After a while, the thunder stroked very loudly. Johnson ran to the veranda to meet me, he was very scared, I held him tightly.
I'm sorry for slapping you okay, I said to him.
He was still crying.
Johnson, I love you, I don't hate you I'm sorry. I looked at his face the marks were still on it.
As I touched his body and chest I observed his temperature hot.
I took him inside petted him, bathed him with very hot water, fed him and gave him paracetamol, he managed to  sleep, I laid him on the chair In the living room. I kept on touching him but his body was still very hot. 
Oh Lord, have mercy on me, I cried out.

Two hours later, Ibrahim came in the rain had stopped.
Welcome, I greeted him calmly.
"Thanks baby. How you are?" He asked.
I sighed.
"Are you ok? Why is Johnson sleeping? I hope he is getting better? He asked as he walked up to where Johnson was sleeping, he placed his hand on him.

"His body is very hot", he said looking at me.
 
I kept on looking at him as I didn't know what to say.

"You didn't observe this since?" He asked.
I gave him paracetamol, I said.
"No, this is really serious, we have to take him back to the hospital", he said.
I stood still looking.
"Ahmed, Ahmed, he tapped him waking him up.
" Da...ddy" Johnson said with a weak voice.
"What's wrong again Ahmed, you were getting better before I left for work today, he asked him looking very worried.
Johnson started crying again.
Ibrahim, noticed the mark on his face, it had not cleared  fully.
" Ahmed, what happened to your face? He asked Johnson.What happened to his face, he asked me looking very worried and surprised.
I stood still, almost crying again, I couldn't believe I slapped my own son out of anger that way. I regretted why I did.
"Mommy, slapped me on my face", Johnson said.
Ibrahim, turned to look at me. My heart started panting.
"Is that true?" He asked me.
I kept mute, he turned to  Johnson.
"Did mommy truly slap you?"
"Yes", Johnson replied.
"What did you do?"
"Because, I didn't want to go to church with her", he answered.
"Is that true?" Ibrahim asked me again.
I didn't really mean to slap him that way, I said with tears in my eyes, I could feel Johnson's pain, I wish I didn't slap him.
"Wow, you didn't really mean to, and now his body is very hot here", he shouted at me angrily.
I touched Johnson's body, it was even hotter.
"If anything happens to my son, you will see, he shouted on top of his voice angrily.
Don't talk to me, like I'm wicked person, I'm his mother, I don't know what came over me that made him slap him up to that extant, I said with tears dripping from eyes.
"Yes, you are! This is more than wickedness, just because he refused to follow you to your church! Did I ever do such to him when he was following you to your church? What you have done is child abuse and if anything happens to my son, I will sue you to court for that", he said with so much anger.
Johnson, I'm sorry okay, noting will happen to you I said, petting him. 
I opened another paracetamol tablet, I forced him to take it, not up to one minute, Johnson wasn't breathing normally again, the paracetamol hanged in his throat or so.
Ibrahim was watching him, I walked up to him shouting "Johnson!, Johnson!!, in fear. Johnson please talk to me, please, I said crying.
"So now you want to kill my only child?" Ibrahim said angrily, his eyes were red.
Please, do not say such okay, I'm his mother, I won't kill my own child, God for bid! Johnson will not die God forbid, I said crying, I rushed to my room to take my anointed oil before I came to the living room Ibrahim had taken him to the car, I rushed to enter the car and he drove to the hospital.

Johnson, was admitted in the hospital. The doctor assured us he will be okay, after three days Johnson was discharged, I went on my kneels thanking God.

I accepted things the way it were after that day, I allowed Johnson to practice his daddy religion freely. There was peace after then.

One day something came to my mind saying...
_You have tried your best to change your husband and son to Christians but it failed, you don't have the power to do such unless God intervene_
I thought of it, it was true i started praying to God to have mercy on me for not bringing up a godly home in Christ and for God to also change Johnson and his father.

 After a long while I made up my mind to fast for seven days, for God to change Ibrahim and Johnson, I went on dry fasting, I took it very seriously.

 On the fourth day of my fasting was when Ibrahim travelled for a business trip, he was into some business. Me and Johnson both saw him up to the airport at Ikeja before he left that day. 

One the seventh  day I completed my fasting, was when harm robbers broke in to our house. That was when I went into coma.
Now let me continue from where I stopped earlier in my story.


PART 31
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

After I was discharged from the hospital, my parents took me home. It was really God who saved me, that I was alive hale and healthy even the Doctor confirmed that. My parents and siblings were so happy there was celebration that day at home.

All that was on my mind was my son that was missing. I had no phone, the harm robbers took it from me on that day, getting a new phone wasn't what was on my mind at that time. I didn't even know what to do at all. I  wanted to use my sister's phone to call Ibrahim to tell him what had happened but I felt he will be too worried over there, I didn't want to put him in panic.
My mom told me she had informed the police, she kept on encouraging me, Johnson will be found that God was with him where he was but i still kept on weeping, the pains of my missing son was too much for me to bear.
"That's not enough, I want to go out there and look for me son", I said to my mom as I cried out.

She said, I just recovered by the Grace of God, she won't let me go out alone, that God will bring Johnson back.

"Johnson, is my son, you don't know how I'm feeling right now, he is my blood, part of me is missing right now and you expect me to sit down here, I said to my mom crying.
"I understand you. What if you had died? God forbid! Will you be here now talking about your son, God forbid", she said.
"Mommy, he is your own son also, you only know his name you haven't even seen him for once only through his pictures and here you are talking this way, Johnson doesn't even know you, you never came since he was born, and you warned me never to come to your house if I ended up with Ibrahim", I said  crying bitterly.

The next day, I wrote something in a piece of paper saying__  ```I'm sorry I just have to leave to find my son, don't bother about me, I'm fine```   My parents were in their rooms, my siblings went out, I dropped the paper on the table and sneaked out, if they knew I was leaving they won't allow me to so I had to write that so they won't think anything happened to me, so they will know I left on my own.
I had three thousand naira on me it was the money I asked from my sister earlier that morning before she went out. The bus stop wasn't far from my parent house, I trekked it. I  boarded about three cabs before I got to my house.
When I got to my house I knocked at the gate. 

"Haaaaaaa, madam! Baba God thank you ooooo! Ha! Madam i thank Baba God say you dey alive o ha! Madam that night as them come them con dey knock the gate ehnnn, na e I run to open gate to see who they there them use something cover my nose o, I no know wetin be that o when I open eyes I see say I day for floor lie down. Miriam say she dey always dey come check you o say you dey fine, Baba God I thank you say my madam dey alive, the gateman said with his kneels down and his two hands up thanking God.
Tears started flowing from my eyes.
"Haaa, madam you dey cry Haa, ok I understand na tears of Joy" he said.
I breathed in and out heavily.
"Madam, what about small oga  ur pikin, Miriam talk say she follow your brother go he house", the gateman said.
Have heard, I managed to say and walked in.
When I entered, I saw Miriam seated comfortably watching TV, she didn't even turn to look at me, she acted like she didn't see me.
Miriam! I shouted her name  crying. She looked at me and hissed and continued watching TV I couldn't believe it.
Miriam, my son is missing, I was in the hospital and here you are sitting watching TV.
She turned to look at me surprised.
"Ha! I don't know Ahmed is missing o, I think  is with your brother, I think he follow him go that day", she said managing to speak English, she spoke Yoruba most of the time, she focused back on the TV.
Miriam, I know all you did, upon all I did to you, you are treating me this way, I said crying bitterly. But she didn't say a word.
 I wished Ibrahim was there with me at that time, but I didn't still want to call him so he won't be worried where he was.
I flashed back to the day Miriam came to our house.
I told you earlier in my story, who Miriam is.
She lived in ijebu, in Ogun state. She came to spend ileya in our house a year, I loved her so much she was hardworking, nice and respectful.
After ileya festival was over, she was about leaving, I talked to Ibrahim about letting her to live with us, at first he disagreed later he  agreed.
I wanted to help her secure admission into the university but she refused saying she doesn't want to go to school she wanted to learn a hand work, I registered her in a fashion and designing school, as she wanted.

I didn't know what came over her that she changed, I walked up to my room crying. The pains were just too much for me to bear, a second part of me was missing I felt my life wasn't complete. When I entered my room, I saw blood stains on the floor, I flashed back to when the harm robbers broke in. I sat down on my bed crying.
Oh Lord, it was on the seventh day I completed my fasting this incident happened, what have I done o Lord, I said crying the more.
May be this was my punishment for marrying a muslim for disobeying my mom and offending God, I said in my mind as I cried out in pains.
Could Miriam be responsible for all this? I asked myself thinking. But what did I do to her? Did I make a mistake by accepting her to live with us? I asked myself crying bitterly in pains.
 I took my wallet on the bed there was no money in it, the harm robbers took the money in it that day. I searched for my ATM and put it in my wallet.
I needed to go in search of Johnson as that was all that mattered to me at that time. I whipped my tears and
 trekked to the nearest ATM machine, I withdrew Ten thousand naira from my account.
I stopped a bike rider and told him the police station I was going to. 
"Your money na 150 o", the bike rider said.
I nodded my head.
When we got there, I came down and gave him one thousand naira note.
"I no get change o u for tell me say na one thousand dey your hand o, na seven hundred I get, I no get N150 o", he said.
I told him to give me and go with the N150 balance.
The pains I was feeling at that time were so much.
I entered the station and made my report, I sent Johnson's picture to one of the policemen phone. They asked me a lot of questions I answered. I gave them 5,000 and left. You know policemen will always want you to drop something for them.
When I left, I went to a shop I asked for pure water, i sat on one of the chairs in front of the shop to rest.
"Ma, we also have soft drinks, different kind of delicious meals, would you love to drink or eat any?" A young girl in her teenage age asked me.
No, just pure water two, I said and sighed.
Only if she knew what I'm going through she won't be asking me such, I said in my mind as tears rolled down my eyes and I whipped it off with my hand.
I was ready to give up all I had to find Johnson at that time.
Where do I begin from? Where do I search, who do I talk to? I asked myself, defiantly not my mother in-law she hated me right from the time she knew I converted back to being a Christian.
Who is behind a this? I asked myself.
I just wish I could see you right now son, I love you so much Johnson, I said, and whipped my tears. My mind flashed back again to when the day the harm robbers came, I was calling Johnson but he didn't answer, I wished he listened. 
_What if he stayed and the harm robbers shot him also?"_ My mind asked me.
Johnson, I will see you, I kept on saying in my mind as walked out and washed my face with the pure water left.
I stopped a bike to go home.
That night when I slept I saw Johnson in my dream shouting "mommy! mommy!!" As I was running to go meet him the dream ended.

The next morning,  I managed to brush my mouth, I didn't bath before I rushed to the police station hoping Johnson would have been found with the dream I had.


PART 32
MY PAINS
© PRINCESSS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

When I got to the police station, i got a negative reply that they hadn't found Johnson. I broke down the more.

I kept on wandering all around, not knowing where I was going to, hoping I may find Johnson.
 When I got tired, I  stopped at any shop to buy pure water and rest.

"What if Johnson is dead?" My mind asked me.
No, no, no Johnson you are not dead! I screamed in my mind.
"What if he is truly dead?" My mind asked me again.
I became sacred the more as I screamed out his name, Johnson!
People around would have thought I was calling one of the kids walking on the street. 

I still kept on walking, it was like I was loosing my senses at that moment.

When it was dark I realized I didn't know where I was, it was a different place entirely. I had walked far away without realizing it.
I stopped many bike rider and told them where I was going to, but they all said they are not going there.

 One stopped and I told him where I was going to.

"Ha, for this night. o far ghon o, pay N1000, I no charge you at all na night", he said with a hard voice.

Then I realized I must have really walked far away from my house.
I agreed as it was already 7pm it was very dark on that day. 

The bike rider kept on riding on a very high speed, I pleaded on him to slow down but he didn't. 

When he reached a filling station, he stopped to buy fuel.

"Give me fuel N500", he told the lady at the filling station. 

When she was done the bike rider turned to me.
"Give me N500 first may I pay her" he said.
I checked my jean trouser pocket first, I searched myself looking for my wallet I couldn't find it, it was then I found out my purse was missing.

"Fast abeg, na night", he said.

Oh Lord help me I said, as I still kept on searching myself.

"No delay me o, if I no sef I for nor agree carry you" he said angrily with his hard voice.

Please, I can't find my wallet, I said as tears rolled down from my eyes.
"You talk say wetin, see I no dey that one o."

What am I going to do now? I asked myself in tears.
"See ehnn, I no even dey go again na half of the way I done carry you reach, just give me N500 may I dey go."

Please, there is money in my purse, but I can't find it again, I said as the tears still rolled down my face.
"Wo, funmi ni owo o" (see, give me my money o), the bike rider said.
"My money for fuel o", the lady said looking at the bike rider angrily.
"You no gree say you go pay! Na now we reach here you con dey lie say you no see  your purse, where you put the money!
I knelt down  begging him.
"You not fit deceive me o. You think say I no know say you be ashewo na man house you dey go this night, he no give you t.fare to come he house ni, no use be play o, the bike rider shouted at me angrily.

He kept on embarrassing me, till a car drove and stopped to get fuel.

"What's happening?" The man in the car asked me.
Before I could say a word the bike rider answered.
"Na all this ladies, when dem think say dem wise o. She stop say she dey go, I tell am say her money na 1k she agree. As we reach here, I stop say make I buy fuel, I con tell am say may she give me N500 I won pay person when I buy fuel, she talk say she lost her purse  say......" Before he could complete his statement, the man spoke.
"So just 1k is the problem now", the man said calmly.
I just kept mute looking, tears were still dripping from my eyes.
"Oga I no be bad person, since I no take am reach where she dey go, na N500 I go collect from am."
The man took his wallet, brought out N500 and gave the bike rider. He thanked him and rode off.
I thanked the man so much, as I was about to walk away I thought of begging the young man for transport fare to go home. As I walked closer to his car, the lady with him in the car said what hurt me more, that I couldn't ask.
"Baby please be fast, you are wasting time. You give all the time, you even paid a prostitute transport fare nonsense! Who knows if you had sleeping with her", she said angrily and hissed.
What she said hit my heart, I felt pains the more, I walked away crying. In my life I never imagined life to be hard that way for me.
If I knew, i would have listened to my mom, if I knew I won't have gone back to him that day, all this won't be happening now, i said as i cried out.
Oh Lord is all this happening to me because I'm married to a Muslim? Lord why after my seven days fasting all this started. Lord i have no right to question you, have mercy on me and bring my son back please, please, please, Lord, I said in my mind crying bitterly.
I had no phone with me, no money and I didn't know where i was also.

 I started begging people for money on the street, few gave me N5, N10, N50, the highest was N50. Some of the money were turn.
 When I counted it, I had N180. When I separated the torn ones, i had just N100. No one was going to collect a money that had turn. I  started begging car drivers and bike ridders to take me to my destination but they all turned me down. I cried bitterly than ever. I begged people from money again but they didn't answer me, only two people gave me N10 notes each.

Where do I go with N120? I asked myself as I sat down on a bench in front of a shop which had closed, other shops were still open.

Not up to thirty minutes I sat down crying,
It started becoming darker, it was becoming cloudy, breeze started to blow heavily, people started running to get to their destination, people started packing their goods in to lock their shops. It was about to rain heavily, it was during the rainy reason at that time. I didn't know where to go, before I knew it, it started raining heavily, I mean very heavily. The wind was strong.
The breeze spread the rain to where I was sitting, I statred shivering.

The rain was falling on me heavily as I walked down the road looking for a place I could stay. I made sure the money I had in my hand was intact. I got drained by the rain before I saw an uncompleted building, I decided to walk in.
"Who dey there?" A masculine voice shouted.
I became scared. He came out, pointing a touch light on me.
"Wetin you dey find?" he asked.



PART 33
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

"Wentin you dey find", he asked.

I'm sorry sir, I didn't know someone is living here sir, I said.

He looked at me well.

"How may I help you?" He asked.

Sir, I'm sorry I don't have anywhere to go now, it's raining so I thought may be I could sleep here. I'm sorry sir.
He looked at me well again, with his touch light.

He asked me a lot of questions. He said he feelt the Holy Spirit telling me to let me in. 

To cut the long story short, he let me in.

 I was surprised. At first my mind told me not to go in, another part of me said I should go in. I had no option, because I had no where else to stay. I said some prayers in my mind. I thanked him, and i entered.

 The windows of the house were covered with nylons, the floor was sandy, the walls were not plastered, some part in the house were leaking, he gave me a wooden chair to sit on.
 He opened an old curtain that had turn and  entered a place in the uncompleted building, I could see rays of light from the curtain, like a lantern or candle was on.
I heard him talking to someone, later the curtain opened again he and a woman walked out. I raised my face up immediately, looking.
Good evening, ma, i said.
 The woman replied.

"This is my wife, we live here with our only daughter, who is asleep now", the man said.
I wondered how a married man with his wife and a child could be living  in such a place.
"Yes, you are welcome, we are sorry we don't have anything to  offer you. You are soaked take my clothes and wear, change your wet cloth, she said giving me her cloths to put on.
I thanked her and took it as I was very cold.
"You can come into our room to change your clothes."
After I changed I came out.
"Bring, the gown let me ring it for you" she said.
No, thanks ma, I said but she took the  clothes from my hands. It was a  gown Ibrahim bought for me on my birthday that year, it was an expensive gown but due to the fact I wasn't okay, and I was in a hurry I opened my wardrobe and dragged it out, I didn't notice it was the gown, till she collected it from me.
"Don't fear sister, we are Christians, we believe as we have accommodated you, we have accommodated Christ into our house", she said smiling.

I truly felt christianity in them. Only a true christian would have done what they did, by accepting a stranger like me to them in.
Even though they are poor, they have joy and peace of mind their child isn't missing like mine, I said in my mind trying to hold back my tears.

They asked me a lot of questions, I answered, I only told them I was going home when the bike I entered stopped to buy fuel, asked me for my money, I noticed I lost my purse  a man paid my transport fare the money I begged wasn't enough to take me home, was all I told them.

 I spent the night there.

The next morning at 7am. To cut the story shorter,  Their daughter came out crying that morning, that she was hungry. I pitted the little girl.

"The money I was expecting today 1,500 from the work I did I called the man today he said he has travelled, I don't know now but don't worry I will go meet a friend of mine to see if he can help me, the man said calmly and sighed.
I was surprised.
"No sir, don't worry you have really helped me sir, I will find my way, I said.
But he still insisted and left.
Their daughter was still crying. The woman her mother, was at the back yard of the house. I remembered I had N120 in my pocket gown I went to where she spread the gown in the house brought out the money and gave it to the little girl who was like five years, to go get something to eat, she accepted it happily running to go tell her mom, I got up to leave without telling the woman I was living, if  I did she would have forced me to wait for her husband but I didn't want a poor family to go into debt because they had to help me, they had helped me enough.

Luckily enough, when I came out I saw a man who agreed to drive me home without me paying. It was like God sent him to be that day. I thanked him so much than ever that day.
When I got in, i saw Miriam cooking. I asked her to borrow me N300 that I will use for transport fare to go to the police station and come, to know if they had gotten any information about Johnson. But she just looked at me and hissed. I didn't say a word to her, I left quietly. I went to my gateman, I told him I lost my ATM card and I needed N300  that I was out of cash, i felt there was no need explaining things in details to him, as it will waste my time and there was noting he could do to help the situation. He gave me N500, that he didn't have N300.

I got to the police station hoping to get a positive reply, but I got a negative one.

 I felt  pains the more, I broke down the more crying. I flashed back to the time the harm robbers came. The pains were just too much for me to bear.
"Johnson is dead", my mind kept on telling me.
But he harm robbers didn't killl him, I said in my mind crying.
"What if they killed him and took him away after you were shot", my mind told me.
 I couldn't bear the pains as my mind kept on telling me Johnson was dead.
On my way going home, I turned to my left to a shop to get pure water.
I saw a container, I knew it was a dangerous chemical as it was inscribed on it that it could kill all types of reptiles.
"Commit suicide to end your pains. Johnson is dead", my mind kept on telling me as I waited for the woman to get me the pure water I asked for.


PART 34
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

"Commit suicide, so your pains will end", my mind kept on telling me.
I flashed back to Joyce who betrayed me, if i had married Abel all this won't be happening to me, I said in my mind as tears rolled down my face.
 I flashed back to the last time I saw Johnson. The pains increased the more, it was like it wasn't going to end but increase the more.
Lord.....! I screamed in my mind, in tears. I whipped my tears with my hands.
 If I just commit suicide and die, I won't feel pains anymore, I said in my mind. 
The pains were too much for me to bear. I made up my mind to buy the chemical and i paid for it. I walked to a place where no one would easily see me. 
"Thou shall not commit suicide", my mind kept on telling me.
The pains were too much for me to bear, as my mind kept on telling me Johnson was dead already.I couldn't stand the pains, at the same time I was scared of committing suicide.
"If you commit suicide, you shall go to hell", my mind said to me.
I became scared the more. 
But the pains were just too much for me to bear. I had lost my own son I was really broken. I shanked 
 the bottle and opened it, as tears rolled down my eyes.
I put it closer to my mind, I stopped.  I did it again and stopped, I broke down crying.
I took up courage and drank a bit of it. I wanted to drink more but fear gripped me. I got out of the place I hid and started walking on the main road at least when I give up people would easily see my body. As I stood on the road about to cross, a car drove and passed me. The car reserved and drove back to the direction I was, it was a taxi. I walked passed the car. I noticed someone was following me at my back, I turned back to look at who it was, lo and behold it was Ibrahim, he just arrived to Nigeria. We both stood still looking at each other.
This is the last time I will be seeing you. I'm sorry dear, I can't bear the pains anymore, I said in my mind as tears rolled down from my eyes heavily.
"Baby, are you the one?" Ibrahim asked me with his eyes fixed on me.
I nodded my head in tears. It was hard for him to recognise me, I was putting on a different cloth entirely, my hair was scattered, I looked so thin, I was looking darker and worn out. He walked up to me.
"What happened?" He asked me, hugging me tightly to himself.
As I was about to talk, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach down to my abdomen, I screamed out.
"What's wrong? What's wrong? Ibrahim asked in fear.
I started coughing out blood.

I opened my eyes to find myself in the hospital. It was all like a dream to me, as I tried to recollect what had happened to me and It was like i heard a voice say... "it's not yet time for you to come."
 I'm very sure God gave me a second chance to live. 

Ibrahim walked in and came closer to me on the bed.
"Thank God you are alive, what happened? Talk to me, the doctor said you took a poisonous substance", he said.
I started crying again.
"Baby please talk to me, please."

Johnson, is missing, I told him.
"I don't understand", he said looking confused.
Johnson, is missing I don't know where he is again, I told him crying.
"How? Since when?" He asked me.
I managed to narrate all to him, he was shocked.

"I said it, I said it something was wrong. At a time I kept on calling you but it wasn't reachable. I called my dad, he came to our house the next day, he told me Miriam said you went to your parents house with Ahmed, that you were fine just that you lost your phone. I had no rest of mind that's why I decided to leave yesterday", he said with his two hands on his head faced down. 

When he looked up I saw his eyes looking reddish he was just trying to hold back his tears as a man.
"Who so ever did this will be exposed, I will get to the root of this matter" he said.

The pains were so much, it was like the whole world was crashing on me, my only beloved child and son was missing, it was like half of me was gone already. I laid down on the bed weeping, Ibrahim kept on consoling me to be strong.


PART 35
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

"Don't cry baby please. Don't give hope, we are going to find our so ok", he said, holding my hand tightly to his chest.
I can't bear the pains anymore, you should have just let me die ok, if I were to be dead now I won't be feeling any pains now, I said crying.
"Never, never, you won't die, don't repeat such again."

When I was discharged from the hospital, we boarded a cab to go home. He held me close to himself, we didn't say a word till we got home. When we got home he was surprised to see the house disarranged. I flashed back to the day the harm robbers came I broke down and started crying. Ibrahim was consoling me.

"Miriam! Miriam, he called her name twice but there was no response. He walked up to her room angrily. He came back with a paper in his hand, he was looking at the paper seriously.
"This a report from the hospital, showing Miriam is two weeks pregnant", he said in anger.
I didn't care as that wasn't my concern, all that concerned me at that time was to see my son. He walked up to her, to put back the paper. He sat on the chair and covered his face with his two hands, he was just trying to strong. I sat down crying.

We went to  different police stations to make a report. They Ibrahim and i a lot of questions, we answered. They assured us they will look into the matter and Johnson will be found. Two other policemen followed us home, to guide our house for safety reasons.

When we got home, Ibrahim called his parent and told them all that happened. 

I sat down on the stairs leading to the rooms, crying, Ibrahim walked up to me, whipping my tears and petting me.  

When Miriam walked in, she was shocked on seeing him. She greeted him but he didn't answer. She walked up to her room silently.

That night as I slept I had a dream. 
"Mommy, I love you", Johnson said in my dream.
As I was running to carry him, a wind came and took him up. I woke up immediately, crying. Ibrahim, got up too immediately, he wasn't sleeping. I didn't sleep that night, Ibrahim kept on consoling me.

The next day, Ibrahim's parents arrived, they looked sad. The way his mom replied to my greeting I could tell his mom still disliked me because I wasn't a Muslim, but that was not the time for her to really show it. His mom and dad talked to us, they couldn't believe it. They thanked God I survived the gun shot. They also told us they had been praying since yesterday when they heard the story of what happened from Ibrahim.

 After talking for a long time of talking and consoling, Ibrahim told his parents Miriam was pregnant, they were surprised.

An hour later, Miriam walked in.
"Where are you coming from? Ibrahim's mom yelled at her immediately she walked in.
His dad was looking at her in great anger. 
"So you lied to me, Miriam!" Ibrahim's dad yelled at her.
She was shriving in fear. His parents didn't take it lightly with her at all that day. She apologized for lying to his dad. She said she lied to him so he won't be worried, she didn't want anything to happen to him that's why she lied. She also confessed that, our gate man Idris, was the responsible for her pregnancy.

 That day his mom sent Miriam and our gateman out of the house. His mom have her transport fare to go back to her parent house. I knew Miriam won't go back to her parents, out of the shame that she was pregnant. I felt pity for Miriam, even though she later changed towards me I still had human feelings. I pleaded on Ibrahim to talk to his mom to change her mind as she was pregnant, but Ibrahim didn't say a word.
His parent tried, their possible best to also do things to make sure Johnson was found. They assured us that Johnson would be found before they left the next day.

Me and Ibrahim were left alone in the house, we kept of waiting for our phones to ring to get a positive reply from the policemen but they didn't call. Ibrahim picked up his phone and called but they told him they still had not find any trace of Jonson, that we should still be patient.


 PART 36
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

I felt so heart broken, the more I kept on flashing back the more my fears and pains increased.

I thought of Miriam, i imagined where she was, may be on the road sleeping. I knew there was no way she would go to her parent house. I took my new phone Ibrahim got for me to call her. We spoke on the phone, she begged me asking me to forgive her, If Christ can forgive us our sins, who am I not to forgive you, I told Miriam.

 I transferred money to her, to rent a one room accommodation and I also sent money to her for her upkeep. She thanked me so much.

Three days later she called me that she had gotten an accommodation, and she had also gotten a cleaner job in a secondary school. She thanked me, encouraged me and prayed for me that I will find my son.

Things were just becoming worst for me day by day as my pains increased more. I sat down everyday crying, I hardly ate.

"What will you eat?" Ibrahim asked.
Am not hungry, I replied him as tears were rolling down my face.
"We will find our son, don't cry. I don't like to see you this way at all, we will find Ahmed, the police are trying their best to investigate the matter." He kept on encouraging me. He went out to get food in an eatery, he forced me to eat as usual.

A month later, Johnson was still no where to be found, Ibrahim employed a maid to do the house chores, as I was too depressed to do anything. She had come to serve me food one day when she saw me crying..
"Madam, please don't cry, God will bring back your son, noting is too late for God to do. I'm praying also and I believe he will be back", the maid said trying to encourage me also. I really liked her. 

 Sometimes in my dream I saw Johnson dead, sometimes I  saw him alive, i will wake up and start crying again, Ibrahim will be up consoling me till I managed to sleep back.

Anytime the maid served our food on the dining table, I do tell her to make it three, I will place Johnson plate with food on the table beside his dad where he always sat down to eat, he wasn't there but I do feel like he was there, at this time I will start crying again flashing back to when we do eat happily as one family. Ever since Johnson got lost, there was no more Joy in the house, I couldn't even remember the last time I smiled let alone of laughing.

One night I woke up and screamed.

"What happened? What's wrong? Are you ok?" Ibrahim kept on asking me before I replied him.
I saw Johnson, in my dream dead again, I said.
He sighed.
 "You believe he is dead, that's what you think before you sleep, that's why you are having such dreams. Ahmed is alive ok and we will find him, I know", he said petting me. He was right, what I thought of before sleeping, was always what I dreamt off.

The police were still giving us negative reply.

I will always go to Johnson's room, his things in his room will make me remember him the more, and the more I did the more I broke down, the more my pains increased.

 I was in his room one day crying and suddenly I couldn't breath well, I was gasping for breath.

"What happened? Baby, please don't leave me, please, don't, Ibrahim said almost in tears. 
He rushed me to the hospital, before i regained myself.

Two months later, we had almost given up. Things were not as they used to be again, ever since Johnson was gone, there was no more Joy no matter how hard Ibrahim tried to cheer me up, I still remained cold and quite.

 I came out after a long time to mover around the house, I walked to back of the house, to the swimming pool side to sit down. I saw one of Johnson's car toy, i bent down to pick it, crying. The evening before the harm robbers came, Johnson and I were sitting at the back of the house, I read a story to him, when I was done he thanked me and went ahead to play with his toy car. That night was when the harm robbers came. I flashed back to the last time I saw Johnson, I felt a hard pain in my chest, I laid down on the ground crying. I felt pains the more, like it was just yesterday Johnson got missing. A thought came to my mind that I should just jump into the swimming pool and commit suicide. I managed to gather strength, i got up and walked to the swimming pool looking at the water, I turned back to look at Johnson's toy car again.
"Jump in", my mind kept on telling me.
" Don't!", another part of me said.
I just felt like my life should end, as I couldn't bear the pains of my missing child, my own blood. I heard footsteps walking towards me, I turned to look.
"Have been looking for you. Please don't do that please", Ibrahim said as he walked up to me quickly and held me.
Leave me, I cried out.
"Please, don't leave me. Johnson is gone and now you also want to leave me, don't do such, if not I will end up committing suicide, Ibrahim said as tears rolled down from his face.
We both hugged each other, crying.

Four months and two weeks Johnson was still missing, any single hope of seeing him had died off already. I accepted my fate, I was  getting strong already. I was in my room one day sitting on my bed when Ibrahim opened the door and came in. He told me what shocked me, I couldn't believe it.
"There is something I want to tell you, he said.
Go ahead sweetheart, I said smiling, from the look of his face I could tell it was very serious.
"My mom wants me to marry another wife", he said.
I don't understand you, I said confused and surprised.
"My mom wants me to take another lady as my wife."
And you want to? I asked him.
"Yes, I want to."
You are joking right? Tears were almost rolling down my face.
"No, I'm not. But I haven't seen her yet", he said.
And you want to marry her? I asked him.
"My mom gave me her number, not up to a month, we had been chatting."
What's her name?
"Aliya", Ibrahim said.
Oh she's a Muslim, I said as tears rolled down my eyes. I couldn't believe Ibrahim I loved, would be leaving me for someone else.
Ibrahim, tell me you joking ok. You are hurting me already, I said weeping.
 He showed me their chats, I still couldn't believe.
"Don't cry ok, please. I'm a Muslim I can marry more than one wife, I still love you", he said as he placed his hand on my shoulder, I removed his hand immediately in anger.
"Am a Muslim, I can marry more than one wife, I repeated Ibrahim's statement in my mind crying, as I flashed back to when we were still in the university, one evening we were together in his car going out, we were talking about something when he Jokingly said..."I'm a Muslim, I can marry more than one wife." I wanted to confront him at the statement he made that day but I took it as a joke and we both laughed over it. 
I sighed. After all it was true, Ibrahim is a muslim he can marry more than one wife, I said In my mind crying.
 I wished I had never met him, my heart was totally shattered at that moment, my heart was more than broken, I wish I had listened to my mom. I was beginning to understand why my mom was against me marrying Ibrahim, i thought she only cared about her feelings and not mine but at that time I realized it was my feelings she actually cared for. I wished i never loved Ibrahim, I wished I never listened to Joyce's advice that day she told me to go see him after a long time we departed.
Ibrahim came closer to me, I pushed him away, he left to the living room.
I sat down crying bitterly, trying to think if I did anything to hurt him. 
After a while, I decided to go meet him in the living room. As I was coming down the stairs, he looked up at me, he saw me crying and turned his face away to the movie he was watching. How hurt the more I felt. Who I loved so much with all of me was treating me that way. 


 PART 37
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

Please, I love you don't treat me this way. What I have done to you? Tell me i promise to  change. Please, don't do such to me, we made a promise we were going to fight through, no matter what comes our way. If only you could feel how hurt i'm right now you won't do this to me, I told him crying.
 He didn't say a word he kept on looking at me.

Ibrahim, please talk to me please. I'm sorry. I never cheated on you, i love you with all that's in me. Please don't this to me, you are hurting me, you are breaking my heart, please.. I said crying.
"Have heard you. I'm sorry. I love her, he said.
Remember, you said you were destined to only have one child, which you didn't even let me know till later on and now you want to take another lady as your wife, I said, holding him crying and pleading.
"Fuck that. I want Aliya because I love her. Love conquers all, and if Aliya can't have a child for me, we will adopt one and i'm sure she will be happy with that. She loves me. She is not a murderer like you, who tried to terminate our own son before he was born", he said.
Ibrahim, i'm sorry. Don't call me a murderer, please. I don't know what came over me then. I love Johnson he is my blood, even though he is lost now.
"I don't have anything more to say", he said.
Please, i love you if you do such I might end up committing suicide. I love you, I said crying.
He didn't say a word.
 Ibrahim, you suddenly just changed, what's wrong with you? I can't believe you the one saying all this, I know something is wrong.
"Noting is wrong with me, i know what i'm doing", Ibrahim said.
I kept mute for a while sobbing.

If you are taking Aliya because she's a muslim, i'm ready to convert into a full muslim, I said crying bitterly.
He removed my hands from him. "That is too late now", he said  walked away.
But we agreed religon won't be a barrier between both of us.
 I cried out, but he didn't say a word.

I lost my one and beloved only child and son, i lost half of me. Ibrahim was getting another wife, my pains at that time wasn't something to be explained. I felt like dying. 
Do you know how it feels like for your own child to be lost? Do you know how it feels like, for the one you truly love with your heart to just leave you suddenly for someone else, someone you scarified all for in the name of love, just suddenly changes and starts treating you bad. At that time if i closed my eyes, I wished never open to open them again to see the world. I wished my own soul could just walk out of me and go to rest, so i won't feel not even a single pain again. Since Johnson my son was lost, death wasn't anything to me, I was ready for it. I felt the world was a wicked place to live.

Oh Lord! Why after my seventh day fasting to you all this started? I cried out but i got no reply. At that time, i didn't care questioning God, if he was to take my life, I was ready.
 My mom was against my marriage she hated me because i married a muslim, Joyce betrayed me, my son was lost, Ibrahim was about getting married to someone else. What was the essence of still living.
 I flashed back to the family who accommodated me on that day rain was falling, they lived in love and peace even as they were very poor i wished i had a family like that. What was the essence of enjoying wealth, when I was living in pains, is there any word more than "pains" I would have used the word instead.

At a time it was like Ibrahim had forgotten he had a child that was lost, and he acted like i wasn't there at all. 
Only me enduring my pains, there was no one I could pour my heart to.

The first day Aliya came into the house, her mouth were wide open looking all around.
She cooked for him that day, they talked, watched movies before she left. I couldn't stand seeing them together, I just had to act like i was okay, but it was still obvious that I wasn't.
She kept on visiting him.

At a time, Aliya finally packed few of her things into the house, as Ibrahim had wanted her to. She was using the guest room. Aliya wasn't that kind of lady that will want to push a man's first wife away, she respected me and treated me well, before she used anything in the house she would ask for my permission, even the first day she cooked for him, she asked me first if she could use the kitchen. When Ibrahim got to know she always took permission from me first, he warned her never to do such, that she was free, the house belonged to both of them.

One evening I managed to go to church. When i returned i walked up to my room, as i was about to open the door, i heard both of them talking.
 I couldn't believe it Aliya had moved into our main room, me and Ibrahim's room.
I was surprised and dumbfounded. I sat down on the floor at the front of the door crying out my pains.
"But this you and your wife room. Won't she be angry", I heard Aliya ask Ibrahim.
"Yes, but you are now my wife to be, so this is now our room. She can use the guest room, or her son's room. I told you about Ahmed that got lost."
"Yes, you did, but i am not yet your wife", She said.
"C'mon baby don't say that, I don't like it."
I pushed the door open, both of them were lying on the bed. Ibrahim held her closely to himself. Ailya got up look at me, she was scared, may be she thought I was going to harm her. I took up courage to speak, "it's okay don't be scared. You are his wife to be also, i said to her, acting like i was okay. I didn't want any trouble. I decided to act strong, but deep down in me was hurt, my heart was bleeding.
I packed my clothes and other of my things from the room that day to Johnson's room. I wasn't ready to fight like other women would do. I knew fighting would change noting, but cause me more harm if I did. I would have gone out there in world looking for Johnson, if I could see him, rather than fighting Ibrahim over a woman. 
It was all my fault I said to myself, as I has learned a lot and a lot of lessons. I knew that wasn't the real Ibrahim i married he loved me so much, but I didn't know what happened. No matter how hard I tried to figure it out, i couldn't figure out why he changed.

I laid down on Johnson's bed crying. The maid in the house came, advising me to be strong. She was a woman in her 40s.

Ibrahim, never cared If i was there or not, in my presence he will hug and kiss her. He will take her out, buy her a lot of expensive things. She made Ibrahim to start going to mosque regularly, they will go together and return together.

 I lived everyday crying in pains, it wasn't easy for me at all.

It was a month Aliya had moved in. 
One morning i woke up, i started to think of where to begin from.
I knew if i stayed longer, I would die of depression and no one would care. My life was left to me only.  I brushed my teeth, and managed to take my bath. It was time for me to be strong. I decided to go back to my house i was living when I was still single. The house was built by my dad, after my NYSC my dad gave me the house to be living, he sent the tenants away that year as they were owing him a rent of almost three years. When I felt bored living alone then, I would go to my parents house and spend time there. I packed all my things in my boxes, i packed Jonson's own also. I carried each box down the stairs carefully into my car. As I was packing, i heard Aliya ask Ibrahim why i was leaving.
"Have been wanting her to go, i didn't just want to tell her because of all she had been through. We will have the house all to ourselves now baby. Let her go", I heard Ibrahim say. I wasn't surprised, the way he treated me had been a sign for me to leave, but I was just being patient, as they say one needs to be patient in life, but I couldn't be patient any longer, i had to move on and be strong.
When i was done packing, i was
 about entering my car to leave, when Aliya approached me.
"Why are you leaving? Please don't leave, she said. 
I sighed.
"Did Ibrahim send you away?" she asked.
"Aliya, you can't understand. Have been through a lot, i said as tears rolled down my face.
"I understand, but please don't leave", Aliya said.
Ibrahim's reaction since had been a sign that he doesn't want me again. You know what?
"What?" She asked curiously.
You and Ibrahim really make a perfect match, you both are muslims also, you will understand each other better the more. I'm Christian. It was all my fault though, I said forcing a fake smile as tears were still rolling down my face.
"But please, don't still go" Aliya pleaded.
I sighed.
it's time for me to be strong, i said.
The gateman and the maid, came also pleading on me that I shouldn't leave, saying they don't understand why Ibrahim suddenly changed also.
I thought Ibrahim  would come out and change his mind but he didn't.
I just have to leave, i told them as I entered my car and drove off.
It was time to get over Ibrahim and be strong, I said in my mind as my tears kept on rolling down without stopping. I didn't know how i managed to drive, but i got to my house safely. I opened the gate and drove in.
It's time to be strong, i told myself again as I managed to fake a smile, crying bitterly.


PART 38
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

When i got in, the house was very dusty i had to clean the place starting from the sitting room. When i got to my room, i saw a picture of me and Ibrahim on my bed, i took the picture looking at it crying. 
"Ibrahim doesn't love you anymore. You have to get over me", my mind told me.  I destroyed the picture completely, in pains and anger.

After i managed to clean the house, i packed all may boxes in.

After a while, i took out the clothes me and Ibrahim had together, anything that could remind me of him and set the things on fire. As i felt the first stage to get over someone was to put away all that could remind you of the person. As the things were burning, i flashed back to all the good times we had together, i could not hold back my tears for once. 

In the evening, i stood looking at my mirror, i looked so slim. " You have to be strong", I kept on telling myself, as i cried.

Later, i went to get some food stuff. As i was returning, i saw a young couple with their little son, i flashed back to when Ibrahim and i with Johnson do go out, tears started to roll down my face. When I got home i managed to cook, i severed myself the food in plate, i couldn't eat much, i had no appetite. I pushed the plate away, crying. I checked my phone to see if Ibrahim called. You know how it feels like, when someone you love treats you badly, but you still keep on checking your phone hoping to receive a call or a message from that person, because you are still in love, even though you are hurt. There was no missed call from him.
Truly, he is in love with Aliya, i told myself as my tears increased the more. 
"Be strong", my mind kept on telling me but my heart was bleeding.
"I will be strong", I do tell myself, but it wasn't easy. I deleted Ibrahim's two numbers from my phone. But i still knew it, i felt tempted to still type his number and dial it, but i didn't.

The next day when i woke up, i prayed a short prayer of not more than two minutes. When i saw done, i still laid on my bed, flashing back.
I disobeyed my mom now i am facing the consequences. Now it's time for me to stand alone, i said to myself, as I cried out. I managed to get out of bed, brushed my teeth and took my bath. 
Where do I begin from? I asked myself, when my phone rang. I looked at my phone, it was Kazeem, Ibrahim's cousin  that was calling me. I whipped off my tears and picked up the call.

Me: Hello.
Kazeem: Hello, how you doing?
Me: I'm okay.
Kazeem: Are you sure?
Me: it's well.
Kazeem: I heard all that happened. I came to your house yesterday, Ibrahim told me.
Me: Yeah.
Kazeem: I'm really sorry. I understand how you feel now, loosing your son, Ibrahim getting married to another lady, i know it's really painful but please try and me strong.
Me: I'm trying.
Kazeem: Please, don't cry, it's well. I tried talking to Ibrahim but he didn't listen to me. I talked to him so much, yesterday.
Me: it's well.
Kazeem: Take heart. Please, be strong. I just pray Ibrahim comes back to his right senses.
Me: I hope so too.
Kazeem: Because, i see no reason why a man in his right senses will send a beautiful, loving and respect woman like you away.
Me: it's okay, Ibrahim has made up his mind, it was all my fault.
Kazeem: Don't cry, please. Noting, was your fault. All will be well.
Me: I hope so.
Kazeem: Don't hope so, believe.
Me: Have heard you.
Kazeem: You are still crying.
Me: No
Kazeem: Stop lying, i can hear that through the phone. Where are you now?
Me: In my house.
Kazeem: No one is with you right now?
Me: No
Kazeem: That's really bad, you need someone at your side at this time.
Me: Have got no one.
Kazeem: it's well. You are still crying. Where are you now? I mean send me your house address, I will come see you today.
Me: Ok, i will text it to you.
Kazeem: Alright, i'm expecting it. Don't cry again, don't think too much. All will be well.
Me: Thank you.
Kazeem: You don't need to thank me. Shey oti jeun ni (Have you eaten?)
Me: No, have not.
Kazeem: This 9:09am, please try and take something.
Me: I will try.
Kazeem: Promise?
Me: yeah.
Kazeem: Don't cry again, clean your tears please.
Me: Thank you so much.
Kazeem: You don't need to. Take very good care of yourself, ok?
Me: Ok.
Kazeem: Bye for now.
Me: Bye.

Three hours later, kazeem arrived. He got me something to eat, when i refused to eat he fed me by force. He tried to cheer me up, before he left at evening time.

"Oh Lord, grant Kazeem a good woman, he is really nice, nice people like him deserve nice people. Unlike Ibrahim, i said in my mind that day as he left.

 He never stopped calling everyday since then.

I cried so much all day no matter how hard i tried to be myself, no matter how hard kazeem tried to console me i still broke down.

One morning, i decided not to sit at home crying. I took my bath and headed to my car to drive to my boutique.  I  left my boutique in charge of people taking care of it for me. Ever since i lost Johnson, i had not been there. My manager was really doing a great job, managing my business for me.
When i got there, my workers ran out happily to greet me, they were all happy, seeing me. I was nice to them, they liked me so much.
"Madam, i like your car o", one of my sales girl said.
I just smiled, if only she knew what i was passing through, what was the car to me when i had lost my joy.
I wish i could be happy like you also, i told her. She was kind of shocked at my statement. If i could sell my house, my car, give all i had to get back my son, i won't even think twice before doing it, but money couldn't buy Joy. My state of depression was very high. If you had been in my position before you will understand. I so much wished I had listened to my mom. 
 When i got in, went through the sales book, the records and all. I appreciated my workers and they were all happy. I didn't leave till 6pm that day.
That's how I continued going to my boutique and returning in the evening. It wasn't easy, but i was trying to become strong.


PART 39
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

I just returned home one evening, i was about opening my door when my phone rang. It was Kazeem, he never forgot to call me.
Me: Hello.
Kazeem: Hello, how are you?
Me: I'm okay and you?
Kazeem: I'm very good. I guess you are back, how was work today?
Me: It was okay, i just got home.
Kazeem: Your voice still sounds down, when are you going to be strong?
Me: I am trying my best, thanks  for always trying to cheer me up.
Kazeem: I think you going to work and coming back all day, isn't helping you at all.
Me: It's well, what else will i do na.
Kazeem: I suggest we go out, i want to take you out tomorrow. You need to move around, make friends so you will get over all this quickly. You staying all alone isn't helping, you know depression kills.
Me: Yeah, i know.
Kazeem: So what do you say? I don't even need to ask you, get ready i'm coming to pick you by 11am tomorrow.
Me: I'm not really in the mood to go out this days.
Me: That's where you go again, that's where the problem lies. C'mon you really need to move out. I'm coming tomorrow.
Me: I understand you, thanks for your care.
Kazeem: it's nothing. I know how caring and loving  you were to my brother  before he fucked up, and i still respect you for that, such women like you deserve to be treated well. Have tried so much talking to Ibrahim but don't worry, all is well.
Me: Yeah.
Kazeem: Cheer up ok, what will you eat for dinner?
Me: I don't know what to prepare, I will cook later.
Kazeem: You had better now what to cook now and make sure you eat well.
Me: Alright, have heard you.
Kazeem: Alright, take care.
Me: Yeah.
Kazeem: Bye.
Me:Bye.

I had no appetite to eat so i didn't cook. I laid down on my bed crying. I missed Johnson so much and i still loved Ibrahim, i never knew he could change.  
I kept hoping may be he will call or message me one day but he never did, and it hurt me the more.

The next day, Kazeem arrived at 11:30am and took me out.

This an hotel, I said to Kazeem as he drove in.
"Yeah, i checked in here for about two months now", kazeem said.
Why? I asked.
"We will talk about that later. We can eat, drink and talk in the hostel's eatery."
Oh, it has an eatery?
"Yeah, and there are many out door and indoor games we could play together. I really want to see you happy again, you have suffered a lot."
 I sighed. 
We both came down and he locked the car, he made sure the car was well locked.
"Come, let's go in", he said.
Have noticed you are so security conscious, i said to him.
"Yeah of course", he said and smiled.
We got in and sat down, it was a table for two.
"So what would you love to take?" He asked me.
Am okay, i don't have the appetite to take anything.
"There you go again, look at you looking so slim. C'mon you have got to take something" he said.
 He made an order for food, drinks and snacks, for the both of us, in less than 10minutes, it was brought to us. 
Kazeem started eating.
"Won't you eat?" he asked.
I told you i don't have the appetite to eat now.
"You want me to feed you?"
No, i will eat later.
"Since you don't want me to, then eat now."
I managed to eat, i didn't finish it. I drank half of the drink, i forced myself to, as I felt he would feel bad if i didn't eat or drink.
Am okay now, thanks, i said, pushing the plate of food aside.
"Good, at least you ate something."
"Let's take a picture" he said. 
He took his phone.
I don't feel like, i said.
He looked at me angrily, and i agreed. We both took pictures together.
"Let's move to the bar", Kazeem said.
We went together to the bar of the hotel, we both sat down, he ordered for an alcohol drink and a cigarette. I watched him as he lit the cigarette. I wasn't surprised, have seen Kazeem smoked many times when he used to spend the weekends at Ibrahim's house. When we weren't married then, i  spent most the weekend at his house then.
"Would you love to?" He asked. Giving me a cigarette. I shifted back, i hated the smell of it.
(Laughing) I'm just joking, Kazeem said still laughing.
"You don't drink alcohol too, do you?"
No, I don't, i replied him.
He laughed.
You bought a house of your own then, why are you living in an hotel, i asked him.
"Yeah i did. You know i lost my job, after you and Ibrahim got married", he said.
Yeah, i said as my mind flashed back to the day we got married, the day my mom wasn't happy at all. My countenance change and he noticed it.
" I'm sorry for reminding you, forgive me please."
It's okay, go ahead.
"When i lost my job ..... You know", he said
Yeah i know. Ibrahim was the one supporting you with finance, i completed his statement.
He nodded his head.
"Yeah, after a while i met a group of friends, who introduced me to a business i'm still doing till now", he said smoking and drinking.
Wow, you must be really making a lot of money in the business.
"You think so?" He asked smiling.
Yeah, i replied and he laughed.
So what kind of business is that?
"We will talk about that later. Do you mind if we go play some games now?" He asked.
 I don't feel like, i said.
"It's okay", he said.
I took my phone and put on my data. I was scrolling through Instagram, when I saw Kazeem posted the pictures we snapped together, i became angry.
"What's wrong?" He asked when he noticed the anger on my face.
Why did you post the picture we both took together?
"Is there anything wrong with that?"
Of course, yes.
"How?"
"What do you want people to say if they see the picture, what do you want Ibrahim to say, sure he will think we both have something to do together.
"Why do you care what people will say? Do we have anything to do together?"
Nooo...
"So?"
But....
"But what?"
I don't like this at all.
"If it's about what Ibrahim is going to say, let me show you something", he said as he took his phone, and unlocked it.
"Read those chats", he said giving me his phone.
Tears rolled down my face as I read the chats. It was a chat between kazeem and Ibrahim. Kazeem told Ibrahim how I was feeling and how I still loved him. He was begging him to change his mind and come back to me but Ibrahim refused. What hurt the most was when Kazeem told Ibrahim he would be taking me out to get over my depression state, Ibrahim replied him saying...
" ```Hey bro, you can take her anywhere you want to i'm done with her, you can make her yours if you wish to. I love Aliya"``` 
I couldn't control myself, i broke down crying in the public. That message hit my heart, i felt like i was just heart broken that moment.
"I'm trying my best to make you happy and you are hurting me in return", he said and took  his phone from me.
I'm sorry, i managed to say.
"Let's go to my room please. All eyes are on us now" he said stretching his hand to mine.
Don't touch me please, i said crying. I didn't care if people were looking or not.


PART 40
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

"Why are you so hard like this? Let's go now, Kazeem said.
I still sat down crying, recalling Ibrahim's messages. It hurt me so much.
"It's okay, i understand how you feel okay. Let's go so you can rest", Kazeem said using his hand to whip my tears.
I removed his hand.
"What is it again?"
I want to be alone, please.
"There you just go again, look at yourself, you want to die because of a man that doesn't love you anymore."
His last statement hurt me the more.
Enough of it please, i said to him.
"Have heard you. Can we go now? He asked stretching his hand to hold mine.
I pushed his hand away.
"What sort of character is this?"
Kazeem, i appreciate the fact you are trying your best to cheer me up, but please I want to be alone now, i said crying.
"Wow, i see, i'm disturbing you right?"
You are not, please, i said to kazeem.
He was still persuading me, i got up angrily and left.
"You can go, we will still meet again, dear. Take care of yourself", he said as i walked away angrily, crying.

It wasn't easy for me at all. I was living a single, lonely and depressed life. No matter how hard i tried to be strong, i still broke down crying.

Later, i started attending a church not far from my house, my prayer was for God to make me happy. I believed Johnson was dead already, i felt it was just meant to happen that way, may be it was my punishment, and i am carrying the cross. I kept on praying for God to bring back Ibrahim to me, because i still love him, you know how it feels when you love someone even upon how the person hurts you, you still want such person.

 Later i, summoned on courage to be strong, i stopped praying for God to bring him back. All i wanted at that time, was to be  happy.
 After all, no man would love a lady like me who was once married  and had a child before. If there was any, it will be a man who was once married too with children, i thought to myself one night, crying.

One evening i returned from church, i was searching for something in my wardrobe, when I saw a necklace, Ibrahim got for me then, i held it looking at it, i flashed back to the day he got it for me, how happy we were then. I flashed back to Johnson also, i broke down crying. I started to sing...
 ```"Dependable, dependable God,
It doesn't matter what comes my way you are still God,
Intention, intention God,
Everything is working upon my good```
Is everything really working upon my good? I asked myself as i cried out bitterly, I was feeling the pains again.

Some months later.


PART 41
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

Some months later.

I was in my living room sitting, my mind flashed back to Joyce and Abel.
They must be living happily now even as she betrayed me. Lord who did i offend to deserve all this i'm going trough, I said in my mind as tears rolled down my eyes and i whipped it off with my hands.
 I decided to login on my Instagram to see how fine they were doing.
The must have had about two kids now, i said to myself, as i took my phone. As I  was just scrolling through Instagram, i saw a picture of Ibrahim and Aliya, they were having a nice time outside the country, I was so surprised, tears rolled down my face. I screenshot  the picture and  unfollowed Ibrahim.

I later opened my gallery, looking at the picture, the pains came again, i was shedding tears, i felt the pains again in my heart.

I later deleted the picture immediately.
 I wished i had not gone to meet Ibrahim on that day, as Joyce persuaded me to.

I went through Abel's page on Instagram to see how both of them were doing. 
I saw different videos of Abel healing people, videos of him preaching, different pictures of he and Joyce.
They are really living happy, i said to myself as tears rolled down my eyes. I still kept on scrolling down till I saw what shocked me deeply, I couldn't believe it at all.
I saw Jonson's picture, he was on the same pyjamas he wore that day the harm robbers came.

 _"I was going some where one day, early in the morning, when the Holy spirit told me to reverse and pass another lane. I didn't know where the lane was leading to I was confused, I decided not to reserve, the spirit of the Lord spoke to me again to take a different lane, I had no option than to listen to the Spirit. The Holy spirit kept on showing me direction, I drove for about an hour and half, I was so confused I didn't know where I was going to, then the Spirit of God told me to pack my car and come down I obeyed. I didn't know where the spirit of God was leading me too. The spirit of God told me to look forward, I saw this boy sitting on the road side, the Spirit of God told me to walk up to child, I almost didn't want to but I had no option than to obey the spirit of God. I walked up to this little boy. I asked him why he was sitting on the road side at that time of the day, he only told me he wants to go home and meet his mummy. Please who so ever know this little boy should come for him with evidence."_ 
That was what Abel tagged with Jonson's picture.
I couldn't believe it, so Johnson is alive heal and healthy, I said to myself as tears of Joy rolled down my face, I was so speechless, it was really like a dream to me but it was real.
Indeed, God really works in a miraculous way that is different from the way man can understand, I said to myself crying tears of joy, thanking God.
Lord, you are so great.
 I started singing...
 _Jesus you are so good to me in all circumstances, in all circumstances._
Tears of joy were following from my eyes heavily.I rolled down on the floor thanking God. All my thoughts had been Johnson was dead, but God kept him. Joy filled my heart so much. I was actually smiling again after a long time. I was crying tears of Joy. I started singing again...
 _Way maker, miracle worker, promise keeper, light in the darkness my God that is who you are.._
God is really a miracle worker I said in my crying tears of Joy, it was still almost unbelievable. Who would have thought i was still ever going to find my son back. I cried tears of joy so much thanking God. 


PART 42
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

I didn't have Abel's number to call him so I messaged him, I kept on checking but he didn't come online to reply.

The next day. I thanked God and prayed. It was still like a dream to me. I took my phone to look at Johnson's picture, tears of joy rolled down my eyes, it was almost unbelievable to me at that moment. I scrolled down on Abel's page i saw, they were to hold a program by 10am. I checked my time, it was 6:15am. I went ahead to the bathroom, to brush my teeth and take my bath. I took my car key, headed to my car and drove off.

As i walked into the church, I looked all around it had really changed from the time I do attend his church then. The workers were setting the church, for the program.
A big church indeed, i said in my mind as I kept on walking forward.  I looked forward to the alter side, i saw a man and a boy on the same colour of suit. The boy turned back to pick a paper that fell from the man's hand. Lo and behold it was Johnson. He recognized me immediately.  
"Mommy!!!!!!!" Johnson screamed out loudly, running towards me. 
Son!!!! I screamed running towards him also. 
The man turned back to look, it was Abel.
He jumped on me, i carried him and held him tightly to myself. I started crying, tears of joy. I sat down on the chair in the church, still holding Johnson tightly to myself. Johnson started crying also. We were in that position for a while, when a lady approached us and placed her hands on me. I looked up, it was Joyce, she was very surprised, her mouth were wide opened in surprise. I turned my face away from her. She brought out a tissue paper from her bag and whipped my tears. 
"I didn't know he is your son. it's ok don't cry. We still have a lot to talk about, Joyce said.
She held my hand taking me to Abel's office in the church. I held Johnson with my other hand, Abel followed us also, when we got in we all sat down. I was still crying. I didn't even know what to do or say. Johnson, was still crying also. I'm sure it because he saw me crying. Joyce, was whipping my tears away, telling me not to cry.  Abel was petting Johnson.
"I know you don't like me right now, but it's not the way you see it to be, we have a lot to talk about, I'm grateful to God. It's so unbelievable that he is your son. My husband found Johnson, one day, she said as tears filled her eyes.

She kept on talking and petting me not to cry. Abel, stood still he was so surprised that he couldn't say a word.

When it was almost time for the program to start we all left office. Me and Johnson sat  in front of congregation that was almost filled up with a lot of people. 

When it was time for testimony, people came out testify of how Abel had prayed for them and they were healed.
 Some testified of how Abel spoke a word and their life turned around for good, some testified of how they got delivered through Abel. The most shocking of all, was when a woman testified of how God used Abel to raise her  six years old daughter who was already confirmed dead by the doctor. I also shared my testimony of how i lost Johnson and found him through Abel. The whole church clapped as they were surprised that the mother of the child had come.

During the program,  some people were brought to front of the alter. Abel prayed for those who couldn't walk, they started walking immediately. He prayed for those who had mental problems they became healed. He prayed for those who were blind, they started to see. A lot and a lot of miraculous things happened. Johnson, kept on shouting Hallelujah, with the congregation. I just watched, amazed of how God was really using Abel. God is really using Abel or over using, i will say. The kind of anointing he has, was a gift, i will say. I flashed back to the times, he was still in school, who knew God will later be using him this way. Of course if i knew, i won't have turned him down then.
 Life.....I said, as tears rolled down my eyes.

When the program was over around 7pm, Abel and Joyce  attended to those who came to see them before they walked up  to me. I thanked them so much, they said i should thank God instead. Joyce, said it was late, that i should come over to her house, that we had a lot to discuss.
You betrayed me, but i have sincerely forgiven you today, i said in my mind as I followed her and Abel with Johnson outside the church. Joyce, told me my car was safe to be parked in the church compound. I entered their car and Abel drove off. Johnson was so happy seeing me, i was so happy also. 
God is great, i kept on saying in my mind smiling. Johnson looked well taken care of.

When we got to their house, Joyce prepared dinner.  Johnson, was just moving all around the house playing and coming back to me to hug me.

After dinner, Joyce spoke.
"God really works in a miraculously way. We never knew Johnson is your son. He always kept on telling us he wants to go meet his mommy and daddy, me and my husband do tell him God will bring his parents. I am so happy, Johnson had never been so happy this way", Joyce said.
Thank God, i said and sighed.
"Hmmm, i know you think i betrayed you but I didnt."
It's okay that was all in the past, I said to Joyce as I didn't want her to bring the past up.
"No, you have to believe me, i didn't know he is the same Abel you told me about then."
Abel nodded his head.
"You have to believe me, it was after our wedding Abel told me everything. I tried reaching you before our wedding but your line were always switched off and you didn't come online also. I saw your husband one  evening, i asked him about you, he told me you were fine, that you just hardly put on your phone to avoid too many calls. I gave him our wedding invitation, that I was expecting both of you, but before our wedding was over  i didn't see both of you."
I sighed, flashing back to those times.
"Me and Abel, were childhood friends. We met one day, since our parents both knew each other, they wanted us to get married, that's why our wedding plans were arranged quickly", Joyce said.
Abel, went into a room and came out with a picture, showing me the picture he and Joyce took on a Christmas day when they were still kids. He said his parents and hers took them out. It was when i saw the picture i believed Joyce.
" I hope you believe now?", Joyce asked. 
I nodded my head, as tears rolled down my eyes.

"A number sent me different pictures of you and a man to me WhatsApp, that the two of you were engaged. That was when i called you then last. Later that same day, some guys approached me when i was driving out of my house, they warned me to stay away from you, if not they would kill me", Abel said to me.
I couldn't believe it, who could have threatened him and sent those pictures to him that day, I thought to myself.
Tears rolled down my eyes, as i flashed back to those times.
"A month after they threatened me, was when me  and Joyce met again after so many years", Abel said.
Joyce didn't betray me. May be that was just the will of God, I said in my mind as tears rolled down my face.
"So that's it all", Abel said.
"So, what about your husband?" Joyce asked. 
I started crying.
"What's wrong?" Joyce asked.
I told her what Ibrahim did. I told her how i left his house to my own house. 
Joyce felt so sorry for me.
"I'm sorry. I never knew Ibrahim would change. It was all my fault", Joyce said as tears rolled down her face.
No, it's not your fault, it was mine, i said crying.
"I caused it. During those times, he kept on asking me for your new number, i knew you were going to be mad at me if i gave it to him, that's why i told you then to follow him up on Instagram. Before then i  sent him your username on Instagram, so he knew you were the one he was chatting with. He asked me if you had anyone, i told him yes that you were going to meet the person on that day, he was the one who called you with a strange number then warning you not to go anywhere. I thought i was doing the best as a friend for both of you, as i felt you and Ibrahim truly loved each other. It's my fault. I'm sorry", Joyce said crying.
No, it wasn't, it was my fault or let me say it was just the will of God, i said to Joyce as i whipped my tears.
Johnson ran to me and hugged me again.
"Mummy, what about daddy?" 
It was more than the fifteenth time Johnson was asking.
You will see him tomorrow, was what i replied him.
"Mommy, are you crying again?" Johnson asked me.
No son, it's tears of Joy, i am happy seeing again, I lied to him.
I kissed him and he ran to a room again.
"That's his room", Joyce said.
Thank you so much for taking care of him, like your own son.
Joyce started crying.
Why are you crying? I asked her confused.
"Ever since we got married, we have not had a child. We have been trusting God for the fruit of the womb. When Abel first found Johnson, he took him to a church member of ours, who is a man. When Abel told  me everything when he came back that day, i told him to bring Johnson to our house, since we have no child yet", Joyce said crying. 
I was petting her. I was imaging my life and hers, i have a child, but no happy marriage, Joyce is happily married but no child, I thought to myself as i kept on petting and encouraging her, that God will grant them children. Abel walked up to her and consoled her also. I felt for the both of them.

That night we both held hands together. Abel prayed to God seriously, for God to restore my marriage.

The next day, was a Sunday.
Joyce gave me a gown of hers to put on for church and we all went to church together.
I couldn't believe it, when children were called out for Bible recitation, Johnson was the only one who recited a long Bible verse without any mistake. I was so surprised, the congregation kept on clapping and clapping for him. 
God Is great, i said in my mind.

As the sermon was going on, i felt like having Johnson closed to me, i had missed him so much. I went  to the children's department. I saw very surprised again, when I saw Johnson was the one preaching. I sat down quietly to listen to him, he had known the Bible than I even did. When he was done preaching, he prayed the two children teachers that were there with the children, said Amen and clapped for him.
"Pastor son", the children kept on saying when Johnson was done. Johnson stood smiling. I couldn't believe it, Johnson who was so much in love in going to mosque, Johnson who later refused was not going to ever follow me to church again, was now the one preaching. Tears of joy rolled down my face.
Jesus you are great, i said in mind, as i whipped off my tears immediately with my hand.
"Am sure you are surprised at the way this little boy called "pastor son" preached. He is very amazing", one of the children teacher said.
"She is the mother. You weren't at the church program yesterday, that's why you don't know", the other children teacher said to her.
She looked at me surprised.
When Johnson saw me he ran towards me and hugged me happily. I kissed him and told me to go sit till the service was over, and i will be back for him, he went to sit happily.

After the service was over, i went on my kneels to thank Abel and Joyce, for raising Johnson in the ways of the Lord. I couldn't have trained him the way they did.
God has a reason for everything, I said In my mind.

We walked out of the church.
" So it's time for you and Johnson to leave now", Joyce said as tears rolled down her face.
I could feel her pains of not having a child.
God will grant you children, don't cry please, i said to Joyce, as I whipped her tears with my hand. Joyce walked up to where Johnson was she carried him and hugged him tightly.
"I will miss you so much", Joyce said to Johnson.
"I will miss you too", Johnson said.
I could Johnson loved Joyce.
Joyce started crying.
"Don't cry. I will come to be visiting you", Johnson said to Joyce.
Abel and i consoled her.
Joyce went to the car opened it and brought a big box  out.
"Jonson's clothes, shoes, books and everything are in here", she said.
I didn't really know how to thank Joyce and Abel anymore.
Thank you so much. God bless both of you and i pray God grants you children.
"Amen", Joyce and Abel said.
Thanks for the gown also, i will return it when we visit again.
" No, you can have it, it fits you, Joyce said. Me and  Joyce have the same body size, and almost the same height.
Thank you so much, i said to Joyce, smiling.
She hugged me, Abel hugged me also. I carried the box, opened my boot and placed it there.
Abel and Joyce, hugged Johnson before he entered my car and we left.

"Mommy, why did daddy not come?" Johnson asked as i was driving.
I didn't want to remember anything about Ibrahim, i didn't answer him.
" Mommy, why did daddy not come?" Johnson asked again.
We will talk about that when we get home, i told Johnson, thinking of what to tell him when we got home.


PART 43
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

"What about Aunty Miriam?" Johnson asked.
Johnson still remembered her.
She has gone to her own house, I replied him.
"Why."
Johnson, you ask a lot questions.
He kept mute.

In  three hours thirty minutes, we were home. I opened the door and we went in.

"Mommy", Johnson said.
Son, i replied him.
"This is not our house na", he said looking all around the place.
Johnson still remembered.
We changed our house, i lied to him.
"Why? Where is my daddy?"
I knelt down and placed my two hands on his shoulders.
Daddy, will be back soon ok, i told him and kissed him.
"Ok, mommy. I can't  wait to see my daddy", he said happily.
Let me go and prepare food, for you and i to eat ok.
"Ok mommy."

I didn't go to my boutique for about a week, i was with Johnson at home. I was so happy he was back. I couldn't stop thanking God. 

"Mommy, why has daddy not come back since? I have been telling you to call him, you don't want to", he said angrily almost crying.
I had to lie to him so he would stop asking me. The more he talked about his dad the more i thought of Ibrahim, and the more my pains increased.

Johnson, your daddy died, i lied to him as tears rolled down my face.
"Mommy, what happened to him?" He asked surprised.
I will let you know later, you can't understand now.
"My teacher said when someone is dead, the person won't come wake up again", he said with a teary eye.

Before, i knew it Johnson broke down crying. I started petting him.
 If i knew, i wouldn't have told him that, i said in my mind.

Later, i discovered his temperature was very high. I rushed to my room to look for the remaining paracetamol i had left. I gave it to him, yet his body was still hot. I carried Johnson with my two hands, panicking.
Lord have mercy on me, what have I done o, i said as tears rolled down my face.
if i know i wouldn't have told him that, i said in my mind.

I took Johnson to a near by hospital. The doctor assured me he would be fine.
Two days later, Johnson was discharged, hale and heathy. I was so happy, we went home.

Joyce and Abel came to see him. Johnson who was sad, became  happy on seeing them.

 Joyce complained, before she left, that the area I am living is too quite and lonely.

 When they left Johnson became sad again.

I later did some shopping for him, just to make him happy.

Later, I registered Johnson in a school not far from the house. The school closed at 3pm. At 4pm, i will leave by boutique, get to his school by 5 in the evening to pick him. I paid extra for  him staying  in school after closing hour. I could have stayed out home and come to pick him up at 3pm, but if i am alone at home I would think too much and be depressed, i didn't want that, i needed to go out to reduce my thinking.

Things continued like that. I didn't really concentrate on Johnson academically and spiritually, as I wasn't in the right state of mind.
Johnson, was loosing interest little by little in reading his Bible, school books and also praying. 

Few months later.

"Johnson, what's wrong na? You are not reading your Bible, and school book, you are not also praying like before again, I asked  him one evening.
"Mommy, i am not happy", he told me.
Why? i asked him surprised.
"My daddy is not here again. You don't really have time for me. You are always sad. You don't show me love like the way Mr and Mrs Abel did. You don't teach me my homework,  you don't read the Bible with me, you don't tell me Bible stories, you don't come to pick me up early form school when i close, like Mrs Abel, my second mommy did. You don't love me.

Yes he was right, but only if he could understand.
I'm sorry Johnson. Don't say that okay, i love you i am your mother, I said to him, holding him to myself.  Tears were rolling down my face.
"I want to go back to them."
Who? I asked him.
"Mr and Mrs Abel, i want to go back to their house. They are my second mommy and daddy."
I looked at him for a while, i could see he was actually serious.

Is that what you want? I asked him.
He nodded his head.
 
I knew there was no way i could concentrate to train Johnson up spiritually and academically like they did. Not like  i wanted him to go,  i wanted the best for him and i wanted him to be happy also.

We will go there. Are you happy now?
He nodded his head happily.

The next day I called Joyce to tell her.

The day we arrived at their house, Abel and Joyce welcomed us. Joyce carried Johnson immediately, she was so happy on seeing us.
I explained all to Joyce and Abel.
 Joyce and Abel asked me about Ibrahim. I told them things were still the same. They encouraged me that things will change for better and God will restore back my marriage.
"You have to be patient, God doesn't work in a haste", Abel had told me.
 Joyce was happy Johnson was back. She told me she had missed him so much and the church had missed Johnson also and they will be so happy to see him again.

"That place you are living is too quite and lonely. If only you should live there alone in the house, you will feel so lonely", Joyce said feeling so concerned.
I'm used to it, I said smiling.
"There is a five bedroom duplex, a church member of ours gave us the house as a gift after my husband had prayed for him, he was healed of a chronic disease. He gave my husband the house  before he traveled aboard with his family, he said they want to live there permanently. The man and his family were living there before. Everything you can think of are in the house. We will want you to be living there. It's a very lively area. Me and my husband spoke about that the day we left your house, Joyce said smiling.
I was so surprised.
You don't have to do all that for me. I have been living there and i can still live there, I said with  teary eyes.
"No", Abel said, handing over the keys to the house to me.
"Have it, we would have moved in there since but the Holy spirit told us not to. God has a reason for everything. We prayed about it and you are the one God wants to stay there, Joyce said smiling.

I thanked them so much.

Since, you said God said so i don't have any reason to say no, I said, whipping my tears with my hand.
That same day, they took me to the house to see it, Johnson went along with us.

A week later.
I moved out to the house Joyce and Abel gave to me to live. It was really a nice and lively place, i loved it so much.

Someone directed me to an agent. I showed the agent my house that i wanted to rent it. In less than two weeks the agent found a young couple to rent my house. They couple said they wanted a house with a gateman at the gate. The agent looked fora gateman. They paid. I exchanged contact with the couple and the gateman before i left.

I started my normal life going to me boutique and returning home in the evening. I made some new friends also. I was  always visiting Johnson at Abel's place every weekends.

On this particular day i was about leaving my boutique in the evening, when a young man walked in.


PART 44
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

My sales girl went ahead to meet him, immediately he walked in. She took him around, he bought a lot of wears and paid with his ATM card. Before he left he approached me.

"Your sales girl, told me you own here", the young man said.

Yes, i replied him, forcing a smile, to be nice to my patroniser.

"That's nice. I was going to see my dad and uncle, so i decided to stop and get them some wears. I must confess, you really sell nice things here."

Thanks, very much and thanks a lot for patronising us also, God bless you, i said still putting on a fake smile. 
I was thinking about a lot of things that depressed me before he approached me.

"You are welcome. You must be a pastor", he said jokingly.
 
No, i am not.

"That's ok, well i don't live around here, i hope I can make order for wears and it will be brought to me?" The young man asked.

Sure, of course. You can make orders anytime any day and it will brought to you. Here is my business card, with my new number on it now,  the first number is mine, you can always call me anytime you want to make an order, i said.

"Thanks a lot", the young man said.

You are welcome anytime, i replied.

"I'm Adebayo by name and you?"

I told him my name.

"Alright, thanks", he said and left.

When i got home, i prepared food to eat. After eating, i laid down on my bed to rest, my mind flashed back to the young man i met, Adebayo, i thought of him for a while before my mind flashed to Johnson, I took my phone to call Joyce to speak to Johnson. He was really happy living with them. After the call my mind flashed back to Ibrahim, tears rolled down my eyes, i managed to pray and sleep.

That how things still continued, going to my boutique and coming back in the evening.

One evening around 7pm, i was sitting in my living room when my phone rang, it was a number, I didn't have on my phone, i picked up the call and kept mute for a while waiting for the caller to speak first.

Caller: Hello.
Me: Hello.
Caller: Good evening.
Me: Good evening.
Caller: Do you know who is on the line?
Me: No, i do not.
Caller: And you responding like you do.
Me: For you to have called me, it's either you know me or you called me for business.
Caller:(laughing), I love that, well it's me Adebayo.
Me: Ohhhhh, wow.
Caller: Yeah, how you doing? How was work today?
Me: Fine. I'm doing ok, and you?
Caller: I'm doing great.
Me: That's nice, thanks for patronising us, the other time.
Caller: it's ok, how is your family?
Me: Fine...
Caller: Well, can i ask you a question? Please ma.
Me: Sure, go straight to the point.
Caller: Alright, I will like to know you better.
Me: Hmmm, alright.
Caller: Can we chat on WhatsApp?
Me: Yeah, we can.
Caller: Thanks a lot.
Me: You don't need to thank me.
Caller: I need to.
Me: it's ok.
Caller: Yeah, but before that, can we still keep on talking on phone.
Me: Yeah.
Caller: Thanks a lot.

We spoke for over an hour on the phone.

That is how i started chatting with Adebayo, he asked me if i was married or in any relationship, I told him no.
 "After all Ibrahim was gone, so i felt i wasn't married anymore", I said in my mind.

"Nothing, gets hidden forever", my mind told me.

There was no day he won't call me, talking to me for over an hour on the phone.

Almost a month later, he called me one night.

Me: Hello.
Adebayo: Hello, sweetheart.
Me:( Laughing), how are you doing, dear?
Adebayo: I'm very well. I'm missing you here. How are you doing also.
Me: Awwwww, I'm good.
Adebayo: How was work today?
Me: Fine dear, what about you?
Adebayo: Fine too, sweetheart. 
Me: Alright....
Adebayo: I would love us to meet.
Me: Hmm, really?
Adebayo: Yes, don't turn me down please...
Me: (laughing) When? Where?
Adebayo: This Saturday, don't worry i will be there with my driver to come pick you up at your work place, since you are there on saturdays too.
Me: Hmmm, this saturday, tomorrow?
Adebayo: Yeah, sweetheart, please....
Me: Hmm okay, but i can come myself, just tell me where you want us to meet.
Adebayo: No, i am willing to come pick you up myself.
Me:(laughing) ok.
Adebayo: So get ready sweetheart, i will be there by 11am.
Me: Ok, i will.
Adebayo: Thanks so much.
Me: You don't have to thank me.
Adebayo: I have to, don't tell me that.
Me: If you say so.
Adebayo: So what's up, is there anything you need.
Me: I'm ok, no.
Adebayo: Are you sure of that?
Me: Yeah.
Adebayo: Alright.

We still talked for almost an hour, before he hanged up.

The next day saturday, i went to the saloon to fix my hair, after that was done i went home to take my bath. I later went to a makeup artist to have some light makeups to look younger and finer. After that was done, i went to my boutique to wait for Adebayo.

Before 11am, Adebayo, arrived. When he came down from his car, he called my number, i came out and we hugged each other happily. I entered his car and his driver drove off. We talked, played, joked, as his driver kept on driving.

So where  exactly are we going, i asked him later.

"Relax ok, sweetheart, we will get there soon."

Alright dear, i replied smiling.


PART 45
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

"You look more beautiful today", Bayo said.

Thank you, i replied smiling. No wonder you have been staring at me since.

He laughed.

" Yeah, i love your hairdo and the makeup, who did the makeup for you."

(Laughing) Thanks, a makeup artist.

"Wow, you look good on the gown also, have been admiring you since we have been on our way."

Thank you, i said blushing.

"I can't believe, I have such a beautiful lady sitting by my side."

(Laughing), stop  it.

"Why would i? Can't i compliment on your beauty anymore."

It's okay.

"So, did you take breakfast this morning?"

No, i didn't.

"Why? You must be hungry by now."

No, i am not.

"Alright", he said staring at me, smiling.

What about you, did you take breakfast?

"No, i was in a hurray to come pick my sweetheart."

You not serious, i said laughing.

"Of course, i amm, why would I lie to you?"

Have heard you o, i said smiling.

Few hours later.

This Ajah road na, where are we heading to? I asked him confused.

"Just relax, sweetheart", he said smiling.

Ok ooo... I replied him.

Later we arrived at a very big eatery. 

"Here we are, sweetheart", Bayo said.

Wow, what a lovely place, i said admiring the environment.

" Yeah, i am happy you like it."

I laughed.

"Let's go in", Bayo said, holding my hand.

When we got in, i couldn't stop admiring the whole place, as i kept on looking all around.

" Let's sit here", Bayo said pointing at a table for two.

Alright, I replied as we walked towards the table to take our seat.

"First, i want to thank this beautiful miss, for accepting to come along with me", he said smiling.

Have told you to stop thanking me, Bayo, i said smiling.

"No, i won't stop. So what would you love to take?"

Hmmm, you brought me here so you are to decide.

"No, what would you love to take?" He asked again."

Ok wait, I said smiling.

I looked at the price that were tagged to each food, drink, snack and the rest of all they were expensive, I wasn't surprised with such an eatery.

I made my choice, he ordered for it and his also.

As we were eating, he kept on staring at me.

Why you staring at me like that, stop it i don't like it, i said smiling.

"Why won't i stare at you", he  replied, laughing.

After about 35mintues, we were done eating and drinking.

"So sweetheart, I would love to know you more", Bayo said looking at me seriously.

There is noting much about myself.

"Just tell me."

I told him everything about myself, my family, the only thing i didn't tell him was that, i was once married and i have a child.

"Wow, wow that's nice and you said there was noting much about you, i knew you were just joking", he said after i had told him about myself.

I smiled, looking at him.

Tell me about yourself too, i said still smiling.

"About myself?" He asked.

Yeah, i replied.

"Hmmmm", he said and sighed.

What's wrong?

"Noting, i will tell you."

Alright, i am listening.

"Well, i am Adebayo Victor Olayemi."

Wow, Victor is your English name.

"Yes, my dad named me Victor, my mom named me Adebayo, Olayemi is my surname."

Wow, that's nice, continue, i said, as i was eager to hear more from him.

"Yeah, I'm from Osun state. I'm the only son and child of my parents."

Wow only son and child, I said surprise as my mind flashed back to Johnson, my only son and child.

Are you a Christian? I asked him.

"Yeah, of course i am."

Alright, they must have pampered you as being the only child, i said jokingly, smiling.

"Well, no."

(Laughing), would you say yes before?

"Well, i would have said yes if I was actually pampered like you think."

I focused on him, looking at him seriously to hear more.

"My mom  died of cancer, the year I gained admission into the university of Lagos to study an Engineering course."

Ohhhh, i am so sorry for that, i said feeling pity for him, it was like i felt his pains.

"You don't have to be sorry, you didn't cause it."

Yeah, but i feel for you.

"I understand. After that, my dad lost his job also, it was with the help of my uncle and  supports from my dad, that i was able to go to school. I didn't want to go to school that year i lost my mom, i loved her so dearly, my dad was the one who encouraged me. Ever since my mom died ten years ago i had just been trying to live happy till..."

Till what? I asked him.

"I will let you know that later. My uncle was married for eight years with no child."

O my God, i said in surprise.

"Yeah, his wife got tired and left him as the fault was from him through medical reports. After all that, my uncle and my dad both decided to live together. My dad and my uncle vowed not to marry another wife."

Tears were almost dripping from my eyes, i felt his pains.

"You don't have to cry ok, that was all in the past."

I know but..... He cut me off.

"It's okay. After I graduated, my uncle encouraged me to go further into doing my masters, i reluctantly agreed and did it. After I was done, i applied for job almost everywhere but i found none, so i started to teach in a secondary school.
 To cut the story short, after some few years  i got a job in Chevron."

Chevron? You work in an oil company? I asked very surprised.

"Yeah, i never knew i was ever going to get employed there. My uncle was the one who persuaded me to apply, he kept on praying, he has a friend who is a prophet, the prophet prayed for me also and told me i will get the job, i didn't believe but  i got it."

Wow..... I said in surprise.

"I still want to let you know more things about me."

I looked at him seriously the more.

"When i got employed and started working, i got a house of mine and a car also.  A lot of ladies came around me because of money, i slept with almost all of them, till the day i was in a program, i was caught my the Holy Spirit, I gave my life Christ  when the pastor made an alter call and ever since then i promised God not to sleep with any lady that came my way, that was how i stopped from that day i surrendered my life to Christ. I told God the lady i will move closer to will be who i want to be serious with, a woman i will want to take as mine forever."

I looked at Bayo surprised.

"Yeah, i have to let you know", he said.

Tears were rolling down my eyes, my mind was telling me to tell him the real truth about myself that i was once married and i have a child, since Bayo also told me the truth about himself.
"Noting gets  hidden forever", my mind kept on telling me.

"Should i tell him", I kept on asking myself.

Bayo held my two hands with his hands, looking straight into my eyes. He kept mute for a while before he spoke.

"And you are the woman i want to be serious with, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I love you and i want you as mine forever", he said still looking directly into my eyes.

 I kept mute, looking at him in surprise.

"What do you say to that?" Bayo asked.

"Should i tell him the truth", I asked myself again.

"Noting gets hidden forever", my mind still kept on telling me.


PART 46
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

"Yeah, i love you, you may find it hard to believe", Bayo said.

I still kept mute, looking at him.

"Please, what do have to say?" He asked again, still keeping an eye contact.

I still kept mute.

"It's alright. I will give you time to decide", Bayo said redrawing his hands from mine.

He changed the topic, and we started talking about other things, laughing.

It was time for us leave.

 "Where you live is far from here, do you mind coming over to my house?" Bayo asked.

No, i will go home, i said.

"No, it's far. Since you don't want to come over to my house, i guess it's because you don't want to stay with me, right?"

No, i just want to go home.

"(Laughing), ok, but it's far, you can check in an hotel around here for the night, i will pay since you don't want to go to my house with me", Bayo said.

No, don't worry Bayo, i will go home at most i will get home late.

"No, i don't want you to get home late."

(Laughing) noting will happen to me okay.

"Yeah, but i don't want you to go home alone, but since you insist let me call my driver to drive you home", he said.

Then how will you go home? I asked him.

" Don't worry sweetheart, i will get home", Bayo said.

No, don't worry instead, i will get home myself.

"No, again? I don't want you struggling to enter public vehicles, you don't look like who has the strength for that", he said jokingly, laughing.

Stop it bayo, ok I'm not an aje butter, i said laughing.

"If you say so, but i won't let you go home alone, it's weather you come along with me so we can go to my house, or you check in an hotel for the night, or my driver drivers you home, so choose one", he said.

I said don't worry ok, i said laughing.

"If you don't agree to any then we are not leaving here", he said smiling.

We will both sleep here then, i said jokingly.

"That will be better", he said still smiling.

Go away, jhor, I said laughing.

"So choose one", he said seriously.

Ok, let your driver drive me home. I hope you are the one that has the strength to struggle for public vehicles, i said jokingly looking at him.

"Of course, i have the strength to", he said smiling.

I laughed.

He called his driver to take me home. I told the driver my address he said he was quite familiar with where i lived.

"Don't worry, i will direct you", i said to his driver.

"Ok ma", he said.

" Make sure you drive her home safely ", Bayo said to his driver.

" Sure sir", his driver replied him.

"I will miss you", Bayo said, as we were outside about to leave.

Awwwwww, we will see again.

" Of course sweetheart and when we see again, you must know my house even though you agree or not", Bayo said.

Sure i will, i said laughing.

"Better", Bayo said.

Yeah, bye now, i said.

"Take very good care of yourself, in case you need anything don't think twice before calling me", Bayo said.

Ok.. take care too, i said smiling.

"Yes sweetheart."

Bye now, i said.

We both hugged each other before  leaving.

As his driver was driving me home, he kept on calling me.

Me: Hello.
Adebayo: Hello dear, where are you now?
Me: C'mon we haven't gone far yet, we just left 45min ago. Are you home now?
Adebayo: Yeah, i'm home sweetheart.
Me: Wow, that's cool, will call you when i get home.
Adebayo: Alright dear.
Me: yeah, bye.

When i got home, i thanked his driver. I opened my purse to give him 2k, but he refused, I persuaded him to collect it but he didn't. I thanked him again and he drove off.

Bayo must be paying him a good salary, am sure that's why he refused the money i gave to him, i said in my mind, as i walked in.

Bayo is working in an oil company, wow, i said, as i laid down on my bed to rest.

I flashed back to the  time we spent together, smiling on my bed.
I took my phone to call Joyce to hear from Johnson.

My mind later flashed to Ibrahim...
they must be married now, i said in my mind, i felt a bit sad as i walked to my bathroom to have my bath.


PART 47
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

The next day sunday, i went to Abel's church to see Jonson's and to worship there also. I really loved the way they were taking care of Johnson, and he was very happy being with them.
I wished i was the one who got married to Abel...
 _If you were to be married to Abel you won't  have had a child till now, just like Joyce_ ..... My mind told me, and i sighed. 
God knows best, i said.

One night, my phone rang it was Bayo, i picked  up happily we talked on the phone for an hour, before he hanged up.

A week later, i accepted Bayo.

Things started going on well between both of us, he took me out every weekends, we became very close, he gave me money to increase my business, i found true love in Bayo but i still refused to go to his house no matter how he insisted.
Although, anytime my mind flashed to Ibrahim i still felt hurt and tears roll down my face, a failed marriage was like what I was healed from but the scares were still there, it wasn't like a failed relationship one would get over when he or she finds love again.
I still wished i had never met Ibrahim, i wished i had not gone to his house on that day with him, i wished i could change things to start again, i wished i had listened to my mom, it was just like my mom had disowned me.

A day to my birthday, my mind flashed back to how Ibrahim would give me a present,  a cake would be brought for me, he would take me out with Johnson, we would all have a good time that day, tears rolled down my face as i remembered. Then, my phone rang it was Bayo. I whipped my tears before i picked his call.

Me: Hello, dear.
Adebayo: Hello 
Adebayo: How is my sweetheart doing ?
Me: Fine dear and you? 
Adebayo: I'm ok, how was work today?
Me: Fine, how was work too?
Adebayo: Fine love. Are you crying? Is anything anything wrong?
Me: No I'm not, everything is fine, why did you ask?
Adebayo: Noting, your voice sounds somehow.
Me: No, I'm very tired, that's why.
Adebayo: You over stressed yourself that's why, try not to next time ok, you really need to rest.
Me: Yeah.
Adebayo: Yes sweetheart. Happy birthday in advance!
Me: Awww, thanks so much.
Adebayo: Yeah, get ready i'm coming to take you out tomorrow .
Me: Alright, i will.
Adebayo: And.....
Me: And what?
Adebayo: You will stay over in my house, please....
Me: Hmmm.
Adebayo: Please, sweetheart.
Me: Alright, i will.
Adebayo: Promise?
Me: Yeah.
Adebayo: Remember, promise is a debt.
Me: Yeah i know, i promise.
Adebayo: Thanks so much sweetheart.....
Me: Go away jhor....
Adebayo:(laughing) To where? See her mouth.
Me: (laughing).
Adebayo: Thanks so much sweetheart. I love you!
Me: Love you too.
 
We still talked for a while before he hanged up. When he hanged up my feelings was mixed up, i couldn't tell if i was happy or sad.

The next day, i was ready i put on a blue jean trouser, and a yellow top, to look smart.  I also put on a yellow shoe, with a yellow bag to match, I applied some make, and packed my hair neatly. When i was done, i went to my boutique to wait for Bayo.


PART 48
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

When he got to my boutique, he called me and i came out to meet him, he lifted me up with his two hands and we both kissed each other happily and hugged.

"You look so good today", Bayo said, still hugging me.

Thanks Bayo, i said smiling.

"Yeah. Happy birthday to my sweetheart!", Bayo said, looking into to my eyes smiling.

Thank you Bayo, i said happily admiring him.

"Yeah, lets get going now, so we don't waste time", Bayo said holding my hand.

You look very good today, i said to him, smiling.

"So i have not been looking good all this while?" He asked jokingly.

No, you just look very good today, i said.

"Because, i dressed differently today?"

May be, you are always on official wears most time, but today you on a jean trouser and a T-shirt.

"(Laughing), Yeah just decided to change today because it's my sweetheart birthday, my woman is a year older today", he said smiling, looking in to my eyes.

I turned my eyes away, smiling.

"Look at her, she can't even maintain an eye contact", he said laughing.

Go away jhor, I said laughing.

"Am not going anywhere, I'm here with my sweetheart", he said, touching my hair.

I removed his hand from my hair.

"She has started again", he said smiling.

We both laughed.

"Let's go now", he said, and carried me like a baby to his car.

Bayo stop! Please!, I said laughing.

We both sat at the back seat, his driver started the engine to leave.

So where did you tell your driver to take us to? I asked him quietly, smiling.

"Shop rite, or  don't you like there?" Bayo asked placing his hand on my hair, smiling.

Yeah... I said smiling.

"So relax sweetheart", he said.

Few hours we got there. We went in to eat and drink first. When we were done with that, we went ahead to get  a lot of things.

"Look at this gown here, it will fit you", Bayo said.

No, i don't like it jhor, I said.

"You have been saying you don't like this, you don't like that, i wonder what you will like", Bayo said laughing.

Wow, i like this black gown here, i said, pointing at it.

"What did she say?" Bayo asked.

I looked at him. She  said she  likes it, Bayo.

"But i don't like it sweetheart", Bayo said, looking at the gown.

Is it my birthday or yours? I asked him.

"It's our birthday" he said jokingly, laughing.

Bayo, stop it. I like it, i said.

"See how it looks like, very short. You want to put it on so other men will steal you from me immediately."

I laughed. 

"No one can take me from you ok", I said smiling.

"I hope so", Bayo said.

C'mon why are you sounding like that? I asked Bayo.

"It's okay, but get something else sweetheart", Bayo said.

Okay dear, i said.

" That's why I love you", Bayo said.

We both took a lot of pictures.

"You should have been a photographer", Bayo said jokingly, laughing.

I laughed also.

"She's is already posting it sef", he said looking at my phone and smiling.

Whatever... I said to him laughing.

When we were done going round to get things, he paid with his ATM.

"We are done now, or would you love to play games?"Bayo asked.

No, I'm tired now, i said, and rested my head on his shoulder.

"Today is her day, and she's is tired already, lazy woman", Bayo said laughing.

Stop it na, am not lazy, you know, i said to Bayo.

" Yeah, i know sweetheart. You know i was just joking", he said smiling.

We both laughed.

"So we are done now", Bayo said.

Yeah... I said.

"Ohhh...", he said.

 Like he just remembered something.

What's it? I asked him.

" I still have a surprise for you", Bayo said.

Hmmmm.... I said.

"Yeah, let's go", he said, holding my hand.

To where again? I'm tired na, i said, frowning.

"Lazy woman, come here jhor", he said jokingly.

I laughed and followed him.

Bayo bought me the latest iPhone. I was very surprised. I jumped and hugged him, he lifted me up and kissed me.

"We are done now", Bayo said.

Thanks so much sweetheart, I said.

"Let's go home now" he said.

Yeah..... I said happily.

Bayo, i have something to say to you, i said as we were walking to the exit.

"Go ahead sweetheart."

I want to thank you so much, for making my birthday a remarkable one, even when i thought it won't be,  I said to Bayo smiling.

"C'mon sweetheart, why did you say so? I love you so much and noting can change that sweetheart."

I smiled, looking at him.

"Let me tell you a secret", Bayo said.

I looked at him seriously.

"Remember then I told you, since my mom died I have just been trying to live happy till...." Remember that's how i stopped my statement.

Yeah, yeah, I nodded my head.

"I know you don't forget things", Bayo said.

I laughed.

"Yeah, till I met you. The first day i met you i just felt joy from no where in me."

I looked at him smiling.

"Yeah, and you know the most amazing thing? You remind me of my mom, the way you talk sometimes, the way you act, and your beauty, my mom was very beautiful also", he said smiling looking at me.

I felt sad anytime Bayo talked of his mom.

"C'mon, i know you always feel sad anytime i talk of my mom, it's all in the past", he said still smiling.

I know.... I said calmly.

"Before i met you no matter how hard i tried to be happy i wasn't, till I met you, joy from no where just filled me that day, that's what got me attracted to you, and that's why i saved your number as "Ayo Aye mi" you the joy of my life, thanks so much for bringing joy into my life", he said smiling.

He are my joy giver also.

"God wants us to be together that's why it happened that way that i found joy in you. God bless the day i met you. I never forget to thank God in my prayers for letting me meet you."

I thank God, i met you too, i said smiling.

He kissed me on my cheek.

We got out and headed to his car, his driver was still in the car waiting. The diver  came down from the car, collected what we bought and put it in the boot.

"Let's go to our house now", he said, opening the door for me to go in.

Our house... I said  laughing.

"Yeah, it's our house " he said.

The driver started the engine to leave.

In less than 45min we were at his house.



PART 49
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

I admired the building of his house, it was more beautiful than i imagined it to be.

What a nice place, i said to Bayo, smiling.

He smiled too.

We walked in.

You live here alone? I asked him.

"Yes...", he replied.

You are going to be feeling lonely most of the times.

"I do, but what will i do? I told you many times to come, you kept on refusing until today."

Wait, I said surprised...
You cook, wash and do all the house chores yourself? I asked him, when i noticed i didn't see any maid.

"Yes sweetheart, are you surprised?" He asked me.

Yeah, kind of, I said laughing.

"My mother didn't allow me to be lazy, being the only child, I washed clothes, cook, cleaned the house, I did many house chores then, so I don't find it hard", he said smiling.

 Wow, I said amazed.

"I can even cook better than you", he said jokingly.

You say what ...I said laughing. Don't dare me o.

"I can't wait to taste your food though."

Sure, you will.

"And when we are married, I will assist you in cooking, washing,  cleaning the house, we won't need to get a house maid", he said smiling.

Wow..yeah, I said smiling too. I wished I had met Bayo, instead of Ibrahim.
 
 _When will you tell him you were once married, and you have a child_
My mind kept on disturbing me.

Just then we heard a car hooting at the gate.

"Let's go see who is that", Bayo said holding my hand.

His gateman opened the gate and someone drove in.
I looked at the car, it was a very nice car, I admired it. As the person opened the door and came out, I saw it was a brand new car, the nylons were still on the seats.
Bayo walked up to meet the man that came out from the car, they talked for some few minutes and the man left.
I was confused, how one would just drive in a brand new car and just leave.

Bayo, walked up to me.
Who is he? I asked Bayo, looking confused.

"That's for you", Bayo said, giving me a car key.

I don't understand you, I said looking at him confused the more.

"That's my main gift for you, for your birthday", he said pointing at the car.

You are kidding me right? I asked, surprised.

"No, it's yours." 

Tears filled my eyes.
 No, i don't deserve this, i said to him.

"Someone who brought back joy into my life, deservers more than that", he said smiling.

But......, he cut me off.

"But what, don't make me feel bad. It is yours", Bayo said.

I was still surprised. I was shut of words I didn't even know what to say again. I hugged him tightly to myself, thanking him. The tears were rolling down my face already.

Bayo, I don't think  I still deserve this, I said as tears rolled down my face.

He sighed, and placed his hand on my cheek.

"Joy can't be bought with money, you brought back joy into my life so you deserve more than that."

Yeah but I......

"Don't make me feel bad, please."

I really don't know how to thank you again, I said crying as my mind kept on telling me to tell him the truth about myself. It wasn't easy for me to do so.

Thank you so much, God will bless you and multiply you, I said crying.

"Amen. Don't cry please", he said, whipping my tears with his hands.

I walked up to the car, opened the door and entered. I admired the car looking all around, I started the engine.

It's time for us to go in now, Bayo said as he carried me out.

I screamed out happily.
The way you carry me like a baby ehnnn, I said laughing.

"Yeah, you are my baby na", he said laughing too.

Put me down on the chair, I said to him, when we got in.

"No", he said.

He carried me to his room and laid me on his bed.

Haa..I said and sighed.

"What's it?" Bayo asked.

Noting, I replied, looking all around his room.

He kept on looking at me.

I love the designs and furniture of your room, I said smiling, still admiring the room.

"I'm happy, you do  because this is our room", Bayo said, smiling.

I smiled back at him.

He put off his clothes, remaining his boxer and singlet.

I admired his masculine body,  his muscles and all.
He came and sat on the bed with me.


PART 50
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

He came and sat on the bed with me.

He placed my head on his laps, touching my hair. We were both smiling.

"Just imagine how it will be when we are married and have children in this house", Bayo said.

I looked at him, still smiling.

" They will call you mommy, they will call me daddy, I can't wait to be a father."

My mind flashed back to when me and Ibrahim, would be in the room, Johnson will run in and jump on the bed, his dad will carry him on his lap and I will kiss him.I remembered the times we lived happily together, till all that happened.

"What's it? What are you thinking of?" Bayo asked me.

Noting, I said smiling.

"I would love to have a daughter as my first child" Bayo said.

Wow, why? I asked him.

"Because, growing up then I had always wanted a sister."

Ohhhhh....I said.

"Yeah, our daughter will be beautiful just like you", he said looking at my face.

I laughed.

"So how many kids would you love us to have?" Bayo asked seriously.

One or two..I said smiling.

"No, I want three", he said.

You are not serious, I said smiling at him.

" I'm very serious, there kids and that will make it four." Bayo said.

I got up and sat on the bed.

How...? I asked him.

I want to take a shower, I'm coming, he said, and got up heading to the bathroom.

When he was done he came out.

"Won't you take a shower too?" He asked me.

No, I want to go home.

"You must be joking, you are not going anywhere by this time", he said.

I didn't argue with him, because I felt so loved being with him, I felt like spending the night in his house,  I felt like spending the rest of my life with him instead. Bayo was such a loving and caring guy, who would have someone like him and want to let him go.

But I didn't bring any cloth to change to, I said.

He walked up to his wardrobe, opened it and brought out something that still had a nylon on it, showing it hadn't been used.
He tore the nylon and brought out what was in it, it was a female night gown. I looked at him confused, on how he had a new female night gown in his wardrobe.
He looked at my face and laughed.

"Surprised right? Bayo asked.

Yeah...I said.

"I have a female friend, who sold night wears before she got married three months ago She brought some to me to buy for my girlfriend, I told her I had no girlfriend, she didn't believe me at first she was surprised. She still insisted I should buy for my future wife to be. I laughed at her. She still kept on persuading me to buy and I bought two from her that day." Bayo said.

Wow.... I said surprised.

"Yeah, since then I kept in my wardrobe, hoping one day I would give it to the woman I would love to put it on, and you are the one, Bayo said smiling.

I was smiling also.

He opened another part of his wardrobe and brought out a new towel, he tore the nylon and threw the towel on my face.

Why naaa? I asked him laughing.

" Go and have a shower now", he said.

I threw the towel on his face also. He took his pillow and threw it on my face. We continued like that.

Bayo stop na, I never knew you are this playful, I said, laughing.

He laughed out loudly.

"Go and take your shower now", Bayo said.

I picked up the towel and the night gown,heading to his bathroom.

"And in case you don't want to use my soap, check well there is a new one I haven't used", Bayo said.

Who will even use the soap you have been using, I said jokingly, laughing.

He laughed also.

I entered the bathroom, I put off my clothes and tied the towel round me. I folded my clothes, i opened the door, came out and placed my cloth on a chair in his room.

I spent more time in the bathroom than usual, when I was done I dried my body with the towel and put on the night gown he gave to me. When I came out, I looked at the wall clock it was almost 8pm, Bayo wasn't in the room.
I opened his room door to go check if he was in the living room, when I saw him coming in. We both smiled at each other.

"Looking for me?" Bayo asked.

I nodded my head.
Where did you go? I asked him.

"To do something", he said.

Okay.... I said.

"It looks beatiful on you, it was just meant for you alone", Bayo said, admiring the night gown on me.

Yeah, i like it, I said.
 
We both sat on the bed. I observed my clothes weren't on the chair, where I placed it.

Where are my clothes? I asked him.

"It's washed", Bayo said.

Who washed it? I asked him.

"Me, it's on the dryer, look through the window you will see it", Bayo said, pointing at the window.

Wow..., I said surprised.

"So you didn't believe me before, or what?" Bayo asked me.

No, no, not that. I am very surprised thanks very much, I said smiling.
I never knew Bayo was caring up to that extent.

"Yeah, my mom always told me to wash my wife clothes sometimes, that will make her love me more and by that she will pray for me the more. My dad also did that for my mom", Bayo said.

I was dumbfounded.

Thank you so much for the outing, the new phone, and the car also, I don't really know how to thank you again. God bless you so much Bayo.

He smiled and rested my head on his chest, I felt truly loved again than ever.

At a time Bayo started moving closer to me on the bed we started kissing at first....
When I realized myself, I pushed him away.

I'm!......( I almost wanted to say I'm married)

" You are what?" Bayo asked surprised.

Noting..I'm sorry but please...don't...

"I understand you am not a bad person as you think of me to be right now. I'm sorry I won't touch you again", Bayo said, feeling bad, the way I pushed him.

I'm sorry I said, I really felt sorry for the way I pushed him.

"You don't need to be", he said.

I didn't mean to do that, please don't feel bad, I said pleading.

"I understand", Bayo said.

Understand what? I asked.

He didn't answer me, he shifted to the edge of the bed, and covered himself with his blanket, angrily.
That was how he slept off. After a while I slept off too.

The next day we were both happy, his driver drove me home.

In the evening, I laid down on my bed, thinking about my past life.
Sometimes, I felt like letting Bayo know the truth, but I felt he might leave me and I would be back to the state of depression the more. I didn't want to be depressed again.
_Noting is hidden forever, noting gets hidden expect it's a treasure and one day it will be surely seen._
My mind kept on telling me.
How would I explain to Bayo that I was once married and that I had child, he would see me as a lady who played him upon all he had spent on me, he will see me as a deceiver, he will see me as someone wicked, I said in my mind, as tears were rolling down my face.
_Someone, who truly loves you will love you for who you are and not what you are.._ my mind told me.

Bayo is just so good, nice, caring, giving he is every good thing, he doesn't deserve a lady like me, I said in my mind, as I cried out.

I thought of a lot of things and decided to tell him the truth. I whipped my tears and picked up my phone. I put on my data, he was online on WhatsApp.
I messaged him "Hi."

He replied saying "Hi my love, how are you?"

"Bayo, I have something I want to tell you."

"Hmmmmm, go ahead", he replied.

"Bayo, I'm sorry, I'm very sorry please forgive me."

"Sorry for what?", Bayo replied me immediately.

"Yes, I'm very sorry please forgive me."
I told him everything, that i was once married and I have a son.

"Hmmmmmmmmmm, I see", he replied me.

Bayo, I'm sorry, please don't think  of me to be someone who played you, please  am not that kind of lady please.

"Wow, really", he replied me.

" Please, forgive me. I didn't know how to tell you since. Please I'm sorry, I'm ready to return the phone and the car to you I don't deserve it at all."

He read the message without replying me.

I sent many messages, pleading, the messages were delivered but he didn't reply.

I still kept on sending messages to him, the messages were sent but not delivered, which meant he had gone offline.

I cried out. 
After all who would want  someone like me who was once married and has a child, I said to myself.

The next day I still checked, he hadn't come online and no call from him.

I broke down crying, I felt the pains that were almost gone were back the more again. Bayo was gone already, I couldn't stand the pains. 

A week passed, Bayo didn't come online or call me, I decided to be strong, but it wasn't easy for me at all, I lost appetite for food, I broke down almost every minute crying.
Depression was fully back again.
Heart broken again.


PART 51 TO 55

[12/21/2019, 7:51 PM] My God: *PART 51*
*MY PAINS*
© *PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE*

Two weeks later, I received a call, I didn't know who it was. I answered the call and kept mute for the caller to talk first.

"Hello", the caller said.

"Hello", I said also.

"How are you doing?" The caller asked.

"I'm fine", I said. His voice sounded very familiar.
"May I know who is on the line?" I asked.

"Wow are you joking or what? So you don't know?" The caller asked seriously, quite angry.

"I'm sorry, I don't have this number saved on my phone."

"Wow, I see, so you deleted my number", the caller said.

" Sorry, who am I speaking to?" I asked again.

"Anyway, it's me Bayo", the caller said.

I was surprised and dumbfounded I never expected Bayo to still call me, I deleted his number after a week he didn't reply my messages nor call me.

"Hello are you there?" Bayo asked.

"Yes", I said calmly and sighed.

" What is it?" Bayo asked? 

"Noting", I said.

" Well, you noticed I hadn't been online and not  been picking your calls and you didn't even bother to ask me why? "

"No , no, I....I....

" It's okay. We really need to see, can we meet tomorrow? "

"Yeah", I said.

"Do you want to come over to my place or you want me to come?" Bayo asked.

"Anyone that's okay by you", I said.

" Ok, I will come, so as to know where you live also. My driver knows your house he will drive me there." He said.

I kept mute.

"Hello are you still there?"

"Yeah", I said.

"Ok so be expecting me tomorrow", Bayo said.

" Alright", I said.
He hanged up immediately, unlike the normal him that will stay up to an hour talking to me on the phone.
May be he is coming to take the new car he got for me, after all I don't deserve it, I said in my mind as tears rolled down my eyes. My feelings were mixed, I was happy Bayo called and at the same time I was sad also. I sat down on my bed, thinking, i wished I could rectify all my mistakes.

The next day Bayo arrived, he called me when he got to my gate, I came and opened the gate and his driver drove in and parked.

Bayo came down from his car.
We stood still looking at each other quietly for a while before Bayo walked closer to me.

" How are you doing?" Bayo asked.

Fine, I said and sighed.

"You sure? Look at your eyes they are swollen, you have been crying right? Bayo asked.

No... I lied to him.

" Hmmm, can we go in?" He asked.

"Yes", I said leading the way.

When we got in we both sat  on different chairs in my living room.

" Come and sit here with me", Bayo commanded.

I got up sluggishly, I couldn't look at his face as my conscience was bugging me.

"What, would you love to take?" I asked looking down.

"Noting, I'm ok. Why are you looking down?" Bayo asked.

I'm coming, I said.
I walked to the kitchen to serve him the food I prepared because he was coming.

Take, I said giving him the food I severed with a glass of water.

"Wow, thank you", Bayo said, surprised.

I sat on the chair.

"Come and join me to eat", Bayo said.

No, I'm ok. I ate not quite long before you came, I said to him.

Bayo commented on my food, that I was a great cook and I was quite happy.
After he was done eating, I took the plates and the cup to the kitchen for wash. Immediately, I was done I came back to the living room and sat on the chair beside him.

" I'm sorry for not, replying your message and not picking up your calls.", Bayo pleaded.

It's okay....I said to him.

"As we were chatting, I received a call that my dad had a serious car accident", Bayo said.

Jesus!... I said, as I opened my mouth in surprise.

"At a time the doctor said he needed to be flown abroad for better treatment."

O my God!, I didn't know all that happened, I said as tears rolled down my face.

"I was planning for my dad to be flown abroad, when the doctor later called me that he is responding to treatments well and he is getting better already", Bayo said.

Thank you Lord.... How is he now? I asked.

"He is ok now, he is getting better. I thank God", Bayo said.

Yeah, thank God. I'm happy he is.

"Yeah, I had a lot of things I was going through, you know my dad is who I have left, I didn't want to lose him also. I couldn't concentrate well, that's why I wasn't able to reply your messages and pick your calls. I'm sorry", Bayo said.

No, you don't have to be. I am really happy your dad is getting better now.

"Yeah, me too ", he said looking at me.

I sighed.

"Hope you are not mad at me?" Bayo asked.

No, why would i be...I said looking down.

I was surprised at Bayo's reactions.
Am I even sure he read those messages I sent to him, I asked myself.

"I know what you are thinking", Bayo said.

I lifted up my head.

" I knew the truth about you being married and you have a son  before you told me.", Bayo said.

I looked at him very surprised.

"Yeah, the church my uncle attends their is a prophet that sees visions for people, he is a very close friend to my uncle. When I told my dad and uncle about you, my uncle said he was going to invite the prophet over to  to pray concerning the woman I want to marry. The prophets came and prayed, he said he saw you were married to a Muslim, you have a child but your husband sent you out. We were all surprised but we believed him as he had seen so many visions concerning us that are true. He also said the wife he married was once married to a man that maltreated her. He said I can still go ahead to marry you If I truly love you, as he has also seen that if I marry you  things will progress more for me", Bayo said.

I was so surprised, indeed noting could get hidden forever, I said in my mind, as tears  rolled down my face.

" My dad and uncle said it is my wish if I still want to go ahead to marry you. I still love ok, you are my joy I can't trade you for anything else. I can't lose who gives me joy. I had just been waiting for the day you will tell me yourself. I love you ", Bayo said, whipping my tears.

I broke down the more crying, I didn't deserve such love from Bayo.

"Don't cry sweetheart, once my dad is well,I will introduce you to him", Bayo said, still whipping my tears and petting me.


PART 52
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

I was so surprised, Bayo knew before I told him.

"You don't have to cry, we all make mistakes sometimes in life. I also have my own past, I have my own mistakes I told you about when I just got a job before I gave my life to Christ", Bayo said.

I still could not stop crying.

"Your past doesn't judge you and I can never use it against you. I love you no matter what happens. You are my joy ", Bayo said, and hugged me to himself, still petting me.

I still wished I had told him the truth earlier. Indeed Bayo's love for me is incomparable, I wished I had met him before I met Ibrahim.

" It's okay, don't cry", Bayo said and kissed me.

An hour later after I had calmed down, Bayo asked me about my son.

"So where is your son?" 

With a friend of mine, I said.

"Why?" Bayo asked seriously.

I explained all to him, how It all started, how Johnson got missing and all.  I told him Joyce and her husband were the one gave me the place I am living, I also told him Johnson was the one who said he wanted to live with them because I didn't have enough time for him, I started crying again, as I flashed back telling him everything that happened.

He was very surprised.

"It's well, don't cry. I'm here for you", Bayo said.

He petted me, for me to calm down.

"What's his name?" 

Johnson.. I said.

"Wow, can I see his picture?", Bayo asked.

I took my phone and went through my gallery.

This him, I said, giving Bayo my phone.

"Wow, a young handsome boy", he said surprised.

I smiled.

"What's is age? What class is he?"

I told Bayo.

"It's alright. I am ready to take him as my very own son", Bayo said.

I couldn't believe it.  Tears rolled down my eyes. Bayo, is just such a different man, which other men out there would still truly love me after knowing my past and still be ready to accept my child as his own, they are rare. Bayo is just one in a kind", I said in my mind.

"I would love to see Johnson", Bayo said.

You can see him anytime, we can go there tomorrow, I said.

"That's ok", Bayo said.

An hour later, Bayo changed the topic of our discussion.

"I have a surprise for you", Bayo said smiling. 

What's that? I asked immediately.

"I'm very sure you will like it."

Tell me naa, I said wanting to know instantly.

"Okay, am on vacation at work, am on leave."

Okay..... I said.

"And I would love us, I mean with Johnson also, to spend sometime  outside the country."

Hmmm, Are you serious? I asked him, surprised. 

"Yeah, I would love us to go to Johannesburg, in South Africa", Bayo said.

Wow!!!....... I said in surprise, happily.

" Yes, sweetheart. I traveled there two years ago. I have a very close friend of mine who lives there."

Wow, Oh my God!.. I said happily.

"Yeah, I always want to see you happy."

What did I do to Bayo, to deserve all he is doing for me. God chose him to restore my Joy, I said in my mind.

We kept on talking about the arrangements, how it will be travelling and all.

We talked for a long time, till it was 7pm.

"Sweetheart, I have to get going now", Bayo said.

No, you are noting going anywhere. Can't you stay over since you are not going to work the next day? I asked him, as I didn't want him to go home, I had missed him so much and i still wanted more time with him.

"I didn't plan to stay till the next day, and I didn't know you will want me to spend the night in your house", Bayo said.

Why not!... I said.

"Ok dear but I would still love to go now, when next I come we will go to see Johnson", Bayo said.

No, why don't you want to spend the night in my house?  Is anything wrong in my house? I know it's not as good as yours, but.....Bayo cut me off.

" Shuuu...", he said removing my weave-on that was covering my face.

"Your house is good ok, and my house isn't my house ok, it's ours", Bayo said.

 So will you stay over till the next day? I asked him , I really wanted him to stay.

"Yes I will", Bayo said.

I smiled and he kissed me.

"Have delayed my driver for long, let me go tell him I won't be going home today. I will give him transport fare so he can get home", Bayo said.

Ohhh, that's true, I said. I almost forgot his driver was the one who drove him.

He left to meet his driver, who was sleeping in the car.

" Is there any eatery we can have dinner? " Bayo asked.

C'mon, you are here in my house, and you are talking about an eatery, I said to Bayo.

"I'm sorry sweetheart", he said laughing....
"I didn't want to stress you."

No, you are not stressing me at all. I will prepare dinner now.

"I can't wait to taste your food again", Bayo said.

I laughed and walked to the kitchen.

 I prepared dinner and we ate. Bayo slept over in my house.


PART 53
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

The next day, I called Joyce to tell her I am coming.

 
After breakfast, we were preparing to go see Johnson.

You can't put on that same clothe today na, I said.

"But I didn't bring any other clothe", Bayo said.

Wait, what's your size of T-shirt and jean trouser?

He looked at me surprised.

Yeah, tell me so I can call on my sales girl to bring one for you. I don't want you to repeat the same clothes.

"Wow", he said in surprise.

Yeah, tell me.

He told me his size. I called my sales girl immediately and told her, I sent the picture of the T-shirt I wanted her to bring as I had that same T-shirt, it was unisex. I sent her my address and told her to be fast as possible.

She will be here soon, I told Bayo.

Two hours later she called me that she has arrived. I came to take it from her, I removed it from the nylon, looked at it well before putting it in.
 Sure this must be his size, I said in my mind.
 I thanked her and paid her transport fare for to and fro. 

Here it is, I said to Bayo.

He took the nylon, and brought it out.

"Wow, this really nice", he said,  smiling and admiring it.

Yeah...I said, smiling too.

"Wow, the T- shirt is just the same as what you are on", he said.

I nodded my head, smiling.

"Thanks so much", Bayo said.

Yeah... Change to that, be fast, i said, and walked away.

"Sure, so how much am I owing you now?" He asked when he came out of the room.

You are not serious, I laughed.
 I knew he was serious but I didn't need him to pay back, he had done things worth more than for me.

When we arrived at Joyce house, she welcomed us happily.

As we walked into the sitting room, Johnson ran up to me happily, I carried him and hugged him happily. He was so happy.

"Oh, I'm sorry for not introducing him to you at first. Meet Adebayo, I said to Joyce.
Dear, meet Joyce my friend I told you about. 
They both shook hands.

This is Johnson, I said to Bayo.

" Wow, how are you boy?" He asked Johnson.

"I'm fine", Johnson replied.
He stood still staring at both of us, am sure it was because we were on the same outfit.

"Have your seats", Joyce said to both of us.

What of your husband? I asked Joyce.

"He isn't at home, he went for ministry work", Joyce.

Wow.., I said.

Bayo held Johnson closer to him, they were talking. 
Me and Joyce were talking also.

"What a smart boy", Bayo said.

I smiled, Joyce smiled also and nodded her head.

As me and Joyce kept on talking,  Bayo whispered in my ear that I should take Johnson to come spend sometime with us since he is on holiday.

As we still kept on discussing, I told Joyce I would be taking Johnson to spend the holiday with me. I sensed it that she was sad a bit after I told her. I came closer to her and sat by her side.

I so much love the way you trained Johnson up, I couldn't have done it better and I'm sure God is happy with you and your husband. Don't worry God will grant you children, I said to Joyce.

"Amen", Joyce said with a teary eye.

I consoled her.

As we came out about leaving with Johnson, Joyce whispered in my ear that we need to talk later, I was sure it was because of Bayo.

"Mommy, you have changed your house again", Johnson said, when we got in.

Yes love, I said to Johnson.

Bayo looked at me and we both slimed.

 I was preparing food in the kitchen when Johnson came to meet me in the kitchen.

"Mommy, who is that man?" Johnson asked.

I didn't know what to tell him.

Don't you like him?, I asked Jonson.

"Yeah, is talking to me like he is my daddy. I wish daddy is still alive", Johnson said.

My mind flashed back to Ibrahim and my mood changed.

"I want to see my daddy", Johnson said with a teary eye.

It's ok dear, all will be well, I said, petting Johnson  who was already crying.

Bayo came in and asked why Johnson was crying. 

Don't mind him. It's noting serious, i said, petting Johnson.

That was another  reason I wanted Johnson to live with Joyce and Abel, the more he sees me, the more he reminds me of his dad, the more he does the more i feel depressed.

When the food was ready, I served the food in one plate for the three of us to eat, the same way me, Ibrahim and Johnson ate sometimes as one family.

As we kept on eating Johnson did not, I knew why but I kept silent.

"Johnson, why are you not eating?" Bayo asked him.

"Because, this the same way me, my mommy and my daddy use to eat when he was alive and you are not my daddy", Johnson said to Bayo.

I didn't know what to say.

"Is he dead?" Bayo asked me seriously.

I will explain to you later, I said calmly.

Johnson... I said. 
But he walked away.

I could see it that Bayo felt bad at Johnson's statement.

Please, i am sorry for what he said he is like that, I said to Bayo.

I knew Johnson wasn't happy that me and Bayo were together, just like the way me and his dad used to be. Johnson had been watching the way we have been talking, laughing, the way we are close, the way we pecked each other, am sure he didn't like all with the strange looks he gave to me at those moments.

"Tell me the truth now, he is dead?" Bayo asked.

No, I just had to lie to him when I found him back, i said, with my eyes filled with tears.

"Why?"Bayo asked.

He kept on asking about his dad, the more he did the more I remembered and  felt depressed the more, that's why..... Bayo cut me off.

" It's okay, I understand ", Bayo said.

I'm sorry for the statement he made, I said to Bayo, as tears rolled down my eyes.

"You have noting to be sorry about. He is right I'm not his father ", Bayo said sadly.

Bayo pushed the food away from his side.

Are you not eating again? I asked.

"I have lost appetite", Bayo said.

I looked at him as tears rolled down my face.

I lost appetite too.

We kept mute for a while.

"Does his dad knows his whereabout?" Bayo asked later.

No, I told you I found Johnson after we both separated and ever since then we haven't seen or spoken, I said to Bayo as tears were still rolling down my face.

"It's okay. Don't cry" Bayo said, and sighed.

I sighed also, and whipped my tears.

"Let's all leave tomorrow to my house, so we can make arrangements for the travelling ", Bayo said, and rested on the coach to rest.

The next morning I woke Johnson up that we were to leave for Bayo's house. He asked me why I explained to him and he was very happy.

The second week we were in his house, something came up and I had to relocate my boutique to another location.

His dad was discharged from the hospital, hale and healthy, as Bayo told me and I was so happy.

 To cut the long story short.
All arrangements were made. We traveled happily we spent a month there before returning back home. It was really a great experience.

When we were back, Bayo  kept on talking to me to come see his dad, but I kept on refusing.

*Three months later*

I was in Bayo's house one saturday morning at 11am.
Bayo didn't welcome me happily like he used to do.
As I was talking he kept on replying me faintly.

Bayo are you ok, I asked him after observing him.

"Sweetheart, I'm not feeling fine at all", Bayo said.

What's wrong? I asked surprised.

"I don't know."

Have you eaten?

"Yes I managed to."

Have you gone for medical check up?Have you taken drugs?

"No, none."

It may be malaria dear, I said to Bayo, looking at him with pity eyes.

" I think so also ", Bayo said faintly.

When last did you go for a medical check up? I asked him.

"More than eight years ago", Bayo said.

That has been long. I don't like the way you are at all, I think we should go now, i said.

"Let me call my driver to take us to the nearest hospital" he said.

 He managed to stretch his hand to take his phone, his hand couldn't reach, I got up immediately and gave him the phone.

His driver came and drove us to the hospital.

Everything was done, the doctor carried a test on him. We waited patiently for the result.

The doctor came in and sat in front of us.

He sighed before speaking.

"Who is she to you?" The doctor asked Bayo.

"She's my wife to be", Bayo said.

"I see, madam can you please excuse us I want to talk to him privately", the doctor said.

"No, anything you want to tell me let her know", Bayo said.

"Are you sure of that?" The doctor asked.

"Yes", Bayo said.

The doctor paused for a while and sighed again. We kept on looking at the doctor.

Jesus!... I didn't know when I screamed out loudly.
I couldn't believe it, I was shocked the doctor said Bayo is infected with HIV.
I looked at Bayo surprised.

"One may be infected with HIV and may not know till after some years, it doesn't just show quickly", the doctor said.

" Doctor, please tell me it's not true " Bayo said, as tears rolled down his face.

The doctor tried his best to comfort him and talk to him.
He told Bayo HIV wasn't the end of one's life, that there are a lot living with it but one won't know. He told Bayo how he could manage his health status.

The doctor advised me to take the test also, but I refused, I knew well there was no way I am infected as I had had noting to do with Bayo.

Bayo couldn't hold back his tears.

 The doctor gave him some drugs, he told him how to use the drugs, he also told him to come to the hospital immediately if he notice any change.

As we walked out from the hospital, Bayo held my hand, I withdrew my hand from his quickly, tears were rolling down my face.

"Please, do not see me as a bad person. I never knew until today", Bayo said, as tears were rolling down his face heavily.
 
I didn't know what to say.

"I told you all that happened before I gave my life to Christ. I know it's my fault, i'm carrying the cross now", Bayo said.

I stood still, whipping my tears that didn't stop.

Bayo stretched his hand to touch me.

Don't touch me, I said.

He was shocked.

I walked away from me.

"Are you leaving me?" Bayo asked.

I didn't say a word, I turned to look back I saw his tears had increased the more, one could see his pains.
I felt like turning back to go meet him but I didn't.

When i got home I was still crying.

So everything just has to end now, I said in my mind, as I cried out my eyes bitterly.
I still couldn't believe what the doctor said, but it is true.

Bayo kept on calling and messaging me, I didn't pick his call nor reply his texts messages.

I couldn't stand the pains that everything is going to end between me and Bayo, I loved him so much.

Three weeks later, Bayo stopped calling and messaging me.

Where do I begin from again? I asked myself crying.
 I felt the pains again, it was like my pains weren't just going to end.


PART 54
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

I missed Bayo so much. Even when he knew i was married and I have a child he still loved me, his love for me was unconditional.

I picked up my phone to call him, he picked up immediately.

"Hello", Bayo said calmly.

"How are you doing?" I asked him.

"I'm okay, by God's grace", he said calmly.

"I'm sorry", I said, tears were about rolling down my eyes.

" It's okay", Bayo said.

"I'm sorry", I said again.

"I heard you", Bayo said.

"I have something i want to tell you", I said.

"Go ahead."

 "There is a program that will take place this friday by 5pm till 8pm it's going to be powerful i know, and I want you to be there. We can leave from my house"

"I understand. I will attend as you have said, thanks", he said, calmly and sighed.

"You don't have to thank me."

"It's well", he said.

" Take care", I said.

"Okay", Bayo replied.

"I will call you later", I said to him.

"Okay", Bayo said.

"Bye", I said.
I waited for like 20seconds he didn't say anything and I hanged up. Tears were rolling down my face.
I invited for a program that will be taking place in Abel's church, I just believed and hoped he will be healed there.

On that friday he came and we both left for Abel's church.

To cut the long story short....
As Abel was ministering, prophesying into people's life he walked down the alter, he sighed and paused.

"There is someone here right now, you  have been living unhappy ever since the doctor confirmed you to be HIV positive, the Lord said i should tell you today that he has turned your sorrow to joy", Abel said.

" Amen! ", the congregation shouted loudly.

"Go to that hospital for a test again and come back to give your testimony", Abel said, with boldness as he walked back to the altar.

At that time, Bayo was on his kneels shedding tears. 
I looked at him for a while with tears filled in my eyes. 

When we got home, i prepared food for us to eat. I severed Bayo's food in a different plate, normally we do eat with the same plate. I was about lheading out of the kitchen when i changed my mind___

"No, Bayo will feel bad. Alfter all I can't contact l HIV eating from from the same plate with him I said in my mind.
I turned both food into one plate with two spoons on eat.

Let's eat, I said to Bayo.

" Why did you have to do this?", Bayo asked calmly.

What? I askedl him confused.

"Serving the food in one plate for us to eat, when you know my health condition", Bayo said and sighed.

My eyes were filled with tears because of the statement he made.

Doesn't stop us from eating together. I love you, I said to him as the tears rolled down my face.

"I love you too", Bayo said.

I know God has answered our prayers the man of God confirmed that, I said to Bayo.

"I hope so", Bayo said, sadly.

Believe it, I'm very sure of that, I said, to lift up his faith.

" Thanks. I believe", Bayo said. 
But I could see it in him that he didn't truly believe.

Let's eat now, I said.

"I think you should still serve yours separately, no one would love to eat with someone like me if they know", Bayo said as tears rolled down his eyes.

I could feel his pains.

Stop it ok, please stop. Don't say that again, you are hurting me the more. I don't care, i love you and I will always do, I said.

He whipped my tears with his hand. 
We both eat 
together.

The next day 
Bayo left to his house.

I kept on talking to Bayo to go for a test, but he didn't.

Things were going okay with me and Bayo, but not like it used to be anymore.

Some months late.

I was sitting in my room with Johnson, he was on mid term break, so he was with me.
My phone rang. It was my gateman in my house I rented out that was calling. He had been calling me for over there months, telling me a man and a woman come to look for me. 
I picked up the call.

"Ehenn, madam good evening o. That man come today again ooo, but he no come with that woman and that man. He talk say he still they look for who get the house o. Na almost everyday the man they come with one man or one woman sometimes. Madam I no give am your number o as you talk say may I no give your number to anybody, but I tell the man say you dey come this saturday as you tell me last week. The man talk say he go come on saturday too", the gateman said on the phone.

"Why did you have to tell the person I will be coming on Saturday!", I yelled at him angrily on the phone.

"Madam, abeg no vex na for three months now the man done dey come find you. Madam abeg forgive me, if you tell me may I no tell am, I swear I for no tell am. Abeg madam", the gateman pleaded on the phone.

"It's.. It's okay", I managed to say to calm down.

I told the gateman not to give the person my number for safety reasons, my mind kept on telling me may be those harm robbers must have seen me, and probably after me. I wanted to go to my former area where I lived on saturday for something else and I told the gateman a week ago when he called.

I messaged Bayo on WhatsApp to tell him.

Me: The gateman in my house I told you I rented just called me today again, that a man with a woman or sometimes with another man come to look for me. It's been three months now he had been calling to tell me.

Bayo: Hmmm, three months??? And you are just telling me now.

Me: I'm sorry, I didn't just want to bring the issue up .

Bayo: it's okay, I understand you.

Me: I'm just scared, I just hope the person isn't looking for me to harm me.

Bayo: Why would you be scared? Harm you for what?

Me: I told you about the incident, that happened to me  more than a year ago na.

Bayo: Yeah, you did. You don't have anything to be scared about ok, no one is going to hurt you.

Me: I'm just scared though.

Bayo: You fear too much, that's not good. Why don't you tell the gateman to give the man your number so you can talk to him.

Me: Not at all, you know they can trace people through phone calls.

Me: Sweetheart, relax don't panic. It may be your mom and your dad, or your brother. You haven't spoken to them since no matter how many times I told you to call them and go see them, they may be the ones looking for you.

Me: Hmmmmm, you may be right. ( I was quite happy, my mom was back looking for me.)

Bayo: Yeah, since you told me you are going to that area for what you want to do on saturday, we can both go together, so you won't be scared. 
( He replied with a smirk emoji.)

Me: Wow that will be nice but am not doing it again.

Bayo: Why?

Me: We will talk about that later, when you come.

Bayo: Alright, how is Johnson?

Me: He is fine, he is here with me. He is reading a Bible story.

Bayo: Wow, that's nice.

On saturday Bayo was at my place, we both put on the same native attire. We left with Johnson. I directed the way to him as he drove.

When we got there, the gateman opened the gate, Bayo drove in and parked. We all came out from the car.
The couple weren't around, the door was locked.

"Haa, madam long time o! Thank God you done come o! The man no dey let me rest at all", the gateman said loudly.

You say the man comes sometimes with a man or a woman, I said to the gateman.

" Yes ooo madam."

And you said, he will be coming today? I asked the gateman.

"Yes madam o. Ehehn na him dey call now", the gateman said, and picked his call.

"Hello! Madam done dey here o! Come fast before she go go o! No come dey disturb me later o, come fast fast o", the gateman said.

I looked at Bayo, who was looking at me.

"Madam, na him o, he tell me say he still dey come. Oga good afternoon o", he greeted Bayo.

Bayo replied him.

Who could that be?

"Don't worry, we will know", Bayo said.

"Daddy, I want to drink water", Johnson said.

 Johnson later got along with Bayo, well after we came back to Nigeria. He loved him so much that he started calling him 'Daddy.'

"Ok, my boy", Bayo said. 

Bayo walked up to the car, brought out a bottle of Eva water and gave it to Johnson.

Bayo, and I sat in the car.

Johnson, leave the hot son and come inside the car, I yelled at him.

He ran, opened the car door and entered.

 See how you are sweating ehnn, I said.

"Shut the door, let me put the AC on", Bayo said.

I shut the door, I took a tissue paper to whip sweat from Jonson's face.

" Daddy, open your phone, I want to play game ", Johnson said.

You like games in phone ehnn, I said.

Bayo laughed, as he unlocked his phone and gave it to Johnson to play game.

"I'm sure it's your family that comes looking for you", Bayo said.

I smiled.

"It will really be great", Bayo said.

I nodded my head smiling.

We waited patiently in the car for and hour, before we heard a car horn at the gate.

The gateman, rushed to the gate.

" Madam! Na him o! He done come o!", the gateman shouted, jumping like he was hoping to see what would happen next.

"Let's go and see", Bayo said.

Johnson wanted to follow us.

Johnson, wait we are coming, I said.

When we got to the gate, a man and a woman came down from a car, I was shocked on seeing them.

Lo and behold, it was Ibrahim and his mother.

What are they here for? I asked myself.

 We stood still looking at each other, like we were both dumb.


PART 55
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

Ibrahim, was shocked on seeing Bayo, because we were on the same attire I guess.

"What's wrong?" Bayo asked, looking confused.

I didn't say a word. We kept on looking at each other, as I flashed back to the day I parked my things to leave. I felt the pains again.

He walked closer to me, with is mom by his side.

"I'm sorry", Ibrahim said, on his kneels pleading.

Sorry, who are you? I asked him.

"You don't know him?" Bayo asked.

I didn't say a word.

"Please, forgive me I'm sorry", Ibrahim pleaded.
 
His mom was pleading also.

"Oko mi jhor, we know we have wronged you but please forgive my son, your husband. Please......his mom kept on pleading.

I'm so sorry, I don't know both of you. I don't understand what you mean, I said, walking far away from them.

Ibrahim and his mom both turned to look at each other surprised.

"What's going on?I don't understand", Bayo said looking at me.

I looked else where.

Johnson, ran out.

"Daddy, open the phone, it has locked ", Johnson said.

Ibrahim and his mom, were shocked on seeing Johnson. Ibrahim kept on  looking at Johnson. He and his mom were very surprised,  their mouths were wide open, like they were speechless.

Bayo, opened the phone and gave it to him.
As Johnson turned about leave, he stopped and stood still, looking at Ibrahim and his mom.

"Ahmed!", Ibrahim yelled out, like he had actually confirmed he was the one.

"Daddy!!", Johnson yelled out in surprised running up to him. 
_Blood is thicker, than anything_ I said in my mind. 
Ibrahim, opened his hands wide as Johnson was running up to meet him.
I walked faster and held Johnson. I  carried him.

Ibrahim and his mom, were surprised at my action. Tears almost filled Ibrahim's eyes.

"Leave me! I want to go and meet my real daddy. You lied to me that my daddy has died!", Johnson cried out.

Ibrahim and his mom were shocked at Jonson's statement.

"Haa, dead bawo?" His mom said, and started pleading.

I carried Johnson into the car and locked it.
He kept on hitting, the glass of the car crying and shouting, 'Daddy.'
"Mommy, you are wicked, you lied to me",  Johnson said. I felt hurt, as more tears filled my eyes. I was trying hard to hold back my tears.

His mom walked in, talking to Johnson through the glass of the car.

Bayo, sighed like he knew what was now going on.

"Please, I know I did a lot to hurt you badly. I'm sorry, I didn't know what came over me, I didn't know what happened. Please forgive me", Ibrahim said, on his kneels.

I kept on looking at him, as tears the tears that filled my eyes rolled down. I whipped the tears off immediately with my hand.

Ibrahim, got up walking closer to me.

Don't dare come closer to me, I said to him.

He stood still, looking at me surprised.

"Please, you are hurting me more. Have been looking for you for the past three months, please forgive me. I still love you, please", Ibrahim pleaded, as tears were rolling down his eyes.
 
Ibrahim, kept on pleading and pleading.

His mom walked outside.

"Please my daughter, forgive us we still love you. We are sorry please my dear", his mom pleaded.

I stood still, looking at both of them.

"We don't know how you found Ahmed but thanks to Almighty Allah", she said raising her hands up thanking God.
"I know we made you go through a lot, but please my daughter forgive us so you, my son, and my grandson can be back together and be one happy family again."

"Yes", Ibrahim said, nodding his head as his mom was talking.

He still kept on pleading.

He and his mother, still kept on pleading seriously.

Hmmm, I said and sighed. After more than a year now.

"Please, it's a long story am no longer with her. I don't just know how it happened, I don't know what came over me. Please forgive me. Even though you not going to  hear me, please  consider that of  mom that's pleading also", Ibrahim said on his kneels.

His mom nodded her head.
" Yes, my daughter please."

Consider, your mom indeed, I said.

"Please, it's a long story my mom wasn't the one that introduced me to Aliya, I'm sorry for lying to you. Please forgive me. Please let's solve things and be back together", Ibrahim said.

Wow, I see but your mom was in support of you marring her, I asked him to really know the truth.

He and his mother both looked at each other.

" Yes, because she's a Muslim that was the only reason. I don't know how it happened please forgive us", Ibrahim pleaded.

His mother gave him an angry look.

"Please, oko mi jhor. I understand how you feel but please you are his wife please forgive us", his mom pleaded.

Well it's late now, I said.

They were surprised at my statement.

Yeah, as you can see this man here is my husband, I said, holding Bayo closer to me. And he has legally adopted Johnson as his own son.

Ibrahim and his mom were shocked.

"Tell me you are lying", Ibrahim said as the tears that rolled down his face increased the more.

He walked closer to me and held me.

"Get your hands off me!! I yelled at him at the top of my voice angrily.

He couldn't believe it. His mom was surprised.

I'm now happily married ok, go enjoy your life with Aliya. Ohh, you said she's is gone, go beg her back use the time you are wasting here to go plead on her to come back. I beg you do not come into my marriage and destroy it ok! I said to him, not minding how he felt.

"Please remember the love we shared together", Ibrahim said, with a shaking  voice.

And you think I still remember all that, I said and laughed out as my mind flashed back to the good, lovely times we had together. Tears almost rolled down my eyes  again, but I stayed strong.

Bayo, looked at me.

I am sorry, it's late now, I said to Ibrahim.

"At least please allow me to see my son", Ibrahim pleaded.

"Yes his son. Please my grandson", she said pleading.

You can't , I said.

"Please, I can't believe you have suddenly changed. I know I hurt you badly but I didn't know how it happened please forgive me and let me see my son at least."

His mom still kept on pleading.

Get out! I yelled at him.

Let's leave, I said to Bayo.

"Please don't go, I promise to make it up for you. You can't be married, I didn't marry Aliya, you are my wife, and you locked up our only child in that car crying", Ibrahim said as his tears didn't stop rolling down his face.

His mom still kept on pleading.

It's like you don't understand me, I'm married ok, I said to Ibrahim.

"No you can't, you are my wife and we have a son", Ibrahim said.

Sweetheart, let's leave, I said to Bayo.

Ibrahim walked inside the compound, talking to Johnson through the glass of the car. 
Johnson, was seriously crying, hitting the glass of the car. I knew his temperature must have been high already.

Open the gate now! I commanded the gateman, who had just stood still watching the whole scenario like a movie, without saying a word or doing anything.

"Ok, madam o", he ran to open the gate.

"Na wa o, things they happen for this world o. If person watch am for film, person go say na film, na wa o. God make you help us o", the gateman said, as he opened the gate.

Sweetheart, why are you still delaying? let's get in, I said to Bayo.

"Please, don't go", Ibrahim said and held my hand.

I withdrew my hand from him quickly.

"Please,  at least please let me see my son", Ibrahim pleaded, trying to stop me as I was about to enter the car.

I pushed him with all the strength I had in me. He couldn't believe it, i had  never treated him in such manner before.

"Mommy, you pushed my daddy away. I do not love you anymore", Johnson cried out like he had never in his life.
His mom walked up to Ibrahim, calming him down, that all will be okay.

I entered the car, and Bayo started the engine to leave.

"You are my wife weather you like it or not and I will make sure I fight  legally to have my son back", Ibrahim shouted angrily as Bayo drove out.

Tears were rolling down my face, I couldn't hold my  tears back any longer.

"Mommy, you told me is not good to lie, and you lied to me daddy is dead. You don't want me to see my daddy. I hate you, you are a wicked mother", Johnson said angrily, crying.

Johnson, statement hit me hard I broke down crying the more.

Me and Johnson were both crying in the car.

Johnson, later slept off at the back seat.

Bayo, drove silently without saying a word.


PART 56
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

The next morning, on a sunday, we didn't go to church. I prepared breakfast for us to eat. When I gave Johnson is food to eat, he threw it away angrily saying, he won't eat unless I take him to see daddy. He went into the room crying.

Bayo still kept on talking to me to forgive Ibrahim.

"I understand you but he is your husband, you are married to him", Bayo said.

Stop it okay! I yelled at him.

"Just look at Johnson at least he has refused to eat, he keeps on crying, please consider him also and forgive him", Bayo said.

It's like you don't understand what i have really been through. You want me to go back to that family that hates me because I'm Christian? I asked Bayo in tears.

" I understand more than you think i do, but I think they now have a change of mind now", Bayo said.

What if they suddenly change towards me. Only God knows what they are up to wanting me back, I said. I couldn't hold back my tears.

"You see in this life, sometimes we make mistakes and later come to realize it. We are human, we are not perfect. He is the father of your son. Marriages clash sometimes, and when one realises his or her mistakes and come to beg and the other is ready to forgive, things start to go well. I'm sure he is back to his right senses that's why he is back begging  you and I'm very sure he will cherish you more than ever this time. No good man would want to lose a woman like you", Bayo said.

Please, just stop it ok. You are hurting me with all you are saying. I never expected you to be saying this Bayo, I said, crying.

"Yeah, but the truth remains the truth. I won't want you  not to forgive the man you married because I love you, no. I won't do things for my selfish reasons. Please... ", Bayo pleaded.

I have forgiven him a long time ago if that's what you want  to hear, I said to Bayo.

"Yeah i know that. What i mean is that i want you to go back to him and i will know you have truly forgiven him", Bayo said.

I'm not going back to him ok! Have learnt my lessons, I said, still crying.

"Consider Johnson, he won't be happy with you, in truth he hates you right now", Bayo said.

I don't care. He doesn't understand anything, he will get over those attitudes with time, i said to Bayo.

He sighed.

Bayo, please stop it, your words are hurting me. You the one i love, i said, crying the more.

He sighed again.

"I love you too, but we can't go on anymore", Bayo said, with a teary eye.

Please, don't say such. I believe God has answered our prayers.

"I will die anytime soon", Bayo said, as the tears began to roll down his face.

You won't die! Don't say such.

"One has to just accept the truth in life", Bayo said and sighed.

Bayo, please stop it please. Go for a test again, i know God has heard us please, i pleaded, still crying.

"Have heard you", he said whipping my tears and petting me.

Just then Johnson came to the sitting.

"I want to drink caprison", he said.

"He must be very hungry now, since he didn't eat dinner yesterday and he threw away his breakfast this morning", I said in my mind.
 I looked at Johnson and sighed. Bayo looked at him also.

Johnson, i will get it for you later, I'm not in the mood now, I said.

He started crying.

Johnson, get away from my sight now! I yelled at him angrily.  I poured out my anger on him, like he was the cause of my pains.

"Let's go and get it", Bayo said, petting Johnson.

He refused to eat, so let him be, I said to Bayo.

Bayo, still got up to go get it for him.

Rest, i will go myself, I told Bayo.

It's caprison you want? Let's go, i said, to Johnson.

When we got to the gate, I opened  the gate, then I realized I didn't take my purse with me. We walked back to the house, Johnson waited for me in the veranda.

"What happened?" Bayo asked.

 I didn't take my purse along with me, I said, walking to my room.

"Seems Johnson loves caprison drink a lot?" Bayo asked.

Yes, very.. I said.

"Why don't you get the carton of it at home?" Bayo asked.

His mid term break his over, am supposed to have taken him back to the  house he loves to stay, I said.

I heard Johnson's footsteps running.

Johnson! Wait for me, I'm coming! I yelled out. 

"Even though, how much is the carton of the drink?" Bayo asked.

I don't know. Ibrahim was the one who used to get it then, I said and sighed.

"It shouldn't be one more than 4k."

It shouldn't be up to that, I said, as I tried to calculate how much it may cost.

He took his wallet and counted 4k out.

"Get it for him and make him happy", Bayo said, giving me the money.

It's well, I said and sighed.

"We still have a lot to discuss", Bayo said.

When i walked out of the house to the veranda, I couldn't believe it. Ibrahim and his mom were at the front of the gate. Ibrahim carried Johnson tight to himself.

I stood still for a while, looking in surprise. Me and Ibrahim maintained eye contact looking at each other.

"How did they get to know here?" I asked myself.

PART 57
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

Leave my son! I yelled at him angrily, from where i was standing.

Bayo, opened the door and came out.

"What's happening?" He asked.

He looked towards the gate, he saw them and kept mute.

I walked up to him angrily, to pull Johnson from him. I hated seeing him because of what he did to me, but I still had feelings for him. Before, I got to gate, they  walked outside the compound. Johnson was already in his car with his grandmother.

I looked at him, angrily.

 I walked up to the car, pulling the handle of the door but it was locked.

Open this door now!!!! I kept on shouting at him, forcing the door to open with  teary eyes.

"Please, calm down. Take things easy", he was on his kneels pleading.

Look! Am not going to take it easy unless you let my son out now! I shouted at him, as tears rolled down my eyes.

"Please, he is our son, our son. Not your son alone. Please, calm down we can solve things calmly. I know you still mad at me that's why are acting this way", he pleaded, begging me.

I didn't listen to him, i still kept on shouting at him to let my son out. I started hitting the glass of the car angrily crying, I wished the glass could just break at that moment.

I got so angry the more as he still kept on pleading.

Get out! I yelled at him angrily than ever.

It's seems you want your car to be destroyed, I said to him angrily.

" I don't care. I love you and i want you back. You all that matters to be now", Ibrahim pleaded.

I will never come back to you, never! 
I took stones from the ground and started throwing it at the glass of his car, angrily.

His mom started pleading inside the car.

"Please, just stop acting mad. What if the glass gets broken and injures our son, you will regret it and we will both suffer it", Ibrahim said, still pleading.

"That is true." I stopped, i broke down crying the more. Johnson, was silent.

Free my son now!!!! I kept on yelling at him angrily, forcing the handle of the car again.

He still kept on pleading.

People gathered around asking me what was happening.

This man here kidnapped my son before I came out of my house.

They all looked at their selves. 

"But your son you say is kidnapped isn't even crying or saying anything", one of them said.

 I don't understand too. You all know how people now kidnap this days, i am very sure he must have charmed my son that's why he is just keeping quite, i said, hoping they will help me.

They all looked at their selves. Some brought out their phone to start recoding.

Ibrahim stood surprised with his mouth wide  opened. Bayo too stood surprised at my statement.

"Young man, release her son now!", a man shouted at him boldly.

"Do you know who you are talking to? You don't know what's going on! You just come here to shout at me!", Ibrahim yelled at him angrily.

The man stood still.

"He is my daddy! My mommy is lying! She doesn't want me to be with my daddy. She lied to me that my daddy is dead!", Johnson said, inside the car.

They all looked at their selves and fixed their eyes on Johnson.

Johnson! I said loudly in my mind, as  tears kept on rolling down my face.

"Madam, why na? 
What did his father do?
 Na wa o women wicked o.
 Madam what ever he has done please forgive me.
So if this small boy no talk now we for believe this woman.
I fear her lie, her lie strong ", I heard different of them say. Some later left. Some still kept on recording.

Ibrahim, stood like he now had rest of mind.

Bayo stood still, without saying a word.

"Please ma, i don't know what he might have done, please forgive him he is still your husband. Such things happen in marriage, please forgive him", a woman pleaded.

You don't know what have been through.... I said, crying as i flashed back.

People started pleading for me to forgive him.

Ibrahim, walked closer to me.

Stay out of me!! I yelled at him angrily. 

"Ha madam e done too much na", a man pleaded.

"Na wa o, even as all of of us still dey beg, ", one of them said.

Ibrahim, walked closer to me and held my two hands, pleading.

Leave me alone! I yelled at him angrily, crying. I was forcing myself from him, but his strength is far more than mine.

Two people went closer to car, talking to Johnson.

Leave me alone! I kept on yelling at him angrily. I was hoping one them would come help me but they didn't. They were still pleading for me to forgive him, that he is my husband no matter what he had done.

His mom sat in the car, like all she cared for was her grandson and she had gotten him.

"No, am not going to let you go never not this time", Ibrahim said.

Leave me! I'm not going back with you. Get your hands off me! I hate you."

"Please baby, forgive me i know you are still mad at me that's why you are acting this way. Calm down please. Let's settle things and leave like one happy family again. I'm sorry. I love you and i can't live without you.

I'm married! I told you ok! I shouted at him, forcing myself from him, crying.

Ibrahim, turned to look at Bayo angrily.

Bayo stood still calmly. I could feel his pains also.

"Look i don't care, i am not taking that. You are my wife and that's our son there", he said.

I don't love you anymore, he is the one i love, i said, still forcing my hands from him.

 He looked at Bayo again as if he should just destroy him immediately.

"So because of this man here, you want .... I cut him off.

Yes! He is far more better, he can't even be compared to you. I hate you! I shouted at him angrily at the top of my voice.

"Oh i see!", Ibrahim said, as he got angry the more.

"I can see he has done something to you! You were never like this.
Now listen to me! Ibrahim said angrily than ever....
"You are going with me today weather you like it or not."

I looked at Bayo, his eyes were already filled with tears.

People, still kept on pleading.

Bayo, walked closer to me. Ibrahim, looked at him angrily than ever. He was panting like he should just destroy him.

"This is when you have to show your true christianity, to forgive. He is your husband and the father of your son. Christ forgave us so we are to forgive our fellow human", Bayo said.

Ibrahim looked at him surprised. Some, nodded their heads to what Bayo said. 

I looked at Bayo quietly. His words hurt me the more, as tears still kept on rolling down my face.

Bayo, walked in. Later he open the gate.  He entered his car and started the engine.

" Bayo! Bayo! Bayo! Bayo!...I screamed out crying, forcing my hands from Ibrahim.

Bayo, drove out he parked and came out from his car.

I calmed down a bit, i thought he was leaving.

Bayo, walked closer to me.

"I don't think we are meant to be together with the way things happened", he said and sighed.

Don't say such, you are hurting me the more, I said, crying.

Bayo sighed again.

" Dear, things that happen in life, some are just meant to be temporary some are meant to be permanent. Ours was just temporary I guess. But everything happens in life for a reason we may know later or may never know."

I looked at him quietly, as my tears kept rolling down my face.

"I must confess you one of the best woman i have ever met in my life. I just have to go now", Bayo said, as the tears in his eyes rolled down his face.

Bayo walked up to his car, he started the engine and drove.

No...Bayo! No..No..No..Bayo! Bayo! Bayo! I screamed out crying, forcing my hands from Ibrahim with all my strength than ever.

Haaaaaaaaa.....haaaaaa.....haaaaa...haaaa, I screamed out in pains crying as Bayo drove out of sight. That was how Bayo left.

"Now you see, he has left you", Ibrahim said.

Get out! Leave me! I hate you!  You made him to leave! I shouted at Ibrahim crying, the pains came back again.

People, still kept on pleading for me to forgive him, some were still recording.

"Mommy, forgive my daddy and let's go home", Johnson said, crying.

I still kept on forcing myself from him crying.

"Am not going to let you go. I love you", Ibrahim said.

With people that were pleading, Johnson that was also crying, that's how Ibrahim forced me to go with him.

Ibrahim's mom didn't say a word she held Johnson close to herself, looking at me.

"Bayo, Bayo why", I said in my mind, crying.

As he kept on driving, I couldn't stop crying.


 PART 58
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

Though Ibrahim had forced me to go with him, i followed him too because of my son Johnson he hated me,  because i didn't let him go near his father and that hurt me the more. Johnson's cry pierced my heart that's why I followed him, you know that motherly affection for a child.

"This is our house!" Johnson shouted happily when we all came out from the car. 
He still remembered.

He and his grandmother went in. 
I stood still crying, as I flashed back to the day we first moved in into the house, the day I slapped Johnson, the day the harm robbers came, how Johnson got lost, how Ibrahim had brought Aliya in, the day I left the house. I felt the pains the more as i remembered.

"Please, let's go in", Ibrahim said.

He wanted to hold my hands, but i didn't allow him too.

"Please, i am sorry. Let's go in please", Ibrahim pleaded.

I hesitated for a while, before i quietly followed him in.

When we got in, i flashed back to Bayo and what he said...
"Dear, things that happen in life some are just meant to be temporary, some are meant to be permanent. Ours was just temporary i guess. But everything   happens in life for a reason we may know later or may never know."

I broke down the more crying. Ibrahim, kept on pleading and petting him.

His mom was in the kitchen, preparing food.
When the food was ready they ate but i refused to no matter how Ibrahim begged me to eat.

Later his dad arrived. Am sure they had told him Johnson was found.
  Johnson, stood still, looking at his grandfather. He walked up to him and carried him. Johnson, still kept on looking at him strangely, am sure he didn't recognize him again.

His mom sat beside his dad. His dad kept on talking to us, to settle things between us. 

They asked me how i found Johnson and i narrated the story to them.

His mom didn't really say much, I still noticed that look on her face that she didn't still like me due to the fact i am christian, or may be it was just my thought.
 

 Ibrahim said Aliya had a man who she was engaged to, she lied to him that the man is her elder bro. Ibrahim, said he helped him get a job through his connection. He said they also traveled out of the country and the day they were supposed to come back to Nigeria, before he woke up Aliya had left to live with a friend of hers there. Later after some months she helped the man she called her brother to travel to come meet her.  He said, Aliya later confessed all that to him one day when she called him.

"So it's because of what Aliya did to Ibrahim that's was why his mom followed him to come look for me pleading", I said in my mind.

"They are married and doing very well. Please, forgive me. I was very stupid. I didn't know what came over me am sure she must have charmed by her. Please, I love you", Ibrahim said to me, as tears rolled down his face.

His father sighed.

"That's how it happened. I was never in support of that when i got to know. When i came here he told me you had left, I tried my best to reach you but your lines weren't going through. We are very happy, Almighty Allah brought Johnson back to us. Please, forgive our son so you can now live as one happy family, and I and my wife will be happy too", His dad pleaded.

I sighed.

Johnson, had slept off since on his grandmother lap.

His dad talked to us till 1:45am.

"I'm very happy, you have forgiven our son", his dad said smiling.

" Thanks baby. I am so happy. I love you so much", Ibrahim said, on his kneels holding my hands.

It's okay, i said as tears rolled down my eyes.

"It's late now, I think we should all go to bed now", his dad said.

We both hugged each other, crying.

His mom and dad smiled, looking at both us.

"Baby, you haven't eaten", Ibrahim said.

"She will eat now", his dad said.

"Your food is still covered in the kitchen, let me go get it for you", Ibrahim said.

He fed me on the dining table and i managed to eat. His mom and dad kept on looking at us smiling and talking.

As we walked to our room, i stopped to open the door of Johnson's room it looked so dusty. I flashed back to the times we lived happily.

"C'mon ", he said as he carried me like a baby to our room.

Jonson's, slept in the same room with his grandparents.

When we got to our room, he opened the door and switched on the light.

I stood, looking all around. It was still the same, only that my things were no longer in his room as I had taken all. The room was filled with only his things like that of bachelor's room.

He came closer to me, i looked at him.

PART 59
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

He walked closer to me the more.

Hey! Don't you dare take a step again, i said in anger.

He looked at surprised.

I laughed at him, mockingly.

I thought you were smart? You truly think i have forgive you? I asked him.

He stood still, looking at me. He couldn't believe it.

"I thought you have forgiven me", he said.

Yes, i had forgiven you right from the day I left your house ok.

I just acted like I had forgiven him, just to respect his parents, so it won't be like elders are begging me and am still refusing to forgive him. You know as a Yoruba lady, i have to show respect to them.

"Then why are you still behaving like this to me?" He asked.

Look, am done with you since over a year now, i said.

He went on his kneels pleading.

Ibrahim, stop wasting your time pleading, ok!

"Please, like i said i didn't know what came over me. You the one i love and no one else", he said, still pleading.

I want you to just know one thing in that brain of yours that i didn't follow you back because i love you, i did that because of my son Johnson. It hurt me as a mother to see him cry. I acted like i have forgiven you just because of your parents.

He looked at me surprised again.
He still kept on pleading.

He came closer to me to hold my hand.

Ibrahim, don't you dare come closer to me, have warned you.

He still did.

I raised my hand and slapped him on the face.

I looked back immediately, to be sure his parent didn't hear, so they won't come. I respect his dad so much, he is so nice, that is the more  reason i acted like i had forgive him. 

Ibrahim, got up looking at me surprised, with his hand on his face i slapped him.

He walked to the door, and opened it.

Where do you think going? I asked him quietly.

He paused and looked at me.

Mom's pet, I said mockingly.
You are going to report to her right?
If you do, i swear the next day you found Johnson and i,  and if you try to do anything i swear you will regret it. Don't think you putting security guards or whatever like you did then will stop me, I said to him, seriously in anger.

He locked the door and came to sit on the bed.

I stood still looking.

He later spoke.

"Won't you come to the bed to sleep, it's late please", he said.

On which bed? With who? Who isn't my husband,  no i can't do that with a man who forcefully took me away from the man i am married to, i said

He looked at me surprise again.

"Please, do you know what you said, how it hurt me now? " He asked.

Who cares? I said, without caring a bit how he felt.

I sat down on the sofa chair in the room to rest.

He bowed his head, with his two hands on his face.

I had almost slept off, when i felt someone touched my shoulder, i got up quickly. The lights were off.

"I'm the one", Ibrahim said.

Who? I asked him pretending not to know.

" Me", he said.

Haven't i warned you not to ever touch me with that hand of yours again, I said angrily.

"Yes you did. Please, I'm sorry", he said.

I hissed and laid down on the chair.

"Please, let's talk things out this night", he said pleading.

I got up again.

Ibrahim, or whatever you call yourself there is noting to talk about again. I'm only here because of my son, just to make him happy and noting more.

"I know. Please, i want you to be here for me also. I love you please, i can't live well without you. Please, i was  just so stupid. I didn't know how it happened. I promise to do anything to that will make you happy with me again. I love you", Ibrahim said, as tears rolled down his eyes.

Even if you die now and come back to life for me to accept you i don't care, i won't accept you. We are done since ok. Don't you get! 
I am tired of you begging me, ok! Leave me, or don't you understand english anymore? Fi mi le ha! I said in anger, and hissed.

He still kept on pleading. 

I got up angrily and walked to the sitting room. He followed me still pleading. 

No... no...no, Ibrahim what's all this? I am tired of your pleading o ti sun mi , I said quietly, angrily. I walked back to the room, he followed me back.

You are frustrating me ok, i said, as we entered the room.

He still kept on pleading.

Please, Ibrahim just leave me ok. Go back to your Aliya or whatever. You cherish her na. 

"Please, don't ever mention her name again."

I looked at him.

I'm so sorry i took  you for granted. You the only one who is everything to me more. Am noting to you right now but i am just noting without you, my life is just noting without you. When i realized myself since three months ago i couldn't live without you. I had to beg a guy to follow you up the day you left with that man. I had no cash on me I had to give him one my most expensive phone, just for him to agree to follow you up. Please I'm sorry. You have all the rights to me mad at me but please forgive me. I deeply regret hurting you, i deeply regret making you leave, it's the greatest regret I have in my life right now. Please, forgive me. I'm sorry for destroying our marriage. Please, i love you. I'm deeply sorry. You can see the pains in my eyes", he said, on his kneels facing me.

 Uncontrollable tears kept rolling down his face.

Leave me. Just get out, I said, and pushed him away.

"Please, i am not going to leave you. You are the one i love", he said, pleading holding my hand.

If you don't leave me now, you will regret what i will do in the next second,  I said angrily.

He took away his hands from me.

" No matter how long, i am ready to wait till you forgive me", he said.

He whipped his tears away with his hands, as he went to sit on the bed.


PART 60
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

The next morning,
he woke up  before me. We both sat down staring at each other, it was really crazy. 
Later Johnson walked in, he stood looking at the both of us. Ibrahim, walked up to him and carried him. Johnson, kept on looking at me.

His mom prepared breakfast. We sat down, eating on dinning like one big happy family who just reunited.
They kept on talking, i managed to flow in the discussion. Jonson too was talking. 
I kept on putting on a fake smile. I gave Ibrahim a different look, anytime he glanced at me as we were eating.

"Why are you looking that?" His mom asked when she noticed me.

No ma. I'm trying to tell him something, he understands, I said,  smiling the more.

His mom turned to look at him.

"Yes, i understand her", Ibrahim said, smiling.

Good... I said in my mind.

"E fi le o. They both understand each other", his dad said, smiling at the both of us.

"Ha, e ma bi nu o. Mo ti gbo", his mom said and continued eating.

"It's a lie", Johnson said.

We all turned and focused our attention on him. I gave Johnson a angry look. I knew Johnson knew i hadn't forgive him.

"What's a lie?" His mom asked.

He kept mute, looking.

I knew he didn't say a word because of the look i gave him.

I paused, when i had managed to eat half of the food.

Please, excuse me. I'm coming, I said, and got up smiling.

"Okay my dear", his dad said.

His mom kept on looking at me.

"Where are you going to?" Johnson asked.

I'm coming, i said walking away.

Ibrahim, got up.

"Kilode? Ni bo le lo?" (What happened? Where are you going?) His mom asked him.

"Mo bor." (I'm coming), Ibrahim said.

He followed me to the room.

No, can you just tell me what's your problem. Must you follow me like we are tied together? I asked him, looking at him angrily.

"I'm sorry. Why did you get up as we were eating?"

And how as that got to do with you? I asked him angrily.

"I'm sorry. Can we go back now?" Ibrahim asked me.

Did i ask you to come with me? So why must we go together?

He sighed, looking at me.

My phone rang. It was Joyce, she had been calling me since.

I picked up the call, and told her i will call her later.

Ibrahim looked at me, like to know who called me.

His mom called him, and we both left the room immediately.

I held his hand smiling, as we walked down the stairs. He didn't say a word.

After all, his parents left in the afternoon.
 
It's time to show Ibrahim, i said in my mind.

I was walking out of the house to sit outside, when Johnson ran up to me and held me. He started crying.

What's it? Why are you crying? Did he do anything to you? I asked him.

"Mommy, you are going", Johnson said.

I sighed. I thought it was something serious.

I'm not going dear, i said, petting him.

"Okay. Let's go inside", Johnson said.

Let's go, i said and carried him.

Later Joyce called, i explained everything to her. She was surprised. She talked to me to forgive him that God has brought him back. She was so happy saying..God has restored my marriage, that i should be happy.

"God has brought him back" I kept on recalling Joyce's statement.


PART 61
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

My attitudes still remained the same towards him.

I tried calling Bayo, but his line weren't reachable and he didn't come online.

Ibrahim, still kept on pleading as usual.

"Baby, please get dressed let's go out for a family dinner like we used to do", he said calmly, one evening.

I kept mute, like i didn't hear him.

"Can we please go out for a family dinner?" He asked.

I still kept mute.

"Mommy, please get ready let's go", Johnson pleaded.

I still kept mute.

"Listen to my daddy na", Johnson said.

Ibrahim was pleading.

Johnson, started crying.

Johnson! Enough of all this your cries ok! Let me be, i said angrily, and walked away.

No matter how he kept on pleading, i didn't change my attitudes, instead it was becoming worse day by day.

A week later, Bayo was online.
I was on a call with Bayo.

"Sincerely, i miss you", Bayo said calmly.

I miss you too here, i said.

"What will be will be. How is your husband and Johnson?" He asked.

Johnson, is fine. I don't care about him, he isn't my husband. Please, don't ask me about him again, I said.

"Dear listen, noting can change the fact that he is your husband. I thought you would have forgiven him, before now. It's obvious he loves you and he only made a mistake, no one is perfect. Please, i'm pleading on his behalf", Bayo said, on the phone.

"Bayo  please, stop it ok, stop. You talk like you don't know all i had been through. If you were to be in my position would you forgive him?" I asked him almost in tears.

"Yes, i would", Bayo said.

"Please, let's change the topic. You are hurting me, I said as tears rolled down my face."

"I'm sorry", he said. 
"Dear, i don't want to be the reason why you won't be back with your family. My mom had always told me then never do things for my own selfish reasons. Please, i am pleading again forgive him."

"You are hurting me the more, Bayo. Please, stop it", i said to him on the phone. My tears were increasing the more.

"Dear", he said.

I miss you so much, Bayo. I love you, i said to him, crying on the phone.

"I love you too. I can't easily get over you. I think about you every seconds that I breath", Bayo said.

*Bayo, God wants us to be together that's why we met", i said to him on the phone still crying, as i kept on flashing back to how Bayo loved me. His kind of love was real and rare. His love is what any lady could die for.

"God works in a way we can't understand dear. If God wanted us to be together, things won't happen the way they did", Bayo said.

"Bayo, don't talk like that please."

"Dear, i love you but we can't be together. You know the condition i am now and soon if they get to know at my work place i will receive a sack latter on my table the next day", Bayo said.

I could feel his pains through his voice i was hearing.

"Bayo, please go for a test i believe God has changed you. I'm only here in his house because of my son Johnson, and since Johnson isn't ready to leave him, i would leave Johnson alone", I said, still crying.

"Don't do that", Bayo said.

"Can we meet?" I asked Bayo, crying.

He kept mute.

"Bayo, please talk to me. Don't hurt me the more. You are the one i wish to be with", i said to Bayo on the phone, as  tears still kept on rolling down my face.

"Who are you talking to?" Ibrahim asked me angrily.

I didn't know he had been standing, listening to my conversation.

I didn't say a word to him.

"Hello, hello, Bayo", i said but he had hanged up already, am sure he heard Ibrahim's voice.

"Who called you? Or who did you call?" He asked angrily.

I looked at him angrily, and hissed.

He asked me again.

How does who i'm talking to has anything to do with you, I yelled at him angrily.

"Yes! I'm your husband and i must know who you just talked to!" He yelled at me angrily.

Husband indeed! I said.

I looked at him and hissed.

I was about to dial Bayo's number, when he grabbed my phone from me angrily.

Give me back my phone now! I shouted at Ibrahim angrily.

"Oh wow, i thought as much. A picture of you and him wow, wow", Ibrahim said angrily.

I saved Bayo's number with a picture of me and him.

"I know he is the reason why you haven't forgiven me", Ibrahim said.

Ibrahim! Give me back my phone right now! I shouted at him angrily the more.

"No!" He shouted back angrily.

I took the glass cup of water i was drinking and poured it on his face.  He was surprised.
I took my from him angrily.

Johnson, started crying.

As i opened the door about to go out he walked up to me and held my hand. The glass cup in my hand fell and broke into pieces.

What do you want again? I asked him, looking at him angrily.

"Please forgive me, i'm sorry. It's just that i can't stand you loving another man", Ibrahim said, on his kneels, with a teary eye.

He got up and hugged me tightly to himself.

Johnson, walked up to us, crying. He held him also.

I started crying.


PART 62
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

The next day in the morning, kazeem came.

He looked so thin, he had lost weight.
After greetings and all, i asked him what happened. He said he had been sick for three months, he just got better two weeks ago. I really felt pity for him.

Lord, please save your children don't let us go through pains, i said in my mind, as i kept on looking at kazeem as he was talking.

He talked to me, to forgive his cousin Ibrahim.
Am sure, Ibrahim was the one who called him, for him to come plead on his behalf, as kazeem is his best cousin, they are just like  brothers.
For him to had taken his time from where he lived to come to our house and when he just recovered two weeks ago, i felt he was really nice. 
I had to pretend again, like i had truly forgiven Ibrahim. 
I prepared food, we all ate happily. Johnson, too was happy.
He spent hours, before he left.

When he left, we came in and sat on the same chair.

"I'm happy we back together, happy again", Ibrahim said.

Don't think i have forgiven you, i said and got up.

"But"...he said, i cut him off.

But what? I told you the only reason i'm here is because of my son Johnson, i said and walked away.

Joyce and Abel, still kept on calling me to forgive him. After so much persuasion from Joyce to send my address that they wanted to come, i sent it.

Some days later, Joyce and Abel came.
Johnson, was so happy on seeing them.

To cut the long story short, they talked to both us. They talked to me to forgive him.
I told them, i have heard what they said.

When they were about leaving, i approached Abel.

I don't know why you want us to be back together. His mom dislikes me because i am a christian, his elder sister dislikes me ever since she got to know i converted to a christian after we got married. I have been through a lot. Not all my story i can tell now, i said to Abel, as tears rolled down my face.

"I understand you. You have to be patient. The Bible says tho sorrows may last for a night, but joy commeth in the morning", Abel said.

I sighed.

"Yeah, don't try to destroy what God is working out well for you ", Abel said.

But he is a musilm, i don't think God is really the one who wants us to be together again, i said.

"You are married. The Bible never supports divorce or separation.  God is in control. Just keep on praying, there is noting God can't change."

Yeah, i said and sighed, whipping my tears with my hand.

Abel placed his hand on my shoulder and told me it's well. Joyce, hugged me. They both hugged Johnson too before they entered their car and left.

When they left, i entered the house and walked up to the room, Ibrahim followed me.

"I'm sorry", Ibrahim said, looking at me.

I'm sorry too, i said.

He was very surprised.

"I love you", Ibrahim said.

I love you too, i said smiling.

He walked closer to me and hugged me.

"I want to let you know something", Ibrahim said.

What's that? I asked him.

"I love you, no matter what happens i will never let you. My life is just noting without you. Today is one of the happiest day in my life. I missed you so much", he said, still hugging me.

I miss you so much too, i said holding him with my hands at his back and my head on his chest. 

I missed him so much. I missed that nice smell of him. I remembered the day a man walked into my boutique and came closer to me to ask me some questions, i kept on looking at him, his perfume fragrance made me remember Ibrahim so much that day, when the man left i broke down crying. I only treated him that way because of what he did to me, i still had feelings for him. I really missed him. I love him right from the first day we met.

 We started kissing, after a while he carried me and placed me on our bed.


PART 63
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

I'm sure Abel must have prayed for me to forgive him before he and Joyce came.

The next day.

He woke up before me.

"Good morning, baby", he said smiling.

Good morning, i said yawning.

I looked at him, smiling. He came closer to me and kissed me on my lips.

Stop..i said smiling.

"What is it again?" He asked.

You know i don't like it when i haven't brushed.

"I do", he said smiling.

He held me closer to himself, our faces were closer to each other. We were both smiling, staring at each other.

"You can't maintain an eye contact ", he said.

I laughed.

" Tell me how you want us to spend the day?" He asked smiling, adjusting my hair that was covering my face.

I kept mute, smiling.

"Answer me", he said, looking directly into my eye.

I don't know, i said to him still smiling.

"I wish i could spend the whole day in bed with you alone", he said. 
His hand was still on my hair, and the other of his hand on my body.

You not serious, i said and giggled.

"I'm baby", he said and kissed me on my lips.

We kept on talking and  smiling, till we heard a knock at the door.

"Mommy! Come and and open the door!" Johnson yelled, turning the knob of the door.

Son, i'm coming, i said.

"Okay!" Johnson said.

Ibrahim, got up to go open the door for him.

"Daddy!" He said happily, as he opened the door for him to come in.

"My boy", Ibrahim said and carried him.

Hope you slept well? I asked Johnson, smiling.

" Yes", he replied, nodding his head.

"Are you sure?" Ibrahim asked him.

"Yes, i am sure", he replied.

Johnson, looked at both of us surprised, he kept on smiling.

Johnson, why are you looking at us like that? I asked him, smiling.

He didn't say a word, he just smiled.

Ibrahim and i, both laughed.

"Where do you want us to go today", he asked Johnson.

"Anywhere", Johnson replied him.

Is anywhere a place? I asked him, laughing.

"Mommy, why are you laughing", Johnson asked me.

"Don't mind her", Ibrahim said.

You have started again o, i said to Ibrahim.

He looked at me and laughed.

"I will take you to go cut your hair first", he said to Johnson.

But, it's still okay, i said.

" Yeah, but i want him to have a different hair cut like mine", he said smiling.

No o, i like the hair cut. It fits him well, i said.

"What do you know about men's hair cut."

I looked at him, smiling.

"Don't you want to change your hair cut?" He asked Johnson.

"Yes", Johnson replied.

So, you don't like your hair cut? I asked him.

" Yes", Johnson said.

"I told you", Ibrahim said and laughed.

You and your dad are the same o, you are the younger version of him, i said.

Ibrahim, laughed out loudly.

I prepared breakfast, we ate happily.

 We went out  later, we had a lot of fun before we came back.

In the evening, we   tuned the TV to our favorite channel to watch.  

Things were going on well. Johnson, was registered in a new school. I took him to where i relocated my boutique to. 
We started living happily, than ever.

A month later.

Johnson, later kept on telling his dad not to call him " Ahmed", that he is a christian and not a muslim again.

 Ibrahim kept on complaining, that he didn't like the way the pastor changed Johnson. But, i was very happy the way they brought him up in the way of Christ.

One saturday, Ibrahim was outside washing his car. Johnson was outside too playing. I sat in the veranda.

"Ahmed!", Ibrahim called him.

He stopped playing and turned back. 

"Daddy, have told you my name is not Ahmed again", he said, walking up to meet him.

"And who even told you that?" He asked Johnson.

"Mr and Mrs Abel, my second mommy and daddy  said Ahmed is a muslim name and i am a christian", Johnson said.

"Wow! He said surprised. They are not your parents okay! He shouted at Johnson. Ahmed, is your name okay!

Johnson, stood still looking at him.

Later that evening, Ibrahim came to me, still complaining about Johnson. 

"I will change him myself", he said angrily and left.

It was serious, he wanted Johnson to practice his own religion. But Johnson wasn't ready to.

Two weeks later.

Bayo, called me.
He told me he fell ill and he went to that same hospital for a check up. To cut the story short, he said the doctor confirmed him HIV negative. He said even the doctor couldn't believe it, the doctor had to carry out the test twice before he believed. He said he went to another hospital for a test to be very sure, and they said he is HIV negative. Bayo, was just so happy. He thanked me so much for inviting him to the program. I told him not to forget to share the testimony at Abel's church, he said he was going to do so. He asked me about my family, i told him we were doing fine that we had settled. He was happy that we were reunited. I was so happy for Bayo too, i went down on my kneels to thank God.

One thursday evening, we were in the living room. I was about leaving for an evening service.

Johnson! I called him, he was in his room.

"Church, church, church again. Don't you get tired?" Ibrahim said.

I'm a Christian. I must go to church, i said to him.

"If you are true christian you will pack your things and start living in church", he said.

I will soon do that, i said.

 "Everyday church, sometimes you won't sleep at home at night, in the name you are going for vigil", he said.

I looked at him and laughed.

Son! What are you still doing!? I shouted so he could hear me.

" Rara o, he is not going with you", Ibrahim said.

Huh... I said.

"Yes, you are free to go but he isn't going", Ibrahim said.

Why? I asked him.

"Church early morning, church  morning, church  afternoon, church evening, church night, church midnight, na wa o!", he said.

I almost wanted to laugh.

"Ahmed, isn't going with you ", he said.

And you, are you not supposed to me at mosque now? I asked him.

"Am not going", he said.

Do you ever go, i said to him.

"I pray you realise yourself one day, and stop going every time, early morning, morning, afternoon, evening, night, midnight. Sometimes you leave this house for days, that you going to camp. Na wa o.
 You had better start going now, before you go and tell your pastor i delayed you", he said.

And i pray that one day, you will give your life to Christ, i said to him.

"Na you know that one. Ahmed isn't going with you, that's it", he said.

So you want him not to go to a church or mosque? I asked him that so it won't be like i was against his religion.

"He will soon start going to mosque", he said.

I looked at him and sighed.

"Ma lo o", he said.

Have heard you, i said to him.

"That your church that likes money. They can collet offering up to ten times."

Haahann, i said with my mouth open.

"E gba", he said giving me two five hundred nair notes for offering.

I collected it from him.

I will use this as a contact to pray for you, so you can give your life to Christ.

"Na, you know", he said and turned to the TV.

That's how it continued stopping Johnson from going to church with me.

Four months later.

We were in our room in the night. I prayed as a christian, he said his prayer as a muslim, before we laid on the bed.

"Baby", he said.

Yes dear, i said.

"Thought you were already sleeping."

No, i said.

"Why? What are you thinking of?" 

Noting, i said.

"Then why are you still awake?"

We just prayed not up to 45mintues ago na, ha!, i said, tired of his questions.

"Am not ready for all those your attitudes this night o", he said.

Whatever, i said and hissed.

"Anyway, my mom is coming tomorrow", he said.

Tomorrow? I asked him.

" Yes."

And you didn't tell me since.

"C'mon, you know how she does, she just told him this evening", he said.

Wow, i said.

"What's wrong?" He asked me.

Noting, i said.

"Ok oo. Good night. I want to sleep now", he said, and put off the light, covering himself with the blanket.



PART 64
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

The next day in the afternoon, his mom arrived, greeted her well.

 I prepared food for her, she ate.

At evening time.

"Ahmed, wa bi,(Ahmed, come here), she called Johnson.

Johnson, stopped what he was doing and walked up to her.

"My name is not Ahmed", he said, looking at her.

She looked at him, surprised.

"Ahmed, is not your name?" She asked him.

"Yes", he said boldly.  

"Haaaa", she screamed, and looked at Ibrahim.

Ibrahim, kept mute. She turned to look at Johnson.

"Who told you, your name is not Johnson?" She asked Johnson, looking at him seriously.

"I'm a Christian. Ahmed is a muslim name", Johnson said to her.

She turned her face to me, looking  at me in anger, i turned my eyes away from her direction.

"Muslim ni yen o! Don't let anyone deceive you, ok!" She said to him.

"No, i'm not", he said, angrily.

She kept on telling him he is muslim. Johnson, kept on auguring with her. 

Later he started preaching to her.

"Haaaaaaaaa", she screamed in surprise with her hands on her head, as Johnson was preaching to her.

Ibrahim, looked at Johnson in anger, like , 'You this boy, i have been warning you.'

"Ha, kiloshele o?" She asked her son, still surprised.

I got up and walked away, because of the angry face she was giving me, like i caused it.

They still kept on auguring, i heard Ibrahim talking as i walked up the stairs to the room.

At night, we kept on auguring.

"Now, you can see all you have caused", he said, looking at me angrily.

Am i the one who told him his name isn't Ahmed? I asked him in anger.

"As if you are not in support, or you think i don't know you still take him along to your church when i am not at home", Ibrahim said.

I do not force him like you do ok! Johnson, has the right to choose which of his parent religion he wants to practice. I'm not forcing him like you do! I yelled at him angrily.

"Just keep quite, do not annoy me the more. My mom is mad at everything, and you are the cause. Don't frustrate me the more", he yelled at me angrily.

He was standing, i was sitting on the bed.

I never did anything wrong, don't shout at me! I yelled back at him in anger.

"I shouldn't shout  when my mom is very angry. You know all this will be a problem, but you still kept on taking Johnson with you to church. I wonder if you ever want peace in our home, he said, angrily the more.

Johnson, has the right to choose any religion he wants. After all, according to the law one has the right to practice any religion, and Johnson chose to practice mine, is that why you are just so mad, i said in anger.

"Wow, Mrs Lawyer. Are you not the one who doesn't want him to practice my religion,  my religion is bad like you say", he said.

I never said your religion is bad ok.

"Even though you don't say it, your reactions show it, because if you don't feel it's bad you won't stop Ahmed from practicing my religion. You have no respect for my religion ", he said, looking at me angrily.

I did not force Ahmed, if that's your problem.

"You do. I let him practice your religion  yet you don't want him to practice mine. Now you see the problem it has caused", he said.

Enough! Enough! Ok.

We kept on qurelling, till the door opened, immediately we paused, Johnson, walked in.

"Weather you like it or not, your name is Ahmed, and you are a muslim", he said to Johnson in anger.

Johnson, stood quietly looking at him, before he walked away.

We continued qurelling again, till i got up to leave for Johnson's room.

I opened his door, as i switched on the light, he raised his face up immediately, Johnson, was crying. I knew the reason why he was. I sat on his bed petting him.

Johnson, don't cry please. All will be fine, i said  to him.

"Grandmother, shouted at me angrily, she said if i say i am a christian again she will beat me very well", Johnson, said as he was crying.

She won't beat you, she's just lying to you, i said, to Johnson almost in tears. I knew at that time she hated me already, thinking i changed Johnson.

"She will beat me. She took my Bible from my room today, she took my super book and other books Mr and Mrs Abel bought for me. She said i must not say 'Jesus' again", Johnson said, as he cried out.

I was surprised, i didn't know she had done all that. I still kept on petting him.

"Don't mind her. It's ok, don't cry. Everything, will be fine", i said, to Johnson.

"No, she doesn't even like you again, she said you are the one forcing me to be a christian. She said daddy is the cause for marrying a christian like you", he said, crying.

This is really serious, i said in my mind, as the tears in my eyes began to roll down my face.

"She said by tomorrow, i will start going to mosque and i will start going for 'ilekewu'", Johnson said, crying out the more.

No, you will not. I'm here with you ok, i said, as tears still kept on rolling down my face.

"Mommy, you are crying."

No, i am not, i said, whipping my tears with my hand.

"You are lying, stop crying."

I sighed.

"Mommy, why did you marry daddy that is a muslim? Johnson asked me.

His question hit my heart, as i flashed back, tears began to roll down my face again.

Johnson, looked at me waiting for an answer.

Johnson, it's a long story you can't understand now. I will tell you when you grow older, i said, crying.

Johnson, took his T-shirt on the bed, using it to whip my tears. I held him tightly to myself, we were both crying.

"Mommy, daddy is in support with grandmother. I don't want to go to mosque, if I don't go grandmother will beat me, i am scared of her, mommy", he said.

You don't have to be scared of her, ok. You are not going anywhere  i am here with you, i am your mother, i said, to Johnson.

I'm not going to let her have her way, like i did then, i said in my mind.

" Mommy, what about daddy too?" He asked.

Just leave him. Don't cry, i am with you, son.

I kept on petting him, i tried hard to hold back my tears. 

The door opened, and Ibrahim walked in. 

"Continue, just continue, no wonder! Later, you will be the one telling me, you are not the one who changed his mind. Just hear what you are telling him, he shouldn't listen to his grandmother. You are the cause of why he is now stubborn", he said in anger.

I kept mute, looking at him.

"Ahmed, you had better listen to your grandmother and not her", he said, and walked away angrily.

 Mommy, see daddy now", Johnson said, crying.

Don't worry i am with you, he won't do anything to you.  I hugged me tightly, petting him.

I slept in his room.

The next day.

I still stayed in Johnson's room with Johnson, to avoid  his mom. Ibrahim,  would open the room door, look at me and Johnson and then leave.

Since she didn't say a word or do anything hours, Johnson left to the living room in the evening. I felt relieved.

After about an hour  i heard his mom shouting, i got up immediately from my bed, to go see what was happening.

Oh! No! O my God, i said in my mind. 
Johnson, was crying. She was shouting at him angrily to follow him to the mosque.

"I'm a christian, i am not going", Johnson cried out.

"I said, don't say that again!" She yelled at him angrily.

Ibrahim, stood watching. I stood on the stairs.

"I'm a christian", Johnson said.

She raised up her hand, and slapped him on his face.

No, O my God, i said in my mind. I couldn't believe it. I felt the pains like i was the one she slapped.

She held his hand, forcing him to go along with her.

"I'm not going to mosque", Johnson, cried out.

I couldn't stand to watch my own son, being forced, i walked down the stairs.

Enough!! I yelled at her angrily.

Ibrahim and his mom both turned to look at me in surprise. She still held Johnson, who was crying.

Leave my son, i said to her.

They looked at me surprised the more.

She hissed and turned her face away, pulling Johnson to go with her.

Ibrahim, walked up to me.

"You don't just want peace, right?" He whispered in my ear.

I turned away from him, as tears rolled down my face. She was still pulling Johnson along with her. I walked to the door, i locked the door with the key and held the keys in my hand. When she got to the door, i pulled Johnson away from her angrily. Johnson, stood by my side, holding me tightly. Ibrahim, stood still watching.
Me and his mom both stood still looking at each other in anger, as tears rolled down my face.

"Give me the key now", she said, in a great anger.

No, i won't. You can't treat my son anyhow, i said boldly, looking at her.

The anger in her increased the more.

What's she going to do now? I asked myself, holding Johnson tightly to myself to protect him.



PART 65
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

"I can see you now have the boldness to dare me", she said, in greater anger.

I still kept on looking at her.

"Let me have the key now", she demanded.

She was about to hold Johnson, i pulled him away from her.

She looked at me, she was surprised at my reaction, she turned to look at her son.

"I can now see, you have grown stronger. For the last time give me the key", she said.

Ma, you can't force my son to practice the religion he doesn't want to, i said to her.

"Will you shut up!She shouted at the top her voice. Shey o mo pe, muslim omo mi ni. Didn't you know my son is a muslim before you even agreed to date him to at first, or did he force you to?"

Indeed, that was true. Of course i knew he is a muslim, but i love him. I couldn't just leave him then, even when i did i would go back to him and tell him i am sorry. I wonder why it all happened that way.

"And just look at who calls herself a christian behaving in such manner without any respect."

Ibrahim, was giving me signals to agree to her, but i pretended not to see him.

"You think you are wise, after getting married to my son you converted into a christian back. I have been trying to take it easy with you and here you are opening that mouth of yours to tell me my grandson must practice your religion", she said with so much  anger.

When you forced him to go to mosque then, i never said anything, and now he doesn't want to, you have no right to force him, i fired back at her.

"Am i the one you are talking to?" She raised her hand and slapped me hard on the face.

I wasn't expecting the slap, it resounded in my ears.

"Don't slap my mommy again!" Johnson shouted at her crying.

 I placed my left hand on my face she slapped me, tears were rolling down my face.

Ibrahim, walked closer, pleading on his mom to calm down.

"Look, don't get me annoyed  the more! There are other muslim ladies but you chose this christian. It was your fault. Look at what she is causing now", she said, angrily looking at her son.

He still kept on pleading. He turned to me to agree to his mom for peace to  reign.

I couldn't hold my tears, i stood still crying.

"Leave, my grandson now!" She shouted at me.

No! You can't force him! I yelled at her, crying.

"I can see, you are still proving stubborn", She said. 
She slapped me harder the more. 

I felt the pains harder. I felt like reacting but i stood still crying, because she is Ibrahim's mother, i didn't want to disrespect his mother up to the extent of slapping her back especially in presence.

Ibrahim, held his mom pleading on her to calm down.

I walked away with Johnson to the room.

"Don't think because you had your way today, you will next time", she yelled at the top of voice in great anger.

Why did she come with her son to plead on me to come  back. Not that she was even pleading, when Ibrahim locked up Johnson in the car, she was just so satisfied like her grandchild was all that mattered.

I sat on my bed, crying in pains. 
I wish i had listened to my mom, she saw a lot of things ahead i didn't see, i said in my mind as i recalled all what she told me then. His mom was really against my religion. Ibrahim, was just trying to be neutral, he didn't want to be on his mom side to hurt me and he didn't want to be on my side to offend his mom mother, i understood him well.  Although, he was still in support of Johnson practicing his religion and not mine, but he wasn't imposing it on him like his mom.

"Mommy, stop crying", Johnson kept on saying.

Why all this pains?
Lord, why me! I cried out in pains, flashing back in noting but regrets.
Why am i passing through all this this pains, why? I asked myself, crying.
What did i do to deserve all this?
I have been facing a lot of problems, about my family and his against my religion, but Lord why is it after my fasting and praying to you two years ago my pains increased. Lord, i am not ungrateful, i am still grateful for you keeping my son through Abel and Joyce. But, what have i done to be going through all this? Lord, please i am sorry for questioning you, please Lord take away my pains, i cried out.

I had no one to express myself to. I laid down on my bed crying, bitterly. 

" Mommy, don't cry na. Mommy it's okay ", Johnson said, crying also.

I'm leaving, and once i leave i am never coming back, i said in my mind as i cried out.

I took my phone to call Joyce, she picked up immediately.

"Why are you crying? What's is happening? What's wrong? Please, talk to me na", Joyce said on the phone.

I told her what was going on.

She felt for me. She encouraged me not to give up that the enemies are only trying to fight the more for my marriage not to stand. She told to be strong that God is changing things, i just have to be patient. 

" Please, dear please, don't just give up now. There is noting God can't change. Just keep on praying, i am praying for you also. Please, don't cry please. My husband wants to speak with you ", Joyce said.

Abel still kept on encouraging and telling me to keep on praying.

I'm tired of everything, i am tired", i cried to Abel on the phone.

"I understand you well. You have to be strong don't give up now. God is with you, He is seeing all. God is working everything for good, you won't  know now. You still have to keep on praying, there is noting God can't change" Abel said.

I have fasted, i have prayed,  i have tried to be patient. I don't think God is seeing all this that's happening, because everything just seems to be getting worse day by day. I'm more than fed up, i just can't be strong anymore. I want to leave for life", i said to Abel on the phone crying bitterly.

Abel, sighed.
"Don't talk like that, God sees all. Just know the prayers and  fasting are not in vain. God is in control. God does not support divorce please, you have to be patient. You know  what my wife and i are also passing through, but yet we still keep on praying and believing God over the years, we believe God has his reasons and at the right time he will answer us", Abel said.

I cried out.

He still kept on talking to me not to give up.

" There is noting God can't change. Your husband may the one to even become a pastor later on and he will change his family. There is noting God can't do. Be strong", he said.

Have heard you, i will be strong, i said.

"Yes, my wife wants to speak to you", Abel said.

Joyce, still spoke to me to be strong. She asked me of Johnson, i told her he was with me she told me to give him the phone, i did. She encouraged him not to give up, that he should still keep on praying and serving God. After talking to Johnson, she talked to me again, before i hanged up.

I'm leaving. It was all my fault for coming back with him, i am just so stupid, i said in my mind.

I still kept on crying.

The door opened, and Ibrahim came him.

"Please, it's okay. Don't cry please", Ibrahim said petting me.

Don't touch me, just leave me alone. You watched your mom slap me twice and you didn't even say a word, i said, to him crying.

"Please, i am sorry. It's not that way. Please, forgive her please."

Ibrahim kept on pleading and petting me.

Please, don't beg me anymore. I'm tired already, i want to leave, i said, still crying.

"Baby, please don't leave me. Please, i love you. Remember our promise then, we said we were going to fight through even if both parents were against our religion. I love you, please. We have come this far please don't give up now. My mom will be going soon", Ibrahim said.

He kept on begging and petting me, till i slept off that night


PART 66
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE*

The next day.

I prepared breakfast, she refused to eat. 

The school bus came to pick Johnson, he left for school at 6:55am.

 Later, she went into the kitchen to prepare her own food. 
I stayed in my room to avoid her, she didn't want to see me from her looks.

Ibrahim, kept on talking to me to beg her.

"What's your problem? Why are you finding it difficult to beg her?" Ibrahim asked.

I'm not ok. Stop forcing me to, i said to him.

"I'm very fed up of all this. You think my mom hates you but she doesn't, she only hates the fact that you are a christian", he said.

I don't care! I won't change my religion because of her or anyone else and i won't let her force my son to practice the religion he doesn't want to, i said to him.

"When Ahmed, refused following you to church then didn't you force him, or  you have forgotten when you slapped him then because he refused to follow you to church, he said angrily.

Whatever, i said.

"Wow, i don't really know what has come over you this days, you  say things that annoys me, you just behave anyhow."

If i am, it's your fault ok,  said to him.

"Me?" Ibrahim asked.

Yes, you.

"How?" He asked.

I don't know, i replied him.

"It's okay."

Better, i said.

He stood still for a while, before he came closer to me and spoke.

"Please baby, i just want you to beg her. She loves you. Please, for peace to reign, please", he pleaded in a low tone.

After she slapped me twice yesterday, i said.

"Please, i am pleading on her behalf, forgive her please.

No, i am not begging her. Because of her that's why i didn't go to church yesterday Sunday, to avoid more problems from your mom.

"I know. Please, just go and beg her. She will soon leave."

I do not care. I'm not begging her, i said with teary eyes, as i flashed back to when she slapped me.

He kept mute, looking at me, before he spoke.

"I can see you don't want peace to reign, it is ok", he said, angrily.

 He looked at me angrily and walked away.

Later, he came had his bath, dressed up, took his car key and left.

Later, in the afternoon, i was sitting in the varanda. The school bus arrived, the gateman opened the gate for Johnson to come in. Johnson ran up to me happily, i carried him and kissed him.

How was school today, my love? I asked him, smiling.

"Very fine", he said laughing.

Wow, come and gist me, i said.

"Abeg madam, oga don come back?" The gateman asked.

Were you not the one who opened the gate this morning, for him to go out. You should know that because you the one who in charge of the gate. 

"Abeg madam, no vex."

What's wrong? I asked the gateman.

"Madam, noting o. I just want take permission from oga, i won travel tomorrow go see my wife."

When he is back, i said.

I walked in, carrying Johnson.

I hope you ate your food today? I asked him, checking his lunch kit.

"No", he said.

Why? 

"I'm not always hungry."

Next time, i won't give you food to take to school.

He laughed. He took the remote and changed the channel to cartoon network.

"Wow, my favorite cartoon", he said excitedly.

No, no, not now. You have to take a shower, eat, sleep, do your assignment and read, before you can watch TV, i said to him.

Oooo..ooo.....oo , he grumbled.

I carried him to his bathroom to have his bath.

"Mommy, where is daddy?" Johnson asked, as he was eating in my room.

I don't know where he went to, i said.

"He didn't tell you?" He asked.

No, i said.

"Why?" He asked.

I don't know why.

"What about grandmother?"

She's in her room.

"I thought she has gone", he said, as his countenance changed.

Don't be scared ok. Eat your food, i said to him.

As we were talking, the door opened and Ibrahim walked in.

Johnson, stopped eating. I sat on the bed looking at Ibrahim.

"So, no welcome", he said.

Did i know where you went to at first? I asked him.

"Wow, that's why no welcome. Did you ask me and i didn't tell you?" He asked me.

Did you tell me and i didn't hear? I asked him.

"Anyways, i went to work, i had a case.....I cut him off.

Whatever, i said. I knew he went to work with the way he dressed.

"Ahmed, no welcome too." 

"Welcome, he said in a low tone.

"Not welcome dad, anymore?"

"Welcome, dad", he said.

"How was school today?" He asked.

"Fine", he answered.

"Why are you not eating?"

"Noting", he said and continued.

"We need to talk later", he said to me.

I didn't say a word.

He entered the bathroom, to have his bath.

Later, Ibrahim kept on talking to me to let his mom take Johnson along with her, that she will leave soon, i should just be patient for peace to reign. He said he didn't like what happened yesterday.

"Please, baby." He pleaded.

I sighed.

"You know i love you. Please, just for peace."

Have heard, i said.

"That's why i love you", he said happily, and kissed me.

Go away, jhor, i said.

"I'm not going anywhere without my baby", he said.

We both laughed.

Later, in the evening.
I was teaching Johnson his assignment when his mom walked towards us.

"Oya Ahmed, it's almost time, let's start going", she said, looking at Johnson.

I stood up.

"Go yourself, i am not going with you", Johnson said.

She looked at him angrily.
 
I held his hand.

"Don't dare me again this evening", she said in anger, looking at me.

I do not care what you will do today, my son isn't going with you, i said boldly to her.

We started shouting at each other angrily. I didn't care, i was ready to face her.

"What's happening again?" Ibrahim asked, walking down the stairs quickly.

"Get your hands off my son, he isn't going with you ok!" I yelled at her in great anger.

She raised her hand and slapped me.

"Mommy, don't worry i will follow her" Johnson said, crying.

 Johnson, left me and walked to her.

I knew it's because Johnson didn't want her to slap me again that's why he agreed to go with her. 

No, son, i said.
I felt for my son, as tears rolled down my face. 

Ibrahim, sighed.

"He has said he wants to go" Ibrahim said.

Son, no don't, i said.

"Mommy, don't worry", he said, crying.

He followed her crying.

Ibrahim, sighed again.

"I'm sorry", Ibrahim said.

Don't say a word to me ok!! I shouted at him in anger.

" Please, calm down."

Don't touch me! I shouted at him. You watch our son being maltreated by your mom and you are not saying a word.

"Please, don't use the word 'maltreat', she's not, please. I am surprised, i thought you agreed already."

Get out! And don't open that mouth of yours to talk to me again. 

"Please, i am sorry please. Now she's has gone with him there is no more trouble."

"Your mom slapped me again", i said, as tears rolled down my face.

He knelt down pleading.

I pushed him away.

Ibrahim, i swear i will leave this house with Johnson for you and your mom, i said, crying. 

I walked away from him, he followed me pleading that i shouldn't leave him again.

When Johnson was back he came into the room. He was still crying. I carried him on the bed and hugged tightly. I was crying also.

Ibrahim, kept on looking at Johnson and i.


PART 67
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

The next day.

The gateman came to take permission from Ibrahim, that he wants to travel to see his wife, he gave him the permission. 

Johnson went to school, Ibrahim went to work. I stayed in the room, to avoid his mom.

I forgot something in the living room. As i came out from my room, i saw her entering her room, she looked at me and hissed, i hissed also not minding. 

When Johnson was back from school, i prepared fried plantain and egg for him to eat.

"Mommy, i don't want plantain and egg", he said, as i gave him the food.

Why? What do you want to eat now? I asked him.

"Fried rice", he replied.

Eat this now, i will prepare that for you tomorrow before you are back from school, ok, i said to Johnson.

"No, i don't want."

I tried forcing him to eat, but he refused. I remembered i still had the ingredients for fried rice, so i went into the kitchen to prepare a fast one for him.

As i was cooking, his mom came in. She shouted at me angrily for pouring the hot water in the pot, i thought she was done with it. I didn't keep mute, i shouted at her angrily, i didn't care.  I walked to my room, where Johnson was.

"Mommy, why is grandmother shouting at you again?" Johnson asked.

I don't know, don't mind her, i said to him, searching for my purse.

Let me go and get your food at an eatery, ok. I will soon be back. I don't want her problems, i said.

"Ok mommy."

That's my boy. Take care.

I took my car key and left.

 In less than 45minutes, i was back.

I kept on knocking on the gate, but no one answered. After a while, i heard Jonson's voice...

"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!", he shouted. 

I heard his footsteps, running. I knew his hands couldn't reach up to unlock the gate.

Go and tell her to come open the door for me, i said to Johnson.

"Okay", he said running back, as i could hear his foot steps.

I knew she intentionally locked the gate, so i won't be able to come in. I had mistakenly poured water on her when we were  both shouting at each other in the kitchen.

After a while, Johnson came back.

"Mommy, she didn't not answer me", he said.

I sighed.

"Mommy!"

Johnson, have heard. It's ok, don't worry, i said to him.

"What am i going to do now", i  asked myself.

I still kept on knocking hard on the gate.

Johnson, don't cry ok! 

I started hitting the gate harder. I heard her footsteps walking towards the gate. I was thought  she was coming to open the gate, so i stopped hitting the gate.

"Open the gate for my mommy. Leave me alone", Johnson cried out.

Leave my son alone!!! I yelled at her angrily.

I didn't hear Johnson's voice later, she forced him in.

I started hitting the gate harder again. I took my phone to call Ibrahim, he picked up immediately.

"Now, your mother has locked me outside!" I shouted at him angrily on the phone.

"How?" He asked confused.

Don't you get! She locked the gate, i am outside! I shouted at him angrily the more.

"What happened again?"

Look, don't ask me stupid questions ok! I didn't do anything to her, i said with a teary eye.

"I am just tired of all this. Please, i can't come right now. Please, i will be there soon."

"So your work is more important than me that's standing under this hot sun right!"

"Never! Please try understand, i can't leave what i am about to do soon, it's very very important. I wish i could but i can't, please", he pleaded on the phone.

I didn't say a word.

"Are you hearing me?"

Have heard you. I will stand outside the hot sun and wait for you, i said angrily.

"No, please. Where did you go at first?" 

She didn't let me use the kitchen, so i went out there to get Johnson a fast meal and  she even forced Johnson inside as he was crying.

He sighed.

"Please, everything will be fine when i am back. Are you with your car?"

Yes, i said.

"Ok, you can just check into a hotel that's not far from our house, so you wouldn't stay under the hot sun till i am back, please."

I hissed and hanged up angrily. He kept on calling, but i didn't answer.

I sat down on my car. I bowed my face, thinking about what to do. Not up to twenty minutes, a lady approached me, i looked at her, she was smiling.


PART 68 TO 70

[1/2, 8:40 PM] Life Novels: *PART 68*
*MY PAINS*
© *PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE*

I had been seeing her since i came back, but we have never spoken for once.

"Good afternoon", she greeted me.

Good afternoon, i replied her, wanting to hear why she approached me.

"I'm Stellar", she said, smiling.

Okay, i said, looking at her.

"And you are Johnson's mom, right?"

Yeah, i am.

"Yeah, i do see you and your husband with your son sometimes, i really admire you guys", she said smiling the more.

I forced a smile on my face. Thanks, i said to her.

"Well, my husband and i with our daughter moved into this estate a year ago. But, i started to see you few months ago."

Yeah, i said again.

"You don't really seem to be the type that talks, anyways let's forget about that."

Yeah, i said, looking at her makeup.

"Have been watching you sit under the hot sun for the last thirty minutes, what's wrong?" She asked me.

I didn't know what to tell her. She looked at me waiting for a reply, i didn't say a word.

"Seems you don't want to answer me, anyways i am sorry for not minding my business", she said, adjusting her hair that was touching her face.

No, not that, i am sorry. My mother in law locked me outside.

"What?" She asked in surprise."You mean your mother in-law locked the gate on you?

Yeah, i kept on knocking and knocking, she only came out and took my son in, i said and sighed.

"No, we have to do something."

She hit the gate hard three times, i stopped her.

"What's stop?" she asked.

Please, just let her be. My husband will soon be back. No, matter how you knock i know her she won't come to open, i said.

"My mother in law can never try this nonsense with me", she said angrily.

I sighed.

"What kind of a woman is she? And you are keeping quite, o my God."

Am really tired, i said.

She kept mute for like a minute, before she spoke.

"Can we go to my house?"

No, don't worry.

"C'mon, it's hot, you can sit under the hot sun", she said.

I agreed and we walked to her house, it was just like three minutes walk.

When i got in, i saw her housemaid feeding her daughter of about three years or so.

"Welcome to my house, have your seat", she said smiling.

I looked all around, before i sat. The light went off.

"What would you like to take?" She asked me.

I'm okay, i said to her.

"No, you can't be", she said.

I'm, i said smiling.

"Hey! Is the food done!" She yelled at her maid.

"Yes, madam", the maid replied.

"Serve it for both of us now", she commanded.

"But madam, i am still feeding Ella", the maid said.

"Will you shut up,  you have been feeding her since. I said, sever us the food now!"

"Madam, no vex", she pleaded as she got up immediately, heading to the kitchen.

The little girl continued to eat herself.

Stella, got up angrily.

"What the hell is wrong with this gateman", she  said angrily, as she walked out.

"Hey! Are you okay! Don't you know you have to put on the gen! Do you want me to die of heat in there!" She yelled angrily, outside.

"Madam, abeg no vex, i dey sleep", the gateman said.

"Sorry for yourself", she said and walked in.

"I'm sorry", she said to me.

It's okay, cool down.

"Am just so fed up they give me problem", she said.

It's okay, just take it easy, i told her.

The maid brought the food to us in a tray, she pulled out a stool and placed the food in front of us.

"Make sure you clean that kitchen very well after you have taught Ella her assignment, and have you washed her school uniform?"

"Yes, madam", the maid replied.

"Get out of my sight!" She yelled at her.

"I'm sorry madam", she said and walked away.

"I'm sorry for that", she said to me.

It's okay. Thanks for the meal, i said.

"You don't need to thank me", she said smiling.

I prayed on the food in my mind, before we started eating.

"So tell me,  how do you cope with that mother in-law of yours?" She asked.

It started mostly after i and my husband got married, it's a long story, i said to her.

She looked at me seriously, wanting to hear more.

My husband is from a muslim background, i am from a christian background, i said.

"Wow!" She said, surprised.

Yeah, i converted into a muslim before we got married because of my mother inlaw, and after we wedded i converted into being a christian. The whole issue started since then, she had been against my religion and she still against it till now. She disliked me ever since then till now.

"Why did you convert to a muslim at first?" She asked me.

I told her, how it started and how she had treated me many times.

She sighed.

"Now i understand. But that shouldn't mean you should allow her treat you that way and you keep shut. We are going to talk about what to do", she said.

I sighed.

"Hey! Come and clear this place!" She yelled.

Her maid walked to the living room immediately and packed the plates with the cups.

"That your mother in law loves trouble and you have to give her more than the trouble she wants. You don't just worry, trust me i will tell you want to do", she said. 

She took her purse on the center table and brought out a pack of cigarette.

"Wow, she smokes", i said in my mind.

She lit the cigarette with her lighter.

"You care for some?" She asked giving me a cigarette.

No.

"Okay."

Yeah.

"Hey! Get me my drink with two cups", she commanded.

Her maid came in with an alcoholic wine and two wine cups. 

"Turn into the two cups", she said.

The maid, turned the bottle of wine into the two cups.

"Have it to cool yourself", she said giving me.

No, don't worry.

"What's no? You don't take alcohol too?"

Yes, i don't, i said.

"Take jare, and stop acting like some kind of local woman out there."

I laughed, and took the cup from her. I sipped a bit.

"That's it baby", she said and laughed.

I smiled.

She was smoking and drinking at the same time.

"Now back to the main matter. You see that mother in-law of mine like i told you, she can't dare any trash with me, she knows me na, she said and laughed out loudly.

I looked at her, i believed her.

"The last time she came here confronting me about smoking and drinking, i didn't spare her, i slapped her."

I looked at her surprised.

You slapped your mother in-law? I asked in surprise.

"She wanted trouble na and i gave it to her. I don't spare her if she dares start, i dey show her say i get skon skon for head o", she said and hissed.

And what did your husband say? I asked, still surprised.

"What will the idiot say", she said, as she exhaled the smoke form her mouth.

"Wow, she called her husband an 'idiot' "i said in my mind.

"Why would she confront me in my house, didn't her son know i do drink and smoke before he married me. That was the last time she visited us. I don't tolerate a single thrash from any of my husband family, they know me well", she said.

I looked at her seriously, as she drank a bit of the alcoholic wine.

"Look, you have to wise up and push that woman out of your house, it's your house not hers."

And how do i go about that? I asked her.

She came closer to me.

"This what to do." She said.

She told me things i could do, i wondered if  i could actually do them. We kept on talking for over an hour, until my phone rang. It was Ibrahim. I felt high already, the toxicity was high and i don't take alcohol.

"Ibrahim, must be back. What will he say if he gets to know i am drunk", i thought to myself, before  i picked his call.


 PART 69
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

"Hello, am at the front of the gate, your car is parked here, where are you?" He asked.

I'm coming, i replied him.

"Where are you now?" He asked again, wanting to know where i am.

I said i am coming, i told him and hanged up.

"Who was that?" Stella asked.

My husband, he is back, i said.

"Ohhh."

He called back, but i didn't pick up.

"Is that why you are in a hurray to leave?"

Yes o, i want to see my son.

"Nawa o", she said laughing. "Can i have your number?"

We both exchanged contacts.

"Ok na, let me see you off", she said.

Alright.

"Good afternoon, sir" she greeted Ibrahim smiling, looking at him from up to down.

"Yeah", he replied her.

I looked at him, wondering why he replied to her greeting that way.

"I have to go now", she said to me smiling.

Thanks a lot for today.

" You don't need to thank me", she said smiling.

I have to. We will see later.

"Yeah, later", she said.

As she was going back, she turned and throw a glance at Ibrahim.

I looked at Ibrahim.

"Did you stay in her house?", Ibrahim asked me.

Yes.

"Since when have you been going there, that i didn't know."

Today is my first. She came and told me to go to her house with her, when she saw me sitting under the sun.

He looked at me.

"Is that where i asked you to go?"

 Please, don't question me ok.

He looked at me angrily. I did the same also.

"Let's go in", he said.

I never knew you are now a spirit. Did i not tell you she locked the gate, i said to him angrily, and hissed.

He looked at me angrily. He took his phone and dialed his mom's number.

She came to open the gate.

I drove my car, he did the same also.

He greeted his mom, she replied him well. She looked at me angrily, i turned my face away, not minding her.

" Mommy!" Johnson said running to me, i carried him up happily.
 
Have you eaten? 

"Yes."

What did you eat?

"Grandmother, prepared rice and stew for me."

Okay, let's go to the room, i said holding his hand.

Later, Ibrahim walked in.

"Why did you agree to go with her to her house? And since when have you been friends?" He asked seriously.

Wow, you still asking me. Have told you before, today is the first time i went to her house. You didn't expect me to sit under the not sun and moreover i wasn't ready to check in an hotel like you said.

"And why weren't you ready?" He asked.

So you expected me to just waste my money to check in into that hotel till you were back?

"Do not annoy me the more. You know well, if you did i would give you back the money."

Whatever!

"I know you are lying to me, i ask you again since when have you been friends with her?"

Have told you! Do not ask me again! I yelled at him angrily.

Johnson, go to your room, i said to him.

"No", he said.

Please do.

He reluctantly got up and left.

Ibrahim, still kept on looking at me angrily.

"So tell me what you both sat down discussing? Because, i wonder what you will be discussing with such a lady that people in this estate know her to be crazy and irresponsible." 

Your mom locked me outside, i thought you were going to face her for that when you come back, and here you are asking me what we discussed. Let me be ok! I said to him angrily, and hissed, walking away.

"I can see you want to be stubborn", he said.

He held my hand and pulled me  with anger to back to the bed.

"What has come over him?" I asked myself.

As he was coming closer, i was shifting back in fear.

"Don't dare move", he said. i still did.

He held my jaw, lifting up my face, in anger. 

"Answer my question now."

I looked at him, wondering what came over him.

"Answer me!"

Have told you, i said trying to remove his hand from my jaw, but his strength was more than mine.

"Wow, you even smell of alcohol." He said in surprise, his anger increased the more.

Fear gripped me.

"So you now even drink? I never knew the wife i have can easily be influenced."

I drank yours.

"Wow! So you know tell lies. Doesn't smell like the kind of brand i drink. Now i see", he said, and removed his hand from my jaw.

I sighed, in relief.

"I knew you are lying, you have been friends with her, no wonder you suddenly changed. Tell me when did you start drinking?" 

Anger was showing all over him, seriously.

"Answer me!" He yelled.

You drink also, ok! So don't question me! I yelled back at him angrily.

"Will you shut up!" He yelled angrily, and he raised up his hand to slap him.

I shifted back in fear.
Don't you dare, i said to him, in fear.


PART 70
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO  DUROJAIYE

He slapped his hand on the wall, in anger.

His mom knocked on the door, and came in.

"Kiloshele?" She asked looking at both of us.

Ibrahim, told her not to worry that it's not something serious,  it is between me and him.

She looked at me, you know that kind of hatred look. She left.

"Now, let me warn you for the last time", he said in a low tone, holding my face up with his hand.

"Let today be the last time, i must not see you with lady again, okay!"

I tried forcing his hand from my face.

"Listen before you prove stubborn", he said in anger, holding my face tighter with his hand.

I wondered why he was so against me being friends with her.

"Because, i wonder what you both sat down discussing. I wonder why on earth you will want to make friends with such woman that is known in this estate for sleeping around with other men. Only God knows since when you have been friends. How am i even sure you haven't been doing what she does, of course you drank today, you have been doing it since i just noticed. I won't allow her to make you destroy us. No wonder you suddenly changed, i know you to be cool, easy and patient, but this days you are the opposite. Let today be the last day on earth  you will ever go to her house, and if ever see you with any other man, i swear you will regret yourself", he said in anger, and removed his hand from my face.

I sighed in relief.

You can't tell me who to be friend to ok.
l wanted to show to him that i didn't fear him, like Stella had told me to always face him boldly.
Instead of you to settle the issues of your mom, you are here ranting rubbish, i said to him and hissed.
I will be friends with her and there is noting you can do about it.

"I can now see her behaviors in you, you now talk back at me, you now disrespect my orders." 

Yes, when you don't respect mine.

I breathed in and out heavily.

The next day.

I didn't prepare breakfast, because i was still upset about what happened yesterday.
Johnson, went to school, Ibrahim went to work. I stayed in the room to avoid his mom that wouldn't want to leave, all because of religion. Her husband kept on calling  her to come home, but she will always tell him she will soon be back. She wanted to make sure Johnson was fully interested in practicing her religion before she left, but Johnson only agreed to be going with her because, he didn't want her to slap me like she did twice. 

"Let her come dare slap me again, she will know who i am", i said in my mind.
But that didn't stop Johnson from still praying, i bought him Bible stories, i gave him another Bible secretly after she took his Bible from him and burnt it.
"By the time i start with her soon, she will leave my son alone and flew from my house. She never know anything. I'm have just been so stupid. I'm so happy to have met Stella as a friend, if not i would have still kept on acting like a big fool." I said in my mind.

I decided to go to my boutique. I changed my cloths and took my car key.

When i left my boutique, i drove back to the estate, to Stella's house. 
I told her more about what's happening, she told me things to do.

When i got home, i saw his mom seated on the chair in the living room.
I walked passed her because, no matter the times i still tried my best to greet her, she never replied to my greetings.

"So you can't greet?" I heard her say as i was walking up the stairs.

"This woman won see fire today o." I turned to look at her.

"So i am now too small to been seen."

I'm happy you know that, i said to her.

She was shocked.

"I can now see your wings are becoming stronger day by day", she said adjusting her hijab.

Yes! And you had better stay away from my family and i , otherwise...

"Otherwise, what!!" She shouted at the top of her voice, like she was ready to start a combat with me.

Otherwise, who will cause trouble between you and your husband is coming your way, if you don't go back to your husband's house, i said to her, not minding her reactions.

Ibrahim, walked in.
I acted like noting was happening.

He greeted his mom and me. 

"Can you just imagine, she was talking to me, insulting me before you came in", his mom said.

Ibrahim, turned to look at me, i turned my face away and hissed.

"What's happening?" He asked.

I don't know, i said, pressing my phone.

"Can you see yourself. See who calls herself a christian", she said and hissed.

Ibrahim sighed, like he didn't know where to start from.

"Can you see, she now walks out on me."

I stopped and turned back.

You can't control me in my house, be careful if you don't want to leave right now, i said and walked away.

Ibrahim and her were shock at my statement.

Ibrahim, stayed back to plead on her, to calm her down as usual.

Thirty minutes later.

 I was so hungry i had go to the kitchen to prepare something to eat. I opened a pot, i saw she had prepared her own food already. When i was done, i served the food in three different plate, i took the food to the room. I ate and rested on the bed.

An hour later, Ibrahim walked into the room.

He went to the bathroom to have his bath.

Johnson, came back. I took him to his bathroom to have his bath. When he was done i brought him to my room to eat, i fed him.

Won't you eat? I said to Ibrahim, pointing to his food i covered.

He didn't say a word, he sat on the chair in the room.

"Ahmed", he called Johnson.

He didn't answer at first am sure he heard, but he didn't want him to call him that name.

"Ahmed", he called Johson again.

" Yes daddy", he replied.

"Come."

Johnson, came to him, he carried him on his laps.

I didn't know what he whispered in his ear, they walked outside the room. 

I laid on the bed, listening to music.

He later came in.

"I'm very angry, i kept quite because Ahmed was in the room with us. 

I didn't say a word.

"Have been tolerating, now i want you to go and apologize to my mom", he said.

Apologize to her?

" Yes, on your kneels. "

Is this some kind of jokes or what, i said looking at him.

"You have been annoying me since. You spoke to her rudely so you must beg her. She's is my mom, remember!"

I did?

"Yes."

If i did, she started it first.

"So you want her to come beg you? I'm talking to you and you are still pressing your phone!

Yes, i want her to come beg me first.

"You must be joking", he said in anger.

I'm not.

" Don't let me do what you will regret", he said, as his anger increased the more. Go out now and beg her.

I'm not!

" You want it the hard way, right?"

He came and pulled me from the bed forcefully.

My anger increased, i raised my hand and slapped him.

"No man or mother in-law will control me. I must show to them as Stella had said", i said in my mind


MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

He was surprised. He stood panting heavily, looking at me in great anger, like as if to strangle me. Fear gripped me, my heart started beating fast.

I'm sorry, i didn't know when i did that, i said in fear.

He sighed heavily.

I still kept on pleading, i never meant to slap him.

"I can see she has changed you. You had better stay away from her, before she makes you ruin our family", he said angrily.

If there is anyone who wants to ruin our home, it's your mom and not her, i said, with my head bowed, i couldn't look up to his face.

"I wonder when you will become wise."

"So i am foolish? Wow, i never knew. Yes, of course i am for accepting him back", i said in my mind.

"And tell me, when did you start carrying heavy makeup on your face?" He asked in anger.

When Stella sent me a picture of her  makeup  when we were chatting, so i told one of my sales girl that is good at makeup to makeup up for me just like Stella's own. She brings her makeup kit with her everyday, she does makeup for people in my boutique.

And tell me, how does that have anything to do with you? I asked him.

"Wow, i never knew you could easily be influenced. Don't let  me know you have started going out with men", he said angrily, still panting.

"Jealous lover", i said in my mind.

Yes, i have. And what can you do about that.

He laughed hysterically, in anger.

"Look do not dare me!" He said in great anger.

I feared the way he said it.

"And where did you go today?"

None of your business. Just know if your mom dares me again i will beat the hell out of her, you will come back from where ever you are to rush her to the hospital. 

He looked at me, surprised at my statement, feeling like what i said was a just a joke or a threat.
 He moved closer to me, still panting, i shifted back a bit in fear.

"God!", he said surprised.

I rolled my eyes at him.

"It's obvious you drank again today", he said, looking at me in a greater anger.

Who cares? Don't you drink also? I asked him. 
I feared what he might do next, the anger in him was something else. As i was about to walk away he grabbed my hand in anger.

Haaa, i screamed, in pains. His hand was strong on mine.

"Now, listen to me! No movement out of this house, for now."

You can't restrict me, ok! Who do you feel or think you are!

"You will stay in this house, till i free you to move out."

You are joking right?

Yes, i was joking, he said, and freed my hand.

"Better, he was just joking", i said in my mind.

His mom knocked on the door, he walked to go open the door. I don't know what they discussed.

The next day.
Johson went to school, Ibrahim went to work.
I decided to go to my boutique, instead of getting into trouble with his mom, that was just ranting angrily about what i didn't know.

I took my bath and dressed up. I wore a pair of blue jean trouser, a black net top, i didn't use the inner wear so it was revealing. It was something like that Stella wore on the first day we talked. I applied some light makeup, and took my hand bag.
I searched for my car key, i couldn't find it. I searched for where the other car keys where kept, i couldn't find any. I couldn't find any of the car keys to my three cars, the one i bought when I was still single, the one Ibrahim bought for me and the one Bayo bought for me. I searched for Ibrahim's own also i couldn't find any, he had three cars, he drove one to work. Ibrahim, is a lover of cars.

"Who could have come into this house to take our car keys, harm robbers again?" I asked myself, as i still kept on searching.
"No, why would they steal the car keys and  leave the car, or could his mom have taken the key?"

I picked up my phone to call Ibrahim.


PART 72
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

"Hello", Ibrahim said.

"Hello."

"How are you?"

"I'm not fine."

"What's wrong?" He asked, seriously.

I kept mute.

"Talk to me na", he said, in a panicking voice.

"I can't find the car key to any of the cars", i said, angrily.

He sighed.

"Where are you going to?"

"To my boutique, of course."

"No problem. I will call my driver to come drive you there, just wait."

"I can't find the car key to any of the car, and you telling me you will call your driver, your driver will look for the key abi."

"I hid the keys, when you insisted you will still go out upon my order."

"So you the one who took the keys i have been searching for since! Where did you put the keys?"

"When you are ready to leave call me, my driver will be there to drive you to your boutique, madam."

"I don't want any driver! Tell me where you kept the keys now!" I yelled at him angrily on the phone.

He kept mute.

I kept on shouting at him angrily he  didn't say a word.

"What sort of rubbish is this! You not even saying anything!"

I knew if i still kept on shouting he won't say anything or change his mind and he won't hang up also, he doesn't hang up on me.

"Fine! Since you not saying anything, i will take the public transport!"

"Okay", he said.

I hissed, and hanged up angrily.

Nonsense! He will see who he is dealing with! What sort of rubbish is all this! Oh God! I walked out angrily from the room.
I searched Jonson's room and the other rooms but i couldn't find the key. Only the room is mom was in, i didn't search. I searched the kitchen, i couldn't find the keys. I sighed, and walked out.

The gateman was standing at the front of the gate.

"Won't you open the gate!" I yelled at him angrily, which i had never done.

He was surprised at my reaction.

"Madam, na you be this?" The gateman asked, looking at the way i dressed.

You must be stupid! Open the gate for me now or you get out!

"Madam, abeg abeg, oga talk say make i no open gate for you to go out." 

Ohhhh! Open this gate now!

He started pleading, saying that is the instruction Ibrahim, gave to him.

Look, if you don't open this gate right now, i will arrest you for denying me of freedom.

He went on his kneels.

"Madam, please abeg no arrest me. Na oga say may i no open gate. Madam, abeg oga go sack me if i open gate, i know oga."

Will you listen to him or me!

"Madam, abeg oga go sack me if i open gate."

And how would he know if i went out? I will be back before he comes.

He kept mute, before he spoke.

I looked at him hoping he would change his mind. The gate was locked with a padlock.

"Madam, big mummy fit tell oga say i open gate for you."

'Big mummy', he was referring to his mom.

Open this gate now! I commanded.

He stood still.

Get out of the gate and open it now.

I pushed him away angrily. He still kept on pleading.

I told Stella last night that Ibrahim restricted me from going out.

"He no dey go work?" Stella asked me.

I told her yes.

So how he go know if you go out? She asked me.

"Na, true sha", i replied her.

She told me how she threatened her gateman with a knife when her husband instructed him not to open the gate for her.

I went in and came out with a kitchen knife.

The gateman got shocked on seeing me.  He knelt down begging.

"Look! If you don't open this gate now i will stab you and stab myself, so there is no way you can defend yourself that i stabbed you because, you i will say you stabbed me also", i threatened him.
There is no way you would win the case, remember my husband is a lawyer, and my husband who told you to lock the gate will be on my side and not yours. So open this gate now!

He still kept on pleading, i brought the knife closer to him.

"Madam, i go open am", he said in fear.

I laughed, inside of me.

He went in to bring the keys, and he opened the gate.

Good, i said. 

I dropped the knife on a plastic chair he usually sits on.

I walked outside the gate. 

Remember, you mustn't tell my husband you opened the gate for me to go in, if not, you know! I threatened him the more.

I took my purse from my bag, counted out 5k and gave it to him.

At 10:05am, i was chatting with Stella.

"What's up na, na house you dey?" She asked.

"No o, my boutique."

"I thought you said your husband restricted you from going out? Buy my own cloth come o.

"Lol. I own the boutique. I import wears, foot wears, wristwatches, jewelries and so on to be sold."

"Wow! Are you for real."

"Lol, yeah."

"Wow, you are really a big madam o."

"Lol."

"See ehnn, don't worry i will start patronizing you, i never knew na."

"Lol, i trust you."

"Yes o."

"Let me call you sef and gist you."

"Oyaaa! I'm ready." 

I called her and narrated what i did to get out of the house.

"That's it baby! You are on point! I love that. You don't have to let any man control you, baby" she said happily, laughing.

"Yes o, you are right dear", i said, laughing.

"Don't worry when we see i will tell you more things."

"I trust you na. I will come to your house when i leave here soon."

"Alright, I'm expecting you o."

"Sure."

"Ok na."

"Yeah, bye", i said.

"Bye", she said, and i hanged up.

I did some few things before leaving.

I boarded a cab that will take me straight to my estate. The driver charged me 5k, i didn't mind. Although, if i was to go through public transportation the transport fare would only cost me N1000, just like in the morning, but i didn't want to go through the stress.

When we got to my estate, i directed him to Stella's house. I came down and paid.

I knocked the gate, the gateman came to open it.

Is Stella in? I asked.

"Yes, my madam dey house", he  said, and opened the gate.

As i walked in, the gateman shook his head. I wondered why he did.

As i was walking, her door opened, Stella and a man came out and stood in the veranda. The man placed is two hands on her, they were talking and laughing.
"That must be her husband", I thought. They didn't even notice me, till i got closer to them.

Good day, i greeted them, smiling.

The man removed his hand from her.

The man stared at me, i looked at myself.

"Oh! The net top i wore", i said in my mind. I felt a bit ashamed of myself.

"Fred, meet my friend. Dear, meet  Fred."

"Did she just introduce her husband by his name?" I said in my mind.

The man strechd  his hand for a hand shake. We both shook hands.

"Nice meeting a beautiful damsel", he said.

I smiled.

"C'mon Fred, I'm here", Stella said.

Fred and i laughed.

"Honey, i have to be going now", Fred said and kissed her.

" Awwwww", she said.

"I will miss you."

"Same here", Stella said.

They both hugged each other, and they both kissed again. He walked towards his car, he entered and started  the engine. They both waved at each other, smiling, before he drove out.

"Let's go in, by the way i love your top", Stella said, smiling.

Is that your husband? I asked her.

"Gosh! Does he look like a husband", she said, mocking Fred and she laughed.

Then who is he?

" You don't expect me to stick to only one man, do you?"

"Wow, so she cheats." I said in my mind, surprised.
To be continued.


PART 73
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

What if your husband gets to know? And  i haven't seen your husband since i have been coming here.

"Yeah, he leaves for work at 5am and returns late. Have complained severely, he says i give him headaches that's why he returns very late. I know he is with another woman out there", Stella said.

How do you know? What if he is not?

"Do you think men are loyal?"

Hmmm, sincerely not all but there are still loyal ones.

"Like who?"

Hmmm, my husband, i said, confidently.

"You think so?" She asked, staring and smiling at me.

Yes. 

"Why?"

I read his chats sometimes, not like i am suspecting him, sometimes when he is chatting he may leave his phone on our bed to go do something, and i may pick it up and read his chats. The password to his phone is my second name. Once he ends a call, he tells me who called him. He discusses a lot of things about himself to me also. I trust my husband.

"Hmmm, i see. Even with that do you know men still cheat."

Whatever, not mine.

"All the times you were away, i saw your husband with a lady. I later got to know the lady isn't his wife."

"So she knows." I never told her i left his house for more than a year. I didn't tell her that story.

I know, i was away with my son because we had misunderstanding.

"So you know? ", Stella said, looking at my eyes.

He isn't with her anymore.

"But he cheated, didn't he?"

When i was away, and not now anymore.

"What if he still sees her behind your back?"

He isn't.

"How sure are you?"

She is not even in Nigeria.

"Really! What if he still chats with her?"

 I told you i do read his chats.

"Wow, i can see you are so sure of your husband", she said.

Yes, mommy Ella. My husband is loyal.

She laughed out loudly.

"Stop it, don't call me mommy Ella it makes me feel old. I'm Stella."

Ok, Stella.

"Better. Let me get our drink", she said, smiling.

Your drink not ours. My husband is really against me drinking, i don't want to offend him the more.

"Gosh! Your husband, your husband all the time, na wa o. Aren't you tired?"

No, i love him.

She laughed.

"Love o, it's obvious. Free yourself from him and enjoy your life jare."

She brought the alcoholic wine. She persuaded me to drink and i did.
She took a cigarette and started smoking.

We started talking.
I told her about how i faced Ibrahim's mom. She told me to do more to get her frustrated so she would leave.

After talking for about an hour, we kept mute. She was focusing on her phone.

"Yeeeeh!" She exclaimed, happily.

What's it? I asked her.

"There is a night show this friday."

Ohh, i said. 

"Don't you go out for shows?"

Yeah, i do with my husband sometimes.

 'Husband', abeg the thing dey vex me.

Na you sabi, i said, sipping the alcoholic wine.

"We are both going together o."

Uhhh? Where do you want me to tell my husband i am going to?

"C'mon, be smart. You could just form a lie or something."

I told you he restricted me from going out, didn't i?

"Yes, you told me. Are you going or not?"

I can't! Don't you get me?

"Ok fine. You could just drug his drink so he could sleep till the next morning, and before then you would be back."

God forbid. What if he doesn't wake up?

"Why won't he wake up? Na poison you won give am?"

God forbid.

"C'mon, i do it for my husband when i want to leave the house on fridays sometimes if he is around, after all he no dey go work on saturday. By 4am or 5am i am back and the drugs makes him sleep and wake up  by  8 or 9 in the morning."

I looked at her surprised.

"Table for five is just 500k."

Wow, i said.

What's wow?

And you expect me to just waste a whole 500k, just like that.

"But you said you do go out for shows with your husband."

Yes of course. He pays, not me. And not table for five we do take.

"Don't worry i have three other friends that will go also. We used to be five going outing, but one just delivered a baby three months ago. So me, you and my three other friends will complete five, so that's just like a 100k for each person, for us to get the ticket", she said, smiling.

And you still expect me to just waste a 100k, just like that.

"C'mon na. Na small thing for you, i know na. You be big madam na", she winked at me.

I don't really like night shows, it's my husband that always persuades me to go with him. What if we get into trouble?

"Ha, your husband na lawyer na, e go bail you sharply."

Not that! What If we get attacked?

"All the one you they go since, them attack you?"

But we are  ladies.

"Don't worry, there will be maximum security."

Ok ooo.

"Are you going?"

Am not sure, even with this you gave me sef I am not sure i can use it o.

" We are going!You must pay o, and we are getting the ticket."

I'm not o.

We started auguring.

I have to start going before my husband comes home.

"Marriage bandage", she said, mockingly.

God forbid!, I rebuked it immediately.

She laughed out loudly.

" Wait", she said.

She left.  I saw her coming with something in a nylon.

"This the drug to use, so your husband can sleep", she said, giving it to me.

I can't use it o.

She persuaded me, and i took it from her.

"That's it. So your husband won't even know you went out. Keep it where he won't see it, otherwise you know."

Have heard you.

"Yes o."

I got up to leave.

"So don't forget friday show", she said, smiling.

I done hear, i said.

"Let me see you down the road", she said.

She saw me down the road and left.

I knocked on the gate and the gateman opened.

Is my husband back? I asked him, immediately.

"Madam, he never come back o."

I told you i will be back before him, i said, and walked in.

In the night i laid down on my bed. My mind flashed back to the show Stella told me about and what she said i should do to Ibrahim.



PART 74
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

"Stella, it's not my husband you will kill. What if he sleeps and doesn't wake up? I love him so much."

I got up from my bed in the middle of the night. I searched for where i hid the substance, i took it to the bathroom and flushed it in the toilet.
I sighed and came out.

"I can never do such to him."

I went back to bed to sleep.

The next day.

Ibrahim didn't go to work, we were  both at home.

"This house is kind of boring today," Ibrahim said.

I'm used to it, i said, without looking at him.

"See her mouth", he said, trying to make me laugh.

"What's it na? Let's go out and have fun, baby."

It's now you know we will go out, ever since.

"I'm sorry. The issue, my mom you know and have been so busy."

When is she going to leave? I'm so tired of her.

He sighed. 

"All will be well."

I sighed.

"Let's go now."

I'm not going anywhere.

He came closer to, he held me closer to himself and kissed me.

Leave me, ha, i said, angrily.

"She's is upset because i restricted her from going out."

No, because you kidnapped her, i said, angrily.

He laughed out.

"I'm sorry. I don't just want my wife with that Stella."

I looked at him.

He started pleading.

It's okay, have heard you. 

"Promise me you won't be friends with her anymore?"

I promise.

"You sure."

Yes.

"That's my baby", he said and kissed me happily.

Why did you change your haircut?

"I thought you didn't notice it."

I did. I didn't just want to talk yesterday. It fit you, it makes you look more handsome, I said, smiling.

"Thanks baby."

So those female lawyers will start tripping for you.

He laughed.

"But i won't trip for any of them. It's you i love baby", he said, looking at my eyes.

I love you too, i said, smiling.

We both hugged each other.

We went out to have fun.

At night.

We were both on the bed, discussing.

Dear, i said, to change the topic of what were discussing about.

"What's it? What are you thinking about?" Ibrahim asked.

I'm tired of your mom taking Johnson to mosque all the time.

"You just want to spoil this good mood we are having. She will soon leave."

As if when she leaves, you don't want Johnson to still practice your religion.

He kept mute. 

That's Ibrahim, he keeps mute anytime he doesn't want to my question that he knows will annoy me.

Are you not the one i am talking to?

"What did you say?"

I know you heard stop pretending.

He laughed out loudly.

I hissed at him.

"Come closer to me jhor", he said.

I removed his hand from me.

" What's it again?"

When will you free me to go out?

"Since you promised me you won't be friends with that Stella, you are free."

He got up.

Where you going?

"I'm coming."

Like 5mintues later he came in.

"Here are the car keys. I am sorry."

I'm sorry too, i said with teary eye, as i flashed back to when i slapped him angrily.

He sighed.

Forgive me for my actions. I didn't know what came over me, i said, as tears rolled down my eyes.

"I'm sorry for reacting to you that way also."

No, it was all my fault.

He whipped my tears with his hand.

"No, it was Stella. I knew she is the one who talked you into reacting to me that way."

I nodded my head.
I will stay away from her, i promise.

"Thanks baby. I love you so much."

I love you more too.

The next day.

We were both in the kitchen cooking together and talking also, when is mom walked in.
She started yelling at me angrily saying i have turned her son to my cook. Ibrahim, defended me, she said he is lying.
I knew her anger wasn't that, she was just against me being a christian.  I left to my room crying, what she said hurt me so deeply. I love Ibrahim, but all she said made me wish i didn't marry her son. I cried out my eyes. Ibrahim came petting me.

PART 75
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

Stella, kept on reminding me of the show, i didn't want to go but she kept on persuading me, calling and messaging me. I transfered 100k to her account, to get the ticket.

On that friday night, at 7:450pm.

Dear, i called Ibrahim.

"Baby", he replied, as usual.

I want go for vigil it will start by 10pm, but i want to leave now i don't want to leave when it's late.

" You have started again, i thought you have stopped all that. Vigil at where sef?"

What did i start again? Vigil in my church na. I stopped going to church because of your mom, i don't want more of her trouble.

"You are not going anywhere."

Why? I have not been going to church for a while.

"So you want to leave me this night?"

No, i will be back in the morning.

"You are not going."

But.....

"But what?" Ibrahim asked.

But we both agreed religion won't be a barrier between both of us.

I looked at him sadly.

"So you want to use my word against me now?"

No, please......

"Ok fine! I will let you go because of the promise i made then. You can go", he said, quite angry.

Thanks dear, i said.
I kissed him but he didn't react, i knew he was angry.

"What time will you be back?"

The vigil will end by 3am, i won't leave at that time i will be back home by 5am.

"Better", he said, focusing on his laptop.

He was angry at that time, but he didn't want to show it.

I wanted to change into a trouser, then i remembered i lied to him that i am going for a vigil. I changed into a skirt and a top and i covered my hair. I hid a trouser and a top in my bag.

Dear, I'm going now.

"Okay", he said.

I didn't mind that he was angry, i opened the door and left.

I went to Johnson room, i told him i was going for a vigil, he wanted to follow me but i told him no.
As i was about leaving the house i received a call from Stella, telling me to be fast.
When i got to Stella's house, i saw three ladies seated they looked hot with their heavy makeups. They gave me a strange look, am sure it because of the way  i  dressed.

"Meet our new friend i told you about", Stella said, to the three ladies.

They gave Stella that kind of look like " is she the one? "

"Hello", they said, smiling.

Hi, i replied, smiling.

Stella smiled also.

"Yeah, she is an importer", Stella said, introducing me to them more.

"Wow! For real!" Two of the ladies exclaimed surprisingly.

"That's really nice", the other lady said.

"Nice to meet you", they said.

Nice to meet you all also, i said, smiling the more.

"Why you dress like say you dey go church, na wa for you o", Stella said, looking at me.

One of the lady nodded her head, like Stella was right.

You kept on disturbing me. You know my husband, i had to lie to him that i am going for a vigil before he reluctantly agreed for me go. He is very angry sef, I know he just allowed me go.

"Prison marriage o!"

God forbid o.

"Na u sabi, so you didn't use the drug on him?" She asked, seriously.

No.

"Why?"

Noting.

"Whatever!", she said, and rolled her eyes. The main thing is that you are here.
Let's go to my room so you can change."

What about your husband?

"He traveled three days ago and more over we don't share the same bedroom, he says i trouble him."

Take it easy with him o.

"You say what? Come here jare."

We went to her room, she searched  her wardrobe and brought out a gown.

"This will fit you", Stella said, holding the gown for me to see.

It was a wine colour gown, that was short and could reveal the body.

I forget to tell you, i brought a pair of jean and a top in my bag.

"Let me see it."

I brought it out and showed her.

"Wow, this is really nice i love it, but wear this gown today it will make you look sexy you know", she said, smiling.

Kilode,  it's short and am sure it will reveal my body.

"Yeah, short that's the main reason it will make you look sexy. It won't reveal o."

I agreed to put it on. When i looked at myself in her mirror i really looked sexy like she said, i admired myself.

"Wow, wow! It fits you so much, i told you."

Yeah it does, i said, admiring the gown on me.

Stella, applied makeup on my face before we left her room.

When i walked to the living room the three ladies exclaimed.

"Wow!"

 "Are you the one!"

"Na you be this!"

Stella laughed out.
I kept on smiling.

"Yes o, she's the one", Stella replied them.

"Stella, see as you change her sharply sharply", one of the ladies said.

I laughed out.

We left at 9pm, as Stella suggested.

As the show was on i started regretting why i came, why i listened to Stella, why i wasted a 100k.  My consciousness was judging me also for lying to Ibrahim.

"I don't know what came over me", i cried in my mind.

Stella and her friends didn't even notice my mood they were busy watching what was going on, chatting and laughing.

At 3am the show was over.
The three ladies followed three different men.

"It's because of you i didn't follow any o, i for dey enjoy myself more o, but i know you want to go now."

I nodded my head immediately.

Stella smiled.

Even though it was late, all i wanted was to get home.

There is only one entrance to our Estate, and when we got there the gate was locked. Security guards were at the gate, they stopped Stella's car. I knew the security guards well, so i bowed my face in Stella's car so they won't recognize me. They knew Stella as a late driver that drives into the estate late sometimes. The security guard asked her who i am.

"She's my friend", Stella replied.

They asked me to come down.

"They will see me at last", i said in my mind as i came out from the car.

"Are you not Mrs Ibrahim?" The guard asked, surprisingly.

I nodded my head.

"No, she's Mrs Abraham. Please, don't waste our time", Stella said, angrily.

They allowed us to go in immediately. It was still like 10mintues drive from the gate. Stella, drove to my gate to drop me, before driving  to her house. My plan was to get in change to the cloth i wore from house and lie to Ibrahim that i decided to leave immediately the vigil ended. I didn't want to knock on the gate, so i called the gateman, i was surprised he picked up immediately. "He isn't  even sleeping", i said in my mind.

"Come and open the gate for me", i said to the gateman on the phone, quietly.

"Ok Madam", he replied, and i hanged up.

He opened the gate and i came in. I was shocked to see Ibrahim.

"Where are you coming from?" He asked me.

I stood still.

"God, how did he know."

My heart was beating fast.


PART 76 TO 80

[1/13, 2:17 PM] Life Novels: *PART 76*
*MY PAINS*
© *PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE*

Stella, right! He said.

I looked at him in fear, i didn't know what to say.

"I wonder when you will be wise! That bitch is up to something against us and you are playing along with her!", he said angrily.

I started pleading.

"I believed you when you promised me you will stay away from her, i believed you when you said you were going for a vigil, but  you are noting but a liar now!", he said angrily, but calmly as it was late.

" The security men at the gate called my number like 15minutes ago that they saw you with Stella at this late hour, i couldn't believe it i was auguring with them that it couldn't be my wife, but it's true. "

"O my God, the security man called him", I said in my mind.

I still kept on pleading, tears were rolling down my eyes. I regretted why i followed Stella.

Three days later, Stella called me  that she is going somewhere and she wants me to go with her.

"My husband doesn't want me to go out", i said to her on the phone.

"Hanhan again! What sef! What's wrong with that your husband again?"

"He got to know i went out with you on friday."

"Really.... How? Who told him?"

"That security man called him and told him."

"Wow! For real?"

"Yes."

"What kind of a security his he? Is that is job! Is that what is there for!", She shouted on the phone angrily.

"My husband doesn't want to see me with you at all. That friday night was something else, i just thank God he didn't tell his mom and she didn't get to know, if not it would have been worst."

"What did i do to your husband that he doesn't want to see you with me? Na wa o ."

"You did noting, i don't just know why."

"He controls you too much, his family doesn't love you, you are going through a lot. Why not just divorce him!"

"I love my husband and i can't divorce him", I told her the truth.

"See you o! You are suffering and you are still saying you can't! Do you want to keep on suffering? Are you enjoying it? Be wise! you are a lady! Ladies shouldn't be dumb."

I sighed.

She still kept on talking to me to divorce him. I told her i have heard her.

"Anyway, is your husband at home?"

"No, he is at work."

"Alright, i will be coming now."

"Okay."

"Okay, bye."

"Bye", i said and she hanged up.

In less than 10 minutes, Stella was in my house. When she walked in she didn't greet his mom who was seated in the living room.

"Who are you?", She asked Stella, looking at way she was dressed.

"What sort of question is that?" Stella asked her, looking at her.

I was  surprised at the way Stella replied her. She was also surprised at Stella's reply to her.

"What kind of a girl are you?"

Stella hissed.

"You must be very stupid."

"You are the one who must be stupid for living in my friend's house when you have your own husband's house."

I was shocked at what Stella said for calling her 'stupid.' I started begging Stella to calm down. I was begging his mom to calm down also, i was so confused. The more i was pleading, the more they were throwing insults at each other, it was becoming more serious. The gateman came in and started pleading also. From all the things Stella was telling her, she really wanted her to leave  to her husband house.

"You are a spoilt child! Useless child! Oloroburuku!"

"Fuck you! You are the one who is useless and spoilt, not me! Go back to your husband house.!"

I kept on pleading but they  still continued.

"Alhaja, or whatever you are, you are so lucky i didn't meet you out there  i would have beaten the hell out of you to show you who i am, i won't do that here because i respect my friend, but you will see!" She shouted at her angrily.

Stella hissed and walked out angrily.

I sighed.

She faced me angrily, i knew she was going to do that.

"So you brought your friend to come and insult me!", she said with so much anger.

No, i did not, i said fearfully.

"Will you shut up!"

She raised her hand and slapped me hard. I placed my hand on my face, she slapped me.

"Why was she not able to slap Stella that insulted her", i asked myself.

 My eyes were filled with tears, but i didn't let the tears roll down my face.

"I won't say a word till my son is back! Enough! You are leaving this house today once my son is back." She said angrily.

I walked to my room, crying silently.

Thirty minutes later, my phone rang. I whipped my tears and picked up.

"Hello."

"Hello, hafa", Stella said.

I sighed.

"Is everything alright?."

"Yeah", i said, faintly.

"Alright, I'm sure with the way i talked to her she will leave by tomorrow if not today sef."

"I hope so too."

Stella, talked to me for like five minutes before she hanged up.

Two hours later.

"Haaaaaa, Omo mi! Omo mi! Omo mi! Haaa,." I heard her his mom say.

I knew something must have happened.

I rushed down to the living room.

"Mo ti gbo o", she said and the call ended.

She was  panicking, seriously. I looked at her wondering what happened. She rushed to her room took only her handbag and left.

"Haaa, omo mi!" I recalled her statement.

"God, i hope something has not happened to Ibrahim."
I became scared.

I rushed to my room. I took my phone and called Ibrahim twice he didn't pick up. I became scared the more, my heart started beating fast.

"Lord, please save Ibrahim. I don't know what has happened."  
I cried out, in fear.



PART 77
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

I called his number again he didn't pick up. I was so scared. 

Five minutes later he called me and said, 'Baby, i am busy i will call you later ok.'
I felt so much relieved,  i was so happy noting happened.

"But what could have happened that is mom left, panicking", I thought to myself.

When Ibrahim was back i welcomed him, he didn't reply me well.

"Could his mom have told him what happened?", I thought to myself.

"Where is my mom?" Ibrahim asked.

Hmmm, she left today. I didn't know what happened, she received a call, she shouted 'omo mi, omo mi'. She went to the room to the room, she took her bag and left. She was panicking. I thought something happened to you. I was scared that's why i kept on calling you.

He sighed.

What's wrong? I asked him.

"I received a call from my sister's husband in abroad, he said my sister is seriously sick almost to the point of death."

Jesus Christ! I exclaimed. Since when? 

"A month now."

Haaaa, and he just said it today.

"He said my sister kept on telling him not to tell anyone, so we won't be in tension. He said it's got so serious today that's why he had to call."

He sat and bowed his head, he placed his two hands on his face.

I came closer to him.

Don't worry dear, she will be fine. It's written she shall not die but live to declare the word of the Lord.

He lifted up his head, he looked at me and sighed.

He took his phone, he called his mom. Later he called his sister's husband.

I kept on encouraging him, but his mood didn't change.

The next day in the afternoon.

I was preparing lunch in the kitchen, when he walked to the kitchen angrily.

"My mom just called me now and i am sure it's Stella. So even upon how you promised me you will stay away from her, you still brought her in into our house to come and insult my own mother", he said with so much anger in him.

I feared him.

I...I....I didn't bring her to insult your mom, she...

"Will you shut up there!" He shouted at me in great anger. Why would i believe you this time that you didn't bring her to come insult my mom!"

I...I... swear...i did..not.

"Just shut that mouth of yours, before i shut it up for you now.  I have been patient enough with you, but not this time around again. You brought in that Stella to come insult my own mother who gave birth to me, ha!"

I kept on pleading, coming closer to him.

"If you dare come closer to me you will regret it", he said in great anger. He was panting heavily.

I stood still in fear.

"I won't say much, but you will regret it! If you know what's good for yourself it's better you don't stay in my house till i return." He said in greater anger than before.

I was shocked at his statement.

He walked out of the kitchen. He went to the room and came down with his car key.

"Ahmed, lets go", he said to Johnson.

Johnson, got up immediately.
 
I couldn't ask him where he was going with Johnson. Both of them left.
I went to the kitchen and turned off the cooking gas.

" Lord, i hope he isn't going to keep Johnson with his mom? What is he going to do to me when he is back? Even though he is to send me away i don't have anywhere to go, my house is on rent and i can't go back to my parent house." I thought to myself, as tears rolled down my house.

"Why did i even meet this Stella." 

I sat down crying and thinking about all i had been through.
I felt the pains again. I wished i had listened to my mom. I kept on crying.



PART 78
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

Five hours later, he returned with Johnson.
Ibrahim, sat down on the dinning chair, he placed his head on the table, he kept on sighing.

"I hope he is ok?" I asked myself.

I asked Johson where they went, he said they didn't go anywhere.

Ibrahim, kept on acting weird.

"I hope he didn't lose his sister", i thought to myself.

I had to ask Johnson if anything happened to him, Johnson said no.

After a while he raised his head, he kept on looking at me, quietly. I kept on looking at him and turning my face away. I couldn't understand why he was looking at me like that, and i couldn't ask me.

Three hours later, he walked up to him, i bowed my face, looking down.

"Who is Jesus?" Ibrahim asked me.

I lifted up my face. His question shocked me. I kept mute.

He sat down looking at me quietly, waiting for a reply.

"I asked a question", Ibrahim said.

"I hope this won't cause any trouble, because  i don't understand him since he came back", i thought to myself.

Jesus is the son of God, i said.

"Is that all?" He asked, calmly.

I nodded my head.

"I want to know more about this Jesus", he said, calmly.

I was shocked at his statement, i looked at him in surprise.

"I know Ibrahim must be joking.  Is he not the one i know, or he is not okay." I looked at him well to be sure he was the one.

Are the one? I asked in surprise, wondering what happened.

"Yes", he said, and sighed.

I still kept on looking at him surprisingly.

He came closer to me.

"If not of Ahmed i would have been dead today", he said calmly with his head bowed.

I was  shocked at his statement.

God forbid! I exclaimed.

"When i left i was going to my parents house. I was driving angrily, when my  brake just suddenly failed."

Jesus! I exclaimed.

"A bus was coming in front. When i noticed my brake failed i screamed, i was so scared. I thought that was going to be the end of my life. Johnson, started shouting Jesus. I can't explain how it happened, my car just stopped suddenly. The bus passed freely and didn't even hit my car."

O my God, i said, wondering how it would have happened.
I started thanking God.

"I started the engine it didn't work, so i had to call my mechanic. We boarded a cab to come back."

I went on my kneels, thanking God for saving my husband's life and my son life.

That's how Ibrahim gave his life to Christ on that day.

 On sunday we all went to church together, he came out for the alter call and surrender his life to Christ in the church. 
Johnson and i were so happy. Ibrahim, joined the training work force.

"What a miracle!"

"Who says God didn't hear my prayers two years ago."

 It was miraculous. So much joy filled my heart.


PART 79
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

"Baby, i am so happy to know Jesus. I just feel so different."

That's how it is, i said and smiled.

 "I'm happy we are into one religion now", Ibrahim said.

Thank God, i am happy too.

"It's been some years now we have been married, why didn't you tell me since?" He asked, seriously.

"But i always did right from the time we were in the university but he always told me he can never change, so at a time i had to stop when i noticed he really meant it."

I'm sorry, i thought you were never going to change.

He sighed, and held my hands.

"Yes, you were right. But with all that happened that day, i really wish you were there to witness how it happened, it was just God who saved me through our son if not i won't be alive right now", he said, calmly.

God loves you dear, i said, and smiled at him.
He smiled back at me.

"Baby", he called me, looking into my eyes.

Dear, i replied, looking at him also.

"I'm very happy to have to you in my life, i am happy it's not someone else."

I love you too, and i am happy it's you and not someone else. God has really good been good to us.

He nodded his head.

"Can you teach me the Bible now."

I laughed. He was still learning how to open chapters and verses in the Bible.

Yes, i replied.

"Good", he said.

I laughed again.

I got up to go take my Bible. I was really happy. 

"God works at the best time", i said in my mind.

As we were studying the Bible together, his phone rang.

Will you just get up like that, you have to take permission, i said, jokingly.

"Sorry ma", he replied jokingly.

He sighed when the call ended.

What's it dear? I asked him.

"My mom is the one that just called me now."

Yes, i know.

"You know she said my sister was getting better two days ago?"

Yes, i nodded my head.

"Now she just said it has become serious."

O my God, i said.

 "She said i should keep on praying for her."

I think we should go on a seven days fasting and praying for her.

He turned to look at me.

Yes, are you ready?

"If you say so, i am ready as far my sister will get well. She's the only sibling i have."

I understand, i believe God will heal her in Jesus name.

"Amen", he responded.

God answers prayer your sister will be healed i know. When you have Jesus, dear you don't need to be scared.

He walked up to me and hugged me.

On the seventh day we ended our fasting and praying, i told him to call his sister's husband. 
  
His mood changed as he ended the call.

"He said, she is still the same", Ibrahim said.

I sighed.

Calm down dear it's not over God is in control.

"Jesus saved my life, why doesn't he want to save my only sister's life", he said, painfully.

God will, in fact God has healed her it's just for you and i to believe.

He kept mute, looking sad.

Do you believe? I asked him.

"I do", he replied calmly.

That night before we slept, i went on my kneels to pray for his sister.

The next day.

He called his sister's husband, he said she's still in the same condition. Ibrahim became depressed the more.

Dear, don't give up i think we should thank God, let's give him Glory, let's praise his name. 

He raised his face, looking at me.

"But our prayers are not yet answered", he said, with a depressed voice.

It is, you just have to believe it. When we praise God in advance it shows we have faith and it makes God to act fast, i explained to him.

He didn't say a word.

Dear, let's do it now, i said to him.

Ibrahim, reluctantly agreed.

We praised God for almost two hours. Although he didn't know most of the songs, but i kept on singing. 

The next day.

He called his sister's husband, he told him her condition has gotten worse and the doctor said her chances of surviving is 50/50.
He took his phone and called his mom. Ibrahim, wasn't himself anymore.

Calm down please, all is well dear.

"I should calm down when my only sister is almost at the point of death."

  His eyes were filled his tears.

Please, God is in control no time is too late for God to work, i said to him.

"Her condition is worst now and you are still saying God is in control", he said.

Dear, don't say such please, God is in control. Please, don't give up right now this is the time for our faith to be stronger because God is working things out.

"Does this Jesus even exist?"

I wasn't surprised at his statement, i had been expecting that from him.

Yes, Jesus is real.

"No", he said, trying to hold back his tears.

Yes, he saved you and  Johnson, Jesus is real.

He sighed.

I came closer to him and placed my two hands on his shoulder.

Don't give up. God works even at the last minute. Your sister won't die but she will leave to declare the word of the Lord, keep on saying that, that's what the Lord said and His words do not return back to him void.

He kept silent, he was so depressed.

Now, repeat what i just told you to be saying.

"My sister will not die but live to declare the word of the Lord", he said calmly.

I sighed.

That's it, i said.

"And if my sister dies i will back out of this Jesus", he said.

She won't die, stop it ok.

I kept on encouraging him, but he wasn't listening to me. It was like he had made up his mind that if he sister doesn't  get healed he is dropping christianity.

That night i went on my kneels praying to God.

"Lord, please heal my husband sister in the state, Lord. Lord, you are never too late, heal her completely at this moment, Lord. Lord, please don't let Ibrahim give up on you. Lord you brought him to your ways, heal his sister so he will know you truly exist, Jesus. 
Lord hear my prayers this night......



PART 80
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

Three days later.

His sister was healed. He talked to his sister on the phone, they were both talking and laughing, the phone was on speaker.

Thank you Jesus, i said.

"Yes baby, Jesus is real", he said, excitedly.

Ibrahim, was so happy.

I told you God will heal her, didn't i?

"Yes you did baby", he said, and kissed me happily.

Leave me jare, you that didn't believe, see the way you were behaving, i said, jokingly.

He laughed.

"I believed, baby. Just that you didn't understand how i was feeling."

I smiled at him.

"Thanks for all the prayers. I am going to get something wonderful for you."

Wow, don't thank me we both prayed.

"Yes, but you did the more. You do wake up at the middle at the night to pray."

I love you and i always want to see you happy, that's why i did that. I didn't like the way you were feeling depressed at all.

"Thank you so much."

I smiled at him.

"I love you."

I love you too.

It's time to give God all the Glory now.

"Sure."

We both thanked God.

Three days later.

I was in the room with Ibrahim. My phone rang, a number i didn't save was calling me.

"Why don't you want to pick your call?" Ibrahim asked me.

I don't know who it is, and  that's not my business number.

"Hmmm, just pick it to know who is calling."

As i was about to pick the call, the call ended.

Five minutes later, the person called.
I looked at Ibrahim.

"Pick it up", he said.

I did, i kept mute for a while waiting for the caller to speak first. I put the phone on speaker.

"Hello. So you have been avoiding me?" 

"Sorry who is this?"

"This is Stella."

Me and Ibrahim both looked at each other.

I had been avoiding her since. I didn't pick her calls and i hardly replied her messages on WhatsApp.

I sighed.

"Stella, it's not like that na. I am not avoiding you na."

"You haven't been replying my messages and i am sure if i didn't use another number to call you, you won't have picked up." 

"No, not that na."

"Then what?" She asked.

"See ehnn i am frustrated. I have been having issues with my husband since. It's really serious, i don't even have rest of mind. I'm going through a lot", i lied to Stella.

"Your mother in-law is still with you till now?"

"No, she left."

"Just you and your husband."

"Yes, with my son."

"In fact am not just happy, he restricted me from going to seeing you also."

"This is serious o!  Can i come to see you now?"

"My husband is at home o."

"Ha! Na wa o.

We kept on talking on the phone when she said....

"You know what? I think you should leave the house for sometime, when he didn't see you for a while he will start looking for you, calling and begging. That's how men are. And by then he will cherish you more, trust me."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, i know what i am saying. I did it for my husband one time like that when he started treating me anyhow and it worked. When he didn't see me for a while he  kept on calling me, begging me to come back."
 
"I think what you said makes sense, i will do that."

"That's it o, you had better do."

We kept on talking for like ten minutes before she hanged up.

Ibrahim sighed.

I just want to stay away from her. I didn't like the way she talked to your mom the other time and she persuades me to do things i don't want to. I'm sorry for not listening to you then.

"It's okay." He said.

Ibrahim, kept on looking at me without saying a word.

What's wrong? I asked him.

He kept mute, before he spoke.

"I'm sorry."

Sorry for what?

"I have a confession to make to you", he said.

Hmmmm, what confession? I looked at him seriously.

"Please, promise me you will forgive me."

Hmmmm....... 

"Please", he pleaded.

What confession? I asked him.

"Please, tell me you will forgive me", he kept on pleading.

I will, i said.

"Are you sure?"

Yes, i am very sure.

"Are you serious?"

Yes, i am. Don't you trust me?

"I do. It's about Stella and i", Ibrahim said.

I was surprised.

" Please, i am sorry", he pleaded.

Which Stella? I asked to be sure.

"The same Stella", he said.

You have a confession to make about you and Stella?

" Yes please, forgive me for not telling you since."

I kept on looking at him.

"It happened on a night."

A night?

He nodded his head.


PART 81
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

"I was in a club that night."

A club?

He sighed.

"After a month of searching for you then and i couldn't find you then, i went to a club just to get over depression. My car had fault so i boarded a cab that day. Please, forgive me."

I looked at him seriously, waiting to hear more from him.

"I kept on drinking and drinking, when a lady approached me which is Stella. She said she had been watching me drinking, she forced me to  stopdrinking. I can't really remember much but i know we exchanged contacts. All i can remember is that she started touching me, we started kissing."

I looked at him surprised.

"She told me we both live in the same estate, that she hoped  i won't mind she driving me home since i was drunk. She asked me if i brought my car i told her no. Instead, she drove to a hotel that night. I really can't remember all. Please forgive me for what i am about to say."

I looked at him with all more seriously.

"That night in the hotel, we both had sex."

I opened my mouth in surprise. Tears filled my eyes.

"Stella!", i yelled her name in my mind. 

"In the morning when i woke up around 4am, was when i realized myself. I was so surprised. I shouted at Stella angrily. She started saying why am i shouting at her, that didn't i say i love her last night. I told if i said so it is because i was drunk. I poured my anger so much on her that morning. When i was about to leave she started begging me not to. Please forgive me, i am so sorry", Ibrahim, kept on pleading.

I didn't say a word, i was so surprised. Tears just kept rolling down my face.

"The next morning i was driving out, when i saw she and her husband at the front of her gate, she pretended not to know me. 
After that day she started messaging me telling me she has feelings for me, i blocked her. She started calling me disturbing me that she loves me, she's missing me, i blocked her from calling me. She started sending sms to me. I warned her seriously to stay away from me that i wasn't interested in her. She still kept on texting me. I told her if she doesn't stop i will show all her texts to her husband, that's when she stopped. I thought i was free from her until one evening when the former gateman came to tell me that a lady  was looking for me. My mind never went there that it could be Stella. When she came in i was very surprised, i became so angry but i didn't show it to her. I served her a drink, and told her i will be back. I came to the room and locked the door. After a while she started calling my number with her second line i guess, but i didn't answer, she kept on calling my name i didn't answer her. I think when she got tired she left. I warned the gateman  never to let her in again. Another day again Stella came. I warned her to stay away from me. I walked  to the room she followed me also. She was dressed in a seductive way. She came closer to me, before i knew it both of us were on the bed. When i realized my self, i pushed her, she fell on the floor. She got injured  on her forehead, her forehead was bleeding seriously that day, i can't remember what was on the floor that cut her deeply that day. She left crying, i was happy. I called the gateman to come clean her blood stain that was on the floor, and that same day i sacked him angrily for letting Stella in after i warned him. He said Stella forced her way in. Two weeks later she messaged me saying i had made her to have a permanent scare on her face, i was happy for that. You should have noticed a mark on her forehead, it was as a result of the injury she sustained that night."

"O my God! One day i asked Stella she told me she fell when she was still a child." 

"Since then she didn't come, but she still kept on calling me with different numbers and messaging me. When you were back, i seriously warned her to stop calling and messaging that my wife was back. She told me if I didn't pick her calls or reply her text she will reveal the truth to you. At a time she told me she wanted to see me if not she will expose the truth to you, and then i was still pleading on you to forgive me, i didn't want anything that will make you leave at that moment, so i had to keep on bribing Stella. I knew about how you threatened the gateman to leave the house and that day you went to her house, the gateman told me, i didn't just want to say a word. Later Stella  told me if i stopped you from seeing her she will reveal the truth to you. I was just waiting for the best time to open up to you."

I kept mute, i couldn't believe all. Ibrahim, kept on pleading for me to forgive him.

Why didn't you tell me since? I asked him, as tears were still rolling down my face.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know how to tell you. I didn't know how you might have taken it to be, that's why i didn't. Please, forgive me, please."

"So Stella loves my husband, no wonder she had been giving me stupid advices. Who knows if that substance she gave me then was poison, Thank you Lord, i didn't use it. So she came that day to insult his mom so she could leave, and then make the two of us to separate so which can have her full way to Ibrahim. Thank you Lord, she didn't have her way to separate both of us. I never knew i was a friend to my enemy." I said in my mind.

I felt betrayed. My tears increased the more.

I forgave Ibrahim, out of the love i have for him.

Three days later.

Stella called me.

"Hello", I said.

"Hello, how are you?"

"I'm just here o."

"Are you home?"

"No, i moved out as you said o."

"Wow! That's it. Since when?"

"That same day you told me to, three days ago."

"Wow! Has he called you begging?"

"No o."

"Just relax he is going to. That's how my husband did he didn't call till two weeks later, and when i was back he started treating me like a queen o. So just be patient, ok."

"Sure, i will be."

"Good. Hope where you are is ok."

"Yes."

"That's good. I have something important to do now, i will call you later." Stella said.

"Alright, thanks."

"You don't need to thank me. Bye now. Take care."

"Alright bye", i said, and she hanged up.

Thirty minutes later.

The gateman came to my husband that a lady named Stella  was at the gate to see him.
Me and Ibrahim looked at each other surprisingly.
Ibrahim, told the gateman to let her in.

"I told you she will come."

Wow, am so surprised. 

"No time to talk much now. Go to the room, i will call your number so just keep quite listening to our conversation ok! Don't say a word on the phone."

I nodded my head. He wanted to kiss me but i pushed him away playfully, and walked up to the room.

"Wow, so Stella is really up to something."

He called my number, i answered and kept mute. I set the call on a call record.  I put the phone close to my ear.

"Awwww, it's been a long time. I miss you so much.  Won't you say anything? You are just looking at me."

"How many times will i warn you to stay away from me", Ibrahim said to her, angrily.

" C'mon, are you not happy seeing me? I'm tired of you bribing me not to let your wife know that secret between you and i. I love you and I want you now."

"Wow, i see! You didn't even care if my wife is around or not?"

"What wife? I know your wife hasn't been around with you, i saw her two days ago with another man. She told me she will be with him for a while because of the way you had been treating her."

"Wow really?"

"Yes. You have been treating her badly, right? She told me, that's to tell you i am not lying, i saw her with another man, she is with a man now."

"Wow, Stella! I can't believe all this! So that's the reason you advised me to leave my husband's house. Thank God we are no longer friends, if not i would have listened to that advise of yours of me leaving if he was actually treating me badly", i said in my mind.

"My wife with another man?"

"Yes. Let's stop talking about her, i hate her. C'mon na! I'm hotter than her, even though she's more beautiful than me. It's ladies like me men want."

"I never knew some men want dumb ladies like you."


PART 82
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

"Hey, am not dumb. Do i look dumb?"

He laughed.

"Won't you give me a hug at least.
I love the way you smell."

"Yeah, my wife got the perfume for me."

"Jeeez, please i told you not to talk of her. I miss you baby. Don't make me feel bad. Just give me a chance, i swear you going to love me than that wife of yours. I don't know why you have been rejecting me ever since then. It hurts me so much. Just see the mark you caused on my forehead the last time i came. Take a look at it, yet i still love you. I love you but you can't just understand."

"You love me and you came here to insult my mother."

"C'mon, sweetheart. Your wife told me she was causing trouble, i did that so she would leave for your sake. I know your wife didn't have the strength to send her away."

"Wow, my sake?"

"Yes dear. I love you so much and i missed you. I never knew i will have this privilege to come see you since."

"I never knew also."

"Hmmmm, i love you. I can't stop thinking of you all the time."

"I love you too", Ibrahim said.

"Really?"

"Yes," Ibrahim replied.

"Are you really for real?"

"I am for real, i love you."

"Are you serious? Why haven't you been showing it to me?"

"Because of my wife."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah. Like you said she left two days ago, and there is no where she will be now other than a man's house just like you said."

"Yes she is. Am so surprised you love me, and you never told me or showed it to me."

"Like i said it's because of my wife."

"But even before your wife came back, you never showed it to me that you love me."

"I'm sorry. I was going through a lot those times."

"I'm sorry, i never knew."

"Yes you didn't. Now my wife is gone we have the whole house.

"Awwwwww."

"Yeah, i am happy you made her leave. Thanks for all the advises you gave to her."

"C'mon, i never advised her to leave you."

"Stella, i know you well. Anyway, i am happy she's gone."

"Are you for real?"

"Yes, i am for real."

Few minutes later.

"Can we go to your room?" Stella asked Ibrahim.

_"O my God! Stella! I never knew_", i said in my mind.

"Sure, that will be better."

"Wow, i love you sweetheart", Stella said, happily.

I heard their footsteps, walking to the room.

I went in to the bathroom, and closed the door almost to the end. I was peeping from the door. 
Ibrahim, sat on the bed when they got in.
Stella started removing her earrings and necklace.

"I love you so much, i missed that last night we had together in the hotel."

Ibrahim, smiled at her.

"Stella, i never knew you are devil! Thank God, i stopped listening to you, if not she would ruined me and my husband. I thought you were a friend, Stella!"

"I can't wait for it today",Stella said, smiling.

She removed her jacket. She was about to remove her inner wear when Ibrahim called me, i came out immediately. Stella was shocked on seeing me. 


MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

I smiled at Stella, who was still looking shocked. Ibrahim, smiled at me.

So Stella this is who you are? 

She didn't say a word, she kept on looking at me.

"So you planned this?" She asked Ibrahim.

"So all your plan was just to separate  my husband and I, right! Fool! You failed! 

Ibrahim, laughed out loudly, mocking Stella.

Stella, became angry.

"I'm not a fool!" Stella said, angrily.

So you still have the guts to talk, Stella! I'm just grateful to God, who didn't let it possible for you to have destroyed my marriage.

Ibrahim, nodded his head to what i said.

"Just take a look at yourself, are you not ashamed of yourself now?  Just go have a change of life, and stop living an irresponsible life."

"Don't you ever talk to me like that!"

I looked at her in surprise, she still had the gut to raise her voice.

"I hate you! Fuck you! You are the one who is a fool! You say i am living an irresponsible, you must be very stupid for that statement."

You are the fool who is living an irresponsible life because, if not you won't be after my husband to have him. You just so shameless!  

Stella, got angry the more.

"You are the fool because you know nothing, and if you were not a fool you won't have listened to all my advice."

She kept on throwing more insults at me, and i was replying her.

"Shut up! You bastard!" Stella said.

When she said that Ibrahim got up angrily and slapped her on the face, the sound of the slap resounded.

"Don't you ever talk to my wife like that, never! You this cheap useless thing."

"Jeeez, did you just slap me? You call me cheap, and useless. Stella said, as tears were rolling down her eyes.

Yes, he did Stella. If you would have respected  yourself at first all this won't have happened.

"You will see", she said to Ibrahim, as tears were just rolling down her face.

She brought out her phone.

"This your so called husband here has been having sex with me, if you don't know", she said, showing me pictures of she and Ibrahim in an hotel.

Ibrahim, looked at her surprised.
I kept mute, looking at her.

"And here is always your husband transfers to me, for me not to tell you! You can see his name."

Is that true? I asked Ibrahim with all seriousness.
Ibrahim, kept mute.

Stella, nodded her head like, yes, Ibrahim  you will see.

So you did? I asked Ibrahim.

"Yeah, he forces me even when i don't want to, and he bribes me not to  tell you", Stella, said confidently.

I saw that look on her, like 'yes she was achieving something.'

Won't you answer me?! I asked Ibrahim.

"He won't answer you because there is no way he can deny it with all these evidences."

Ibrahim, looked at me.
I bursted into laughter.
Stella, looked at me surprised.

I never knew you will be so bold to show this? My own husband, my man. Aren't you ashamed of yourself?

Ibrahim, laughed out loudly, mocking her.

Stella, looked  the both of us, she was confused.

Stella, you are very stupid indeed! That was then, he was drunk  and you  throw yourself cheaply at him, if he wasn't drunk i trust my husband here he wouldn't have done such.  My husband doesn't love you.  You even paid for the hotel room yourself. Stella, you should be so so ashamed of yourself.

"Yes! I never loved you and i can never love a cheap and stupid woman like you. My wife here is who i love and no one else, and i respect her so much!" Ibrahim said to Stella.

Stella, tears increased the more.

Yes, and i love him also. Not you or anyone can separate us.

I walked closer to him.
He pulled me closer to himself and kissed me deeply.

The tears coming out from Stella eyes  could not stop. She took her necklace, earring, her bag and jacket, walking out crying.

"I thought you will stay to watch us", Ibrahim said mockingly to her.

"Get out!" Stella yelled at him.

Ibrahim, laughed out.

"I hate both of with passion!"

I looked at her.

"We hate you also", Ibrahim said to her.

I laughed out.

"Go to hell!" Stella said.

"You thought i was going to leave my wife for you, God forbid.  You are such a fool like my wife said."

Stella, left crying.

Me and Ibrahim, laughed out.

"So you wanted that thing to pull off her clothes in front me before you came out, ehnnn", Ibrahim said.

No...no... I said, laughing.

" Then what?"

May be i wanted to see her body, i said, still laughing.

Ibrahim, laughed also.

"I love you baby. I'm so happy."

I love you too. I am happy too.

 I smiled at him.

He hugged me tightly to himself.

"I am sorry."

No, you don't have to, i said, still smiling.

"No one will ever be able to come between us, we will both grow old together."

Amen, i said.

My head was on his chest, he was rubbing my back with his hands.

But you shouldn't have slapped her.

"Not when that thing was Insulting my wife."

But.....

"Shuuuuu", he said.

He locked his lips in mine. We started kissing each other passionately with love.



PART 84
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

That's how we started living happily again.
His mom kept on calling, to ask if Johnson is still going to the mosque he always told her yes. 
I'm sure if not that it was known that Ibrahim is to only have one child, and what Aliya did to Ibrahim, his mom would have advised him to marry a muslim and leave me. His mom didn't like me at all.

Kazeem, called Ibrahim he told him  were now living happily, although he didn't let him know he had converted.

The next day, Kazeem came to visit us. Kazeem, was so happy we were united again.

Three months later.

On a Sunday evening i was watching  TV, Ibrahim was chatting. 
After a while i noticed his mood changed. I asked him what was wrong, he said he forgot his WhatsApp status was on 'my contact' and his sister has seen the picture he uploaded of the three of us at church. He said she asked him if he was now a christian, he told her no but she didn't believe him and she's threatened him that if he doesn't put off christianity immediately she will tell everyone in the family.
I took his phone and read his chats with his sister, tears rolled down my eyes, even his sister hated me because i am christian.
"Don't cry please, all will be well", Ibrahim said.
Ibrahim, was petting me not to cry.

"So that so called wife of yours has succeeded in  brainwashing you into her religion. Remember we are from a muslim family, let mommy and daddy hear you know are dead already", i recalled his sister chat.

Ibrahim, kept on pleading on her on that day not to tell anyone in the family, especially his mom and dad.
Ibrahim,  being a christian didn't really make things best, sometimes i wondered what his family would do if they get to know.

The next day, in the morning.

Ibrahim, was traveling at out of the country for a business trip.

"I told you i will be going to berger today. I didn't plan it you know it just came up yesterday."

Yes you did. Who did you say you want to see sef.

"I told you yesterday, i want to see a client at begger. You know it was just yesteday he called me and it's very important i meet him before i travel today, there is  are important documents he has to give me. You are talking like i didn't tell you."

Why can't the man come himself to meet you?

"C'mon baby, you know he is an elderly man."

So from beger you will go to Ikeja? When did you even say your flight is taking off.

"Yes, by 9pm."

Are you sure you will make it, you won't miss your flight.

"Sure i won't baby, this just 5:30am. By around 11am i should be done, leaving for the airport."

Alright, if you say so.

"What's it, why are you looking like that?"

I don't even know. 

I was looking moody.

"Don't worry baby i will be back soon."

I will miss you so much.

"I will miss you too, but i have to go."

Yeah, i know but i am going to miss you so much. Only Johnson and i will be at home."

"God will be with you guys, like you always say. I will be back soon,baby. I will miss you so much also more than you can imagine", he said looking into my eyes.

Yeah, but i have started missing you even now you haven't gone. I love you am going to miss you, i said as tears rolled down my eyes.

He sighed.

"Don't worry baby, i will always call you, we will be chatting, we will make videos calls. Don't cry please, unless i will be sad and i won't be able to concentrate well."

Five minutes later, his phone rang his mom was the one calling.
He told her he will  be going to begger first before he travels.
His mom prayed for him on the phone.

"Have got to leave now. I will miss you so so much", he said, and kissed me.

I prayed for him.

That's why i love you, thanks for your prayers."

That's how he left on that day.

Few hours later.

I had been expecting him to call but he didn't, so i picked up my phone to call him. I saw my phone was off, Johnson had used my phone to play games.

Johnson! You have used my phone to play game again! Don't you have yours! I yelled at him angrily.

"I didn't charge it, i didn't see the charger", he said with teary eyes.

"My battery was 20% last night i didn't know why i didn't charge it, if i know i would have", i said, in my mind.

I instructed the gateman to put the generator on.

Like 10 minutes later he came in.....

"Madam, i don dey try the gen no on o."

Why? But it was serviced yesterday, i said, angrily.

"Yes o, oga call that man make he do am yesterday."

Is there not diesel in it, or is it finished?

"Madam, no o diesel still they well."

Please, just put on the small gen now, i want to charge.

"Madam, which small gen."

The second gen, i said to him angrily.

"Ha, madam that one no be small gen o na still big gen o."

I didn't reply him.

He came back to tell me to tell me the gen wasn't working. 

"Oh my God, and Ibrahim is the one who has the number of the man that do service the gen", i said in my mind.

"Madam, i fit go look for person to come check am."

No, my husband doesn't let anyone to service the gen apart from that man. Do you have his number? I asked him.

He said no.

I went to try the gen myself, it didn't start.

I kept on hoping they will on the light.

My mind wasn't at rest as i had not heard from Ibrahim.

And hour later i went out to get something, i heard few people discussing that the light had fault.

At around 7:30 pm the light was on i was happy. I quickly connected my charger to my phone. After about 10mintues i put it on i saw a message from him....

_Baby, i have been trying to reach you. I guess your phone is off, you told me it was low before i left. Once you phone is on please call me i want hear your voice. I love you baby._ 

I love you too, i said.
The message was at 11am.

 I dialed his number immediately it didn't go through, i kept on dialling his number, 'the number you are calling is not available', it kept on saying.

I became worried. I prayed for him in my mind.

After some few minutes i dialed his number again, i kept on dialing his number but it was still the same.

I became worried the more.

"Oh Lord, this is just 7pm there is no way he will be in the flight now", i was so worried.

My mind wasn't at rest.

I still kept on dialing his number.

I was about to dial his number when i mistakenly clicked on a notification on my screen.

What i saw shocked me deeply, my heart started beating so fast.



PART 85
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

 _Tragedy struck at the Otedola Bridge, Lagos end of the Lagos-Ibadan Expressway, after a petrol-laden tanker crashed and exploded._

"No, no, no! Ibrahim couldn't be here, no God forbid! He said he will leave berger before 11am."

"What if he left  late and got involved in the accident?" My mind asked me.

"No, no, not possible. I forbid it in Jesus name."

"Then why is his number not going through."

Fear gripped me.

I dialed his number in fear, it was still the same.
I was about to call his mom number but i stopped. 

"Mommy, what happened?" Johnson asked.

I didn't say a word. 

"No, my husband can't be dead", i said in my mind as i flashed back to the video i watched, about the accident.

Fear gripped me so much that tears were rolling down my face.
I was so scared.
 

I dialed his number again but it was still the same.

"No, no! He is in the flight now that's why he is not picking" I thought, to get over the fear that he was involved in the fire accident.

His dad called me to know if i have heard from him, i told him no. He also asked me if i heard what happened at berger, i told him yes, he said we shouldn't just assume that.

I couldn't sleep well that night. The few minutes i managed to sleep, i kept on having dreams that he died in the motor accident, and i woke up crying, dialing his number.

The next morning when i got up from bed, i took my phone to dial his number it was still the same. 
I called his dad, he said he hadn't heard from him also.

I kept on dialing 
Ibrahim's number.....
please just pick up, i said as tears were rolling down my face.

I was so worried, i couldn't do anything. I just kept on dialing his number. Tears couldn't stop rolling down my face.

All attempts taken by his family and friends to find Ibrahim proved abortive. I also did my best by reporting to the police station, but it still proved abortive. He wasn't found.

We all believed he died in the fire accident at beger on June 29, 2018.

G…..o.....d!!!!! Why!!! Why!!!! Why did you let Ibrahim get involved in the fire accident? I cried out in pains.

"Haaaaaaaaaaa, na wa o! Haaaaaa, so oga done go! Why! Why!" The gateman said, as tears rolled down his face.

Johnson, was crying also.

Ibrahim, you never told me you were going to leave me. Why did you leave why, why? I held his picture close to my heart, crying.

You told me we were going to grow old together and you left on the 29th of July.

I told you not to go to berger Ibrahim i did, i did, i said, crying.

Ibrahim why, just tell me why. I will never be able to accept the fact that i won't see you again, no, no. Ibrahim, please just come back. I love you so much, please. 

I was soaked in my tears.

Ibrahim, please just come back because life is noting without you, there is no reason to keep on living without you. 

Why is death wicked? Why did death have to take you away from me? i couldn't stop crying.

I flashed back to the last day i saw him, when he was preparing to travel, pains filled my heart the more.
I laid down on the floor crying.

Ibrahim, i wish you could just come back right now, i couldn't stop crying.

I was crying in serious pains. The pains of losing a love is something else.

I flashed back to the first day we met. 

Ibrahim, no! Come back! I screamed out crying.

Johson, who was crying also, came  closer to me petting me.

"Mommy, don't cry", he said."

He kept on telling me not to cry but i couldn't.

Ibrahim, please just come back to me, i want to see you please...... Johnson was whipping my tears.

I imagined how he must have got burnt in that fire.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa, i screamed out, crying.

The pains i was feeling was worst than ever, Ibrahim, i love so much was gone.

I wished i could bring him back to life. 

God please bring Ibrahim back to life please. Lord only you can feel my pains now, please bring Ibrahim back to life there is noting impossible for you to do.

His friends were calling me also, encouraging me to take heart and be strong. Kazeem, called also.

People in the estate came to pay condolence visits.
It was really sad.
No matter what they said, i couldn't stop crying.

What is the essence of life, when Ibrahim who is everything to me is gone. Ibrahim, i love you and you are gone.

I wish i can just reverse things. I wish i can just see you now, i said in my mind, crying.

I was filled with pains in me, i was devastated to the last point in life.
I couldn't stop crying for even a seconds.

I took my phone, i checked my WhatsApp there were a lot of condolence messages but i didn't click on any. I checked his last seen which was still the same, _last seen 29 jun 2018._ I clicked on his display picture, it was a picture of me and him, my tears increased i couldn't stop crying.

I clicked on my status, family and friends had posted his picture with the word 'RIP'. 

Haaaaaaaaaaaa, no, no, no! I screamed out in pains as viewed it.

Kazeem posted Ibrahim's picture saying......

_It's so painful you are gone bro. You will forever remember in our hearts, man. RIP_ He posted it with a crying emoji.

I viewed another of his friend's status saying....

_So sad you were involved in that deadly fire accident. Rip. May you continue to rest in the bosom of God._
With crying emoji.

Another posted his picture saying...

_RIP, So sad you are gone my lawyer. We love you but God loves you more._
With crying emoji.

I put down my phone, crying in pains.



PART 86
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

It was so painful, i hated the world.

No one ever knew he would be gone so soon, i said in mind as i was crying.

I wished to just die also.

My phone rang, Joyce was calling. I answered she and her husband spoke to be strong, they apologized that they had been busy that's why they weren't able to come. They also said they would come the next day.

When i remembered i won't see him again i cried the more.

Lord, why did you let Ibrahim just go, i sat on the chair in the living room, crying.

I took a pen and paper to write, that's my way of expressing my emotions through songs....
 
  _Why did you leave me, my love._
_You left leaving me with so much pains and tears, am more than heart broken, it's just like half of my life is taken away because you were the half of it._
_I wish i could see you again to touch you, to hold you, to hug you, to have those lovely times again._
_I don't try to be strong for a moment because i know i can never be without you._ _You used to be my joy, my peace, my love, my heart, my world, my life._
_Please, wake up and come back to me........._
I dropped my pen, crying.

Please come back, please come back to me. I love you please, i said as i cried out in pains.

Johnson, was petting me.

At that time Johnson stopped going to school.

Anytime Johnson, was hungry he went to the kitchen to prepare for or noddles for himself, or he took bread and tea.

"Mommy, eat na. Don't cry again mommy", Johnson was forcing me to eat but i didn't.  I lost appetite for food from day one, i didn't feel hungry. All i wanted was for Ibrahim to be back to me.

Days kept on passing by, i couldn't stop crying, i couldn't get over the pains.

Loneliness, sadness, pains and depression could be felt all around the house.

I took my phone and dialed his number.....

Ibrahim, please pick up today please. I want to hear your voice today, please, i said, as i was crying.

"Mommy, daddy is dead now because you told me then that he was dead, Mr and Mrs Abel said the tongue is powerful", Johnson, said to me as to tears rolled down his face.

Johnson's, statement hit me hard, i felt a very hard pain in my chest harder than the pains i was feeling in my chest before he said that.
I looked at him dumfounded and crying.

A month later. July 29, 2018.

I stood in the room looking at his clothes, shoes, wristwatches and all. I took a cloth of his, i held it close to myself, crying. I got up i took his perfume and opened it, the fragrance made me  remember him the more. It fell off my hand. I broke down crying the more.

They say pains is not what can be seen, but my pains at then could be seen all over me.

Do you know how it feels like to lose someone you love? Do you know?

I laid down on bed crying when i heard a voice say.....

"Hello, anyone at home."

I wondered who it could be as i whipped my tears. I walked down the stairs to living room, to see Stella.

"Hi", Stella said.

I didn't say a word. 

"If you won't reply to my greeting that's not a problem. I am sorry for.... Did i just i am sorry", she said and laughed out loudly.

"Sorry for what? No! Am i the one that killed your lovely husband", she said, mockingly, laughing at me.

I tried to hold back my tears but it flowed down my face uncontrollable.

"Awwwww, so he that loves you is dead, so painful i feel like crying right now." 

She acted like she was crying, mocking me.

I wanted to speak but i couldn't it was like my throat was blocked. I started crying.

"Don't cry baby, he still loves the wise lady. So sad he is gone. Don't cry you will go to meet him soon, ok."

I kept on looking at her.

"Jeeeez, see the way you look like, i hardly recognised you when you walked out. You  look so thin, disgusting, you look old, it obvious his death is a painful to you. Why not just commit suicide so you guys can continue your love life over there."

I felt like giving Stella words of her life, but due to my mood i couldn't. I just kept on crying as she spoke to me.

"Try committing suicide ok! don't forget. Bye now", she said, as she laughed and walked away.

Stella, was so happy Ibrahim was dead.

I sat on the stairs crying.

A month later, making it two month he was gone.

I thought i was used to pains with all what happened to me then and i could always be strong, but the pains of losing Ibrahim was something else. I couldn't stop crying, i missed Ibrahim every minutes. 

One afternoon around 1pm, i was sitting in the living room with Johnson when i heard someone hitting the gate loudly, i became scared.

"Who could be that."

The gateman had left since. I told Johnson to sit while i go to see who was knocking so hard on the gate.

"Mommy, please don't go", Johnson said fearfully.

Noting will happen to me, don't fear son, i said to him.

"Mommy no, daddy his gone i don't want to lose you also, mommy please", Johnson pleaded in fear, as tears rolled down his face.

Relax son don't fear God is with us.

He held my cloth, cryin, that i shouldn't go.

The knock on the gate was becoming harder.

I left Johnson, and walked up to the gate.


PART 87
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

I was surprised to see Ibrahim's mom and his elder sister.  I opened the gate and the driver drove in.
Still surprised, i greeted them and they  didn't  respond well.

I didn't know you are back from the state, I said to Ibrahim's sister, but she didn't answer me.

Johnson, was looking at the both of them when they came in.

"Hanhan,  won't you come and greet your grandmother again, ehnn, Ahmed", Ibrahim's mom said.

Johnson, stood still looking.
She went closer to him and pulled him to herself. Ibrahim's sister hugged Johnson tightly to herself.

"I'm your aunty", she said to Johnson.

"My aunty?" Johnson asked her, and he looked at me.

"Yes, i am. I'm your daddy's sister."

"My daddy sister?"

Yes, i said to Johnson, who looked surprised.

"Yes, i am the one you do speak to on the phone sometimes."

"You are the one?" Johnson asked her.

" Yes, i am the one. You really have the looks of my brother indeed", she said with teary eyes.

Tears rolled down my eyes. Truly, Johnson, is a carbon copy of his dad.

"You killer, you killed my own brother", his sister reactions suddenly changed.

I looked at her  surprised.

How do you mean? I asked her seriously.

"You heard me right."

I didn't kill my husband, he died in a fire accident in berger.

"Will you shut up! You killed him", she raised her hand and slapped me.

I was so surprised.

"What have i done?" I asked myself.

"Don't slap my mommy! What did she do to you! Johnson, yelled at her.

I wondered if she was actually in her right sense, how could she say i killed Ibrahim.

"You made my brother to covert into your so called christianity and not long after then he died", she said and spat on my face.

Oh my God! I said as tears were rolling down my face.

"You made me lose my only brother, she said, as tears rolled down her face.
You made him  change to your religion now he is dead."

Tears were rolling down his mom's face.

I didn't force him, and my religion didn't kill your brother.

"Don't you dare talk! You are lucky i wasn't able to come as soon as possible when i heard about my brother's death, if not i would have killed you with my bare hands with the way i was feeling."

"You bewitched my son, now he is dead", his mom said, crying.

"Leave her to me, let me deal with her!" His sister said.

"Why did you force my brother into your religion, why? You witch!"

I'm not a witch! I didn't force him, he decided to.

She raised her hand and slapped me again.

I stood still crying.

Johnson, was crying also, telling her to stop.

"Will you agree that you forced him, will you? Of course not!"

I looked at her.

"There is no peace for the wicked! You will know pains.
Witch!" She pushed me, and i fell on the chair.

"Why shedding fake tears. You deceived my brother, look you can't deceive me!"

Please enough of this. My religion didn't kill your bother. Ibrahim, decided to covert i didn't force him. Don't call me a witch again. I love Ibrahim you know that, i didn't kill him so don't accuse me of what you know sincerely well that i didn't do, i said, as tears kept rolling down my eyes.

"You did! You are a witch that's who you are! A deceiver too! You deceived us by being a muslim before you married him and after you did you showed your real self. You are a pretender! You are a witch pretending not to be!"

She spat on me again.

Farida, enough of all this ok! I yelled at her.

"Wow, so you even called my name. How dare you! She said, and slapped me again.

My anger  i had been controlling increased, i raised my hand and slapped her.

We started fighting.

"Mommy, stop", Johson said crying.

"See who says is a christian o. I said it you have been a pretended indeed", Ibrahim's mom said.

She tore my cloth as we were fighting.

I pushed her and she fell on the floor.

"So you want to kill my daughter! O fe pa omi mi abi, after you have killed my son. Leave my daughter o! E fi le o!"

If you come closer you will regret it, i said to his mom.

She was shocked at my statement, she stood still in fear as she kept on shouting.

She was on the on the floor, i was on top of her.
I tore her hijab with my hands. I pulled her hair with my hand with all the strength i had in me at that time, she screamed out in pains.
I pulled her head up holding her hair, hitting her head on the floor, she screamed out loudly the more. I raised my hand and punched her hard on her mouth, her mouth started bleeding, blood started gushing out from her mouth. 

Johnson, was crying.

His mom kept on shouting, saying i want to kill her daughter. She was shouting for help.

The anger in me was so much,
I bit her on her skin, i almost cut off her skin away with my teeth, she kept on screaming in pains. Where i bit her was bleeding also, i touched my teeth with my hand and i saw blood on my hand.

When i saw she was weak already i got up from her. I was panting heavily. 
I rushed to my room to clean her blood that stained me and to change my clothe that was torn.

When i came down to the living room, i didn't see Johnson nor the two of them. I looked around. I rushed outside.

Johnson, was in their car, crying and shouting mommy.'
They had  forced Johnson, in the car before i came out.

Leave my son! I yelled at them, crying. Leave my son now!

"Are you stupid! Move now!" His mom yelled at the driver.

"Mommy, please come please. Open the door now, i want to and meet my mommy." Johnson, cried out.

I ran after the car as the driver drove out of the gate. The driver increased the speed and i gave up, crying.

I walked back in, i sat on the ground crying.

After about twenty minutes a thought came to my mind, i got up still crying.
I will get my son back, i said to myself.



PART 88
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

I went in to take my car key. 

I won't let them have their way i will get my son back, i said, as tears kept on rolling down my face.

I entered my car and drove out. I didn't see any trace of her car so i increased the speed of my car the more. I drove recklessly on that day, i didn't obey traffic rules at all. My car was stopped and i was arrested for driving recklessly.
I kept on pleading and pleading but they didn't listen to me.

Joyce and Abel, number were not going through.
I tried to recall my parents and siblings number but i couldn't. I knew it before, but at that time i couldn't remember. I thought of Stella, i knew she won't answer if she was called, instead she will be happy i got arrested.

 I was taken into the cell , a cell i had never been too until that day. I cried the more.

"Who is going to bail me out?" I asked myself, as i kept on crying.

It was just like my pains were meant to be increasing day by day.

"What a life, haaaa! What did i do to deserve all this pains?" I asked myself, crying in pains bitterly.
"Lord why? Why? Why me?

The cell was dirty, smelling, horrible, any bad thing you can use to describe it.

"Na why you dey cry since shey na only you dey here ni", one of the lady in the cell asked me.

I raised up my face to look at the ladies in the cell, they were five in number plus me made it six.

"I go dash you slap o! No be you i ask question", the lady said, in a way that scared me with her looks.

She had a tinted hair in red colour, she looked hard, razz and dirty. She was smelling like the odour of the cell, so bad. I hardly breathed well.

"You won show say you be boss abi" She said in anger, and hit me on my neck with her hand.

I screamed out in pains.

A lady who was sleeping on the floor woke up.

"Kiloshele, na who be that?" She asked.

"Mahmah, na this new one when dem just bring today o. She dey won form boss,  mo de beere  ko soro( l asked her a question she didn't answer)."

She stood up looking at me with a dangerous look, fear gripped me.
The lady they referred to as ' mahmah', she is tall, huge and hefty. She had a lot of scares on her body, like she had been stabbed and injured many times. She had a tinted hair in gold colour.

"Na when dem bring am?"

"As you dey sleep o", the lady who hit me replied her.

She looked at me again.

"See as you fresh sha. Wentin you commit when make them bring you here?" Mahmah asked me.

I couldn't say a word, i just kept on crying.

"You kill person? No be you mahmah dey ask question?" One of the ladies said.

A lady wanted to raise her hand on me, the tall hefty lady held her hand back.

She looked at her surprised.

"No touch am", she said.

She looked at her surprised, again.

"No touch am, i done worn you", the hefty lady said.

"Wetin na! Na me be the last person before she come. Them do me my own, na my turn na", she said to the hefty lady.

"If you talk again i go carry you hit you for ground", the hefty lady said.

She sat down on the floor angrily.

I couldn't stop crying. I was managing to breath.

After a long while, the hefty lady came closer to me, she looked at me before she spoke.

"Wetin you do when them bring you come this place?"

I.....was...dri...dri.. drivi...driving...re...recke..lessy, i managed to tell her as i was crying.

"Na wa o for this policemen o! You jam person ni?"

I shook my head.

"That one na small thing your family go bail out sharp sharp."

I nodded my head.

"No cry jare dem go bail you. Na here i done dey since before all this ones them come, she said, looking at the ladies.
If any of them try nonsense to you, no waste time tell me i go deal with them. 

The ladies didn't say a word they all feared her in the cell. Anything she spoke they listened to her. She was just like their boss.

"You hear wetin i talk?" The hefty lady asked me.

I nodded my head.

She walked away from me to another side in the cell, and sat.

I could not stop crying my clothe was soaked in tears.

I never knew life could treat me badly up to that extent. Ibrahim, Johson, i said in pains.
Lord please, please, rescue me.

After a while food was brought in.
They all stood up pulling, and dragging each other for the plate of food.  They started insulting each other.....
"You dey mad."
"Na your food?"
"You dey craze."
"Na you dey mad, na you dey craze for head."
"Idiot! If you like spit for the good i go still chop am."
In  less than one minute they had all devoured the food, hungrily.
They still kept on insulting one another angrily. 

"If una like make una kill una sef for there o", a policeman said, as he walked away.
The ladies started insulting him, angrily.
"Idiot police! Na your papa for house dem go kill." 
"Police when no get sense. See as una be like the monkey for my for my village."
"God go punish you! Useless police."

They kept on throwing insults at the policeman, and they started fighting again.

"Fight kill una sef, bury una sef o", another policeman said, as he walked away too.

"Na your papa and mama dem go bury, dem go bury you join also."
"Dem go bury your wife and children join."

They kept on insulting him.

I sat quietly, crying.

    In   the   night.

"Abeg comot make i sleep", one of the lady said, and kicked me on my ribs.

I screamed out in pains.

The hefty lady woke up.

"Wetin happen?" She asked me.

I just kept on crying.

"I no warn all of una here say make una no touch am."

"I tell am say make she shift  i won sleep, she no listen."

The hefty lady punched her on her face.

"Abeg, no vex", she said.

I nodded my head.

She laid down immediately to sleep.

I wondered why she was nice to me. If not of her those ladies would have beaten the hell out of my life and injured me.

I sat down crying, with my two kneels up and my face bowed.

I couldn't sleep. The few minutes i managed to sleep, i saw Ibrahim in my dream just like when we were  living happily, i cried.

"If he were to be alive i won't have spent a day here" i said to myself.  I flashed back to the times he was alive, my pains increased the more.

"Abeg, your cry dey disturb my sleep o", one of the ladies said, angrily.

"Lord please rescue me. When Paul and Salis were in the prison you broke the prison gate to let them out. Lord Jesus, come to my rescue." 
I cried out bitterly, in pains.



PART 89
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

The next day, i was still in the cell, crying.

"Na wa o, why dem never con bail you?" The hefty lady asked me.

I managed to talk....
I have...no one, i said, to her.

"Hanhan! You no get husband, you no get family, you no get friends?"

I have no family, my husband is dead, i said, crying.

"Ehyaaaa, she said in pity. Friends nko?"

I have only one friend and her number isn't going through, i said.

I had deleted Bayo's number at a time for Ibrahim to believe i didn't have anything to do with him again.

"Haaaaa, wentin go con happen now? All these police dem day mad sha."

I bowed my head, i kept on crying and praying in my mind.

After a while, a woman came and started preaching. As she was perching the ladies in the cell weren't listening to her.

I bowed my head on my kneels, crying.
When the woman was done preaching, i lifted up my face.
The woman looked at me surprised.

"Are you not the one?" The woman asked surprisly.

I looked at her, wondering who she was.

"Are you not the one?" She asked again.

I kept on looking at her.

"Yes, it's you! She exclaimed. You are the lady we accommodated few years back when rain was falling on that day. You are the one who gave my daughter money to get food on that day, yes it's you, she said looking at me surprisingly. Don't you remember me?"

"O my God", it was then i remembered her, she had really changed.

"You remember me now?" She asked.

I nodded my head, crying.

"What are you doing here?" 

I told her what happened. She shook her head. She said she had been coming to preach, she was surprised to see me.

"Don't worry you will be bailed out", she said.

Tears kept on rolling down my face.

"As you dey go no forget us here o", the hefty lady said.

To cut the long story short, she bailed me out on that day 3rd  September, 2018.

I thanked her so much  that day, she said i should thank God instead. She counted some money and gave it to me, i didn't want to accept but she insisted i take it from her. She said she was in a hurray to attende an important meeting, she hopped into her car and started the engine. I still continued thanking her. I  waved at her  as she drove off.

Who could have believed i would still meet her again?

Thank you Jesus, i said.

I couldn't stop thanking God, as tears kept on rolling down my face. 

"Where do i begin from?" I asked myself in tears.

I hopped into my car and drove off. As i was driving, tears couldn't stop rolling down my face.

When i got home, i still kept on thanking God for using the woman to rescue me.
I couldn't say anything more than "thank you Jesus", as i kept on weeping.

"With all you are passing through is it worth thanking God? 
Why not commit suicide like Stella had said", the thought came to me.

I started imaging committing suicide as Stella had said, to end my pains.

"Commit suicide and leave your son to suffer?" A thought came to my mind.

I kept on crying.

"No, i will get my son back."

I made up my mind that no matter what happened i will fight to get back my son, Johnson.

The next day, i went to Ibrahim's parents house.


PART 90
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

When i got to his parent's house i knocked on the gate, the gateman  answered looking at me through the pin hole of the gate.

"Who do you want to see?" The gateman asked.

I'm here to see Alajah, i said.

"What's your name?" He asked me.

I told him my name.

"Wait, let me go and inform her."

He came back, and said she's coming.

Few minutes later, the gateman opened the gate and she walked out.

"Ki le fe?" (What do you want?) She asked me with angrily.

Good morning ma, i greeted her.

"(Metchew), she hissed. What do you want in my house? You want to kill me now? O fe pa mi, abi?

Tears filled my eyes.

I'm here for my son, i said to her.

"Ohhhhh, so you can kill me also. You had better get away from here right now!" She yelled at me with  great anger.

I'm not going anywhere until i see my son, i said, as tears were rolling down my face.

"Get away from here and never you step your feet here again! Never!" She shouted at me angrily.

She went in and closed the gate.

"Lock my gate now! And never you open it for her again! Sho ti gbo? (Have you heard?) She said to the gateman.

"E ma bi nu ma.( Don't be angry ma.) Mo ti gbo ma. (I have heard you ma.)

I heard the gateman lock the gate immediately.

"Nonsense", she said and hissed.

I  kept on hitting the gate pleading for the gateman to open the gate but he didn't.

"I'm sorry i can't, she instructed me not to", the gateman said.

I still kept on hitting the gate, pleading and shedding tears.

The gateman didn't open the gate.

I sat down and rested my back on the gate, crying in pains.

Johnson, Johnson, Johnson, i said, as i was crying.

After a while i summoned on courage and got up.  I started hitting the gate harder, shouting 'Johnson'.

I kept on hitting the gate harder, but no one answered.

I cried out. I wished i could just see my son. I felt totally heart broken. I kept on crying till i got home.

The next day.

I didn't give up, i was desperate to see my son.

I got to her house and knocked on the gate.

"Who is there?" The gateman asked.

I kept mute.

"Haa! I'm sorry i can't open the gate for you."

Please, i am here to see my son, ple....ase.... i pleaded.

He didn't say a word.

I started hitting the gate with my two hands, pleading and shedding tears.

Few minutes later.

"Didn't i worn  you yesterday never to step your feet here again! I can see you are proving stubborn. You want to succeed in killing my own grandson with that religion of yours. You have failed! Go and tell them you have failed o", i heard his mom say, from inside.

 My son, my son,  please, i said as tears kept on rolling down my face.

The gateman opened the gate and she walked out.

"You can never get him back. Get out away from here!" She shouted at me angrily.

I kept on pleading, as she was shouting at me angrily.

"Shut up now! Get away! You can't have Ahmed back. I think i have been talking too much."

I knew no matter how hard i tried she won't let me see my son so i went on my kneels, in tears.

Please, just let me see him today. I promise not to come here again as you have said.

"(Metchew), she hissed. You cant see him, stop wasting your time. Get away from my house!"

I still kept on pleading on my kneels, crying.

"I have been talking too much like i said. I can see you don't want to get out from here. You think i am joking here. You had better leave here now, unless you will regret it", she said angrily, and walked in.

The gateman locked the gate immediately.

I still kept on pleading, and hitting the gateman.

"Please, my son. Please ..... ",I  pleaded, crying.

 
"You don't want to leave! After today you won't step your feet here again", i heard his mom say.

"Please, my son, please, i still kept on pleading, hitting the gate.

I wondered if his dad was at home or not. Although, he travels a lot due to his work.

I didn't stop. 

Almost an hour later.

Three guys approached me, one of them held my hand immediately, he pulled me away from the gate and pushed me,  i fell on the ground. I felt pains in my rib and my arm, i cried out in pains. They warned me never to  disturb her, if not they would do worst to me. They left immediately.

They street is a quite place, people hardly passed by.

I laid on the ground crying in pains, i couldn't get up due to the serious pains i was feeling in my rib and my arm. I raised my head up a bit i saw blood flowing from my hand, i saw seriously injured.

After some few minutes, i tried to get up but i couldn't. I tried up to five times before i managed to get up in pains. I managed to walk little by little in pains before i saw a bike and stopped it. The bike rode me to the bus stop, i boarded a cab to go home. I couldn't stop crying.

I got home still in pains, holding Ibrahim's and Jonson's picture, crying.

"Ibrahim, why did you go? Why? If you didn't all this won't be happening right now, why?" I cried out.
I felt the pains increasing the more, i knew i had to go the hospital. I took my purse from my bag that was close to me. I managed to walk outside the gate. I wanted to take a step when i felt a very sharp pain in my rib. I screamed out in pains. A woman that lives in the Estate, came to my rescue and rushed me to the hospital.

PART 91
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

When i was completely healed, i didn't still give up. I wanted my son back.

When i got there again the gate was locked with a padlock which meant no one was in. I waited for hours but no one came till i left.

The next day.

I went again, to my surprise i saw two army men at the gate with a gun in their hands, their faces were looking so mean.
They asked me who i wanted to see, i told them, they said they can't let me in.
They warned me not to near the gate, fear gripped me.
I kept on pleading, but they didn't say a word they stood still with their mean faces.

"It's like someone must have told her i came here yesterday", i thought to myself, as tears kept on rolling down my face, as i kept on pleading for them to let me in to see my son.
I kept on pleading and pleading on that day, but they didn't let me in. I feared to go closer to the gate, because i was scared of what they might do to me, their faces showed no mercy at all.

I left on that day, crying.

I went four times again, but i wasn't allowed in no matter how hard i tried.

I sent a text message to her saying....

_Please ma, please just let me see my son, i don't mind converting into a full muslim, i will. I'm willingly to do that. Please ma, please, i am sorry, have mercy on me._
I cried in pains as I  typed each word. She replied me saying.........

_Don't you ever text me again, it's too late now._

I kept on sending messages to her but she didn't reply me again.

I summoned on courage to call her, but she didn't answer. I still kept on sending texts pleading, and calling her till she blocked my number from contacting her.

I cried out the more in pains.

"Lord, why is my pains meant to be increasing day by day? What did i do to deserve all this pains i am through?", i said in my mind, crying.

When i knew there was no way i could get my son back, i started praying to God to touch her mind to bring Johnson back to me. I knew Johnson would have missed me so much.

Ibrahim's death was still a hard on me, i was just managing to be strong. Losing someone you love isn't an easy thing to get over at all, almost every second i couldn't stop thinking of him and crying.

One night i was on my bed shedding tears in pains. My phone rang, kazeem was the one calling.

Me: Hello.
Kazeem: Hello, Good evening. Ba wo ni?
Me: I'm not okay at all, Kazeem i am not.
Kazeem: (He sighed.)
He apologized for not coming to see me, he said he had not being in Lagos for months.
Kazeem: E jhor, e ma bi nu. (Please, don't be angry.)
Me: mi bi nu.
I told him how Johnson was taken away for me, i told him how i had been trying to get him, i told him everything she did. Kazeem, felt pity for me on the phone, he said he would come the next day,and things will be sorted out, and Johnson would be back.
We talked on the phone for more than 30mintues before he hanged up.

The next day, Kazeem arrived, i asked him if he had seen Johnson.

"(He sighed), i haven't seen him, you are the first person i am coming to see. I told you i  just arrived  Lagos yesterday", Kazeem said.

I nodded my head , in tears.

He looked at Ibrahim's picture that was on the wall.

"So sad he is gone, may he rest in perfect peace, Kazeem said.

More than sad, i said as tears rolled down my face.

I started crying in pains.

"It's well don't cry all will be well", he said as he was petting me not to cry.

Now, i can't even get to see my son also, i said, as i was crying.

He told me not to cry, that he will try his best to talk to his Aunty, to bring back my son to him.

I was quite happy he was around at that time, he was cheering me up, and encouraging me that Johnson will be back.

Later in the evening he went in to the kitchen to prepare food for both of us.

"Kazeem, is such a good person. I wonder why he hasn't gotten married up till now", i thought  to myself as we were talking.

"I'm happy, at least you ate better, than in the morning", Kazeem said.

I forced a smile on my face.
I asked him why he hadn't gotten married, he said the lady he was supposed to settle down with, left him for another man, and a lot of ladies had been disappointing him. I  really felt for him, i told him not to give up that God will grant him a good woman.

"I hope so", Kazeem said, sadly.

Yes, God will, i replied him.

In the night around 8:00pm, i was in my room when Kazeem knocked on my door.

Come in, i said.

He opened the door, and walked in.

"I'm sorry for disturbing you", kazeem said.

No, you are not disturbing me na, i said.

"Alright, if you say so. Anyway, i got oranges on my way coming, i forgot to bring it out earlier. Guess, you will like some."

Wow, thank you. I love oranges a lot.

"You are welcome", he replied.

I took the oranges from him, i went to the kitchen to wash it, when i was done i put it in a tray with a knife beside it, and i walked up to the room.

I hope i didn't waste time, i said, immediately i opened the door, and walked in.

"Not at all."

Thanks, i said.

"You don't need to", he replied.

If you say so, i said to him.

I pulled the center table in the room close to bed, and i placed the tray on the table. I cut the oranges into halves i gave him one, and i took one.

As we were sucking the orange, and talking, my mind flashed to Ibrahim and the good times we shared together. I was looking at his picture on my bed. Kazeem, noticed my mood had changed.

"All is well, may his soul rest in peace", Kazeem said.

All can never be well, i miss him so much, i said, as tears flowed down my face.

"You have to be strong, you have to be a strong woman for your son, Ahmed", he said, as he was petting me.

After a while, he said...

"I have to go now. Goodnight, and sweet dreams."

Good night, i said.

"See you tomorrow morning", he said, and left.

When he left i walked in to the bathroom to have a shower.

I came out with my towel round my body, i wanted to change into a night wear, but i laid down on my bed shedding tears, it was just like a routine.

I couldn't sleep, i needed someone close to me at that moment. I called Kazeem's number he didn't answer, i called again, and he picked up.

"Kiloshele (what's happening)", he asked me immediately he picked up.

"Nothing, just come please."

He sighed, like he was relieved.

"Alright", he said, and i hanged up immediately.

He knocked on the door, i told him to come in.

"What's wrong?" He asked me.

Nothing, i said, and switched on the light.

"Are you sure?" 

I sighed.  I noticed his eyes were fixed on me, it was at that moment i realized that i was still on my short towel round my body.

I'm sorry for disturbing you, you can go, i said, as i didn't like the way he was looking at me.

"Why did you call me?" He asked.

I'm sorry, i wasn't thinking straight, i said to him.

He came closer to me on the bed.

"You smell so sweet", kazeem said.

I shifted back a bit.

Just stop it, i said.

He held me close to himself, kissing me forcefully.

I pushed him back with my strength.

" What is it?" He asked me, angrily.

"O my God! Why did i call him."

"Stop all this", Kazeem said.

Please, stop this please, i pleaded as i was shifting back on the bed.

He switched off the light, and came closer to me again. He  forced my towel away from my body.

Kazeem, please stop this, please. Please, for God sake, stop this, i pleaded in tears, but his strength was more than mine. Just stop this i am your cousin's wife for God sake. Stop this.

"Shuuuuu", he said.

Kazeem, still kept on forcing me, the more i was pleading.

"You are just so sweet" he said.

I screamed out loudly when i couldn't stand it any longer, then he placed his hand on mouth to prevent me from shouting. I was struggling with him, and crying.

I remembered a knife was close to the bed side,  i stretched my hand to take the knife, i used the knife to cut his arm, angrily.

"Haaaaa!" He screamed as he got up from me immediately, and he switched on the light he had put off before.

It was then i realized i cut him so deeply with the knife, his arm was bleeding profusely, blood was all over the bed.

"God what have i done", i became terrified.

" What the fucking hell! You cut me with a knife!" Kazeem yelled at me in a great anger.

Please, forgive me, i didn't know what came over me, please.

"Oh Lord, what came over me? I asked myself, as tears were flowing down my face. I didn't believe what i did.

"You devil, blood sucker! Will you shut up that mouth of yours."

Kazeem, jhor e ma bi nu. Please, forgive me it was a mistake", i pleaded, crying and regretting what i did.

"I left important things and came all the way here to help your miserable life, and this is how you treat me", he said in great anger, holding his arm that was bleeding.

"Bitch! You will pay with your blood!"
 He said, panting heavily in great anger.

I still kept on pleading, he walked away, i followed him, still pleading, telling him to allow me treat it.

"Don't you dare! I mean don't you dare follow me, unless i will kill you with my bare hands", he said in greater anger.

I became terrified the more, by his statement.

He left that night, with his arm that was still bleeding profusely. 

I sat down on the chair in the living room, crying and regretting why i did that to him. I started to wish i didn't call him. His blood was all over the place, from the room, to the stairs, and down to the living room.

I cried in pains, regretting my action.

"It wasn't his fault it's mine, no man would see me with a short towel round my body, and won't be tempted to come to me", i said in my mind, as i cried out.

I kept on calling his number, but he didn't answer.

I was full with regrets, with pains in my heart.

The next day.

I still kept on calling his number, but he didn't answer. I sent many text messages to him, but he didn't reply.

"I regret why i such to him. Oh God, please forgive me let Kazeem be healed."

I was in the living room, crying in pains and regrets, when i heard the door open, i became scared, i got up immediately in fear.



PART 92
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

"Witch oooo! Killer! Killer! Devil, that's who you are!" His mom yelled at me.

Tears flowed down my eyes.

"Why are you deceiving yourself with those fake tears of yours. You succeeded in killing my son, you wanted to kill my own daughter also, if not that i took my grandson away you would have also killed him, and just yesterday you wanted to kill my nephew, Kazeem, ehnn!" She yelled at the top of her voice.

I...am... sorry, it was a mistake, Kazeem, tried to rape me, i said in tears.

"Will you shut up! You lair! There is no difference between you and the devil. You see, there is no peace for the wicked one, no peace o! Today! I mean today, you are leaving my son's house."

My tears increased the more, i wished I had not harmed Kazeem.

"Wo le o! Ma waste time mi!", (Enter o, don't waste my time)She said. Immdiately, those three guys who injured me on that day i came to her house, walked in.

I kept on pleading, explaining to her how it happened, but she didn't listen to me.

She directed them to my room, they packed all my things carelessly and threw it outside the compound on that day. I still kept on pleading, regretting what i did to Kazeem. I couldn't stop crying.

"See blood everywhere! Aje ni yen, blood sucker, ha! O ma shey o! What a pity my son married a girl like you!" She yelled.

Her statement hit my heart deeply, my tears increased the more.

"Mummy, o ti shey ton o",( mummy, we are done o) one of the guys said to her.

"Shey, o sure ghon!" (Are you really sure).

"Beeni ma", (yes ma), he replied her.

She went into the room to be sure they had packed out all that belonged to me.

"Good, very good", she said, nodding her head as she walked down the stairs.

I came closer to her, pleading.

"Don't beg me!"She yelled at me and pushed me.

"I can see you don't want to understand", she said to me.
"Now, pack her things and throw it outside the gate, immediately!" She yelled at the three guys. They took to action immediately.

"Please ma, please. I'm sorry, i didn't mean to that to Kazeem, it was a mistake. Please ma, Jhor, i have no where to go", i pleaded on my kneels, crying in pains.

"Lo si hell! (Go to hell!)"

I looked at her in surprise, crying.

"Yes! Go to hell! That's where you belong to!"

I still kept on pleading.

"Good, now you are done, push this thing outside", she said. She referred to him as "Thing."

Immediately, one of the guys came closer to me, he was pulling me outside the gate, recklessly.I still kept on pleading, in tears and pains.

"Take her out of here fast!" She yelled at the guy that was pulling me.

He pulled me out of the compound, and stood at the entrance of the gate. I sat on the ground crying in pains. 

"If Ibrahim, were to be alive all this won't be happening to me. Lord, why did you take him away, Lord why?. Kini mo shey, what did i do to deserve all this. Why is life treating me badly, my pains are just increasing day by day. Now i am scared of what would happen next. Lord, why? Why? Why? Why me ?......" I cried out.

She walked out with the two others guys.  I went on my kneels pleading again, she looked at me and hissed. She brought out a padlock and locked the gate.

"Je ma lo", she said to the guys.

They opened the door of the car for her to enter, one sat at the back seat with her, two sat at the front. The engine was started and they drove off immediately.

I sat on the ground again, crying in pains and regrets. I wished i had listened to my mom from the beginning, but it was too late already.

"What a life is this, what a life. Where do i go from here? I don't want to go to Joyce's house, no, i don't want to put my problems on them. My house is on rent, where do i go to? Where do i pack my things to?" I thought, crying.

Just then Stella walked closer to me, mocking me.

"(Laughing) hahahahaha, na you be this, abi no be you? I told you, you were going to see, when you and that dead husband of yours treated me that way on that day. I'm Stella, no one dares me and goes free. Enjoy your life the wise one, she said, laughing out loudly.

I looked at her in tears, i could'nt say a word, as she  kept on mocking me before she left.

After a while of sitting and crying i got up. I took my bag that contained my ATM card and some money. 

I stood crying, thinking how it will be, going back to my parent's house. I place i had not been for years.

"No, no, i can't go back", I gave up, crying.

"Lord, please come to my rescue i have no where to go, Lord."

I kept on thinking of where to go, i had no other place than my parents house. 

I stood for a while, crying before i summoned on courage  to move.

I boarded a cab at the bus-stop that came back to pack my things. When the driver was done packing my things, i sat in front, he started the engine and drove off.

As he was driving, i kept on remembering my past life, i couldn't hold back my tears.

In few hours, the driver arrived at my parents house.

He wanted to help me carrying my luggages in but i told him not to. I paid him, and he drove off.

I still couldn't hold back my tears for a second, i was filled with so much pains in me.

I knocked on the gate in fear, i noticed the gate was open. I stood still for a while in fear, before i summoned on courage to go in. I walked in, with fear in me. I was afraid of what my mom's reaction might be.



PART 93
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

When i got in i saw my mom seated on the chair in the living room. She was surprised to see me.

After some few minutes i spoke.

Good evening, mummy, i greeted her.

"You are welcome o", she said, still looking at me.

I sighed, and she sighed also.

"Sit down o", she said.

I need to pack my things in, I said fearfully.

"Which things?" She asked seriously.

I kept mute.

"Which things did you say you want to pack in?" 

My luagges, i said.

"Your luggage? What luggages?"

Mine, i replied her calmly.

"Ok, where did you say it is?" She asked.

Outside the gate.

"Let's go", she said.

She kept on looking at me as we walked quietly to the gate.

When she saw my luggages, she looked at me surprised. I bowed my face, looking down.

"What happened?" My mom asked me.

I couldn't say a word to her, i was ashamed of myself.

"I hope it's not what i am thinking o?" She asked, looking at me seriously. 

I still kept mute.

"Come inside o, come." 

I stood still.

"I said come inside", she said, as he held my arm and pulled me in.

"I just hope it's not what i am thinking at all o, i just hope it's not that."

I still kept mute. My face bowed, almost in tears.

"What happened? Are you not the one i am talking to? Ehnn", she asked angrily.

Tears began to flow down my face.

"Hmmmmmm, so he has now divorced you, ehnn", she said, in a low tone.

"Are you not the one i am talking to, ", she said, angrily.

I couldn't say a word, tears were just flowing down my face.

"So he had divorced you, now you are back to my house",she said, angrily the more in a more in low tone so people around won't hear.

He...di...didn't..div..orce..me... I managed to say, as i was crying.

"Shut up there! Who do you think you can decive? Me? Never!"

His...mom....sent....I couldn't complete my statement, as i was crying in pains.

"I warned you, i warned you, i warned you, didn't i? To you i was talking too much then. You went ahead to get pregnant for him so you will be able to get married to him. Up to the extent you even did a muslim marriage and you were still bold to invite me to come there, if not that i am your mother i wouldnt have shown up at all on that day. "

As she was talking angrily i kept on crying, flashing back to my past life when my mom was warning me then. I wished i had listened to her, i was full of regrets.

"I warned you as a mother, i talked and talked yet you still went on your own will."

"Now, he has divorced you and you are lying to me here. Just look at yourself, see the shame you have brought to yourself", she said, with her eyes filled with tears. She was pained.

My pains and tears increased the more.

"Even after what happened to you, thank God, God saved your life. You left without me even knowing, you changed your lines. I was so worried, we were all looking for you everywhere until we saw that stupid latter you wrote down. I can see how you truly love him. I'm sure he has taken a muslim as his wife now. Am sure you have learnt your lessons."

Mommy....i ...am... sorry. Please..., I pleaded as i was crying.

She kept mute with  her hands folded on her chest, looking at me.

I went on my kneels, pleading.

Mommy, please i am sorry, i am sorry. Am sorry.....i pleaded, crying.

"There is no way i can allow you come back to my house. You disobeyed me even upon how i kept on talking to you. You can't bring shame to me here. Your father gave you a house, go there and stay."

It's on rent, i can't go there. Mommy, please. I am sorry for not listening to you, it's one of the biggest mistake in life i am still regretting till now. Mommy, please forgive me. It was my fault. Please, forgive me, i pleaded on my kneels, crying in pains and regrets.

My dad walked out, he was surprised to see me.

My mom told him everything, he sighed and shook his head in pity. He pleaded on my mom to let me stay, that it wasn't my fault, that  i never knew it was going to happen that way.

"Didn't i warn i? Didn't i?" She said to my dad.

"When a mother is talking she has seen a lot o, a lot! Go back o, you are not staying here o!" She said to me, angrily.

I couldn't stop crying as i was pleading on her to forgive me. My dad still kept on pleading on her to forgive me.

"Are you not still the cause of what has happened also?" My mom said to my dad, angrily.

"Me?" My dad asked her.

"Yes you! When i was talking then, did you say anything to her?" She asked my dad.

"Don't let my anger rise! You are not God to predict what will happen, what if she married someone else and something worse had happened to her now. Don't just annoy me", he said angrily to my mom.

"Just look at yourself! Look at what you are saying. Foolish man."

"Me foolish?" My dad said.

"Yes! Just look at what you are saying."

They started yelling at each other, angrily.

I stood up, still crying.

Mommy... Please....I pleaded.

Before, i knew it they broke into a fight. I tried to separate them but i had no strength to. I had lost so much strength, due to what i was passing through at that time. My two siblings were in school there was no one to separate them.  My mom was  screaming as she and my dad were fighting. People ran into our compound to separate them. Two men held my dad, two women held my mom, they were all pleading, yet my mom and my dad were still throwing insults at each other.

I stood still crying.

"God why? Why? Why? Why all this happening, Lord. They are qurelling now just because of me, Lord why? What kind of life is mine, Lord? Lord why are all this happening to me and you are allive watching me. If Ibrahim were to be alive all this won't be happening, and you took his life after he had given his life to you, Lord why? Am i cursed?"

They still kept on throwing insults at each other. It was like they even forgot i was still there.

I couldn't stand to watch my parent fight because of me.  I walked outside the gate, i stood crying.

"Where do i start from? I am even scared of what is next to happen, because its glearing that my pains are just meant to be increasing everyday", i thought.

I still stood still thinking, and crying.

"Where do i begin from?" I asked myself as i raised one of my box that was on the floor.

I couldn't stop crying.



PART 94
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

I left my parents house on that day, November 12, 2018. I checked into an hotel. I paid for a week.

After all my luggages had been packed in, i sat on the bed crying and flashing back.

I flashed back......
To the day we first met. The day my mom sent him away. The day i saw him, when he pleaded and i went to his house. The day we got married, when my mom wasn't happy. The day we had Johnson. The day  robbers broke in and shot me. The day he brought Aliya in and i had to leave. The day he came back begging. All what is mom did to me, an the day i saw him last. 

I was filled with so much pains and tears.

I walked round the hotel room crying, looking at Ibrahim and Johnson's picture on my phone.

"What a great mistake i made. If I knew mom i would have listened to you, i am sorry. Lord, have mercy on me for not listening to my mom. Lord Jesus have mercy on me. I never knew religion was going to be a big issue. I thought i will be able to fight trough, but i couldn't, i lost it. Now, i can't even get to see my son. Ibrahim, why did you have to leave me why? Why did death have to take you away from me, why?" I said in my mind, as i cried out bitterly in pains.

You know that moment when you are filled with so much pains and regrets and you wish you could just change back the hands of time, that was the way i was  feeling. I wished i could rectify my mistakes, i wished i could change things .

I had no one to turn to. Ibrahim i had was gone, my mom didn't accept me back, and i didn't want to disturb Joyce and Abel with my problems, they had theirs they were facing also. There  was no one to console me, only me to myself.

In the evening, i ordered for food and it was brought to me, but i couldn't eat. I laid down on the bed, still crying in regrets and in pains.

Do you know the kind of pains i was feeling, who i loved with all of me was gone, my son was taken away, i couldn't see him.  Ibrahim's mom sent me away, even my own mother didn't accept me back. I didn't even know where to begin from again.

"Commit suicide, commit suicide", my mind kept on telling me.

"Fight, don't give up. Fight till you win and get back your son", another part of me was telling me.

"Even though i get my son back, i can never still be happy because Ibrahim is gone", i said in my mind, as i was crying.

I couldn't stop crying everyday.

Two weeks later, when i noticed i had spent a lot paying for the hotel room, i decided go in search for an accommodation.

I got out of the hotel after two weeks, to go search for an agent. 

I had to trek as i had no car, my cars were in Ibrahim's house, his mom had locked up.

After a while of searching, i remembered i still had the agent number that brought  those couple to rent my house. I took my phone and dialed his number, i told him i was in search of a self contain. I told him the area in Lagos i wanted, he told me he would get back to me. I stopped a bike that took me back to the hotel.

Two days later, he told me he had found one. I went there to see the apartment and i paid for it instantly.

That night i laid down on my bed crying.

"I have to be strong now, i have to be", i kept on telling myself, as i kept on crying, still in pains.

The next morning, i set out to leave.

"It's time to be strong", i said to myself, as tears rolled down my face.

Tears couldn't stop rolling down my face, as i was rolling my boxes out of the hotel room.



PART 95
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

When i got to the apartment, i got someone to clean the apartment, before my luggages were packed in by the help of a neighbor.

I sat down on the floor in the house, crying.

Days kept on going and going, i still couldn't be myself, i couldn't be strong.

I still missed Ibrahim and Johnson so much. 
Life couldn't just be the same again, no matter how hard i tried.

I didn't stop praying for God to touch her heart to bring back my son.

To cut my long story short......

As the year 2018, was running to an end i made up my mind to be strong, and start all over again.

Jan 11 2019, was when i resumed going back to my boutique.

One afternoon, i was in my boutique. I was sitting, when a lady and guy were selecting what they wanted to get.

"Baby, this shoe is lovely, get it", the guy said, to the lady.

My mind flashed back to Ibrahim,how he used to call me 'baby'. I flashed back to the times we do go out together to have fun, tears rolled down my eyes, i felt the pains again.

One evening, i got home my mind flashed to Bayo, i decided to call him.
It rang at first he didn't pick up, the second time he did. I got his number from where i wrote it in my dairy after deleting it.

Bayo: Hello.

Me: Hello.

Bayo: Good evening. You remembered me today, that's nice. 

Me: Yeah, when you never bothered to call to know how i am doing.

Bayo:  Please, don't make me feel like a bad person. You know why, you understand. 

Me: it's okay.

Bayo: Yeah, you know what let me call you back now.

Me: Don't worry.

He hanged up and called me back.

Bayo: How are you doing? How is your husband and your son?

Me: Fine, what about you also?

Bayo: I'm good by the grace of God.

Me: okay.

Bayo: I am sorry for not calling to check on you for a long time, but i want you to know that you will forever remain one of the most important person in my life after my mom. I tell people about you. You saved my life, i am still grateful and i will forever be. 

(Tears rolled down my eyes the more.)

Bayo: Hello, hello...Are you there?

Me: Yeah, i am.

Bayo: hmmm, alright. 

Me: forgive me for all that happened then, i am sorry.

Bayo: No, no, dear. You didn't hurt me ok.  God made things to me happen that way and, i am happy it all turned around to be good for both of us. I'm happy you got back to your husband and, am also happy you saved my life.

(I sighed, as i flashed back to the good time Bayo and i shared together. My tears couldn't stop flowing down my face.)

Me: Yeah, thank God too.

Bayo: Yeah, glory be to God. I'm also happy you called at the right time.

Me: Really?

Bayo: Yes, i have a great news.

Me: Tell me.

Bayo: I will be getting married on the 19 of January, next week.

Me: Wow, really?

Bayo: Yeah.

Me: Wow, i am so happy for you, Bayo.

Bayo: Yeah, all glory to God. If you can make it i will be so happy.

Me: Where is the wedding taking place?

Bayo: Here in lekki. I will send the venue to you via WhatsApp.

Me: Alright, i will be there. I am happy for you.

Bayo: Yeah, thanks. I can't wait to see you there.

Me: I will be there.

Bayo: I'm expecting you?

Me: Sure.

Bayo: My wife to be is here, would you love to speak to her?

Me: Wow, yeah.

I spoke to her on the phone. She was so nice. She thanked me for saving Bayo's life. We talked for a while before she gave the phone to Bayo.

Bayo: What about my boy , Johnson? Let me speak to him na?

Me: hmmmmm, he isn't here now. He is with with grandparents.

Bayo: Oh! It will be good if you can come with him, o.

Me: I may.

Bayo: Not you may o, you must.

Me: Alright o.

Bayo: Yes o.

Me: Yeah.

Bayo: Okay na. Take very good care of yourself and, keep on looking beautiful.

Me: Thanks, you too.

Bayo: Yeah, bye now.

Me: Bye...

Bayo: Bye.

He hanged up.

I laid down crying.

Jan 19, 2019, i attended Bayo's weeding. The weeding was a great one. His wife is a beautiful lady.  Younger than i am, in her early 20s, like 23 or 24. 

After the wedding, i met with he and his wife. They appreciated me for coming. Bayo, asked me about my husband . He also asked me why i didn't bring Johnson. I forced a wide smile on my face, and told him we will talk later, he  said ok.  He thanked me again for saving his life and, he hugged me happily.

When i got home that day, i sat on the floor crying. I took my phone, looking at Ibrahim's picture. My pains increased the more.

Ibrahim, i miss you so much. I miss you, Ibrahim, i said, as i was crying.

To cut my story short ......

February 2, 2019.

I was in my boutique, i was feeling so dizzy so i decided to go home.
As i stepped out, i saw what shocked me.

Jesus!!!!!........ I screamed out loudly.

I started shevring.

Blood of Jesus! Don't come closer to me, i said to the man that was walking closer to me.

"Am i dead" , i thought to myself, in fear

I couldn't believe who my eyes were seeing in front of me.


PART 96
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

The person at my front was looking tall and skinny. 

"Baby", he said.

He took a step walking closer to me.

Blood of Jesus! Don't come near me! You are dead! I said in fear.

"Baby, i know that's what you think, but i am not dead."

Who are you? I asked.

"Baby, it's me. It's me Ibrahim. It's me Ibrahim, your husband."

No, no. I rebuke you in Jesus name. Get away from me! I screamed out.

My employees and other people were out, watching.

"Baby, it's me please. I am not dead. I'm the one."

I couldn't believe.
As he was walking closer to me i was walking backward, in fear. When he got a bit closer to me, i was about to take to my heels when he held me.

Haaaaaaaaaa! I screamed. Leave me alone! Haaaaaaaaaa, i screamed, as he was holding my two hands.

People, were telling him to leave me alone.

My employees who know him and didn't know he was dead were shouting.. "that's her husband."

"Why are you shouting? Why? I'm the one. Baby, it's me, please...." Tears were rolling down his face.

Ibra...him...i said calmy, looking at his face, as tears were rolling down my face.

"Yes, baby, i am the one. It's me."

Ibrahim, i said again, as i was looking at him from up to down.

"Baby, it's me. It's me Ibrahim. Yes, me your husband."

Ibrahim....I said again, and we both hugged each other, crying.

"If this a dream i don't want to ever wake up, and if i am dead i don't want to ever wake up", i said in my mind, as i was hugging Ibrahim and crying.

I released myself from him, and placed my two hands on his cheek.

What happened to you? I asked him, as tears were flowing down my face.

"It's a long story."

Long story? That i didn't see or hear from you for almost six month, i said to him, crying.

"Baby, it's a long story. We will talk about that when i get home."

Ibrahim, what happened? You left me alone, you left me alone, why? I said, as uncontrollable tears kept on rolling down in face.

"I will tell you all when we get home. I went home  the gate was locked so i came down here, hoping to see you, Thank God, i did."

Ibrahim, i called his name again, looking at him, in tears.

"Where is our son?" 

I sighed.

We will talk about that when we get home.

He held my two arms with his hands....
"Don't tell me our son is dead."

Ibrahim, he isn't dead.

"Oh Thank you Jesus", he said.

I couldn't stop crying, looking at me.

"Please, it's ok don't cry. Let's go home."

He used his hand to whip my tears.

I placed my head on his chest, and he held me with his hands on my back.

Why did you leave me, why? I missed you so much. I missed you, Ibrahim.

"Baby, i missed you too. You were all that was on mind."

Thank God, you are alive. You are alive, i said, crying.

"Yes, i am alive. Don't cry please, let's go home."

Alright, ok ... i said, as i raised up my head from his chest.

As we were walking together.....

"Where is your car?" 

Ibrahim, we will talk about that when we get home.

"What happened?" He asked, looking at me, seriously.

I will tell you when we get home, i said.

I stopped a bike and told the bike man to ride us to a bus-stop .

Ibrahim, looked at me surprised.

"Shey, awon meji o lo ni?" (Is it the two of you that are going) the bike rider asked.

I nodded my head. 

"N200, ni o", the bike rider said.

I nodded my head.

"But, the direction you told him to ride us to isn't  the way to our house", he said.

I sighed.
I will tell you all when we get home, i said.

The bike rider got angry, and rode away.

"This is really serious", he said.

I looked at him, and i sighed, as i flashed back to the day his mom sent me out of the house.

"I don't believe you, where is our son? Where is Ahmed?"

He is fine. He is with your parents.

"My parents?"

I nodded my head.

I came closer to him and hugged him.

You don't know how happy i am to see you again, i said.

"You don't also know how glad i am to see you again, even when i thought i wasn't going to ever see you again."

Ibrahim, please don't talk like that, please. 

He held me tighter to himself.

I love you, and i missed you so much.

"Baby, i love you, and i missed you so much too."

Please, promise me one thing, please.

"Mention, it baby."

Please, promise me you are not going to ever leave me again, i said, as tears were rolling down my face.

He sighed.

Promise me, please.

He kept mute, still holding me tightly to himself. Tears began to roll down his face again.

I raised up my face to look at him.

"Ibrahim, please, promise me you not going to ever leave me again, please. I love you", uncontrollable tears kept rolling down my face.

"I promise", he said calmy.

Dear, are you sure?

He kept mute.

Please, answer me, answer me, i said, crying.

"Yes, i am sure."

We both kissed each other, in tears.



PART 97
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

This where i am living, i said to Ibrahim.

"Why? What happened? Why?" He asked, looking all around.

I sighed.

We will talk about later. Ibrahim, tell me, what happened to you? 

He sighed.

"What happened to you also?" He asked me, looking into my eyes.

So you don't want to tell me what happened to you, Ibrahim. Do you know all i went through because i thought you were dead? You look so different. What happened to you is more important than what happened to me, so tell me.

He shook his head, still maintaining eye contact.

"I love you so much and i missed you so much", Ibrahim said.

I love you so much too, dear. You don't know how joyful i am to see you again, you don't.

"I know, baby."

Please, Ibrahim, promise me you not going to leave me again, please, i said, as i flashed back. Tears were rolling down my face.

He used his hand to whip the tears that were rolling down my face.

Promise me please, i said.

He kept mute, still looking in my eyes.

You scaring me now.

"How?" Ibrahim asked.

You are not saying anything, you are making me scared.

"I am sorry. I won't leave you again."

Promise me?

"I promise."

"Baby", he called me.

Dear, i replied him.

"What happened when i was away. Why are you here, and where did you say our son is?"

I told you he is with your parents, i said.

"Since when?"

Since August, last year.

"Why?"

I kept mute. I flashed back to the last time i saw Johnson.

"And when was the last time you saw our son?" He asked seriously, trying to figure out what happened.

I sighed.

"Talk to me, now."

We will talk about that later. Tell me what happened to you?

"Where is your phone?"

My phone?

"Yes, your phone."

I took my phone from my bag, giving him the phone.

"Call my mom", he said.

I stood still looking at him. 

"You said Ahmed is with her, right?"

I nodded my head.

"So call her."

I dialed his mom's number five times, she didn't pick up.

He took the phone from me.

"Baby, what happened? Tell me now."

He dialed his mom's number twice she didn't pick up. He dialed his dad's number, it said not reachable.

Where is your phone? I asked him.

He looked at me, and focused on my phone.

"Tell me what happened", he said.

Your mom took Johnson away, i said, as tears were rolling down my face.

"I know", he said.

How? I asked.

"I knew it, when you told me Ahmed is with her."

He dialed his mom's number twice again, she didn't answer. 

"How did it happen?" He asked.

Two months after when we didn't see you, your mom came with your elder sister to our house.

"My elder sister?"

I nodded my head, in tears as i flashed back.

"And what happened?"

She accused me that i was the one who killed you.

"How? When everyone thought i died in the fire accident. Althouh, i had left before that accident took place.

She said you died because, i made you convert into my own religion.

He sighed.

Your mom also acussed me too. Your sister slapped me.

"Farida, slapped you? He asked, in surprise.

I nodded my head, in tears.

She slapped me three times or so. When i couldn't control my anger i fought her. She tore my cloth. I went into our room to change, before i came out they had forced Johnson into the car to go with them. I ran after her car but i couldn't meet up with them. I went back to take my car key, to follow them up with my car. When i didn't see any trace of her car, i increased the speed, i was driving recklessly. I was arrested for driving recklessly.

"You were what!" He asked, surprised.

I was detained in the cell, i spent the night in the cell on that day, i said, as tears flowed down my eyes.

He pulled me closer to himself, and placed my head on his chest, petting me.

"I am sorry", he said, his eyes were filled with tears.

Ibrahim, what happened to you? What happened? I asked him, as i cried out.

He sighed.

Tell me, what happened? Won't you tell me.

"I will", he said, as he was petting me.

After about thirty minutes, he sat on the floor, and placed my head on his laps, petting me without saying a word. I had no chair in my sitting room.

Ibrahim, please i am begging you, tell me what happened to you?

"Baby, he said and sighed. I will tell you what happened."

Then tell me now.

"I will later", he said.

Are you sure.

He nodded his head.
"I'm sure", Ibrahim said.

After about 10mintues, he dialed his mom's number again she didn't pick up.

Ibrahim, what happened to your phone? I asked him.

"I said i will tell you later."

Please, tell me now.

"Baby, i am very hungry."

What do you want to eat? 

He looked at me.

"Have you been eating at all?"Ibrahim asked.

I sighed.

How do you expect me to be eatinh well, when i thought you were dead, and Johnson was taken away. Tears rolled down my face.

"I don't like the way you look at all."

He got up and held my hands.

"Baby, our son will be back by tomorrow. Please, don't cry, i don't like to see you cry at all.

I prepared food, and served it in the same plate for us to eat.

I missed those times, i said, as we were eating.

"Me too", Ibrahim said.

We both smiled at each other.

After we were done eating.....

"So tell me now, why did you leave our house?" Ibrahim asked me.

I will tell you about that later, first i want you to have a bath.

"I will, but i have nothing to change into now."

I smiled.

Come to the room, i said, and got up.

He got up and followed me.

Here are some of your clothes, i said, as i opened my wardrobe. 

He looked at the clothes.

Remember that box? I asked, pointing to a box in the room

"Yes, i do. I folded my clothes in it when i was about to travel, but i later changed my mind not to take it along."

Yeah, i hanged your clothes here to remember you every day, when i thought you were gone.

He sighed.

"Am here now."

Tell me what happened?

"Tell me what happened, that you left our house?"

I sighed.

I felt ashamed to tell him, because of what Kazeem did to me, i didn't know how to say it to him.

"What happened?" Ibrahim asked.

We will talk about that later.

"No, now."

I kept mute. He kept on looking at me seriously, waiting for me to speak.

Your mom sent me out of the house. 

"My mom sent you away from our own house?" 

I nodded my head.

Three guys came with her on that day, they thew my things out. One of the boxes they threw out on that day, contained your clothes, that's why your clothes are here, i said. My eyes were filled with tears.

"What happened that my mom did that to you?"

Kazeem..... I said.

"What about Kazeem?" 

Kazeem, came to our house five months after we all thought you were dead.

"He came five months later."

I nodded my head.

He said he wasn't in Lagos the time he heard what happened to you. He called me when he was back, and the next day he came.

I kept mute, crying, as i flashed back to that night.

"And what happened?" Ibrahim asked.

I kept mute, still crying.

He walked closer to me.

"Don't cry, i am here now. Tell me what happened."

I told him how it all started from when kazeem came, and how he left that night.

"Kazeem had sex with you! My own brother!" He yelled at me angrily.

It's not like that. I'm sorry.

"Will you shut up!" He yelled at me.

Ibra..him...I said, crying.

"Shut up, and don't call my name there.  You called Kazeem in because you wanted that night, right! Why would a lady call a man at that hour into her room, putting on such, no tell me! I said tell me!" He yelled at me in a great anger.

I am sorry, please. I am sorry, it wasn't my fault. I forgot i was on such.

"Look! If you know what's good for yourself, just don't come closer to me! If you do you will hate me!" He yelled at me in a great anger. 

I stood still where i was, pleading.

He sat on my bed. He bowed his head, with his two hands on his head.

"Oh Jesus why? Jesus why? Why did you let that happen, why?" He said, sobbing.

He was so pained. I understand him, no man would heear what happened between his wife and his cousin, and won't be pained. 

"Who knows what else would have happened again when i was away", he said.

So you don't trust me anymore, so you don't? I asked him, crying.

He raised up his head...

"I don't trust you again", he said.

His statement hit me in my heart, i felt so much hurt.

I cried out the more in pains, regretting why i called Kazeem in that night.


PART 98
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

I'm telling you the   truth. Do you think if i want to lie to know, i would have told you this?. Have i ever lied to you? I asked him, as i was crying.

If i wanted Kazeem, do you think i would have cut him with a knife on that day?

You are taking this too far, Kazeem never had sex with me!

"But he saw your body, didn't he?" He asked me angrily.

He kept mute, looking at me as i was crying.

After a while he got up from the bed and walked closer to me.

"Baby", he called me.

I didn't say a word.

"Baby, i am sorry", he said, with a sad voice.

I  did not say a word.

"Baby, please, i am sorry. I did not know what came over me. Please, i am sorry."

He knelt down, closer to me.

"Baby, please i just felt so bad. I never believed Kazeem could do such. "

"Please, forgive me. I just felt.....
I'm sorry, please."

"Baby, please, answer me."

"Please, i am sorry for making you feel bad. I'm sorry, i love you. I understand all you went through, i know it  wasn't your fault. Baby, i am sorry. Please, forgive me."

He lifted me up to himself, pleading and petting me.

After a while, we settled it. 

One  hours   later.

Tell me what happened to you, now.

He sighed.

"On the 29th, of June 2018", he said, looking at me.

Yes, what happened.

He kept mute, still looking at me.

Won't you tell me?

"I will", he said.

Then do now.

"I will tell you later,. I want to sleep now."

No, you must tell me now. You beginning to make me suspect a lot of things in my mind right now.

"Baby, what are you suspecting?"

You traveled to go meet another lady, right? 

"C' mon! You know i never did such, and i can never do such."

Then what happened, Ibrahim.

"Relax, i will tell you."

I should relax, Ibrahim.

"Yes."

I'm relaxing.

He kept mute.

Won't you tell me?

"Take it easy, please."

I should take it easy?

"Yes, it's a long story."

I looked at him seriously.

Tell me what happened, dear.

He sighed.

" I was robbed and kidnapped when i got there."

Jesus! O my God! How? How did it happen? I asked as tears rolled down eyes.

"It's a long story. We were up to four that were taken away that day. After some months some policemen traced where we were, and that's how we got released. The most important thing is that you should be happy i am here now" Ibrahim said.

"So all that happened to you? How could people be so wicked, why why?", I asked as i cried.

He started petting me not to cry.

I went on my kneels, crying and thanking God for saving my husband's life.

An hour later.

"I said don't cry. We are going to get back our son first thing tomorrow." 

But, i can't go with you. Your mom doesn't want to see me. I told you how she treated me when i went for Johnson.

"I don't know why my mom would me so mean up to that extent. You are going with me, ok?"

No, just bring back Johnson, i have not seen our son in months. I can't go with you, i know what i am saying.

"We are going together. We will get back our son tommorow and go back to our house."

I miss Johnson so much, i said, as tears were rolling down my face.

"By the grace of God, we will both see him tomorrow. Don't cry, please."

I won't, i won't.

"And what about our cars?"

In our house. She only sent me packing with my lauggaes.

"It's well. I am sorry for all that happened to you. I am so sorry."

I looked at him, crying.

"Please, don't cry. Please. I love you, I love you." Ibrahim said.

 I love you, and am ready to stay with you till the very end, i said.

"You are a strong woman indeed. I'm so happy to have you in my life. No other woman could have been better than you are here on earth."

 I love you so much also. I could never have loved any man here on earth like the way i love you. Am so happy  God saved your life, i said, as tears were rolling down my face.

We hugged each other, in tears.

"Ibrahim, promise me again that you will never leave me again."

He didn't say a word.

The next morning, we went to his parents house.

"Now we are here, i want you to go knock on the gate first. I will stay behind watching."

Ibrahim, what are you saying? Do you know what you are saying at all? I can't. Go i will stay behind instead.

"Baby, i am here ok. Will you listen to me, i said go first.

He persuade me to go, and he stayed behind.

My heart was beating hard, as i was about to knock on the gate.
I turned to look back at, Ibrahim.

He gave me a look saying i should knock on the gate.

I knocked once, no one answered. I turned to look at Ibrahim. I knocked again and the gate was opened.

"Good morning, ma", the gateman said.

The gateman was different from the other one.

Good morning. I am here to see Alajah, i said, and turned back to look at Ibrahim.

"Wetin be your name?"

I told him.

"Just wait, make i go tell am o."

Alright, i said.

In less than five minutes, his mom was out.

"Iwo!(You!) Didn't i warn you never to come here again! "

'paaaaaah', she slapped me hard on my face.

'Haaaaa', i screamed in pains.

I placed my hand on my cheek she slapped me, tears were rolling down my face.

She  was looking at me with so much anger.
I turned back to see Ibrahim coming fastly.



PART 99
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

Her eyes were on me angrily, that she didn't even notice Ibrahim was coming.

She hissed at me angrily. She was about to go in when she became shocked, her phone fell off her hand, and the screen got smashed on the ground.

She stood still  looking at Ibrahim who was coming closer, her mouth was wide open in shock.
Just then the house maid walked out, she was shocked to see him.

"Ghost! Haaaaaaaa!" , The maid screamed out, and ran inside.

His mom stood still in shock, looking at Ibrahim.

Ibrahim, came closer to me, petting me.

"Ibra....him..." His mom said, in a terrified voice.

Ibrahim, looked at her without saying a word.

"Ibra..him...", She called his name again.

He didn't say a word to her.

"Omo mi", she said.

"Omo mi (my child)", she said, walking closer to Ibrahim, slowly.

She touched his hand, in fear. 

"Omi mi", she said with her eyes filled with tears.

His mom hugged him.

"Omoo..........mi oooooooooo!", She screamed out, hugging him. Tears were rolling down her face.

The house maid walked out.

"Haaaaaaaa! Oga ko ku o! (Oga, did not die o!) Haaaaaaaa", the gateman said jumping up in joy.

"Haaaaaaaa! Oga, ko ku! Haaaaaaaa! Allahamdullia!!" The maid, said.

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy o!" The maid yelled, running in to call Ibrahim's dad.

"Mommy, mi o ku o (I didn't die o)" , Ibrahim said to his mom.

"Thanks to Almighty Allah", she said, crying as she was still hugging him.

People weren't gathered around, because it's a quite area.

We all walked in, his dad and the house maid were walking out of the house.

His dad was shocked on seeing him.

"Ibrahim", he called out his name, still in shock.

The gateman stood still, he folded his hand, watching.

My mind was desperately on seeing my son. 
I ran into the house, when i got in to the sitting room i didn't see anyone, i stood still looking all around.

"Mommy......!!!!!"

I turned to see Johnson.

He was sitting on the dining chair, he pushed the food he was eating away, and ran towards me.

I wanted to call his name, but it was like my voice was siezed. Tears were rolling down my face. I spread my hands wide open, Johnson ran up to me, and i carried him.

"Mommy, mommy, mommy", Johnson called me, crying as i was carried him.

Johnson, had lost so much weight.

I sat on floor, holding him tight to myself, crying.

Son, son, son, i said crying.

Thank you Jesus, thank you Lord, thank you father, i said.

We were both crying.

After six months of not seeing my son, no one could feel my joy that day 3rd of February, 2019.

After a while, we got up and sat on the chair.

"Mommy, you are here today" Johnson said, as tears were flowing down his face.

Yes son, i am here today. Don't cry son, don't cry, i said, whipping his tears.

He used his hands  to whip my tears that were flowing down my face.

"Mommy why didn't you come since?" Johnson said, as he was still crying.

Son, i am sorry. I tried my best. I tried  many times but grandmother sent me away. I came for you, but she didn't allow me to come in."

 "Mommy, i am not  staying here again. I don't like here at all. Everyday, i do go to mosque after school. I'm not staying here again", Johnson said.

Yes, you won't stay here again, you won't. We are going home together, ok. Don't cry again, ok", i said, petting him.

Johnson, i called his name.

"Mommy", he replied.

Johnson, your daddy is alive, i said.

"My daddy?" He said in surprise.

Yes, your daddy. Daddy, is alive.

"Mommy, where is he?" He asked me, still surprised.

He is outside, i said.

He wanted to go outside, but i stopped him.

Wait, they will come in soon, you will see your daddy, ok.

He looked at me in surprise.

After some few minutes, Ibrahim's dad walked in.

"Haa, welcome oko mi", he said happily to me.

I went on my kneels to greet him, he replied me well.

"Allah, is great indeed", his dad happily said.

I smiled.

"When we all thought, Ibrahim was dead. Ha! Allahamdullia."

Thank God, i said, smiling.
 
"Ehehnn, where have you been? Iyawo mi, o sor fun mi pe..... .

His phone started ringing. 

"I am coming", he said.

He answered the call, telling the person on the phone that is son is alive.

"Ehhen, my wife told me you left Ahmed with us because you are busy. What have you been doing? I called you many times but it wasn't reachable."

I was surprised she told him such.

He showed me his phone, showing the number of times he had been calling my number.

Daddy, old number mi. (That's my old number) I changed my number since.

"Why?" He asked.

His phone started ringing. He answered the calling telling the person his son didn't die he his alive.

"We will talk later", he said.

Okay, daddy, i said.

He was calling people, telling them is son is alive.

The house maid came to call him, and he went outside with her.

I heard different people voices outside, rejoicing.

After a while they all came in, with three other people.

"Da...ddy!!!!" Johnson shouted.

"My son!!" Ibrahim yelled, happily. 

He lifted him up, happily.

"Am so happy to see you again", Ibrahim said.

"Daddy, i am happy too. What happened to you since?"

"I will tell you later, ok."

"Daddy, daddy", Johnson said, happily.

"Ahmed", he said happily.

They both sat down, talking to each other happily.

The mom told the house maid not to worry, that she would  cook for her son herself.

When the food was ready she served for everyone, expect me. Ibrahim, kept on looking at her. He gave his food to me, i shook my head, that he should not worry.

"Won't you serve for her?" His dad asked  his wife.

"Haa, mo ti gba gbe jare. Jhor, e ma bi nu o. (I have forgotten. Please, forgive me.) She said.

She came with another food in plate, and Ibrahim took it from her.

People kept on coming in to celebrate.

Some hours later.

I was sitting in the varandah with Johnson, when someone drove a car in. When i saw Kazeem alighted from the car my heart started beating fast.

Good evening, i greeted him.

"Good evening", he replied.

"Ahmed, big boy. How are you doing?"

"I'm doing good", he replied him.

I couldn't look at his face.

I'm sorry for what  happened the other time, i said to him.

He sighed.

"I'm sorry also", he said, and hugged me.

"I heard what happened, i heard my cousin his alive. All thanks to Almighty Allah", he said.

I nodded my head smiling.

"Yeah", he said and walked in.

A while after, Johnson said...

"Mommy, let's go inside."

Ok, let's go in, son, i said.

We both went in.

I noticed Ibrahim wasn't replying Kazeem well. He was acting strangly to him.

"Brother mi, ki lo shele na?" (My brother, what's happening na?) Kazeem asked Ibrahim.

He told Kazeem, he was just tired.

"Let's go to the room", Ibrahim said, to Johnson and i.

Kazeem, looked at Ibrahim, surprised.

He held my hand, and carried Johnson , walking to the room.

We got to the room and sat on the bed.

"I want you to stay away from Kazeem, ok! I must not see you close to him. Have you heard me?" He warned me seriously.

I nodded my head.

"Good", he said.

"Daddy, why?" Johnson asked.

He didn't say a word.

A while after his mom called him. He persuade me to follow him but i didn't.

After, his dad called me, i came downstairs with Johnson.

They kept on talking happily, Kazeem was with us also. I guess his dad forgot what he asked me earlier.

The next morning after breakfast, we all sat down in the sitting room.

"Mommy, mo binu o. I am angry, i just decided to keep quite yesterday", Ibrahim said to his mom.

"Ha, ha, ha, oko mi, kini mo shey? (My heart, what did i do?) His mom asked, looking at him, with all seriousness.

"Daddy, i know you didn't know all that was happening, because you are always travelling", he said to his dad.

"What happened?" His dad asked, seriously.

He sighed.

"Mommy, when you all thought i was dead, what did you do to my wife and son, my family?"

His dad faced his wife.

"Family, bawo? (Family, how?)" His mom asked.

"Yes, what did you do to my wife and son?" He asked.

She kept mute, looking at me angrily.

"What did you do to them?" His dad asked her.

She hissed, angrily.

"So is that the issue now?" She asked angrily.

"What did you do?" His dad asked her.

She didn't say a word.

As Ibrahim was narrating what she did, his dad kept on looking at her, surprisingly.

"So you did all that!" His dad yelled at her.

"Yes, i did all that!", She said boldly and angrily.

The started yelling at each other angrily.

"Do you know this stupid girl here converted our into a christian." 

His dad looked at me, surprised.

"It is a lie!" His dad yelled.

"Oh! Because, i didn't tell you. I didn't want anything that will bother you, because of what the doctor said about your health, that's why i didn't tell you. Now you see!"

His dad looked at me angrily. Fear gripped me.

"So you converted my son into a christian?" He yelled at me angrily.

His mom was nodding her head, like "you will see."

"Don't open that mouth of yours to tell me you are now a Christian" his dad yelled at Ibrahim.

Ibrahim, got up angrily.

"Yes dad. I am now a christian", he said, angrily.

"What!!" His dad yelled.

"Is something wrong with your head?" His dad yelled at him again.

"Dad, please. I have the right to choose the religion i want", Ibrahim said, angrily.

"Will you shut up there! Have you forgotten who you are. Have you forgotten you are from a muslim background!" His mom yelled at Ibrahim.

"I can now see you are not okay any longer", his dad said with so much anger.

"Dad please, do not talk to me like i am a kid. I am man, i choose Christianity, my wife didn't force me to. Jesus saved me if not i would have been dead long before, you all thought i was gone", Ibrahim, angrily said.

"Will you shut up! If you dare mention that name again....." His dad said.

"If i dare, what would happen? Tell me dad, what would happen?"

"Have you forgotten you are talking to your father, you this boy!" His mom yelled at him.

His dad faced me, yelling at me angrily.

"Can you now see! Ibrahim, has never spoken to us this way. Can you now see is this stupid girl that converted him into a christian that is the cause of all this. It was when Ibrahim converted into a christian that he travelled and got kidnapped. Since, he was a muslim he had been traveling o, noting happened. This witch here has bitwched him", his mom said to Ibrahim's dad who was still yelling at me angrily.

Tears were flowing down my eyes, i could'nt hold my tears back.

"Enough of all this! I won't let anyone of you to keep on insulting my own wife!"

His parents looked at him, surprisingly.

"You had better have sense. You should be happy this killer here didn't succeed in killing you.  She almost wanted to kill your elder sister and Kazeem also."

Ibrahim, turned to look at Kazeem angrily.

"I told you i was kidnapped mom! How would you say my own wife was the one who wanted to kill me?"

"Will you shut up there. What do you know! I don't blame you sha, this witch here has bitwched you. Ha! may Almighty Allah have mercy on you." 

Kazeem, was pleading for his parents to calm down.

"Kazeem, talk to your brother, i said talk to him o because I don't know what has come over him. He must covert into a muslim! He must! He must o!" His mom said to Kazeem.

"Mommy, e jhor, e suru( mommy, please, take it easy.)" Kazeem pleaded.

His mom faced me yelling at me. His dad  was yelling at him. Kazeem, was pleading.

Ibrahim, didn't take it lightly with his parents at all, he yelled back at them, angrily.

I couldn't say a word, i just kept on crying.

"I can't take this anymore, i am leaving and don't expect me here again!" Ibrahim yelled at his parents, with so much anger.

"Where are our cars? Where is the key to my house?" He asked his parents, angrily as he was panting.

"So you want to beat me now?" His mom asked.

"Do not give him any key!" His dad instructed his mom.

"Oh! I see! You think that will stop me right!"

He walked up angrily, after some few minutes he came back.

"Let's go", he said to Johnson and i.

"Where do you think you are going to ?" His mom yelled at him angrily.

"What are you still waiting for? I said let's go now", Ibrahim yelled at me .

I got up, holding Johnson's hand.

"He wants to leave, let him go! He will come back here!" His dad said, with so much anger in him.

We all walked out.

He opened his dad car with the key.

"What are you waiting for? Get in!" He yelled at me.

Johnson, got into the car quickly.

But, this is your dad's car, i said, as tears were still rolling down my face.

"You heard me well, i said get in."

I did as he said.

"Open that gate now" he yelled at the gateman.

He drove out angrily on a high speed.

"Please, reduce the speed at which you are driving, please, i pleaded, but he didn't.

He didn't say a word till will almost approached our house.

Johnson, was jubilating.

"Yes! This is our house! Yes!" Johnson, yelled happily.

"You said she looked the gate with a padlock?" Ibrahim asked me.

I nodded my head.

"I will get someone to cut off that when we get there", he said.

When we approached, we all got out from the car.

"But, you said she locked the gate with a padlock, or did she use the key to the gate to lock it?" Ibrahim asked.

She used a padlock, i said to him.

He pushed the gate, but it didn't open. He pushed it again, the gate didn't open.

"What do we do now?" I asked him.

Just then the gate opened. We were both surprised.

"Good day", a young man said.

Me and Ibrahim looked at each other.

"May i know who you are looking for?" The young man asked.

"Do you live here", He asked the man.

"Yes, i live  here. Is there any problem?"

"Since when?" Ibrahim asked.

"Hmmm, for like a month now."

"How come?" Ibrahim asked him.

"I don't understand  you. This house was sold to me, i bought it."

"From who?" Ibrahim asked.

"Sorry , why all this questions."

"Please, just answer me."

The man stared at both of us.

"Hmmmm, i bought this house from a man and a woman, known as Alaji and Alajah."

"What!!" Ibrahim yelled out.

It was unbelievable to us.

"Well, i am going out now." He locked the gate and left.

Ibrahim, and i couldn't believe it.

Just then we saw, Stella.

"Jesus!" Stella yelled in surprise.

"So you didn't die!" She said in surprise.

Ibrahim looked at her and turned his face away.

"O my God!" She yelled again.

She left immedietly. 

Ibrahim, took his phone to call his mom.

She said they sold the house and his cars a month ago when they thought he was dead. His dad took the phone from his mom, telling him to bring back his car. Ibrahim, hanged up. Tears followed down his face.
Johnson, kept on asking what was happening.

Please dear, please be strong. It's not the end of the world, please.

I felt so hurt. Ibrahim, was really heart broken.

"You say it's not the end of the world."

I nodded my head, in tears.

"It is, it is", he said, as tears were rolling down his face.

"Dear, please don't say such please. We can go back to my house. Please, be strong. Life is more important than the house. Please, it's not the end. Tears were rolling down my face, continuously.

"It is, it is the end. Do you know over there in that country, all my money in my account was taken ."

What!!!!" I yelled, shocked.

All your money is gone or what are you saying. I cried out.

"Lord why? Why? Millions are gone",i said in my mind, as i cried out.

"Haaaaaa! God, God, God, where do i begin from?. What a life! What a life! All i worked for, gone in just a month. God why? What a life!", Ibrahim said, as he sat on the ground in tears.


PART 100
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

I lifted him up, in tears.

Dear, it's not the end of the world. I know this hurts so much, but we can start afresh again and make it, i believe, i said to Ibrahim on that day in tears and pains.

He couldn't even drive on that day, i was the one who drove. Tears couldn't stop flowing down our faces as i was driving.

Life wasn't just the same for Ibrahim anymore. He was always lost in thought almost every minutes, no matter how i hard i tried to my possible best to cheer him up.
He hardly ate, he hardly slept, he hardly spoke, no matter how hard i tried to encourage him.

Dear, please for God sake don't kill yourself over this, please. 

He gave me a look like "you don't understand."

Dear, i understand, i do. But, our life is more important than the house, cars, and money that are gone. At least you should be thankful to God for saving your life, how many people do you think could have come out alive from such. They say if there is life there is hope. We are alive so there is hope for us, i believe so much, i said, as tears were rolling down my eyes.

He sighed heavily.

Jhor, please eat, i said, with a spoon filled with food close to his mouth.

"Daddy, please eat na", Johnson pleaded.

I kept on pleading and encouraging him.

"I will get my house and cars back", he said, and got up.

I didn't know what else to do, no matter how hard i tried he didn't listen to me.

After a while i got up to go meet him.

He was lying on the bed, lost in thought, he didn't even notice my presence.
You can't see pains neither can you feel ones pains, but at that moment i could see his pains, i could even feel it in me, despite my own pains i was going through also.
You know that kind of pains when a man has lost all he has, and it was like the end of the whole world to him. I looked at him in tears, laying in bed, he had lost so much weight. He was loosing weight day by day. The way Ibrahim was acting kept on breaking my heart the more, i wished i could change the whole situation for him to be happy again. His happiness is mine, Ibrahim's happiness is what makes me happy. He wasn't himself, he was just another person else at that moment.

Dear, dear, dear, i called him, but he was lost in thoughts.

Ibrahim, i called him louder. He turned back to look at me.

"Why do you want to kill yourself over this. Just look at you, look at the way you are. You don't talk, you haven't bathed in days, you hardly eat, do you want to kill yourself, and leave Johnson and i only. Why, why, why you doing this to yourself. Do you know the pains have passed through, and i am still passing through, but i know God is with is us, i know", i said to Ibrahim in tears.

He looked at me without saying a word. I walked closer to the bed and sat beside him, he got up and sat also.

Please, don't feel you are alone in this, i am with . I love you and i won't leave you no matter how it is. 

"Thank you, i love you so much", he said.

I love you too. We will overcome this, we will. Don't you believe? I asked him.

He looked at me without saying a word.

Please, don't go up to the extent of suing your parents to court, like you said.  They are your parents dear. They only did that because we all thought you were gone.  Your dad has been sending messages to me even till now, saying you should return his car.

"Ignore that", he said in anger.

Dear, please, for God sake just return back is car, so we can have peace.

"Look, do not annoy me. I don't expect you to be saying such. My house i bought with all i worked for, my cars and yours were sold and here you are telling me this. Do you at all know what you are saying? Please, let me be", he said and laid down on bed.

I looked at him without saying a word.

Ibrahim, please for God sake listen to me. This is not the end. I'm working, i am ready to pay all bills. We will survive this dear, please."

He got up and sighed.

"I am sorry for speaking to you in such manner. "

It's ok, i understand  you. 

He kept on looking at me without saying a word.

What's it again? I asked him.

"I am so blessed to  to have a woman like you. Even upon all, you still stand by my side. I love you so much. Just a pity......", Tears began to roll down his face.

It's okay. Please, don't cry.

Promise me, you will do as you have said.

He kept mute.

Promise me, please, i said. Tears were rolling down my face.

Please, dear be strong, be strong. We will make it well again, better than before. Please, the way you are hurts me deeply, it breaks my heart the more.

"I am sorry", he said.

Promise me, you will listen to all what i have been telling you. Promise me?

"I promise", he said.

I hugged him, in tears.

Will you eat now?

He nodded his head.

I brought the food, i fed him, he managed to eat.

Two days later, we both went together with Johnson to return his dad's car. When we got to the gate, he stopped and we all came out.

"Mommy, am not going inside. Mommy, don't go!" Johnson yelled out.

"You can send him the message now", Ibrahim said.

_Good morning, daddy. Your car is at the front of the gate right now. We are both sorry, please have mercy on us._

That's was the message i sent to his dad.

It's sent, i said to Ibrahim.

"Let's leave now", he said.

We left immedietly.

You have made the right decision, i said to Ibrahim, as we got home.

He nodded his head.

"That's why i love you", he said to me.

The next Monday i started going to my boutique.

I was coming home one evening, when i decided to stop and get a new phone.

"Mommy!" Johnson, yelled when i got home.

My love, i said and lifted him up.

How was your day? I hope you didn't feel bored?

"Fine. But i don't like this house, it's too small. 

I sighed.

Johnson, had been complaining that he didn't like the house.

Don't worry love. God will give us a bigger house, bigger than the one we had, ok. Just keep on praying.

"I will mommy."

That's my boy, give me a high five.

"I love you, mommy."

I love you too, son.

"Mommy, what's inside the nylon?"

Where is your dad? 

"He is in the room."

I walked to the room. I saw him sitting on bed, he bowed his head, his two hands were on his face.

Dear, dear, dear, i called him, but he didn't respond.

I went closer to him, and removed his hand from his face.

He sighed.

"Oh, you are back. How was work today?"

Tears rolled down my face.

"What is it?"

Ibrahim, why are you still like this?

"How?"

You know. I called you three times when i came in, you didn't even hear me, you were lost in thoughts. Why? You are hurting me with all this", i said, as i sat on the bed weeping.

He held my hand.

"I'm sorry", he said.

"Please, don't cry, don't cry. I don't love to see you cry."

If you don't like to see me cry, you won't still keep on being this way.

"Please, i am sorry.  I was just thinking of so many things."

What? What? Just tell me what thinking will solve, no just tell me.

"I am sorry. You can't understand."

I understand you, i do. But, you still have to be strong, for God sake you are a man.

He sighed.

"I will try to be strong. Don't cry, i am sorry", he pleaded, using his hand to whip my tears.

Have you eaten? I asked him.

He nodded his head.

I went into the kitchen to see the food i prepared for him untouched, tears rolled down my eyes.

Ibrahim, why, why, why....I said walking back to the room.

So you didn't eat, you lied to me. Why? Why? Even upon how i am trying my best you just keep on hurting me. I sat on the floor, weeping.

"Mommy, don't cry", Johnson said, petting me.

Ibrahim, came closer me, pleading and petting me not to cry.

I felt so hurt, even upon how i was trying  my best to cheer him up.

I prepared dinner.

I had to force him to eat, feeding him, that's was how he finished the food.

I am happy you ate.

"Thank you, baby. I love you so much."

I love you too, dear. I got something for you.

"Really, what's that?" He asked.

I brought the nylon, brought out the new phone i got, and gave it to him.

This for you, i said.

"Wow! Oh my God. You got this for me?"

I nodded my head.

He thanked me so much.

I think you should try to retrieve your number.

"No, there is no need."

Why? What about the contacts you have, especially the important ones, how will you will be able to get those contact back. You know they all think you are dead, God forbid!

"Baby, i said there is no need to. Don't worry about that."

Why? I asked quite angry.

He shut my lips with his.

People, in the compound kept on gossiping about both us, but we didn't care.

I found a school, i registered Johnson and paid all the bills. Ibrahim, thanked me so much.

After a while he started acting strong, but i felt he was just doing it for my sake. 

We started talking well again, playing and also discussing how we could make things better. We started living happily again, eating from one plate sometimes, like then. Johnson, was so happy.

I asked him to tell me the full story of what happened when he travelled. I didn't ask him the first day he told me because tears were rolling down his face, i felt the more i asked me the more he will feel hurt remembering what happened. After then i couldn't ask him because of what happened, his house and cars that were sold. He told me the whole story, i thanked God for saving him

He started following me to work.  When we leave, we will both go to Johnson's school to take him home along with us. We were happy again.

I rented a two bedroom apartment, so Johnson could also have his room. I paid money for the place to be painted and furnished.  I bought election devices needed in the home.
When i was done i told, Ibrahim. He was surprised, he asked me why i had to go up to that extent, without even letting him know. I told him i just wanted to surprise him, and i want us to be more happier.  Two days after i told him, we moved in to the new apartment.

"Mommy, i like here than the other place, but i still like our real house", Johnson said.

Don't worry, it's well son. 

He took the remote to put on the Tv, as there was light.

"You got all this?" Ibrahim asked surprised, looking all around.

I nodded my head my smiling.

"Baby, i don't know how to thank you again, i don't know. God bless you so much. You are just more than a wonderful woman. You are a woman any man would die for to have. Even upon all, you still chose to stay by my side. I love you."

I love you also, i said, smiling.

Our lips were locked in each other.

That's how things started going well again.

One night, i went to get something outside. When i came in i saw blood on the floor in the sitting room, i was shocked. What i was holding fell of my hands.

"Mommy!!!!!!" Johnson screamed out loudly.

My heart started beating fast. I ran to the room, where i heard Johnson's voice.

"Mommy!!!!" Johnson screamed from the bathroom.

I walked to the bathroom, quickly.

Jesus........!!!! I screamed out.



MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

What happened?! I asked Ibrahim, holding him. 

Fear filled me.
Ibrahim, was coughing out blood.

What's wrong? What happened to you? 

Johnson, what happened to your dad? I asked him. Tears were rolling down my face. 

"Mommy, i don't know", he said, crying.

How can you say you don't know! Were you not at home! I yelled at him.

This was happening on the 10th of March, 2018. Just four days after we moved into the apartment.

What happened? What happened? I asked Ibrahim in fear, and in tears.

More blood started coming out from his mouth. I ran outside....

Help me! Help me! Help me! I yelled out, crying.

Four people ran out of their houses.

"What's it?"
"What happened?"
"Kiloshele?" 
They all asked.

My husband is dying, please help me?

"What happened to him?" One of them, a man asked.

I don't know, i don't know. Please, help me, please.

"Let's go" one of them said.

I ran inside, and they followed me.

"Jesus Christ!" One of them yelled on seeing Ibrahim.

With their help Ibrahim was rushed to a hospital, in one of the men's car.
I sat at the back seat with him. I held him close to myself on that day, crying and asking him what happened, but he didn't say a word.

When we got to the hospital, he was taken in quickly.

Fear filled the whole of me. I wondered what could have happened to him. I saw terrified of losing him. I couldn't stop crying.  I wished all was a dream.

One of the nurses prevented me from going in.

Are you stupid! Will you get of my way! I yelled at her.

"Please, i am sorry you can't go in."

Do you know what you are saying at all! My husband is dying right there and here you are saying i can't go in, i said in tears.

"Please, but you can't just go in right now." She said, still preventing me from taking a step.

Get out of my way! I pushed her.

I ran to where they took him in, hitting the door. Suddenly, i felt two hands my hands.

"I'm sorry, you can't go in now", the man said.

Will you shut up! Leave me alone! I yelled at him, crying, in fears and pains.

Leave me alone! Get your hands off me! Leave me! I kept on yelling at the man.

He pulled me to the reception, and told me to sit.
 The two men who  followed to the hospital, on seeing me they got up immediately, pleading that they should take it easy me  and i should calm down.

"Mommy, don't cry. Nothing will happen to daddy, in Jesus name", Johnson said.

"Amen", one of the men responded.

I sat on the the floor crying.
The two men came to pull me to sit on the chair.

Who could have attacked my husband, who, who? I asked, crying. Why did i go out, why did i? Why? Why? Why?

The two men were consoling me. One of them asked Johnson what happened.

I was crying, in pains and fears.

"Mommy, i want to tell you something."

I looked at him.

"Let's go outside."

I wondered what he wanted to tell me. I got up and we both walked out.

 What do you want to tell me? I asked him, in tears.

"Daddy, has been telling me he will soon go."

Go to where! I yelled out in fear. When did he tell you that? Why?

"He told me since. Mommy, daddy has been weak since, h had  just been pretending to be strong anytime you are around."

What!!! Weak...! I yelled.

I flashed back to one evening. Ibrahim, didn't know i was there, he was struggling like someone in pains before he could get up. I asked him what happened, he said he was tired. I had to lift him up that day, since then i told to stop going with me to work, he should stay at home to rest. I thought it was due to what he was passing through that made him weak.  One night i woke up to see him sitting on the bed, tears were rolling down his face, i was consoling him that night.
 
Daddy, told you that and you never told me, i said, crying.

"He told me not to tell you, he told me he will die soon."

And you never told me, Johnson. What happened to him? What happened?

"I don't know", Johnson said.

You don't know?

"Yes. He told me in the morning today that when he goes, i should always continue to be obedient and listen to whatever you say."

Jesus!!!! I screamed out.

I cried out, wondering what must have happened to Ibarahim.

We both walked in, i saw the doctor coming and i ran towards him.

What's wrong with my husband? What happened to him? I asked the Doctor, in tears.

He sighed. "Please, calm down, ma."

My husband is dying and you are telling me to calm down.

"Please ma, calm down, please."

Where is my husband? What happened to him?

"He is fine! Please, calm down."

My husband is fine?

"Yes, he is."

Can i see him now?

"Yes, you can."

Immedietly, i and Johnson went to see him.

Dear, dear, i called him.

"Ba...by...", He managed to say.

Hope you are ok? Are you better? 

"Yes", he said.

Ibrahim, who did this to you? Who? I asked him, in tears.

"No one", he said.

"Daddy, you won't die in Jesus name, amen", Johnson kept on saying.

"Why did you tell Johnson you are going to die soon? Why?" I cried out.

He didn't say a word.

Why, what happened to you, why?

"Nothing, i don't know what happened", he said.

Ibrahim, you don't know? Then, why did you tell Johnson such, why?

He didn't say a word. I kept on asking him but he didn't answer.

I left to go ask the doctor what happened. The doctor didn't tell me anything reasonable. I came back to where Ibrahim was, crying. It was breaking my heart to see him in such condition.

"Come and sit beside me", he said, weakly.

I should come and sit beside you, when you don't want to tell me what happened to you.

"I said i don't know. What did the doctor tell you?"

The doctor, didn't tell me anything. I couldn't figure anything out from what he was saying. 

Ibrahim, what happened that you told Johnson such?

"Come and sit closer to me, don't go, please."

I sat down beside him, crying. He placed his hand on mine, without saying a word.

I have to let your parents know, i said.

"Don't tell them anything", he said.

Why? You are like this and you say i should not let your parents know?

"Yes, they don't care."

I walked out. I dialed both his mom and dad numbers up to ten times, but they didn't answer my call. I sent them a text telling thembwhat happened, i also sent the name and address of the hospital to them.

_You witch, if anything happens to my son, i will kill you myself._

That was the message his mom sent to me. I went back in, crying.

See the text your mom sent to me, i said showing Ibrahim.

"Didn't i just tell you not to call them." He was so angry, but he was too weak to show it.

That night around 1am, his mom around.

When his parents came in, i got up immediately and excused them.

"Oko mi, kiloshele", is mom asked, with her eyes filled with eyes.

His dad was looking at him, waiting for a reply.

He didn't say a word. They kept on talking to him, but he didn't say a word. Tears were flowing down his mom's face. His dad eyes were filled with tears.

The doctor came in.
His mom, immediately asked the doctor what happened to him.

"Let's see outside", the doctor said to her.

His mom, his dad, and the doctor walked out.

I didn't know what the doctor told his mom.

"Haaaaaaaaaa! Mogbe!!!" His mom shouted.

I became terrified the more. I ran out of the hospital room to hear what was going on. I asked the doctor what happened to him, he didn't say a word. He only said i should stay with him, while he and parents left together. I walked back in, crying.

Ibrahim, please, tell me what happened, please.

The next day, Kazeem came. He kept on asking Ibrahim what happened, but he didn't say anything to him. Kazeem, came closer to me to ask me, i told him i did not know. 

I feel he is hiding it from me. Have been asking the doctor he didn't tell me. Just around 1am when his parents arrived i didn't know what the doctor told his parents that his mom had been crying, i said to Kazeem.

"Take it easy, don't cry. Why didn't you ask his mom?"

I didn't say a word, I kept on crying.

His mom sat down crying, beside him. His dad couldn't say a word, but one could see he was pained.

That evening, i saw his parents following the doctor to his office. When they got in and closed to door, after a while i went to stand at the door to hear what they were talking about.

"I am sorry there is nothing i can do now, his condition right now is ......

I forced the door open. They turned to look at me.

Doctor, what did you want to say? His condition is what? You told me he is getting better.

"Please ma, calm down."

His condition his what? What's my husband's condition?

He was pleading that i should calm down.

Tell me now! Tell me it's now! I started scattering everything on the doctor's table, angrily. Tell me what's wrong with  husband! Tell me! I kept on yelling at the doctor, in tears. Security men came in and held me.
"Leave me alone!" I kept on yelling at them.

They pulled to the reception. I sat on the floor crying.

"God! What could have happened to my husband. Oh Lord, why is all this happening", i said in my mind, crying.

Ibrahim, you won't die! You won't die! You won't! I cried out.

I got up to go meet him.

Dear, the doctor was saying something, but when i came in he stopped.

"What did you hear him say?"

I heard him telling your parents that there is nothing he can do, that your condition.... That's all i heard. What happened? What?"

"It's time i tell you myself."

Tell me what? What?

"Calm, down and sit on the bed."

I placed my two hands on his face, in tears.

"I love you."

Yes, i know you do. You don't need to tell me, i said.

"Adeola, i love you."

Please, don't scare me ok, this the first time you calling my name , ever since.

He sighed.

"Adeola, you are everything to me, i mean all. I couldn't have gotten any other woman better than you. God bless the day i met you forever. I am sorry for what i did then, I am sorry for bringing in Aliya in that day, i didn't know what came over me. I am sorry for what happened between Stella and i."

Please, all that is gone. I love you so much.

"I am sorry for all the pains i made you go through."

We made a promise we were going to fight through, am still ready to fight through  to be with you. I love you.

"Yes, i know you really do. Everything is cutting apart now."

Never! God forbid! You won't die but live to declare the works of God, ok, i believe that. The Bible says who is that man that shall say a word  and it shall come to pass when the Lord Almighty did not command it. i said to him, crying.

"I really appreciate all you did and you are still doing for my sake." He paused, looking at me.

I couldn't stop crying.

"My plan was to will my house, cars, and money to you only, when i came back, but it so sad that all was gone."

Why are you say such? Why?

He sighed.

"I am sorry, i would be living you with nothing."

Will you stop this! You are not leaving you are not going anywhere ok!

"Adeola, i am going to miss you so much."

Please, stop all this ok! What's the meaning of all this? Who says you are going to die? Just stop it, please!

"Adeola, i know you love me so much. Please, when i am gone....."

You are not going anywhere ok! I yelled at him in anger and in tears.

"When i am gone, i don't want you to stay single because you love me. Please, get remarried and live happy with our son. You deserve to be happy. I am sorry for all the pains i made you go through. I thought we could fight through, but here is end."

Why are you talking like this? I broke down the more, crying.

"I  didn't what to tell you because i knew it will break you down, and i never wanted that, i didn't want anything that will make you cry, you had been through a lot. I am sorry. "

What didn't you want to tell me?

"I wasn't kidnapped when i traveled."

What!?

"I was arrested."

Arrested??? How? Why? And you never told me the truth! I said in tears.

"I didn't know who implicated me, i was caught carrying cocaine."

What!!! How come! How!

"I don't know, i don't."

I was still crying.

"I had to choose the second option because i wanted to come see you and our son before i leave."

Please, stop it you are not leaving to anywhere. Stop it! Stop!

"According to the doctor i only have 72hours to live."

God forbid! God forbid!

"It took months before the case was judged fully.
Their law there for such crime is either death or to be injected with what will kill slowly."

What!!!!!

"I accepted the injection on that day, before i came back."

Haaaaaaaaaa! God!!!!! I screamed out, in tears and pains.


PART 102
MY PAINS
©PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

How come? How come? Who implicated you? Who did that to you?

"Adeola, i don't know, i don't know how it happened."

Haaaaaaa! Jesu!
God why! Why! Why! I screamed out, crying.

Were you not searched at the airport here in Nigeria.

"Of course, i was. I can't tell how it happened."

Lord why? Why? Why are you letting all this happen to us? Lord, what sin did we commit to deserve all this! My husband gave his life to you God, he did, he did. Haaaaaaa! I cried out in pains.

"Adeola, you have always been a strong woman, please still be strong even right now. Adeola, it hurts me so much even right now to see you cry."

I should be strong you say? I should be? No, I can't be, no!

I sat on the floor, crying in serious pains. 

"Adeola", he called me.

Dear, i answered me.

"Sit close to me please. I want you to sit close to me in the few hours i have to spend."

Will you stop that! Will you? Do you know how it hurts and breaks my heart when you say such. Do you know the heavy pain that arises in my heart when you say such. You are not going to die, you will not, Ibrahim you will not.

"Adeola, in life we just have to be strong and accept  certain situation. It's not my wish to die, it's not. I tried to fight hard to be strong, but i am sorry i couldn't. The time is near now, i have accepted my fate. Adeola, please stay strong. I can never forget you even when i get to heaven."

Ibrahim, please stop. You are not going to heaven not now o! Never! Never!

I sat close to him crying.

I didn't know when i slept off. I had a dream that they were burying my husband, i woke up terrified.

Ibrahim! Ibrahim! Ibrahim! I yelled out his name, in fear.

"Yess..", he weakly said.

Oh, thank you Jesus, thank you.

Ibrahim, you won't die. I reject such dream in the mighty name of Jesus, Amen.

Ibrahim, i love you, i do. You won't leave me, you won't die, i said.

The next day.

 Johnson and i sat close to each other, i was crying.

God! No! No! No! Less than 48hours no Lord! Lord, you are the great healer please heal my husband, please Lord. Lord, you even woke Lazarus to life after four days he had been dead, my husband is still alive  Lord heal him, please Lord.

"Mommy, it's ok. Please, don't cry, mommy don't cry again", Johnson kept on saying, petting me.

Lord, show your mercy and heal my husband. Lord please. Lord please heal my husband, i promise to do all to serve you. Lord please, please. 

I kept on crying and crying, not even a second i could stop. Kazeem, was consoling me.

"Mommy!" Johnson yelled.

I turned to look at him.

"Mommy, we can call Pastor Abel."

Abel, i said.

"Yes, mommy."

"Who is Abel?" Kazeem asked.
Johnson, told him.

"Mommy, please call Pastor Abel", Johnson pleaded.

I took my phone to call Abel. I called him up to twenty times, but he didn't answer. I dropped my phone on the ground, crying.

His mom was seated beside him, crying, his dad was seated calm in pains.

Johnson, took my phone, he kept on dialing Abel's number.

"Mommy, he has picked up!" Johnson yelled, happily.

His parents both left.

"Hello", Abel said.

"Hello, Abel, Abel."

"Yes. I am sorry for not picking up, i was in a prayer meeting. How are you?"

"Abel, i am not fine, am not."

"What's wrong? You are fine in Jesus name."

"My husband is dying, Abel. He is dying, he has less than 48hours to live", i said to him, crying.

"God forbid! He won't die but live to declare the works of the Lord. What happened to him?"

I told him.

He prayed for him on the phone.

"Abel, please you don't understand this is a serious issue you need to come pray for him here."

He sighed.

"I'm very busy, right now."

"Abel, please, please i beg you in the name of God."

He paused for a while.

"Abel, please. Please, don't let my husband die, please."

"Where are you? Which hospital are you?"

I told him.

"I will be on my way now."

"Thank you. Please, be fast please. My husband has less than 48 hours to live."

"Calm down, i will. He won't die, God is with him, i know the God of who i serve, He works even at the last second. Keep your hope alive. Your husband won't die." He encouraged me and hanged up.

I put down my phone, crying.

"Mommy, what did he say?" Johnson asked.

I didn't answer him.

I sat beside Ibrahim, still crying.

His mom rushed in that his sister wanted to talk to him through a video call. She held her phone facing Ibrahim.

"Ibrahim, Ibrahim,", his sister called him in a sad tone, but he didn't answer her. He turned his face away. His mom was surprised at his reaction.

"Ibrahim, you elder sister wants to talk to you", she said, in tears.

"I am not ready to talk to anyone", he replied her.

I pleaded on Ibrahim to talk to her but he didn't. Kazeem, also talked to him to talk to his sister but he didn't. I knew he was angry because his sister told his parents the truth of him converting to a christian, and what she did to me also.
His mom kept on asking him what his sister did to him, that he doesn't want to talk to her, but he didn't respond. She kept on looking at him in tears, before she left. Kazeem, still kept on consoling me.

I kept on calling Abel, he told me he will be there soon.

After about five hours Abel arrived at the hospital, he called me and i rushed out immediately. Abel, came with two other men.

Abel, Abel, my husband is dying.

"He won't die but live to declare the work of the Lord. Use your tongue to prophecy good things."

"Please, come and pary for him, please."

Abel sighed on seeing Ibrahim.

"Do you believe the Lord Jesus can heal you?" He asked Ibrahim.

"I believe, but at this time i know am going to die", Ibrahim said, and Abel smiled at him.

God forbid! You won't die! I yelled in tears.

"Let's pray", he said to the two men, and he raised a song.

_You are the Lord that heals us, you are the Lord our healer.... You sent forth your word and it heal our dieases... You are the Lord our healer_ They sang the song up to three times.

"Lord, you healed the sick, you raised thy dead to life. Lord, you said we should call upon your name in the days of trouble and you will answer us. Lord, it is written that your son here shall not die but live to declare your word.

He started speaking in tongue.

Just then Ibrahim's mom and dad rushed in.

"What's is going on! What do you think you are doing to my son!" She yelled at Abel angrily.

"Yes, who do you think you are!" His dad yelled at Abel.

"Who called you here!" His dad asked.

"I'm sorry ma and sir. I was called by his wife to come pray for him", Abel said.

"Pray what!" His mom yelled.

Kazeem, was pleading that they should calm down, but they didn't.

"You this stupid girl! Witch! So you have now brought your witch people here!"

"You all had better get out now!" His dad yelled at Abel and the two men with so much anger.

Ibrahim, was managing to talk, telling his parents to calm down.
Abel and the two other men were pleading that they should calm down but they didn't .  I pleaded on Abel that he shouldn't be angry, he should leave. They still kept on shouting at Abel and i angrily. His parents almost turned it into a fight, before the doctor and and two security men came in. Abel, and the two other men with Ibrahim's parents walked out. 

"Adeola, i know you love me, and that's why you are doing all this so i won't die. No matter how you talk to my parents they won't agree to this. Please, do not let them hurt you the more, let them me. It's almost time for me to leave, i can feel it."

Ibrahim, please stop it, please. You won't die, you won't, i said crying in terrible pains.

"Adeola, if you know the serious pains I am going through right now, you will be happy for me to die and go to heaven to rest."

I cried out the more. No, no, no, you won't die. You won't leave me! 

"Adeola, i am going through pains, pains.... Tears were rolling down his face.


PART 103
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

Ibrahim, stop it, stop it, don't hurt me, you won't die in Jesus name, i cried out.

I walked out, and saw the Doctor talking to his parents. Abel and the other men  stood still. I went up to them apologizing for what his parents did. The doctor was talking to his parents to let them pray for him.

"I have been a doctor for the past twenty years, through out those years up till now i have seen a lot. There are some people condition that are at the point of dying, prayers bring them to life again, and it amazes us to be sincere.  We do our very best, it is only God that heals not us. Please, despit the fact both of you are Muslims still let them pray for your son, because right now no medical treatment can heal your son he is going to die", the doctor said.

"Omo mi, ko le ku o!(My child will not die)"His mom yelled out in tears. Her husband was petting her.

"There is nothing God can do. God is the only one that can heal your son now, if  not i am sorry. Please, let them pray for him.
The doctor kept on pleading.

After a while, they reluctantly agreed, Abel and the other men walked in. His parents were both looking at them when they were praying for him. Abel prayed for him for not more than five minutes, he said he had somewhere to go. His parents were looking at Abel with so much disbelief.  Abel, thanked them for letting him pray for Ibrahim. He encourage me to keep my faith strong that he will get well.  I thanked Abel and the other men, and they left  immediately.

I sat beside Ibrahim, crying and praying in my mind.

In the evening of that day.

"Adeola, i love you", Ibrahim said.
His voice sounded weaker than before.

I know, i do also.

"I'm going to miss you so much."

Please, stop it! Why are you talking like this? You will not die but live to declare the work of God, i said, crying.

"Where is Ahmed?" 

He is out, let me go and call him.

"Ok.." 

I went to out to call Johnson.
He told Johnson to sit close to him, he placed his hand on his cheek talking to him. Johnson, was crying.

"Daddy, stop you won't die. Daddy, you won't die. I love you daddy", he said in tears.

The next day being it the third day, Ibrahim's condition became worst. I kept on calling Abel's number but he didn't pick up. I couldn't stop crying. I lost hope in praying. 

"Doctor, do something! do something! My only son must not die, haaaaa!" His mom cried out, like a baby.

The doctor sighed. "I'm sorry, only God can save him right now."

"Haaaaaaaaaaa!" His mom screamed out.

"Doctor! What do you mean? Do something to save our son, do something", his dad said as tears were rolling down on his face.

The doctor sighed. "In some few hours he will be gone. I'm sorry there is noting i can do."

"Doctor, please i am begging you do something to save my son's life", his dad said.

"The only thing we can do right now is to support him with a life machine."

"Doctor, please do! Do it o! Don't let me lose my son o! Haaaaaaaaaaa! Yeeeeeee! She yelled out, crying like a baby.

"To be sincere even when that is done, he is still going to lose his life."

God forbid! I yelled out in tears. Kazeem, was consoling me, his eyes were filled with tears.

He was changed to another room.

I shouldn't have been in the room but i didn't allow the doctor or nurses to stop me, and Ibrahim himself told them to let me in.
 Before the life machine was placed on him, he told me to come sit beside on the bed close to him.

"Adeola, i love you and i will always do even when i am gone. Thank you so much for always being by my side, i appreciate all. Adeola, i pray you get a good man to marry you, a man who won't let you go through pains like i did. I am sorry."

Ibrahim, please stop. You won't die..... I cried out in pains.

"Adeola, i feel life going out of me already. "

No! No! No! I yelled out crying.

"Adeola, am in very serious pains, if you can understand you will wish for me to go and rest. It's so sad things ended up this way."

I couldn't say a word, I kept on crying, my two hands were on him. He held one of my hand.

"Kiss me", he said.

I kissed him in tears.

The life machine was placed on him. 

I didn't sleep or doze off even for a second, i kept on looking at him, in tears.

Around 9pm in the night, the reading of the life machine changed which meant he was giving up already.

Ibrahim....!!!!! Noooooooo!!! Doctor!!!! I yelled out in fear. Suddenly i felt my heartbeat increased than ever, i passed on there.

I woke up to see a nurse by my side. I looked around wondering why i was.

What happened , what's happening? I asked the nurse.

The nurse told me to relax that i fainted.

Fainted?

"Yes" , the nurse repiled.

How come? 
She said she didn't know. 

As i was about getting up from the bed she placed her hand on my chest to relax me back on the bed.

I tried hard recalling what had happened but i couldn't remember.

After about thirty minutes, i started remembering somethings.

Noooooo! Ibrahim! I yelled out,as i got up from the bed.

The nurse held me.

Where is my husband! Where is he! Tell me, where he is now! I yelled out her in fear.

Get away from me let me go see him, i said to the nurse angrily, as i started crying.

I kept on yelling at her, but she held me. The doctor walked in.

Where is my husband? I asked the doctor.

The doctor sighed. 

Answer me! I yelled at the doctor, in tears. Suddenly I felt  strength left me.

The doctor laid me down on the bed, he told the nurse to go get something, she left immediately

Doctor, where is Ibrahim, tell me? I asked weakly.

"He is fine", the doctor said.

Take me to go and see him, i said.

"You will see him. You need to rest now, your blood pressure is very high" , the doctor said.

Ibrahim....Ibrahim..... Ibrahim..i kept on calling his name weakly, as tears were rolling down my eyes.

I think i was injected for me to sleep, so i could rest, because I   didn't know when I slept off.



PART 104
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

I woke up the next day , still  calling his name. I was taken by the doctor to go see him. His parents and Johnson were seated beside him.
Tears were rolling down my eyes.

What's happening? I asked, looking at everyone. The doctor smiled.

Ibrahim.... I called his name slowly in fear. He didn't answer, i turned to look at the doctor.
The doctor smiled again. I turned to look at his parents and Johnson, they didn't say a word.

Ibrahim.... I called his name and tapped him softly.

He opened his eyes..."baby.." he called me softly.

I was shocked. "Am i dreaming?" I asked myself. I turned back to look at everyone. 

Ibrahim... I called his name again, looking at him surprisingly, as tears were rolling down my eyes.

"Baby.... " He called me.

I still kept on looking at him surprisingly.

"I'm am alive", he said.

Jesus.....!!!!!!!!! I screamed out in Joy, as tears of joy were rolling down my face.

I held his hand.

"I feel no pains again", he said.

I was so surprised i was dumbfounded i could not say a word.  I was filled with so much joy than ever in my life.  I held his hand we kept on looking at each other as tears of joy still kept on looking at him surprisingly.

"I'm am alive", he said.

Jesus.....!!!!!!!!! I screamed out in Joy, as tears of joy were rolling down my face.

I held his hand.

"I feel no pains again", he said.

I was so surprised, i was dumbfounded i could not say a word.  I was filled with so much joy than ever in my life.  I held his hand we kept on looking at each other as tears of joy were rolling down my face.
He kept on smiling at me weakly. 

"Thank you. God bless you", he said to me, weakly.

Thank you Lord... thank you Lord...I kept on  saying as tears kept on rolling down my face.

I turned to look at the doctor.....
Last night i saw the life machine.... The doctor cut me off.

"Yes! This is beyond scientific explanation! The doctor exclaimed happily. Ever since when i have been working as a doctor this is one of the greatest experience i have ever seen.  God is great! Please, keep on serving Him well. God really loves your family." He said, smiling.

I turned to look at Ibrahim.

"I have to leave now", the doctor said, and left.

I sat beside him on the bed. We held hands together, i still could not stop on crying. He removed his hand from mine, he lifted up his hand to my face, whipping my tears. Johnson, walked closer to us.

"Mommy, i told you daddy won't die", Johnson said.

I looked at his parents, who were smiling. I didn't see Kazeem he had left.

It was nothing but God's doing.  He got healed on the 14th of March 2018. 14th of March 2018, will forever remain a memoriable day in our lifes. 

To cut the long story short.....

Four days later he was discharged on the 18th of March 2018. 

 His parents wanted him to go home with them along with Johnson, but he refused. They later insisted to go home with us but Ibrahim refused.
 Ibrahim, and i with Johnson went home. I called Abel and told him he was so happy. I kept on thanking God. I was so Joyous, i was overwhelmed. Ibrahim, himself could not stop thanking me.
 That Sunday we  went to Church. We both gave the testimony, everyone in church were surprised as they kept on clapping. Ibrahim, had  attended the baptisima class fully, before the incident. That Sunday was the day for the baptising, he was baptised, and given his certificate. He was given his certificate for also completing the workers is in training class. We were so happy. We went home happily. We were living happily .

That Sunday evening we were both watching a movie, when he switched off the TV.

Why did you put it off? I asked him.

"I want to tell you something", he said.

What's that?

"I want to appriciate
you again for all."

Dear, you have been appreciating me.

"Yes, and i will always do. If not you i would have been gone. Thank you for always being by my side even with all."

You don't need to thank me, let's thank God all is now well with us, i said to him, filled with smiles.

"Yes. But i will always thank you, i made you go through a lot", he said as tears rolled down his face.
I flashed back to all the pains i had been through and tears rolled down my face.

"You are not just a woman, you are a great woman. You are wonderful. You the kind of woman a man wishes to have in his life. Thanks, for always loving me no matter what. My life is so blessed to have you."

I smiled as tears kept rolling down my face.

All glory to God. I love you and nothing will ever make me leave you. You are my life, life isn't worth living without. Without you i have no joy, your  happiness is what makes me happy."

"I love you too baby even till old age. We will grow old together in love.

Amen......

Amen.... Ibrahim said also.

He made me relax on him.

He was silent, after like ten minutes he spoke.

"Baby, i am thinking......"

Thinking what?

"Thinking we should go see your parents, your mom especially."

My mom?...I asked, as i got up from him.

"Yes ..."
 
Why? And for what? I asked him angrily.

Because she's your mom and my mother inlaw also.

So....?

"So i think we should go see her. You know your mom hated me because i was a muslim, now i am a christian i believe she's going to accept me."

You believe she's going to accept you? For God sake don't even think of going there! We have been through a lot and i don't want any problem again, never!

"I understand you, but things can't just continue like this forever! She's against us, we need to ask for her fogivness."

Fogivness, you say?!  I think she's the one to ask for my fogivness.

"What are you saying? Just hear yourself out."

Yes, have you forgotten what i told you? I asked him, my eyes were filled with tears.

"What?" He asked seriously.

How she treated me when i went to her house, tears rolled down my eyes.

"Don't cry ok. I understand, but......

But what? What? 

"We still have to ask for her fogivness, and am sure she will accept us now."

I didn't say a word.

"We are going tomorrow."

And you think my mom would just believe  you are a Christian just like that?

"Yes, i now have my baptisma certificate and with my certificate of being a worker in church now, so tell me why she won't believe?"

I kept mute.

The next day we went to my parents house. They were very surprised seeing us, especially Johnson. To cut my story short she was surprised too see that Ibrahim had converted into a christian. She accepted him happily. Later she called me to come to her room. She asked me what was his parents reaction when they got to know, i lied to her that they had no problem with that. She asked me what made him convert, I sighed and told her it's a long story. She didn't want Johnson to go home with us, so Ibrahim and i decided that we will let him stay for a week with her. Johnson, was so happy seeing my parents and siblings, he was glad to spend a week with them.  I didn't tell her the story of what i passed through. Ibrahim and i were so happy that she accepted us and prayed for us also.

On Friday, there was a vigil at Abel's church. Ibrahim and I went. We shared the testimony, the church was amazed.

Around 9am, we were still sleeping when Ibrahim's phone rang. I woke him up and he answered the call. 

What's it? I asked him.

"Kazeem, just got arrested yesterday."

What! Arrested? How? Why?

"He said he was accused of killing a man in his house."

Jesus Christ! How did this happen?

"I don't know", he said and laid down on the bed.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

Your cousin got arrested over a serious issue, and here you are lying down when you know he seriously needs your help as you being a lawyer...

He hissed and turned his face away.
Ibrahim, did you just hiss at me? I asked him, but kept mute.

Ibrahim, Ibrahim.......

"What's it? Go ahead to help him na."

O my God! Ibrahim!  That's Kazeem o! Your own brother! Kazeem, was with us all through the time you were in the hospital, no day did he not pray for you."

He sighed and placed the pillow on his ear.

Jesus! I exclaimed, i was surprised at his reaction.

I kept on wondering what could have made him react that way.

"Could it be because of what happened between Kazeem and i" I thought to myself.

I placed my hand on his, he turned to look at me. I scrambled for words before I could speak.

I.....know...you are angry .. because of what ...what happened...

He sighed.

"Do not say it", he said in anger.

Please, you have to forgive him. Kazeem, really needs your help right now.

He kept mute.

I kept on talking to him before he reluctantly agreed.

"He said i should not come with you?"

Me....? why?
"Is his conscience still bugging him over what happened then", i thought.

"Forget about that, we are going together", he said as he got up from the bed.

To be continued.

Follow the author on Instagram @princessmotunrayodurojaiye
[2/1, 3:09 AM] LIFE NOVELS: *PART 105*
*MY PAINS*
© *PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE*

We got there and saw Kazeem. He was in tears. I felt so much pity for him.

"Haaaaaaaaa! I told you  not to come with her?" He said as his tears increased the more.
  
Me and Ibrahim looked at each other , wondering why Kazeem said such. He turned his face to Kazeem.

"Ibrahim, i told you na, mo sor fu ehn na."  He placed his head on the table.

Ibrahim and i kept  on looking at him as he cried bitterly. 

After a while, Kazeem lifted up his face.

"E sha nu mi! Forgive me", he cried out.

Ibrahim and i looked at each other.

"Ejhor, e shanu mi" Kazeem kept on saying.

Ibrahim sighed. 
"Kazeem, it's ok." Ibrahim said.

"Please, forgive me", he said looking at me.

I sighed. Kazeem, you know have forgiven you long ago.

He cried out, bitterly.

"I have a confession", Kazeem said.

Ibrahim, sighed again. "It's okay, i know. There is no need to say it. Iyawo mi oti sor fun mi.(my wife has told me)" Ibrahim said.

He kept on crying.

I think we should go straight to the point why you are here now, i said.

"I didn't kill the man, i didn't.." Kazeem said.

We know you didn't. My husband being a lawyer and God being on your side for sure you will overcome this, i said.  I felt so much pity for him. I was so touched, i wished i could help him out immediately.

"Nooooo....God can never be on my side", Kazeem said, as he was crying.

Why would you say such? You didn't kill who they accused you of killing.

"I did not. I have a confession to make, not what you think. Please forgive me."

Ibrahim and i looked at him seriously, waiting to hear what he had to say.

"Years back  when both of you weren't married... I was in an eatery with my friends, when i saw you coming in with a man."

Me? I asked. He nodded his head. Ibrahim, looked at him.

"Go on", he said to Kazeem.

"When i saw you i left the eatery so you won't notice me, because then you had Ibrahim had misunderstanding and you were separated.  My friends knew you, they had seen you once, the day you and Ibrahim met me and my friends one night, when you both said you were coming from a cinema. They were watching you, they told me the man proposed to you and you accepted. I was in my car when you came out of the eatery on that day.  I saw you staring at my car."

My mind flashed back to the day Abel proposed to me in that eatery. I rememberd the car. I was staring at the car because it was like the car Ibrahim was using then. Kazeem and Ibrahim were using the same make of car but my mind never went there on that day, that it could be his car. I remembered those guys that i saw drinking on that day. I didn't remember they were Kazeem friends, i guess it's because it's one night i met them and i could not see thier faces well.

"Ibrahim, was so hurt that you both were separated, so i thought of something to help him so you guys can be together again.  My friends and i decided to follow the man after he had left you. We traced him to his to house. He told us he was a pastor. We told him to give us his number and we warned him to stay away from you if not we will kill him."

So it's you and your  friends that threatened Abel! I yelled out surprisingly in teary eyes, as i flashed back.

"Wow...! So ...that was Abel! And you never told me! " Ibrahim yelled at me surprisingly, pointing a finger at me.

I am sorry, forgive me.... I said to Ibrahim, as tears rolled down my eyes.

"Jesus Christ! You never for once told me you were engaged to Abel", he said painfully.

Please, forgive me, i pleaded in tears.

"That day you came back with Ibrahim, i secretly took pictures of both of you and sent it to him. I'm sorry, i was doing that so you and my cousin could be together. Ibrahim, was dying everyday because both of you were separated.
I am sorry for not telling you, i did it for your sake, he said to Ibrahim.

Ibrahim, sighed. This is so  surprising.... You never told me Abel was the one you wanted to marry, ha! Adeola, i thought we never hid anything from each other. Well, it's ok, it's okay."

Tears kept on rolling down my face.

"Please, forgive me", Kazeem said still crying.

"it's okay.." Ibrahim said. Kazeem, shook his head.

"Please, promise me you will forgive me for all i am about to say."  He kept on pleading till we both said agreed that we were going to forgive me.

"After both of you got married, I lost my job and Habibat i was supposed to get married to left me. You know her, he said to Ibrahim. I became envious of both of you at a time, i  don't know what came over me. Please, forgive me", he said as he cried out.

"I was the one who made Ibrahim to leave you and take Aliya in."

What......!!!! I exclaimed. Tears that were coming from my eyes increased as i flashed back to the day i packed my things, leaving.

Ibrahim, was looking at Kazeem in a confused manner.

"I... I.... I...went ..to... a....a...an..old man who did something.... something.....for... Ibrahim not to love you."

WHAT!!!! We both exclaimed. We were both shocked.

"Kazeem, how could you be this wicked? What did I do to you? He said to Kazeem, as tears rolled down his face.
 
"I'm sorry, forgive me", Kazeem said, crying.

Haaaaaaa! Ibrahim yelled out.

"I am sorry, forgive me, forgive me. Aliya is my girlfriend", Kazeem said.

Me and Ibrahim both looked at ourselves with our mouth wide opened. 

"Forgive me please. I gave part of what the old gave me to Aliya to work on you. That was why when she added you on Facebook, you accepted her and fell in love with her. As i didn't have money our plan was that she will exact enough money from
you while dating you. Our plan was to use the money to get married and start our life again. I was the one who made Aliya force you to make you and her travel to South Africa."

I flashed back to when Bayo took Johnson and i to South Africa. I remember the picture  Ibrahim posted of he and Aliya outside the country.
"So it was South Africa they went to", i said to myself.

"Three days before you and Aliya came to S.A , i was already there."

"So you betrayed me. You came to my house, i introduced you to Aliya as my cousin. Both of you exchanged contacts.  I was so foolish, i was fool. No wonder Aliya kept on chatting with you all the time, i thought all was because you were my cousin, because you are not anymore", Ibrahim said, painfully in tears, feeling betrayed.

"The next day you both were to leave to Nigeria, i drove to the hotel to take her night. I was the one she came to stay with. We were so happy that we had made enough money from you, but Aliya never made me to spend a bit out of the money. I still kept on renewing what the old man gave to me that's why after Aliya left and you went back to Nigeria you weren't still concerned about seeing your wife."

Haaaaaaaaaaaa! Ibrahim screamed, painfully.

I couldn't believe Kazeem could do such. Tears kept on rolling down my face. "I am still sorry for what  i am about to say.." Kazeem said.

Ibrahim and i looked at him like ' so you still have more to say.'

"Please..... forgive me. I ....I.....I...."

"You are what?" Ibrahim asked him with so much anger.

"I....I.....I...am res...."

"Will you speak out?  Ibrahim said, in anger. I begged Ibrahim to calm down. 

"I ....am.... responsible.... for... for..you...you...you . you being arrested for carrying hard drugs."

It was a very great shock to Ibrahim and i. Our eyes and month were wide opened. I wanted to speak but no words came out, because i was still in shock.
 
"Please, forgive me", he cried out. Have been into many evil deeds for money. You told me where you were traveling. It was a planned work for the drug to to be hidden in your bag, unknowingly to you. I called you that day and you told me the name of the hotel you checked in. Two of my friends checked into that hotel . One of them was the one who pretend to be a cleaner. He was pretending to clean your room. When you left the hotel to go get something, it was then he put the drugs in your travel box. We have been into drug dealing. The old man is the one who gives us what we use so we don't get caught. There is a certain  amount of drug we can only take, we wanted to make more money that is why some were hidden in your box. Our plan was that my friends will take the drugs from you once they got there, but unfortunately you were caught. I'm sorry. Your phone was taken from your bag in the hotel, my friends came out of the hotel to give it to me. You once told me the password of your phone is your wife's second name, with that I was able to open it. I got access to your account as i am also into Yahoo plus. I transferred the money in your account into five different accounts. 

"Ibrahim, had thought his money was taken over there. Because they asked of almost everything about him even how account details when he was arrested.

"I'm sorry, i did that all for the sake of money.  I had feelings for your wife, that's why when my friends wanted to help you get out of prison, i told them not to. I thought you would be gone so I could have full access to your wife", he said, as he was crying.

Ibrahim, anger grew worse he wanted to punch Kazeem with so much anger but i stopped him. I was begging him to calm down. Tears were flowing down our eyes.

Kazeem, was pleading that we should forgive him. He said he still had another confession.

"That's actually the first time. I was the one with my friends who broke into your house on that night when your wife was shot."

We were both shocked to the depth.

"I asked you for money but you refused to give me, and you know i had no job. The old man gave me a substance before that day. The substance was to make your wife love him, and he said the only it could work was if i rubbed it on her arm. I wanted money and i also wanted your wife to love me that's why i carried out such act.  I didn't have any intention of killing your wife, a friend of mine was the one who shot her. I was very angry that night, on our way going home i shot him dead. The next day I came to your house and I saw a lady she  said her  name  is Mariam. I asked about you from her, she told me you were taken to the hospital and that you were in coma.  We both exchanged contact.  I gave her fifty thousand naira and i left. When she told me you are alive i was so happy. I couldn't come because you were still looking for your son.  When noticed the substance didn't work on you, that's when i planned for Ibrahim to send your away so i could have you to myself. When you all thought he was dead, i told you the day I came that day, because i had not been in Lagos. I had to travel to another state when I heard the police were looking for my gang and I. I thought I could have my way with you that day, but you stabbed me.  I was so angry. I wanted to take revenge by killing you.

Jesus Christ! I said, still in tears.
I recalled Kazeem's statement on that day ... "you will pay for this with your blood."
 
Just then Aliya came in. She was shocked to see both of us.

"Aliya", Ibrahim called her name with so much anger, pointing a finger at her as he was panting heavily.

Kazeem, continued what he was saying....
"I came the next night with my gang. We came in through the fence. w
When we got inside, we searched and searched but we found no one. It was later i got to know my Aunty sent you away from the house that day, because i told her what you did to me." Kazeem, said crying.
He was pleading and crying that we should forgive him.

Ibrahim, pushed me from holding him. He wanted to punch Kazeem the second time, i came to his front immediately, and his hand landed on my head. I fell down and passed out.


PART 106
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

When i opened my eyes, everywhere was dark. 

"Where am i?" I wondered.
"Why is everywhere dark?" I asked myself.
I touched my eyes to be sure nothing was covering my eyes.
I heard Ibrahim's voice talking to someone.

Ibrahim, i called him.

"Adeola!" He said.

I felt his hands on me.

Where are you? I asked him.

I am here na, he replied.

Where are we? I asked him.

"In the hospital", he said.

I know but why is this hospital very dark?

Dark...? How?

I can't see anything. Is it night?

"You can't see anything..how? What are you saying? This is afternoon, this is 2:05pm."

Afternoon....but i can't even see you.

"You can't see me.?"

Ibrahim, i can't.

"Adeola, please stop this."

Stop what? I said i can't see anything everywhere is dark.

"Jesus Christ! He exclaimed. This can't be happening!"

Don't tell me it's what i am thinking, i said fearfully, as tears filled my eyes.

"Adeola, please don't just go there. God forbid."

Then what could be happening? Why can't i see? Why is everywhere dark? I asked him, as tears rolled down my eyes.

He rubbed his hands on my eyes.

"I am here, see me here."

Ibrahim, i can only hear and feel you, i can't see you.

"Jesus Christ!"

Don't tell me i am blind, don't tell me i can't see anymore, i said, as my tears increased.

"God....Noooo! It can't be! Let me go call the doctor. Please, don't cry. I will be back", he said, leaving.

When i heard the sound of the door open i called his name.

Ibrahim....I called out his name, in tears.

"Adeola, please don't cry. Put that thought off your mind now, ok. I will be back."

Nooo.... am not blind, nooo God, God no, i said, as i cried out.

I was examined and so on. The doctor said i had lost my sight for seeing, and the only solution was for an  operation to be carried out on my eyes, and the chances of me surving the operation was 50/50. Which meant like it's possible i die or leave. She said the way i was hit by my husband was the cause.

"Oooo! God.....God.... God...why.... why.. why did this happen", Ibrahim cried out.
Why...? Why....? why?.... That was what he kept on saying, as he was sitting close to me, while i was lying on the bed.  
I used my hand to look for his face, i felt tears running down his face.
I myself also i was in tears. I never imagined being blind in my life.

"Adeola, i am sorry, i am sorry, i am sorry", he said, cyring.

Ibrahim, you have nothing to be sorry about. It wasn't your fault, i said.

"Adeola, i am the one. I caused it, oh nooo!"

Ibrahim, please don't put the blame on yourself, you are not the cause of this.

I was shedding tears in pains of me being blind. I wished it was a dream, but it wasn't, it was real.  Ibrahim, himself was so hurt and pained, saying he was the cause.

Ibrahim, i want to go for the operation. I can't remain blind, no, i said in tears.

He kept mute.

I know you don't have the money, i have it to pay. I want to see again, i cried out.

He held my hand and placed his other hand on my face.

"Adeola, i know. I also want you to see again. I am full of regrets right now, if i knew i would have stayed calm as you told me too. Anger just took over me, i couldn't control myself. O God! O God!.... " He cried.

Please, don't let my family know about this, i don't want anything that will put them in panic.

"I have heard you.   My mom called me, she and my dad went to see Kazeem today. I told them what happened and they said they will be here soon."

You told your parents am here..?

"Yes, she asked and i told her."

Ibrahim... your mom asked about me.

"Yes with my dad also."

 Your mom asked of me?

"Yes, she did."

It's well. I know God will see me through the operation, i said, as tears kept on rolling down my face.

"Adeola, do you understand that the chances of you surviving the operation is 50/50. You might lose your life, Adeola", he said. 

I know, but i know God won't let me lose my life. I just want to see again. I want to see.....

"Adeola, I can't let you go for the operation. I won't sign in for that, no."

Why....?

"I love you, i can't let you risk your life, i can't. I love you, i don't want you to leave me. I don't want you to die. No!"

I felt his tears dropped on my chest.

"God why? Why from one pains to another. God i know you are seeing me, why are you letting me go through all this? God why did you watch Kazeem do all this to us?" I said in my mind, as tears the kept on flowing.

Suddenly, i felt like someone was talking to me, i didn't hear any sound but i could feel it loud in my mind....

_Daugther, your life is for my glory_ that's what i heard.

I was blind, what i never imagined or thought could happen  to me in my life. I was feeling the pains deep in me, i couldn't stop shedding tears.

After some hours, his parents arrived.



PART 107
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

His parents asked him what happened to me, he told them.

I heard his parents talking  about Kazeem's  confession, and sobbing at the same time.

"I never knew that boy could be this wicked to us", his mom said, sadly.

Aye (life) .......his dad said, sadly.

Ibrahim, sighed heavenly.

"He must rot in jail! He must pay for all his evil", his dad said.

"Kazeem! Kazeem! Haaa, haaa, haaa", his mom said, her voice sounded like she was crying already.

It was a sad moment. My tears could not stop flowing.
Who could have ever thought or imagined for once that Kazeem, was behind all that happened.
This world is just something else filled with wicked people. I flashed back to all the pains i had been through. From one pains to another, i named it "MY PAINS", on that day, as i cried.

The next day i was discharged. His dad told us to come home with them, he pleaded. I told Ibrahim to agree as he was pleading, he reluctantly agreed and we all left.

When we got home, the maid prepared food for us to eat.

"Food is served on the dinning, let's go to eat", Ibrahim said, as he wiped my tears.

He held my hand, as we walked to the dinning.

"Sit down here", he said, helping me to sit on the chair.
"This the food", he said as he shifted the plate close to my hands that were on the table.

What food is this? I asked him. He sighed and told me.
I want to drink water first, i said, searching for a cup of water on the table with my hands.

"This is it", Ibrahim said, as he placed the cup of water close to my lips, to drink.

"It's well", his dad said.  I heard his mom sigh.

As we were eating Ibrahim spoke....

"The food is on table and on your cloth, let me feed you", he said.

I felt so ashamed of myself, i got up angrily, walking away. I forget there were stairs to walk down from the dinning to the sitting room. I fell on the floor, i screamed out in pains. I heard them run after me. Ibrahim, was the one who lifted me up.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"I hope you are fine?" His dad asked.

I didn't hear his mom say anything. Ibrahim, helped me to sit on a chair.

"Why did you leave angrily ? See what you caused yourself", he said quite angry.

The tears in my eyes began to flow down my face.

"Why are you crying?" His dad asked.

"Is it because of what i said? Please, i am sorry", Ibrahim pleaded.

When it was a week time for Johnson to return, Ibrahim went to my parents house to bring him. We didn't want Johnson to know the truth that i was blind. He noticed the way i had been, he kept on asking, but we covered up with lies. Johnson, was surprised that his grandmother had changed from the way she used to treat me. Although, she didn't speak to me, she didn't do anything to hurt me.
"May be she feels for me that i am blind", i thought to myself. I kept on telling Ibrahim i wanted to go for the eye operation but he never agreed.

Ibrahim, i can see you don't love, i said to him, in tears.

"Baby please do not ever say that. You know i love you."

No, Ibrahim, you don't, because if you do you won't want me to be blind forever, you will want me to go for the operation", i said to him, as i was crying.

"I know i am the cause of this. I wished i had listened to you and stayed calm as you said. Am not happy you are in this condition. Every single minute i keep on regretting my action. I love you, i just can't watch you risk your life for that operation. Adeola, please understand", he pleaded.

I don't want to understand anything. I want to see again, ok.

"Please understand, please."

I'm not, i am not, i said to him, crying.

"Remember the chances of you surviving is 50/50, which means you may die or live. I love you, please."

You do not. There are people who had lesser chances of surviving an operation, yet they still survived. God is on my side, i know i will survive it.

"Adeola, no, i won't let you go", he said.

Ibrahim, i hate you.. i said to him, crying.
He removed his hands from mine. I felt my statement really broke his heart. He kept mute. 

"To prove to you that i love you, i will let you go for the operation, but just know that if you don't make it, i will end up committing suciude. Life isn't worth living without you, you are my life. I love you."

I felt so touched by what he said. I stretched my hand, looking for his face. When i touched his face, i felt tears on his face.
You are crying? I asked him, still in tears.

"Why won't i? Do you think i am happy seeing you in this condition i put you because of my temper."

I shifted close to him, and we both hugged each other tightly.
I decided to forget about the operation.

Living without out seeing wasn't an easy thing for me. Johnson, got to know one day and he cried. I understood the pains of those who couldn't see. I understood what they meant by _if you have nothing to thank God about, thank God you can use your eyes to see._
No day passed that i didn't shed tears in pains. Do you know how it felt? I couldn't do things i could anymore. I couldn't see the world. I couldn't see the morning sun neither could i see the moon nor the starts.  I couldn't see my husband and my son. I could only feel and hear things.

One day Ibrahim walked into the room and saw me smiling.

Dear.. I said.

"You are smiling?" He asked surprisingly.

Yes, i am, i said.

"You look so happy. Tell me ..", he said.

Tell you what? I asked.

"You can see now, right?" He asked.

I smiled the more.

"Tell me", he said happily.



PART 108
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

I can't see, i said sadly.

He came and sat on the bed with me. 

You saw me smiling because have decided to make myself happy again.

"I'm sorry for all what i made you go through. I am the cause of this."

Please, don't remind me again. Don't make me cry again. You are not the cause, you didn't cause anything. Kazeem, was the cause, i said, as tears rolled down my eyes.

He whipped my tears.

I have decided to accept my fate. As long as their is life there is hope. My greatest joy is that you are alive. I won't have been able to survive it if you had died.

"Don't cry please. You saved my life, if not of you i would have been gone, and i caused you this. Every minute i die slowly when i see you this way. I keep on regretting, if i knew i would have listened to you and stayed calm. I am sorry."

Stop saying you caused it, it wasn't your fault. 

"No matter what happens, i love you. We will go through this together. I will always be by your side when you need me and when you do not. I will do all for you. No one can ever replace you in my life. You are wonderful. I love you so much. We will grow old together. I love you."

I love you too ...

We both hugged each other, as tears were flowing down my face.

It wasn't easy but day by day i was becoming strong.

Ibrahim, always fed me. He was there to do anything i wanted. He helped me moving around the house. Every evening he took me out on a stroll. We listened to music together.  He was always by my side to make me smile. As time went on i became stronger and adapted to living blind.

I talked to Ibrahim about forgiving Kazeem.....

I know what Kazeem did was evil, it cost us a lot, but we should be greatful to God, who kept us alive. You have to forgive him.

"Please, please, let's end this discussion, please", Ibrahim said.

Please, you have to hear me out.

"Do you know what you are talking about ? Kazeem was the cause of why you went into coma, he was the cause of why Ahmed got missing, he was the cause of why i made you leave, he was the cause of why i was in cell, he was the cause of why i almost died, he was the cause of who made me do this to you! And here you are saying i should forgive him, never! " He said angrily.

He was the cause i know, but God saw us through that's why we are still alive. Even with all that God still says we should forgive. Holding grudges against him in your heart is sin.

"Hold it there please! The problem with you is that you have a soft and forgiving heart. You want me to help him out, i don't care if he killed the man or not he must rot in jail. He has to pay for all he did. Don't dare talk to me about this matter again! I am never going to forgive Kazeem, that is final!" He yelled at me angrily.

Am sorry....

"I am sorry for yelling at you", Ibrahim said.

it's okay....

"Forgive me please."

His parents didn't want us to leave, even when we wanted to. They even enrolled Johnson in a school. Everything in the house was going well, although his mom never spoke to me.

I was in the room when my phone rang, i was using my hand to search for the phone but i my hand could not locate it. 
Ibrahim, walked in.

"What are you searching for?" He asked.

My phone, it was ringing.

"Here is your phone", he said.

Who called me?

Let me check, he said. The phone started ringing.

Who is calling? I asked him.



PART 109
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

"Your mom", he said.

I sighed.

"I think it's time we let her know the truth, we can't keep hiding this from her", he said.

When she heard what happened she was very surprised and worried. She said she was going to come the next day.

We were still sleeping in the morning, when my phone rang and it woke us up. Abel, was the one who called. He said he had a dream, in the dream he saw my eyes  in a black liquid and i was crying in the dream with no eyes. We were shocked when he told us the dream. We told him what happened, he was surprised. He said the Holy Spirit had been telling him to come see us, we told him where we were, and he said he was going to come. He ended the phone call.

What kind of dream was that? I asked Ibrahim.

"I really don't know, let's wait till he comes", he said, and i sighed.

"You have to go back to sleep now, it's just 6:25am."

I can't sleep again,  said.

He relaxed me on the bed to sleep.

We were all in sitting room when the gate man came in and said someone named Pastor Abel was at the gate.

"Is he not the same pastor then?" I heard his dad asked.

"Yes", Ibrahim answered.

"How did he know we are living here?" His dad asked.

"He called this morning, that he was coming. So i sent the address to him", Ibrahim answered.

"Why ...."? His dad asked.

"Let him come in", Ibrahim said.

"Daddy, shey may i allow am? He say na pastor o", the gate man.

"I said let him in!" Ibrahim yelled angrily.

His mom sighed.

"Mommy, shey make i allow am?" The gate man asked.

"Will you get out of my sight!" Ibrahim's mom yelled.

"Am coming, let me go open the gate", Ibrahim said to him.

My phone started ringing. Ibrahim, answered the call. 

"Please, don't be angry. I will be at the gate soon", he said.

"Where do you think you are going?" His mom asked.

He didn't answer her.

"Will you stop there!" His mom yelled at him. 

"Mommy, jhor o! Jhor! (Please!) Don't start this again! Please! If so my family and i will leave your house and you won't find us again!" He yelled angrily.

"Please, calm down just let him go and open the gate", his dad said.

His mom calmed down.

Abel came with  other people. They greeted his parents and they replied.  My phone started ringing.

"Your mom is calling", Ibrahim said and he answered the call.

What did she say? I asked.

"She's around here, she's finding it difficult to locate here."

Do you know where she is?

"Yes, i know. It's not far from here at all. Stay calm, i am coming, ok."

Ok, i said.

"Please sir, don't be angry. I will be back soon",  he said to Abel.

"No problem", he said.

Please, be fast, i said to Ibrahim.

"Yes, i will", Ibrahim said.

Abel came closer to me, talking to me quietly. I asked him about Joyce, he said she went for a meeting to represent him. He said he had to take his time to come because the Holy Spirit had been telling him to. He asked me how everything happened. I was telling him when Ibrahim walked in with my mom.
  
"My daughter, what happened to you? How did it happen?" She asked me.

Mommy....I said as tears rolled down my eyes.

Suddenly, there was silence.

What's happening? I asked Ibrahim.

"Your mom and Abel are looking at each other. I think they remembered", Ibrahim said.

"Oh! They still recognized each other",  i said in my mind.

I flashed back to the day i introduced Abel to my mom.

There was still silence.

"You are the one who wanted to marry my daughter, and you later left her. What are you doing here?" My mom said.

"Yes! Pastor, what are you doing here in my house!" Ibrahim's mom yelled at Abel.


PART 110
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

"Are you not the one i am taking to!" She yelled at Abel.

"Mommy!! Kiloshele! Koleshele ghon! What's your problem!" Ibrahim yelled at his mom angrily.

"Is it me your mother you are taking to!" His mom yelled back at him in anger.

"Yes you!" He replied.

'paaah' I heard a slap. His mom slapped him.

"What do you want from my daughter again?" My mom asked Abel.

"Oh! God, please take control", I prayed in my mind, in fear.

"Mommy, you just slapped me?" Ibrahim said.

"Yes! I am your mother! If you don't respect yourself i will slap you again!" She yelled.

"Mommy, i never expected this from you! I thought you had changed from all this religion issues!" Ibrahim said.

"Are you stupid! Is something wrong with your head! We are Muslims and    we still stand on our background! I have been keeping quite because I didn't want you to leave, and also because i pity this blind thing." His mom said. Tears rolled down my eyes.

"Who did you call a thing? My own daughter!" My mom yelled at her.

I was begging Abel not to leave. He said he won't, that the Holy Spirit had revealed to him it will be that way, but he must be patient.

"Yes! Your daughter who forced herself to marry my daughter!" His mom yelled at my mom.

"My own daughter......." Ibrahim cut her off immediately.

"Mommy, she didn't force me to marry her, ok! Know that! And don't you ever refer to my wife as a thing again, never! Put yourself in her position would have been able to endure all what she passed through all because of that your evil nephew Kazeem, and all your ill treatment towards her! Yet she still forgave you! If I am the one i will never forgive you! Respect my wife!"

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeh", his mom yelled.

"Yes! It's because of my wife i got to where i am. Have you forgotten then, that i was almost giving up on school in my final year, if not of her help i would have given up! Please, respect my wife ok!"

His mom sighed heavily.

"Ibrahim! Respect yourself, you are talking to your mother, know that boy! Your mother is right we are still Muslims."

"See! I don't care! I am alive because of this pastor prayer."

"Will you shut up!" His dad yelled at him angrily. You had better thank Almighty Allah for saving your life....." His mom cut him off.

"Instead of saying rubbish!" She said and hissed angrily.

"You see! Didn't I warn you! Didn't I" My mom yelled at me angrily.

I was crying. 

" Your eyes are cleared now you have learnt your lessons", my mom said to me angrily

"You were in support of me marrying Aliya, and what did it turn into at the end! Tell me! You had been telling me to divorce my wife! Is that a good advise a mother is supposed to be giving her son!"

"O my God! So she had been advising Ibrahim to divorce me", i said in my mind, as tears were rolling down my face.

"You had been advising me to divorce her and keep Ahmed, because you know i was destined to only have one child. Is that a good advise a good mother is supposed to be giving! Can't there be peace even if we don't practice the same religion!"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up there", his mom yelled at him angrily.

"Yes, shut up!" His dad yelled at him angrily.

"And you pastor leave my house with your people now! You are not welcomed!" His mom yelled at Abel with so much anger.

"He is not going anywhere!" Ibrahim yelled.

"In my own house ... You must be stupid!" His dad yelled.

"And so! You begged us to come stay here, so you will be seeing me everyday to  be sure nothing happens to me. If both of you are not careful i have told you, my family and i will leave, and you will never find us. I can see that's what both of you want!"

"What kind of son did you turn into!" His dad yelled.

"Don't question me! Let the Pastor do what he has to come to do!" Ibrahim said.

"I should not question you! Do you realize i am your father and you are in my house!" His dad yelled at Ibrahim angrily.

"Not in my own house this Pastor or whatever will do what he has come to do!" His mom said.

"I can see you have fully forgotten who you are!" His dad yelled angrily.

"Pastor, di de! (Get up!) Get away now!"

"Please ma, take this easy..." Abel said.

"Did you just hold my hand!" His mom yelled.

"Mommy! Do you realize what you just wanted to do, slap a man of God! "

"And so what!!" His dad yelled in anger.

Suddenly, everyone became calm as I heard footstep of someone walking in.

I wondered what was happening.
There was total silence. Ibrahim, came closer to me.

What's is happening? I asked him.

"Mariam, is here", he said calmly.

Who is Mariam? I asked.

"Mariam, my mom and i sent away from our house then", he said calmly.

I flashed back to the day Mariam was sent packing away, when she was pregnant.

Everyone was calm. Mariam, didn't say a word.



PART 111
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

I am sure everyone was staring at her.

She greeted Ibrahim's parents, but they didn't respond to her. She  greeted Ibrahim and i, Ibrahim didn't answer her, but i did.

Mariam, i called her.

"Aunty mi", she responded, and i sighed.

How are you? I asked her.

"I no fine at all o. I dey try to reach you since but e no go. I dey fear to come since", she said. Her voice sounded like someone who was almost crying.

Mariam, it's a long story, i said in tears.

After some few mintues, i observed  she was crying.

"What's going on here?" Ibrahim's mom asked.

Mariam, are you crying? I asked her.

"Ejhor, e sha nu mi (please, have mercy on me)", Mariam, pleaded. 

Mariam, you didn't offend me, i don't hold any grudges against you, i said.

"Please.... E sha ni mi", she pleaded as she cried out loudly.

 I heard Ibrahim's mom hiss loudly.

"Forgive you for what?" Ibrahim's dad asked, as she was still pleading.

"Daddy, mommy, brother mi, aunty mi,  ejhor e da ri ji mi (please, forgive me)", Mariam, pleaded as she was crying out loudly.

"Forgive, you for what you did to yourself!" Ibrahim yelled at her.

"No......Jhor.... I am sorry. Aunty mi, i am sorry", Mariam pleaded.

"What exactly do you want?" Ibrahim asked her angrily.

"Forgive me...jhor , jhor.... Since my life no dey go well."

"And how had that go to do with us? Ibrahim's mom asked her angrily.

"Please...... Forgive me.... I no say e no go easy to forgive me. They say make i con tell the truth, but i dey fear for my life since."

"What truth?" Ibrahim asked her immediately.

"Yes, what truth", his mom said.

"Please......jhor.....
Forgive me....." Mariam pleaded, as she cried out deeply.

"Will you speak out now!" Ibrahim yelled at her angrily.

Dear, take it easy, please, i said to Ibrahim that was beside me.

"I lost my pregnancy that time, and he leave me alone since", she said as she cried. I felt so much pity for her.

"Is that what you have come to tell us. How is that my business!" Ibrahim's yelled at her.

"Will you get away now!" Ibrahim's mom yelled at her angrily.

"Daddy, e jhor, e jhor(daddy please)" Mariam pleased.

"Get away! Are you deaf! Do I look like your parents! " His mom yelled.

"Please.... I never talk am finish, i still won say something", Mariam said.

"And will you talk now!" Ibrahim, yelled at her angrily.

Take it easy, let her talk, i said to Ibrahim.

Mariam, talk....I said to her.

"Aunty mi, jhor.... forgive me", she pleaded.

She kept on crying, without saying a word.

"Will you talk, and don't waste our time here!" Ibrahim's dad yelled with so much anger.

Mariam, confessed that she knew Kazeem, was the one who came to our to  house to rob us on that night.  She said she was still watching TV that night in the sitting room when they entered, and the mask on Kazeem face got loosed. They recgonized each other as they are both seen in Ibrahim's parents house one year she came to spend the ileya festival. She said he threatened her that if she exposed the truth he won't exsitate to get her killed. That was the reason she afraid to say the truth. She also said she saw it on TV that Kazeem had been arrested, but she had still been afraid to come tell us the truth, because she didn't know how we might take it. She said she went to our house she met someone living there so she took up the courage to come to Ibrahim's parents house, and she was surprised to see us.

We were all shocked.
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.... was what i was saying.

"Mariam! So you knew!" Ibrahim, yelled at her in great anger.  

Be calm please, I said to Ibrahim.

"No, leave me alone!" Ibrahim yelled at me.

"Please, be calm. You can't lay your hands on a lady", Abel said.

Dear, please don't beat her, please be calm, i said to Ibrahim, as tears were rolling down my face, in pains.

"She knew Kazeem was behind that, and she never told us", i kept on saying in my mind as tears were rolling down my eyes in pains.

Please, calm down. Don't do anything to her you will regret. It wasn't her fault, Kazeem threatened her, i said to Ibrahim.

"God, God, God,......" Ibrahim kept on saying.

"Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!......." Was what his mom was saying.

"The world his full of evil people! People, we never imagine could be the one are the ones most times, and the ones will think could be are most times not", Ibrahim's dad said painfully.

"Yes....", Abel said, and sighed.

"Didn't i warn you!" Was all my mom was saying to me, painfully.

"Please... jhor e sha ni mi", Maraim still kept on pleading as she was crying.

"You are evil! Get away from my house! I don't want to ever see you again!" Ibrahim's mom yelled at Mariam in great anger. Her voice sounded like she was in tears also.

"Get out....!!" She yelled again.

"Haaaaaaaaa!" Mariam screamed out in pains.

"Please ma, don't hit her again. We are not to condemn sinners", Abel said.

I was pleading for Mariam to be forgiven.

Ibrahim's parents and Ibrahim were against her, they wanted to leave, but Mariam still kept on begging to be forgiven.
His mom called the gate man to drag her out of the house. As the gate man was dragging her, she was still pleading for forgiveness. I was talking to Ibrahim to forgive her but he didn't say a word. I placed my hand on his face, his face was wet with tears.
His parents were yelling on top of their voices, as Mariam was still crying and pleading.

Suddenly, everyone became calm again.

What is happening again? I asked Ibrahim.

He kept mute.

Talk to me na, I said to Ibrahim. 

He didn't say a word.

Ibrahim, talk to me na. It is because i am blind, i said , as tears were rolling down my face. I wished i could see.

"Kazeem and Aliya are here", he said.


PART 112
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

"What do you want here?" Ibrahim's dad asked with so much anger.

"We here to say sorry", I heard Aliya say.

"Sorry indeed! You this witch!" His mom yelled with so much anger in her.

"Ma, please i am sorry", Aliya pleaded.

"What have you come for! To reck my son's life again!" Ibrahim's mom yelled.

She still kept on pleading.

"If you know what's good for two of you, both of you should get out from here right now", she yelled at the top of her voice in a greater anger.

Kazeem, started pleading.

"Don't you dare beg me! Kazeem! Iwo! You that i raised as my own child, you!"

"Mummy, e ma bi nu jhor. It's not like that", Kazeem pleaded.

"You heard my wife both of you should leave here now!" Ibrahim's dad yelled.

I was begging Ibrahim to cool down.

"I never expected this from you, Kazeem!" His dad yelled.

"Both of you are evil!" His mom yelled.

"I am not evil", Kazeem said.

Kazeem, was released because the police found out the real people who actually killed the man they accused him of killing.

Aliya and Kazeem kept on pleading as Ibrahim's parents kept on shouting at them angrily. I didn't hear Mariam say a word at all. Abel, and the other men were pleading but they didn't stop yelling at both of them in anger. My mom didn't really understand what was happening. Tears kept rolling down my eyes as i was remembering the pains i had passed through. I never imagined Kazeem could be the one behind all. 

"Mommy, daddy, i will go, e ma worry. But I have a confession to make."

Everyone became calm.

"Please, forgive me", Kazeem said to me.

I didn't say a word tears were just rolling down my eyes.

"Please..... Forgive me! I did all out of jealousy to have you. The truth is that i loved you more than i love Aliya", Kazeem said.

"What....!!" Aliya exclaimed. Kazeem....ki lo sor....(what did you say?)

"Aliya, i only used you as a source of getting money, and you were good at it that's why i loved you", Kazeem said.

"Haaaaaaa! Kazeem....! You .. you..you never loved me", she broke down, crying out loudly.

"Please, have mercy on me. Something started it, please have mercy on me", Kazeem kept on pleading.

Kazeem, only God can have mercy on you, i said in tears and pains.

"But you still have to forgive me.... The truth is that, Ibrahim is not the cause of why you are blind."

I sighed. Yes it was a mistake, it's not his fault, i said.

"No... it's me, i am sorry. After i didn't see you that day i came to your house, i was so angry, i still wanted to take revenge. I went to an old man to help me take revenge. He said there were two options, i chose to make you blind."

God.....!!!! I yelled out in shock. 

Jesus.....! Ibrahim Kazeem you..! Ibrahim yelled.

"Lord Jesus, have mercy", Abel said.

"He told me you were still in an hotel, he told be soon you will be packing, he told me the address of the place you will pack to. He said in order for people not to suspect, he gave me a black portion to drink that when i see you and leave in some few hours you will become. But I couldn't come because I had to be away,  SARS were looking for me. That's why i warned Ibrahim not to come with you", he said, his voice sounded like someone that was crying.

Kazeem.....what did I do to you? I asked him, as i was crying.

"Kazeem, you will pay for all you cost my family and i. I will make sure you go back to jail", Ibrahim said.

"Please, have mercy on me. The only way  he told me you can see is if i mix the black portion with salt and water, but...."

"But what?!" Ibrahim yelled at him immediately.

"I'm sorry, before i got the hotel i do live,  i found out that the black portion had poured and dried up, it was very little."

Haaaaaaaaaaa, no! I screamed out, in tears.

Out of anger Ibrahim started punching Kazeem. I heard the sound so loud as Kazeem was pleading. Abel was talking to him to stop.

"You deserve to die!" Ibrahim yelled.

"Kazeem, haaaaa! You are an evil child!" Ibrahim's dad yelled at him.

"I will make sure you go back to that jail, where you belong to!" Ibrahim yelled at him in anger.

I was just crying.

"Kazeem, you are a devil!" Ibrahim's mom yelled at him.

"I am not a devil", he said.

'paaaaah' she slapped Kazeem."Devil!" She yelled at him.

"Kazeem, be ready to go back to jail, you can't escape all the evil you did!" Ibrahim yelled at Kazeem.

"Yes, i will go to jail with your mother", Kazeem said.

"How dare you say such!" Ibrahim yelled at him.

"Kazeem, are you talking to me!" Ibrahim's mom yelled.

"Yes you! Because, you are the cause of all what i did! I still have the record", Kazeem said to Ibrahim's mom.

I was deeply shocked, am sure everyone else was also shocked. 

"My mom was the cause, how? And what record are you talking about?" Ibrahim asked Kazeem.

"Ask this mother of yours", Kazeem said.

"Mommy, what is he talking about?" Ibrahim asked his mom.

She kept mute.

"Mommy.." Ibrahim called her again.


PART 113
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

"Aisha, what is Kazeem talking about?" Ibrahim's dad asked his wife.

"I do not know what he is talking about", she replied.

Kazeem, laughed out.

"You know, think some years back", Kazeem said.

"What exactly are you talking about!" Ibrahim yelled at him.

"Ask this mother of yours who called me a devil, where by she is the main devil herself", Kazeem said.

"Kazeem, you call me a devil! Me who raised you up!" Ibrahim's mom yelled in so much anger.

"Mommy, what is Kazeem talking about now!" Ibrahim yelled.

"She can't say it, i will say it", Kazeem said.

"Kazeem, talk now", Ibrahim's dad said.

"Some years ago, when i came to visit,  this woman here told me she was very angry that your wife changed into christianity. I told her that doesn't matter , she said it really mattered. She really hated your wife. That your wife tricked her in to getting married to you. To cut the long  story short, she said if you were to be dead she would be so happy because she hated seeing a christian married to her son. I tried talking to her to calm down but she didn't. She said if i could do anything to separate your wife from  you, I should. She gave me the go ahead to do all i did."

"Aisha......!" Her husband yelled her name.

"Mommy ......so you were behind all that happened", Ibrahim said.

"No...", She said.

"No.. how!" Ibrahim yelled at her.

"You can't deny you said that, because i recorded all you said on that day, and i still have the record well kept till today", Kazeem said.

"I am sorry...I know I said that, but i wasn't the one who told Kazeem to do all what he did, i never knew he was behind all that. I am your mother why would i want evil to happen to my only son....why?...of what gain....", Ibrahim's mom said. Her voice sounded like she was shedding tears already.

"You are still the cause, you caused all what i did also. You said you were going to kill her yourself if she didn't leave your son", Kazeem said.

"Haaaaaa, mommy!" Mariam yelled.

" Mommy....! You said that! Ibrahim yelled.

"Aisha, so is this who you really her...." Ibrahim's dad said.

"No.....I only said that because i was angry, i never meant to kill her", she said.

"I started to reason, Adeola is a good woman a man would want to take as a life partner, as I l kept on reasoning that i started to develop feelings for Adeola. I know she loves Ibrahim well and she won't be ready to leave him no matter the circumstances, and  I didn't want  want this woman to kill her to kill as she said, that's why i thought of what i did, I felt that was the only way i could save Adeola from her. I only did those things to take revenge over the way Adeola treated me. Adeola, please forgive me i am sorry", Kazeem pleaded.
 
"Haaaaaa! God!" Ibrahim yelled.

"I am sorry...I only said that because i was angry, i didn't mean to kill her, why would i ever do such", Ibrahim's mom said.

"Really..? You had better make your true confession", Kazeem said.

"What confession again?" Ibrahim's dad asked.

"What confession?" Ibrahim yelled.

"Ask your mom", Kazeem said.

"Mommy...! You had better talk now!" Ibrahim yelled at her.

"I don't know what he is talking about", his mom said.

"Who is 'Baba ishe' ?" Kazeem asked.

"I don't know what he is talking about", she said.

"Oh! You don't know?" Ibrahim asked her.

"Yes, i don't know. Kazeem, just want you to hate me. I don't know who he is talking about", his mom said.

"If you don't know then why did you get shock when he mentioned that name?" Ibrahim asked his mom.



PART 115
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

"I will not", Ibrahim's mom said.

I knew that was going to be her answer. Abel asked Ibrahim's dad he disagreed also.

"Okay, let's pray now", Abel said.

"Not in my house!" Ibrahim's mom yelled.

"What is the meaning of that?!" Ibrahim yelled back at her.

"How dare you talk to us like that!" His dad yelled.

"So you think here is your own house, you can wish to do what you like!" His mom yelled in anger.

"Can we go elsewhere to have the prayer, please", Abel said.

"No!" Ibrahim yelled.
 
"What is 'no'!" His dad yelled.

"The prayer is taking place here, and none of you will stop that!" Ibrahim yelled.

"Ibrahim, do you forget these days that i am your mother!"

"A mother who didn't want the best for her son!"

"How dare you say such!" His mom yelled.

"A month i never believed could ever do such, and your husband is still supporting you", Ibrahim said.

It turned out in to big quarell,  his parents didn't want Abel and the other men to pray in their house.

"Mommy, be careful, otherwise...!" Ibrahim yelled.

"Otherwise, what will you do!" She yelled back at him.

"If both of you are not going to let the pastor pray, i will make sure i get the record from Kazeem and you will make sure you go to jail for planning such evil act with Kazeem!" Ibrahim yelled.

His parents didn't say a word.

"So it's better you choose!" Ibrahim yelled.

There was silence.

"Start the prayer now", Ibrahim said.

Abel, started my singing worship songs. I managed to sing along in tears and pains.

"Lord, why did you let me go through all this. Is this how i am going to be blind forever, God!" I said in my mind, as i kept on shedding tears.


PART 114
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

"Aisha, what is happening here?" Ibrahim's dad asked her.

She kept mute.

"Mommy!" Ibrahim yelled.

"It's not easy for her to say it. Baba ishe is a herbalist man, he is one of my gang father. I do hide in his house to escape some of my evil deeds. I was in his sitting room with my friend, baba ishe when i saw this woman from the widow coming in with a woman following her also, i was shocked to see her. I went left the sitting room immediately, but i stood where i could hear the whole conversation. This woman here told Baba ishe' that she wanted her own daughter in law to have a car accident that will make her become lame so she won't be able to walk again, so you would leave your wife. He asked her why, she said she hated  you because of your religion. To cut the story short, Baba asked for your picture, they exchanged contact and she transferred your picture to him through WhatsApp. He told her to come the next day for what to do. She dropped over 200k with him that day, and she left with her friend."

"Mommy...! Tell me this is not true, tell me!" Ibrahim yelled at her.

"Aisha, did you do such...", He asked her.

She kept mute.

"After she left, i told Baba ishe not to do what she asked for. He asked me why, i told him you were the same lady i had been trying to get through him. The next day when she arrived, he drove her away angrily and warned her if she ever try to make to attempt to kill you, she will die instant she gets up on her feet to do so. I saved your wife", Kazeem said.

"Don't you try to judge yourself well, you are evil too!" Ibrahim yelled at Kazeem.

"I know, and that's why am here to ask forgiveness",Kazeem said.

It was a big shock to me. I never imagined his mom hated me up to that extent. I was so speechless, tears were just rolling down my house, in pains." My mom was so angry she didn't take it lightly with Ibrahim's mom at all.

"I warned you! Didn't ! We are leaving now!" 

Just then Johnson ran in calling me, he was back from school. Johnson, kept on asking what was happening but no one answered him. Ibrahim, was begging my mom not to take me away from him.

"Your evil family here conspired against my own daughter and I never knew! You expect to still leave my own daughter! God forbid! Leave her till you kill her! God forbid! God didn't let that happen and it will never happen! We are going", my mom yelled on top of her voice with so much anger.

Mommy, please be patient, take things easy, i pleaded, in tears.

"Ohhh! I can see! So you want to stay! Don't let me call you a fool!" My mom yelled at me than ever.

Ibrahim, his dad, Abel  were begging my mom to calm down but she didn't not.

"Forgive me.. please... forgive me oo" , was all Ibrahim's mom was saying as she was crying.

After a while everyone was calm, apart from Aliya that was crying out loudly. I was in tears also but I was crying silently.

"I can now see well, why the Holy Spirit brought me here today, because today i can see what you see impossible becoming possible. You and your husband have to forgive these four people here despite what they have done, it's not easy but it takes the Spirit of God. When you do not forgive who has offended you it can cost you a lot. Even when Jesus Christ was nailed to the point at that point he still forgave those who nailed Him. When you don't forgive it's a bad spirit, and when you keep on not to forgive you keep on carrying that evil spirit in you which can lead to you you destroying yourself by not forgiving. It takes the grace of God to forgive in a situation, but when you call upon the Holy Spirit he will help you. The scripture says we must forgive and forget", Abel said.

"Forgive and forget...how is that possible me to forget what my mother and Kazeem did to me, pastor tell me how and you say it's a sin if i don't", Ibrahim said painfully.

"Ok, i try not to be too spiritual for everyone here to understand. I will try to break it down. "Forgive and forget" means we must set free away from our mind who has offended us. That doesn't mean we can't forget it's not possible it's in our memory. The word 'forget' means that we should let it go off our mind genuinely, we should not flash back and keep on rethinking what they did to us, because the more we do the more will feel bitter against them and that it's not a genuine forgiveness. It's just like a mother and child, if the child offends the mother badly even if the child doesn't say sorry, the mother still forgives the child and she forgets what the child did, and still be happy with the child. That's what it is to 'forgive and forget', but that doesn't mean if you ask the mother what the child did she wouldn't remember again, no.  For you to really forgive and forget what they did means you truly have to accept them, love them, cherish them, help them,  and still be there for them just like the beginning. By the time you are doing all that, even when you flash back to what they did to you, you won't feel bitter in your heart, even when you see them you will still be happy. That what the Bible means by "forgive and forget", don't let what they did keep on dwelling in you, forget it, just like the way a mother will always forgive a child and forget. Even Jesus forgives and forget that's why he said 'behold if any man be in Christ he is a new creater, old things are passed away and behold all things have become new.' When we surrender to Christ He accept us and loves us dearly, but that doesn't mean Christ forgets we were ones sinners, no, but our past life doesn't count to him any longer. Some people forgive, but they don't want to ever associate with who offended them, when they see such people they still feel bitter in their heart, that is because they haven't forgotten, they have not let it go off their. Like i said you need to call upon the Holy Spirit to help you 'fogive and forget'. When the Holy Spirit has helps you, you don't see who offended you as an evil person again, you begin to give such person joy, happiness, show them love, care, from your heart in fact you will love them again. That's is what it meant to 'forgive and forgotten.' Have you forgiven a fellow and till now you don't want to associate with such fellow because you still hate or dislike he or she then you haven't forgotten, and that is also a sin", Abel said.

Abel's word touched my heart deeply, am sure it touched everyone too, as everyone was so calm. Truly one had to forgive and forget. Unforgivness can hinder one's blessing from coming in. If Christ could forgive the people who nailed him to the cross, Christ forgives us our sin on daily basis then who are we not to forgive. Imagine, God didn't forgive one in day, what would happen. He died and shed his blood, so mercy from God could speak for us on daily basis, then who am i not to forgive and forget", i said in my mind, as tears rolled down my house. I could feel everyone was still touched by Abel's word.

"When one doesn't forgive and forget it can hinder ones prayers, and so does it when one doesn't ask mercy from. You and your wife now have to ask the Holy Spirit to help you forgive and forget what they have done to both of you", Abel said to Ibrahim and i.

 "Mommy, Kazeem, and you two ladies have to surrender your life to Christ and ask Him for mercy, so you can be saved", Abel said.

"I am ready...",Kazeem said.

"Mo ti ready..", Maraim said.

"Mommy, are you ready?" Abel asked Ibrahim's mom.

"She must be ready", Ibrahim said.

"It's not what you force someone to do, the person has to make up his or her mind", Abel said to Ibrahim.

What Abel said about "Forgive and forget", kept on ringing in my heart, it was deep.

"Mommy, are you ready to give your life to Christ now?" Abel asked Ibrahim's mom.


PART 117
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

Ibrahim's mom and his dad came closer to Abel, even Abel himself was so surprised.  

"We are sorry", his mom said, shedding tears. She was on her kneels, Abel told her to get up but she didn't.

"Forgive us", his dad said.

"Wait, are these my parents, or another people",Ibrahim asked me.

I smiled the more, i was astonished.

"I felt it, i felt it. When i was younger as i teenage then, i had a terrible dream. In the dream i was surrounded with four tiny snakes, a snake that had blue colour jumped into my mouth and i sallowed it in the dream. I woke up that night , i felt my throat was hooked, i started coughing and spitting. To cut down the story ever since then I have been been feeling serious pains in my stomach all the time. But as you were praying , i felt someone came to be, i don't know how it happened, but the person pulled the same blue snake out of my mouth. When i opened my eyes i didn't feel the pains anymore", she said as tears were rolling down her face.

"Glory be to God...." Abel kept on saying.

"I felt it too. My wife had been complaining of the pains ever since, till today. I felt it...", his dad said as he was sobbing.

They surrender their life to Jesus Christ. It was wonderful day. 

"You have saved my family so much. You healed my son, my daughter in law, me", his mom said.

"I didn't do anything, God did", Abel said.

"How can we pay you back. We are ready to pay any amount you call", his mom said as she was shedding tears.

"Yes..any amount i will pay now", his dad said.

"No, you don't have to do that, no. I'm working to get paid as you see it", Abel said.

"No, you can't say so", his mom said.

"I could sign a check of 8million naira for you, right", his dad said, as he rushed to go get his check book.

He came back with a check of eight million naria, giving it to Abel. Abel sighed.

"Please, accept it for yourself", his mom said.

"Yes, please", his dad pleaded.

"No, it won't be for me for the church. Glory be to God", Abel said.

"Hallelujah...!!!!" The men that came with Abel shouted Joyfully.

"God has answered. There is this out reach we have planning to do in all the states in Nigeria titled 'Jesus is calling you'. Our the things we needed to to to rent and  food to be cooked for people who will come all was rounded up at over 100 million, as of today it was remaining 8 million to complete it, and now it is", Abel said happily.

Wow...I said surprisingly.

"I never knew God was going to use you to complete His work, in fact our God works in a miraculous way", Abel said.

"We can help with even more than that", his mom said.

"Yes, we can", his dad said.

Abel preached to Ibrahim's parents, Kazeem, Aliya, and Mariam. He told them to find a Bible believing church to be attending, but Ibrahim's parents disagreed totally they said it was Abel church they wanted to be attending, Abel laughed.

"Mommy, daddy, is the same God", Abel said.

"Even though, it's your own church we want to be coming to", his mom said.

"Yes, that's were we want to be coming to", his dad said.

"Alright, that is very fine", Abel said.

Ibrahim's mom walked up to me.


PART 116
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

Before the worship started, Abel did a short prayer for Kazeem, Aliya and Mariam who agreed to surrender their life to Christ.

"Say, Lord Jesus, i came before you today. I accept that you died and rose again, you shed your precious blood on the cross of Calvary for my sake. Let your mercy speak for me,  accept me Lore as your Son / daughter",  They said it after Abel.

"In Jesus name", Abel said.

"Amen", they said.

"Amen", Abel said.

The worship was on for almost one hour, one could feel presence of the Lord everywhere. 

He started to sing a song by Steve Crown.....

_Holy Spirit, you are welcome. Fill this temple with your presence. Holy Spirit, you are welcome, fill this temple with your presence. We wait on you, Lord we wait on you, Lord we wait on you._

At that moment we were singing the song, i felt the presence of the Lord stronger. It was like in another realm already. It was like Heaven had come on earth. My right hand started shaking terribly.  My eyes were shut. I felt a power pulling me from the ground, i felt like i wasn't standing on the ground anymore, but i was standing on the air. Suddenly, i felt something strong came out of from my arm, Kazeem had rubbed something on then. I felt water was coming out from my hand, my whole hand was wet.  Someone was just screaming, i couldn't tell if it was Aliya or Mariam, but i cloud hear Kazeem voice shouting 'Jesus'.

I still continued singing the song along.

_Holy Spirit, you are welcome. Fill this temple with your presence. We wait on you_.................

Suddenly, i fell on kneels. It was i lost control over my mouth, for the first time i started speaking in tongue. My mouth was moving on it's on accord. I heard a loud scream from his mom. I was still speaking in tongue, it was like Ibrahim was interpreting all what i was saying.  I heard my mom shouting 'Holy Spirit!' It was like another world entirely.

"We can't doubt it, the Holy Spirit is here right now", Abel said.

The Holy Spirit really came down. I stopped speaking in tongue,but i could still feel the power of God all over me, as i was still shaking.

 "In any situation we are we overcome it by your word. Lord, it is written what you did not plant shall be uprooted. You didn't plant blindness in the eyes of your daughter, in the name Jesus by your power i command it to be uprooted now, in the name of Jesus!" 

"Amen....!"

Suddenly, i felt something stronger held my eyes, i started screaming. I was see deeper darkness than what i was seeing. Abel still kept on prohecying the word of God continuously. Later i started seeing something white, and blue, blue like the colour of the sky. Suddenly, i felt something was pouring out of my eyes.  I was calm. I opened my eyes, Lo and behold my sight had been restored. I was shocked, beyond words.

Ibrahim....I called him slowly.

He was looking at me.

"I... can..see...you", I said to him.

"You can see now!" My mom said immediately, surprised.

"Baby, you mean you can see me?" Ibrahim asked me.

Yes....I replied.

My mom screaming out in joyfully.

"Then, what am i on?" Ibrahim asked.

You on a white T-shirt, i replied. 

"Jesus...!!!" Ibrahim screamed out , surprisingly. He hugged me, we were both shedding tears.

I could see the surprise on everyone's face. Abel was glorify God.

And suddenly, the most shocking thing no one had ever imagined forever, happened. I was shocked to my bones. "Jesus....!" Ibrahim screamed out. More tears were rolling down our faces.


part 116 to the last part

[2/5, 9:47 PM] LIFE NOVELS: *PART 116*
*MY PAINS*
© *PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE*

Before the worship started, Abel did a short prayer for Kazeem, Aliya and Mariam who agreed to surrender their life to Christ.

"Say, Lord Jesus, i came before you today. I accept that you died and rose again, you shed your precious blood on the cross of Calvary for my sake. Let your mercy speak for me,  accept me Lore as your Son / daughter",  They said it after Abel.

"In Jesus name", Abel said.

"Amen", they said.

"Amen", Abel said.

The worship was on for almost one hour, one could feel presence of the Lord everywhere. 

He started to sing a song by Steve Crown.....

_Holy Spirit, you are welcome. Fill this temple with your presence. Holy Spirit, you are welcome, fill this temple with your presence. We wait on you, Lord we wait on you, Lord we wait on you._

At that moment we were singing the song, i felt the presence of the Lord stronger. It was like I was in another realm already. It was like Heaven had come on earth. My right hand started shaking terribly.  My eyes were shut. I felt a power pulling me from the ground, i felt like i wasn't standing on the ground anymore, but i was standing on the air. Suddenly, i felt something strong came out of from my arm, Kazeem had rubbed something on then. I felt water was coming out from my hand, my whole hand was wet.  Someone was just screaming, i couldn't tell if it was Aliya or Mariam, but i cloud hear Kazeem voice shouting 'Jesus'.

I still continued singing the song along.

_Holy Spirit, you are welcome. Fill this temple with your presence. We wait on you_.................

Suddenly, i fell on my kneels. It was like I had lost control over my mouth, for the first time i started speaking in tongue. My mouth was moving on it's on accord. I heard a loud scream from his mom. I was still speaking in tongue and it was like Ibrahim was interpreting all what i was saying.  I heard my mom shouting 'Holy Spirit!' It was like another world entirely.

"We can't doubt it, the Holy Spirit is here right now", Abel said.

The Holy Spirit really came down. I stopped speaking in tongue,but i could still feel the power of God all over me, as i was still shaking.

 "In any situation we are we overcome it by the word of God. Lord, it is written what you did not plant shall be uprooted. You didn't plant blindness in the eyes of your daughter, in the name Jesus by your power i command it to be uprooted now, in the name of Jesus!" 

"Amen....!"

Suddenly, i felt something stronger held my eyes, i started screaming. I was seeing deeper darkness than what i was seeing before. Abel still kept on quoting the word of God continuously. Later i started seeing something white, and blue, blue like the colour of the sky. Suddenly, i felt something was pouring out of my eyes.  I was calm. I opened my eyes, Lo and behold my sight had been restored. I was shocked, beyond words.

Ibrahim....I called him slowly.

He was looking at me.

"I... can..see...you", I said to him.

"You can see now!" My mom said immediately, surprised.

"Baby, you mean you can see me?" Ibrahim asked me.

Yes....I replied.

My mom screaming out in joyfully.

"Then, what am i on?" Ibrahim asked.

You on a white T-shirt, i replied. 

"Jesus...!!!" Ibrahim screamed out , surprisingly. He hugged me, we were both shedding tears.

I could see the surprise on everyone's face. Abel was glorify God.

And suddenly, the most shocking thing no one had ever imagined forever, happened. I was shocked to my bones. "Jesus....!" Ibrahim screamed out. More tears were rolling down our faces.



PART 117
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

Ibrahim's mom and his dad came closer to Abel, even Abel himself was so surprised.  

"We are sorry", his mom said, shedding tears. She was on her kneels, Abel told her to get up but she didn't.

"Forgive us", his dad said.

"Wait, are these my parents, or another people",Ibrahim asked me.

I smiled the more, i was astonished.

"I felt it, i felt it. When i was younger as i teenage then, i had a terrible dream. In the dream i was surrounded with four tiny snakes, a snake that had blue colour jumped into my mouth and i sallowed it in the dream. I woke up that night , i felt my throat was hooked, i started coughing and spitting. To cut down the story ever since then I have been been feeling serious pains in my stomach all the time. But as you were praying , i felt someone came to be, i don't know how it happened, but the person pulled the same blue snake out of my mouth. When i opened my eyes i didn't feel the pains anymore", she said as tears were rolling down her face.

"Glory be to God...." Abel kept on saying.

"I felt it too. My wife had been complaining of the pains ever since, till today. I felt it...", his dad said as he was sobbing.

They surrender their life to Jesus Christ. It was wonderful day. 

"You have saved my family so much. You healed my son, my daughter in law, me", his mom said.

"I didn't do anything, God did", Abel said.

"How can we pay you back. We are ready to pay any amount you call", his mom said as she was shedding tears.

"Yes..any amount i will pay now", his dad said.

"No, you don't have to do that, no. I'm working to get paid as you see it", Abel said.

"No, you can't say so", his mom said.

"I could sign a check of 8million naira for you, right", his dad said, as he rushed to go get his check book.

He came back with a check of eight million naria, giving it to Abel. Abel sighed.

"Please, accept it for yourself", his mom said.

"Yes, please", his dad pleaded.

"No, it won't be for me for the church. Glory be to God", Abel said.

"Hallelujah...!!!!" The men that came with Abel shouted Joyfully.

"God has answered. There is this out reach we have planning to do in all the states in Nigeria titled 'Jesus is calling you'. Our the things we needed to to to rent and  food to be cooked for people who will come all was rounded up at over 100 million, as of today it was remaining 8 million to complete it, and now it is", Abel said happily.

Wow...I said surprisingly.

"I never knew God was going to use you to complete His work, in fact our God works in a miraculous way", Abel said.

"We can help with even more than that", his mom said.

"Yes, we can", his dad said.

Abel preached to Ibrahim's parents, Kazeem, Aliya, and Mariam. He told them to find a Bible believing church to be attending, but Ibrahim's parents disagreed totally they said it was Abel church they wanted to be attending, Abel laughed.

"Mommy, daddy, is the same God", Abel said.

"Even though, it's your own church we want to be coming to", his mom said.

"Yes, that's were we want to be coming to", his dad said.

"Alright, that is very fine", Abel said.

Ibrahim's mom walked up to me.



PART 118
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

She went on her kneels asking me to forgive her, she was shedding tears, i forgave her instantly. Aliya knelt down, begging and crying for Ibrahim to forgive her, he did, she also asked me to forgive her, i did. Kazeem and Mariam asked for forgiveness, Ibrahim and i forgave them. His dad did the same too.

To cut the story short, Aliya left on that day, she and Kazeem parted ways forever.  We were all happy again. You need to see the way his mom was treating me, i kept on wondering if she was the one i knew since, it was hard to believe. Religion was the mean issue. My mom and his mom were discussing happily.

"Thank God for all. Adeola, i don't know how to thank you", Ibrahim said.

I smiled.

The next day there was a big celebration. As early as six in the morning people meant to cook had arrived. My dad and siblings came. Both invited and uninvited came,  even those who didn't know why we were celebrating came. It was a big celebration, there was  a lot to eat and drink from morning till night. A lot of food and drinks still remained upon the numbers of people that came.

Ibrahim's parents helped to recover the house. They said they told the man who they sold the house to, that they were ready to pay two times of the money he paid if he would vacate the house in two weeks, and the man agreed. It was after they got back the house they told Ibrahim and i, we were so happy. I hugged his mommy happily.

"You can go check outside, your wife cars and yours are out there", his dad said.

What.....!!! I yelled out happily.

"Dad, are you for real?" Ibrahim asked.

"Yes my son. We didn't sell the cars we only kept it somewhere", Ibrahim's mom said.

O my God! I exclaimed happily.

"Yes, my sweetheart", his mom said to me.

We went out to see the cars, we were so happy.

In the evening, his parents called both of us down to the living room. They said they decided to give us some amount of money to start up again. I hugged his parents happily..

"You don't need to thank us na, we are the one to be thanking you", his mom said to me.

In a week time, we left to our own house. We were so filled joy, let me even say over filled with Joy. God is great. Johnson, was so happy also.

Two weeks later.

Ibrahim and i were in the bar outside the house, when the gate opened, and Stella walked in. We got up immediately. I was surprised, why she came.

"What has she come for again?" Ibrahim said angrily.



PART 119
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

"What do you want again?" Ibrahim asked her.

She started sheding tears. She said she was sorry, she was asking us to forgive her, i told her we had forgiven her since. She confessed that the substance she gave me then was to make Ibrahim sleep. She said if i gave I had given him the substance it would have been killing his immune system gradually. She said she did that because she was very hurt, she loved him and he didn't love her back and she was jealous of me. I was so shocked. I never believed Stella who was acting to be my friend could be wicked up to such manner. In fact in this world you never can trust anyone. Ibrahim, told her to leave, but i had to calm him down. She said her husband sent her away because he caught her with another man and she had no where to go. I accepted to stay in our house till her husband temper was down to accept her back. Stella, was so happy. Although, it didn't go down well with Ibrahim. As Stella was with me i kept on speaking to her to change from her life style and she was listening. I went to her house one evening to talk to her husband who is a soft hearted person as he agreed to accept her back. He came with me to my house. Stella and him settled things, they both thanked me so much. 

A month later.

 I was in the car with Ibrahim as i was driving when i saw that hefty lady I met in the cell. I told Ibrahim to stop and he did. She was ran to us saying 'Madam, buy orange ,the orange sweet o'. I kept on looking at her.

"Shadi...", I called her name. I remembered they also called her they name up to four times,when we were in the cell.

She kept on looking at me, she didn't recognize me.


PART 120
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

"Ha, ha, ha , ha!" She exclaimed like she just recognised me.

"Are you not the one?" She asked.

I smiled, nodding my head. She was so surprised. I told her to come in. I told Ibrahim she was the one who saved me from others in the prison, he was happy to see her.

"My  name is Shade o", she said.

Wow, you have a nice name, i said.

She smiled. "Shadi, is an old name now, i am changed now", she said.

I nodded my head smiling, one could see she had changed she was no longer looking razz. I asked her what was going on with her,and why she was selling oranges.

"It's a long story o, o por ghon",she said.

Shade, everyone has a story to tell. You can just shorten it.

She sighed. "I grew up suffering and i am still suffering till now. I graduated from Lagos State University", she said.

Wow! I exclaimed as i didn't know she was a graduate.

"After school i could not get a job. It's a long story,one thing led to another. I didn't want to go back staying with my parents. So i joined the hard life. I had many male friends,so  I started working with some Yahoo boys. I changed my lifestyle to fit into theirs, that's how i became razz. I started smoking, drinking,and taking drugs. To cut the story short why i got arrested was because i was very high on drugs on that day, when someone annoyed me out of annoyance i used a bottle to hit her head, and she passed on. They called the police on me. Although, the lady didn't die. The Yahoo boys didn't come to bail me out because they were in another state because the police were searching for them. My parents didn't come also, they said since i chose to live a razz life i should bear the consequences. A family of mine who later got to know i was arrested was the one who came to bail me out. I went to the house i was living with those guys but i couldn't find any of them. I tried calling them but it wasn't going through, they had changed their numbers for security purpose. I kept on sending messages on social media to them, but they didn't reply. I really thought of my life and i decided to change, to live a responsible life", she said, as tears were rolling down her face.

 I felt pity for her.

I am ready to help you, i said to her.

"No",Ibrahim said jokingly.

What's no? I asked him jokingly.

"We are ready to help you", Ibrahim said.

"Are you serious?" She asked.

"Yes, thank you so much. My wife here told me, if not because of you those ladies would have beaten her up and may be by now she may still have the marks on her face because she doesn't know how to fight at all", Ibrahim said jokingly.

Get away jhor, i said as i was laughing.

"Even if you push me away, i won't get away", he said.

I laughed out again.

Today is the end of you selling oranges, you are going to be doing something better soon, i said to her.

"Are you serious?" She asked.

"I am very serious" , i said to her.

She went home with us on that day. Abel called me on that evening, and i told him about Shade,he said it would be better if i bring her. Abel had hostels were those who just gave their life to Christ and didn't have any home, stayed. The hotels are free with free food that was cooked and severed three times a day. When i told Shade she was so happy to go. I drove her their, she met with Abel. I gave her some amount of money before living.

Two months later.

I was so surprised to hear Shade was getting married to one of the  ministers in Abel's church. He said since he was thirty years, God had been showing him Shade in his dream that she will be his wife and he was very surprised when he saw her physically, after he had kept on waiting.  Their weeding took place, Abel blessed their weeding. Shade's parents were so happy, her parents thanked me so much. Shade, Shade's husband, Abel, they all thanked me after the wedding. It was a great weeding. 

After the wedding Ibrahim and i went home, feeling very tired and exhausted.



PART 121
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE

"Baby, you are such a wonderful woman, you know", Ibrahim said.

I smiled.

"Yes, with the help of God and you, we were able to over come all. No one could had ever been better than you. Thank you for being there for me both the good and bad times, you are a complete woman."

He kept on adoring me.

*Sometimes God let us go through hard times as a result of the wicked actions of others, yet we have to endure no matter how unfair or unjust, we can be sure God will use it for His good.*

I flashed back to what God told me when i was in the hospital crying, He said.... _Daughter, your life is for me glory._

Who says God didn't answer my prayers?Who says God wasn't with me in all? Who says God wasn't watching. 

In all situation we have to still keep on hoping in God, because He is working everything for our good. Imagine if i had given up? I didn't I still kept on going, not that it was easy for me, it wasn't at all.
The ways of God are different from the ways of man. God works in a miraculous way different from the way a man can understand. 

I remember Bayo's statement .... "Things happen for a reason we may know or may never know."
Nothing happens for no reason.

God worked all for good.....

Even when Kazeem came to harm me, and i didn't find Johnson. He made Abel to find Johnson. Johnson was raised up in the ways of the Lord better than i could have raised him up. That day i couldn't get home that i had to sleep in someone's house, she was the one who God used to bail me.

When Ibrahim was made to leave me, God still glorified himself, i met Bayo and he got healed of that deadly virus.

Even when i went into prison, it was for a purpose to meet Shade and through that Shade got connected to her flesh.

Imagine I wasn't sent out of the house my Ibrahim's mom i would have been killed by kazeem.

When i became blind i thought it was the end of the world but God used it to Glorify Himself.

In any situation we find ourselves we must never give up but keep on praying for God to work all out for our good. The ways of God are different from the ways of man.

All Glory to be to God, and i forgot to tell you Johnson's named was changed to EMMANUEL meaning God is with us, indeed God is with us, and He is with you also.

 Although we both didn't listen to our parents and we got married, we faced the consequences only by the Grace of God we were able to overcome it. Now i understand why sometimes parents are against their child getting married to a certain person, they see more than we can see. Thank God also i didn't do what Stella advised me to do, there are some certain friends we need to keep away from to save our marriage not all advises we get from people we must act on, and i am also happy Stella changed. Thank God Ibrahim opened up about what happened between he and Stella, imagine if Stella was the one who told me i would have been more angry, hurt, heartbroken and i may have just ended up leaving him. Let's always be open up to our patner and be truthful also.

That's the END of my story.

When i flash back they were noting but just *MY PAINS.*

If you have learnt from Adeola's story,say a word of prayer for the writer, Thank you and stay blessed.



WATCH OUT AS THERE WILL SOON BE A STORY TITLED "MY RELATIONSHIP" FROM THE SAME AUTHOR. "MY RELATIONSHIP IS A STORY OF A LADY WHO HAD MANY FAILED RELATIONSHIPS BEFORE SHE GOT IT RIGHT


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